Weaponized Incompetence & Why We’re Done Dating Losers

SPILF x FEELD LIVE: Demisexuals, 2,500 Matches, and an #IRL Surprise

In this special LIVE episode from our SPILF x FEELD social at Little Joy, we filmed in front of hundreds of our friends and Feeld users after one too many drinks. Miles learned what demisexual means while Joey handed her actual Feeld profile to the crowd and lets them decide who (if anyone) deserved a like back out of her 2,500+ likes. We scrolled through real profiles on the projector, talk about why Feeld attracts people who are a little more self‑aware and intentional, and then get fully gagged when one of Joey’s matches turns out to be sitting in the room! If you’ve ever wanted to crowdsource your dating decisions, get clarity on your own sexuality labels, or just be a fly on the wall while someone’s thirst traps get audited in public, this episode is chaos in the best way. Download Feeld at feeld.co to explore dating beyond the norm and maybe meet your next person online or at their next #IRL event! instagram.com/spilfpodcast instagram.com/joeynogood instagram.com/milesgarber

Swag Gap – Stop Dating People Who Aren’t on Your Level

There comes a point when you realize you’re done dating people who just aren’t on your level - cool factor or emotionally. In this episode of SPILF, Joey and Miles introduce the idea of the 'Swag Gap': when your partner’s taste doesn’t match how hard you’ve worked to cultivate who you are. We break down not just the aesthetic swag gap but the emotional one: bad communication styles, not knowing how to fight without spiraling, and a total lack of repair after conflict. We talk about the character traits we want in our next partners — emotional availability, stability, and consistency over time — and to remind ourselves to stop “dating down” in every sense. If you’ve ever felt secretly embarrassed by your partner’s vibe or exhausted by their inability to regulate and show up like an adult, this episode will feel uncomfortably accurate. LA friends!! Come hang with us IRL at our event with Feeld on Tuesday, March 24th, 6–9pm at Little Joy in Echo Park. instagram.com/spilfpodcast instagram.com/joeynogood instagram.com/milesgarber

How the Fashion Industry Makes You Hate Your Body

Body dysmorphia doesn’t care how “hot” the world thinks you are. **Trigger Warning: Body Dysmorphia, Eating Disorders, Suicidal Ideation. Please skip this entire episode if you'd like to avoid this episode's topics ** In this episode of SPILF, Miles gets raw about how 20 years in the modeling industry shattered his perception of his own body. We unpack why the fashion world’s obsession with thinness is literally making people sick, and how a loss of autonomy can turn food into the only thing you feel you can control. Joey highlights how neurodivergent brains and eating disorders can go hand in hand. We talk about navigating your body image after childbirth, and the mindset shift that comes with maturity. If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and felt detached from what you see, or used food and your body as a battlefield, this one will hit close to home. Got a question, story, or hot take you want them to unpack next? Send a voice note to: heybestie@spilfpodcast.com [heybestie@spilfpodcast.com]. instagram.com/spilfpodcast instagram.com/joeynogood instagram.com/milesgarber

Weaponized Incompetence & Why We’re Done Dating Losers

Weaponized incompetence is real - and we are over it. In this episode of SPILF, Joey and Miles blow off some steam about co-parenting frustrations, basic life skills that somehow never get handled, and the exhausting pattern of adults acting helpless when they're just lazy. We break down what weaponized incompetence actually is, how it shows up in relationships, and why it’s manipulative. We are DONE dating losers. Joey invites anyone to call her as a reference if you’re dating one of her exes. Miles talks about recognizing patterns early and calling out poor behavior in real time. We are entering a new era. No more over-functioning. No more babysitting grown adults. No more accepting less. YEAR OF THE HORSE, BABY Got a question? Have feedback? Want to be featured on an episode? Send us a voice note to heybestie@spilfpodcast.com Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/spilfpodcast instagram.com/joeynogood instagram.com/milesgarber

Daddy Issues & Alpha vs Performative Males: What Makes a Good Man?

Our daddy issues run deep. In this episode of SPILF, Joey and Miles talk about their absent fathers and how we look for love and role models in all the wrong places. Together, they unpack the myth of the alpha male, what actually defines a good man, and why so much of modern masculinity feels performative. They talk about men use sex to reclaim power, how emotional dumping is immature, and we teach boys to do better after becoming parents. An honest, uncomfortable, and necessary conversation about masculinity that isn’t about tearing men down, but raising them better. Got a question? Have feedback? Want to be featured on an episode? Send us a voice note to heybestie@spilfpodcast.com Follow us on Instagram: instagram.com/spilfpodcast instagram.com/joeynogood instagram.com/milesgarber