How to Click With Anyone, Read Every Room, and Stop Absorbing Other People's Stress | Kate Murphy

Secrets From the Therapist's Couch: How Boundaries Actually Work, How To Come To Peace With Your Parents, and Why It's Not Too Late To Change | Lori Gottlieb

Plus: How your envy can be useful, why you're an unreliable narrator of your own life, and why you keep choosing partners who echo the unfinished business of your childhood. Lori Gottlieb [https://lorigottlieb.com/] is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1328662055?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback], which has sold over three million copies and has been translated into over 30 languages. In addition to her clinical practice, she writes The New York Times "Ask the Therapist [https://www.nytimes.com/column/ask-the-therapist]" advice column and is co-host of the popular "Dear Therapists [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-therapists-with-lori-gottlieb-and-guy-winch/id1523340696]" podcast and the advice podcast Since You Asked [https://www.thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com/]. In this episode we talk about: * Why insight alone doesn't change anything, and what "idiot compassion" gets wrong * Whether you actually need to like your therapist * Why there's no such thing as a hierarchy of pain * How to spot a help-rejecting complainer, including in yourself * What envy is actually trying to tell you * Why a real boundary is a bid for connection, not a cutoff * Why we're all unreliable narrators, and how to edit the story you tell about yourself * Why we keep choosing partners who echo our unfinished business Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] Additional Resources: * Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Workbook [https://www.amazon.com/Maybe-You-Should-Talk-Someone-ebook/dp/B09L5BR22N/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=W79Xz&content-id=amzn1.sym.3a079c4e-f938-40c9-a0ed-01ef0e9528e9&pf_rd_p=3a079c4e-f938-40c9-a0ed-01ef0e9528e9&pf_rd_r=141-9976842-2413604&pd_rd_wg=FX80K&pd_rd_r=d220e930-ce42-43be-9752-170f8b222aba] * Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Journal [https://www.amazon.com/Maybe-Should-Talk-Someone-Journal/dp/0358667216/ref=books_amazonstores_desktop_mfs_author_smart_catalog_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=2jmuh&content-id=amzn1.sym.aec507cb-142c-4f68-9ae5-803b8e7b33f1&pf_rd_p=aec507cb-142c-4f68-9ae5-803b8e7b33f1&pf_rd_r=141-9976842-2413604&pd_rd_wg=f7Bbg&pd_rd_r=72ca8675-6aeb-4907-beb4-2936ad0323c6] Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party], or sign up to livestream here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-livestream]! This episode is sponsored by: Function Health: Join at functionhealth.com/happier [http://functionhealth.com/happier] or use the gift code HAPPIER25 for a $25 credit toward your membership. To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]

Joyful Anyway: Surviving the Sh*t Show of Regular Life | Kate Bowler

Why optimization is a joy blocker, how to find the 'yes' inside the 'no,' and why that restless ache you can't shake is actually your compass. Kate Bowler [https://katebowler.com/], PhD is a four-time New York Times bestselling author, award-winning podcast host, and an Associate Professor of American Religious History at Duke University. She studies the cultural stories we tell ourselves about success, suffering, and whether (or not) we're capable of change. Her newest book is Joyful, Anyway [https://katebowler.com/books/joyfulanyway/]. In this episode we talk about: * The dangerous difference between joy and happiness * Why optimization and self-mastery are quietly killing your capacity for delight * How to find the "yes" inside every "no" (even when things are genuinely terrible) * The ache and restlessness you can't shake—and why it's actually your compass, not a problem to solve * What grace actually looks like when control disappears * How to stop trying to improve your way into joy * The "assignment" that changes how you show up for other people * Why survival isn't the point—living is Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] Additional Resources: * Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies I've Loved) [https://www.amazon.com/Everything-Happens-Reason-Other-Loved/dp/0399592067] * No Cure For Being Human (and Other Truths I Need to Hear) [https://www.amazon.com/No-Cure-Being-Human-Truths-ebook/dp/B08RHF2RV5/ref=books_amazonstores_desktop_mfs_author_smart_catalog_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=R22vF&content-id=amzn1.sym.aec507cb-142c-4f68-9ae5-803b8e7b33f1&pf_rd_p=aec507cb-142c-4f68-9ae5-803b8e7b33f1&pf_rd_r=141-9976842-2413604&pd_rd_wg=xTBfh&pd_rd_r=bfd2044f-c90d-46a8-9631-b5392910cecc] * Have a Beautiful, Terrible Day! [https://www.amazon.com/Have-Beautiful-Terrible-Day-Betweens/dp/0593727673] Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party], or sign up to livestream here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-livestream]! To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris] This episode is sponsored by: BetterHelp: Online therapy, matched to your needs. Get 10% off your first month at www.betterhelp.com/happier [https://www.betterhelp.com/happier]. Gusto: Try Gusto today at gusto.com/HAPPIER [http://gusto.com/HAPPIER], and get three months free when you run your first payroll.

Why We Crave Gurus: A Skeptic's Reckoning With Belief, Bitcoin, and Burning Man | Vikram Gandhi

What a fake guru discovered about genuine connection, why ancient wisdom survives even the most rigorous skepticism, and the real reason humans crave spiritual authority. Vikram Gandhi is an award-winning and boundary-pushing director of fiction and non-fiction film and television. Vikram most recently co-directed The Man Will Burn [https://www.hbomax.com/shows/man-will-burn/6e69de11-44dc-472a-a7bb-1f0b4be7738b] — a five-part HBO Original Documentary Series on the full arc of Burning Man, from its countercultural roots in San Francisco to the 80,000-person desert event it's become. In this episode we talk about: * Why an experiment built to reject capitalism ended up swimming in it * What playing a fake guru taught him about how belief actually works * Why people are often more comfortable opening up to a stranger than to those closest to them * What religion, cryptocurrency, and Burning Man all have in common * How to find meaning in ancient wisdom without needing to belong to anything * And much more Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris] This episode is sponsored by: Jiyu Skin: Our listeners can now get an additional 20% off plus free shipping with our code HAPPIER at jiyuskin.com [http://jiyuskin.com/]. Tonal: Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase with promo code HAPPIER. Rosetta Stone: Ten Percent Happier listeners can get 20% off their Rosetta Stone Sapphire subscription when they sign up today. Visit rosettastone.com/happier [http://rosettastone.com/happier] to redeem your 20% off.

Anxiety, Overthinking, and Overwhelm: Buddhist Hacks For Changing Your Mind | Joseph Goldstein

Simple practices for not believing everything you think, becoming less reactive, and handling whatever life throws at you. Joseph Goldstein [https://www.dharma.org/teacher/joseph-goldstein/] is a cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society [https://www.dharma.org/] and the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies [https://www.buddhistinquiry.org/], both in Barre, Massachusetts. He is the author of many books including, most recently, Dreamscapes of the Mind [http://give.dharma.org/JGpoetry]. In this episode we talk about: * Why your thoughts have so much power over you — and how to take it back * A surprisingly funny technique for dealing with self-judgment * Why trying to get rid of an unwanted thought often makes it worse * The difference between recognizing an emotion and actually being mindful of it * Why sadness and unhappiness aren't the same thing * And much more Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]

Perfectionism, Burnout, and Self-Doubt: Break the Loop with the Science of Mattering | Gordon Flett

Plus: combatting loneliness, turning down the volume on social comparison, and why mattering to a few people beats outperforming everyone. Gordon Flett [https://www.thematteringmovement.com/gordon-flett] is a Professor in the Department of Psychology at York University where he has served as the Director of the LaMarsh Centre for Child and Youth Research. Dr. Flett is most known for his influential research on perfectionism in health and mental health and his more recent work on the psychology of mattering. In this episode we talk about: * The difference between perfectionism and healthy striving * How perfectionism functions as a coping mechanism for unmet needs for love, belonging, and significance * What "mattering" actually means * Antimattering (and our fear of not mattering) * Why feeling like you matter to others can loosen the grip of perfectionism * Why people consistently underestimate how much they matter to others * Practical ways to help others feel like they matter * Why helping others feel like they matter boomerangs back and boosts your own sense of significance * The fear of not mattering in the age of AI Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] Additional Resources: * Gordon's books: The Psychology of Mattering [https://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Mattering-Understanding-Human-Significant/dp/012809415X], Mattering as a Core Need in Children and Adolescents [https://www.amazon.com/Mattering-Core-Need-Children-Adolescents/dp/1433842785/ref=sr_1_3?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1ifm0k6_LOxGtHhLv0yX2PjSRhksVAnwD40N3ChsbDOYaZ6MVOs5XswMbVCtan6Zc_n22pfMBAaJ1QflzwfWdXP_GUgzYZyUSUQw57eI0dsMfnhz8L1ud3unZGKLIYzGwIY7h8EyJqnDV9otNFfKDXh_vSl1ZQwFHKnO8ufG-wPvARz1YJYye98DKxakVZbEl-L0NYaegV6PRnGVg3gPI2G9V9K3LVHwrh4yOSi5TTk.O2LI-5V0yjPh_FhrvldsB-t-Hz0Gp84-AzrkLLcTZzY&dib_tag=se&qid=1782153333&refinements=p_27%3AGordon+L.+Flett&s=books&sr=1-3], and Perfectionism: Theory, Research, and Treatment [https://www.amazon.com/Perfectionism-Research-Treatment-Gordon-Flett/dp/1557988420/ref=sr_1_4?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1ifm0k6_LOxGtHhLv0yX2PjSRhksVAnwD40N3ChsbDOYaZ6MVOs5XswMbVCtan6Zc_n22pfMBAaJ1QflzwfWdXP_GUgzYZyUSUQw57eI0dsMfnhz8L1ud3unZGKLIYzGwIY7h8EyJqnDV9otNFfKDXh_vSl1ZQwFHKnO8ufG-wPvARz1YJYye98DKxakVZbEl-L0NYaegV6PRnGVg3gPI2G9V9K3LVHwrh4yOSi5TTk.O2LI-5V0yjPh_FhrvldsB-t-Hz0Gp84-AzrkLLcTZzY&dib_tag=se&qid=1782153333&refinements=p_27%3AGordon+L.+Flett&s=books&sr=1-4] Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party], or sign up to livestream here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-livestream]! This episode is sponsored by: Quo – Try Quo for free, plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com/happier [http://quo.com/happier]. BetterHelp — Online therapy, matched to your needs. Get 10% off your first month at https://www.betterhelp.com/happier [https://www.betterhelp.com/happier] Warby Parker — Prescription glasses with virtual try-on. Buy one prescription pair and get 20% off additional prescription pairs at https://www.warbyparker.com/happier [https://www.warbyparker.com/happier] IQBAR: To get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, including the ultimate sampler pack, plus free shipping, text DAN to 64000. To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]