Perfectionism, Burnout, and Self-Doubt: Break the Loop with the Science of Mattering | Gordon Flett

Perfectionism, Burnout, and Self-Doubt: Break the Loop with the Science of Mattering | Gordon Flett

Plus: combatting loneliness, turning down the volume on social comparison, and why mattering to a few people beats outperforming everyone. Gordon Flett [https://www.thematteringmovement.com/gordon-flett] is a Professor in the Department of Psychology at York University where he has served as the Director of the LaMarsh Centre for Child and Youth Research. Dr. Flett is most known for his influential research on perfectionism in health and mental health and his more recent work on the psychology of mattering. In this episode we talk about: * The difference between perfectionism and healthy striving * How perfectionism functions as a coping mechanism for unmet needs for love, belonging, and significance * What "mattering" actually means * Antimattering (and our fear of not mattering) * Why feeling like you matter to others can loosen the grip of perfectionism * Why people consistently underestimate how much they matter to others * Practical ways to help others feel like they matter * Why helping others feel like they matter boomerangs back and boosts your own sense of significance * The fear of not mattering in the age of AI Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] Additional Resources: * Gordon's books: The Psychology of Mattering [https://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Mattering-Understanding-Human-Significant/dp/012809415X], Mattering as a Core Need in Children and Adolescents [https://www.amazon.com/Mattering-Core-Need-Children-Adolescents/dp/1433842785/ref=sr_1_3?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1ifm0k6_LOxGtHhLv0yX2PjSRhksVAnwD40N3ChsbDOYaZ6MVOs5XswMbVCtan6Zc_n22pfMBAaJ1QflzwfWdXP_GUgzYZyUSUQw57eI0dsMfnhz8L1ud3unZGKLIYzGwIY7h8EyJqnDV9otNFfKDXh_vSl1ZQwFHKnO8ufG-wPvARz1YJYye98DKxakVZbEl-L0NYaegV6PRnGVg3gPI2G9V9K3LVHwrh4yOSi5TTk.O2LI-5V0yjPh_FhrvldsB-t-Hz0Gp84-AzrkLLcTZzY&dib_tag=se&qid=1782153333&refinements=p_27%3AGordon+L.+Flett&s=books&sr=1-3], and Perfectionism: Theory, Research, and Treatment [https://www.amazon.com/Perfectionism-Research-Treatment-Gordon-Flett/dp/1557988420/ref=sr_1_4?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1ifm0k6_LOxGtHhLv0yX2PjSRhksVAnwD40N3ChsbDOYaZ6MVOs5XswMbVCtan6Zc_n22pfMBAaJ1QflzwfWdXP_GUgzYZyUSUQw57eI0dsMfnhz8L1ud3unZGKLIYzGwIY7h8EyJqnDV9otNFfKDXh_vSl1ZQwFHKnO8ufG-wPvARz1YJYye98DKxakVZbEl-L0NYaegV6PRnGVg3gPI2G9V9K3LVHwrh4yOSi5TTk.O2LI-5V0yjPh_FhrvldsB-t-Hz0Gp84-AzrkLLcTZzY&dib_tag=se&qid=1782153333&refinements=p_27%3AGordon+L.+Flett&s=books&sr=1-4] Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party], or sign up to livestream here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-livestream]! This episode is sponsored by: Quo – Try Quo for free, plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com/happier [http://quo.com/happier]. BetterHelp — Online therapy, matched to your needs. Get 10% off your first month at https://www.betterhelp.com/happier [https://www.betterhelp.com/happier] Warby Parker — Prescription glasses with virtual try-on. Buy one prescription pair and get 20% off additional prescription pairs at https://www.warbyparker.com/happier [https://www.warbyparker.com/happier] IQBAR: To get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, including the ultimate sampler pack, plus free shipping, text DAN to 64000. To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]

How a Group of Broke 20-Somethings Accidentally Launched the Mindfulness Movement | Jack Kornfield, Joseph Goldstein and Sharon Salzberg

The time the Dalai Lama went bowling in their basement, the time a stranger showed up with exactly the $15,000 they were missing — and more behind-the-scenes stories from 50 years of IMS. In 1975, a handful of young Americans fresh back from years of intensive practice in India and Burma pooled together $150,000 they didn't have and bought a former Catholic novitiate in rural Massachusetts. Fifty years later, the Insight Meditation Society has become one of the most consequential institutions in the history of Buddhism in the West — the place where Jon Kabat-Zinn had the idea that became Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, and where, as one longtime yogi put it, the whole thing has run for half a century "without any adult supervision whatsoever." For IMS's 50th anniversary, Dan sits down with four of its founding teachers — Jack Kornfield, Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg, and Jacqueline Mandell — along with Steven Schwartz, who helped get the organization built in the first place. Together they trace the founding story, the early years of $25-a-month stipends and "window wars," the accidental birth of the mindfulness movement, and what they hope IMS looks like 1,000 years from now. For more on the Insight Meditation Society, including how to support their new retreat center, you can visit dharma.org [http://dharma.org/]. Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] Join Dan, Sebene Selassie and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18, 2026. Register here. [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party#9851] To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]

How To Communicate Effectively With Difficult People: When to Tell the Truth, When to Push Back, and Why Kindness Isn't the Same as Being Nice | Sharon Salzberg

Plus: the four questions the Buddha said you should ask before you speak, the truth about gossip, and what to do when compassion and honesty pull in opposite directions. Sharon Salzberg [https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/] is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is among the first to bring mindfulness & lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture fifty years ago. In this episode we talk about: * What the Buddha actually said about how to talk to people, and why almost none of us were ever taught it * The four questions to ask yourself before you open your mouth * Whether white lies are ever okay * The difference between being kind and being nice * Is it ever okay to gossip? * Why shame is the enemy of change, and what "right" in right speech actually means * How to remember any of this when you're mid-conversation with a difficult person Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris] Rosetta Stone – Get 20% off your Rosetta Stone Sapphire subscription when you sign up today. Visit rosettastone.com/happier [http://osettastone.com/happier] Square – Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at square.com/go/happier [http://square.com/go/happier] #squarepod Leesa — Go to leesa.com [http://leesa.com/] for 25% off select mattresses, plus get an extra $50 off with promo code HAPPIER. OneSkin: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code HAPPIER at https://www.oneskin.co/HAPPIER [https://www.oneskin.co/HAPPIER] #oneskinpod

Your Job Is Hijacking Your Life: How to Set Limits, Decrease Work Stress, and Reclaim Your Evenings | Guy Winch

Why ruminating after hours is unpaid overtime — plus, how to handle bad bosses, beat the Sunday scaries, and actually recharge. Dr. Guy Winch is an internationally renowned psychologist and bestselling author who advocates for integrating the science of emotional health into our daily lives. His 3 TED Talks [https://www.ted.com/speakers/guy_winch] have garnered over 35 million views and his science based self-help books [https://www.guywinch.com/books/] have been translated into 30 languages. His newest book is: Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life [https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Over-Grind-Break-Hijacks/dp/1668069334]. In this episode we talk about: * Why work stress is at an all-time high — and what the pandemic permanently broke * How to tell the difference between regular stress and full-blown burnout * Why ruminating about a bad day at the office is unpaid overtime — and how to stop * Techniques for coaching yourself through hard moments without lying to yourself * How to actually recover after work — and why collapsing on the couch isn't the same as recharging * How to set limits with a difficult boss without torching the relationship * A practical tool for mapping the real stress in your job * What to do with the Sunday scaries — and one scheduling trick that actually works * How chronic work stress quietly erodes your ethics over time Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] Additional Resources: * Dear Therapists [https://www.guywinch.com/podcast/] Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party], or sign up to livestream here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-livestream]! This episode is sponsored by: BetterHelp — Online therapy, matched to your needs. Get 10% off your first month at https://www.betterhelp.com/happier [https://www.betterhelp.com/happier] https://www.betterhelp.com/happier Northwest Registered Agent — LLC formation, registered agent service, and free business resources at https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/Happierfree [https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/Happierfree] To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]

In an Age of Techno-Pessimism, Here's the Science-Based Case for Optimism | Rob Marciano

On nuclear fusion, solid-state batteries, driverless cars, and other innovations — and why, for one cynical disaster reporter, meeting the scientists building them changed everything. Rob Marciano is the national weather correspondent for CBS News and a Cornell-trained scientist with more than 30 years in television news. A former co-host of Weekend Good Morning America at ABC News, he's also the co-author, alongside physicist James Trefil, of The Next Big Thing: Innovations for a Better, Smarter, Stronger Tomorrow [https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/770112/the-next-big-thing-by-rob-marciano-james-trefil/]. Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]