#183 Presuming Competence in the Preschool Classroom

#183 Presuming Competence in the Preschool Classroom

My non-speaking three-year-old student told me "This is boring" on his AAC device. That moment changed everything for me, because that is communication, and that is competence. It's exactly what today's episode is about: presuming competence, an idea that quietly shapes everything else we do with young autistic children. Because so often, the ability was there all along. What was missing wasn't the child's capacity. It was the tools, and an adult willing to believe there was something worth saying. This conversation explores what presuming competence actually means, why it matters so much in the preschool years, the prerequisite myths that hold kids back, and the practical shifts that help us act like the capable child is already there. We'll talk about: ● what presuming competence really means ● why the preschool years set a child's trajectory ● the "prerequisite trap" and why there are no readiness skills for communication ● why speech is not the same as intelligence ● what presuming competence looks like in a real classroom ● why communication should never have to be earned Because we don't know what a child knows until they have the tools to tell us. In This Episode, You'll Learn • What it actually means to presume competence, and why it's a starting posture, not a reward • Why the false belief that "speech equals intelligence" causes real harm • How the way we describe a child can become a self-fulfilling prophecy • Why there are no prerequisites for communication, no pointing, matching, or "safe behavior" required • How lowered expectations in early childhood can follow a child for a lifetime • Practical ways to presume competence with non-speaking and minimally speaking children • Why cognitive testing can dramatically underestimate what a child knows • What it means to make communication available rather than something a child has to earn Key Takeaways • Presuming competence means believing in a child's capacity before they can prove it • Non-speaking does not mean non-understanding • Speech is not the same as intelligence • There are no readiness skills required for robust AAC • Children grow toward the expectations we hold for them • We don't talk about a child in front of them, because we presume they understand • Behavior almost always has deeper meaning than a few simple categories • Communication is a right, not something a child has to earn Try This • Pick one child whose abilities you may be quietly underestimating, and shift one assumption this week • Talk to every child as if they understand every word, because they very well might • Stop talking about a child in front of them, even with co-teachers and paras • Follow a child's deep interests instead of restricting them • Model language without requiring the child to perform it back • Make room for silence, simply being a calm, trusting presence • Hold cognitive test scores loosely, and presume there is more inside than the test could reach Related Resources & Links AAC In The Classroom [https://autismlittlelearners.myflodesk.com/fu7rw3auqh] AAC- What Most Educators Miss [https://autismlittlelearners.thrivecart.com/aac/] Preschool Autism Summit Registration [https://autismlittlelearners.lpages.co/pas-free-o/?utm_source=insta_post&utm_medium=organic_social&utm_campaign=pas2026%20&utm_content=inpost1]- Grab your free ticket to the 3rd Annual Preschool Autism Summit (Happening Now) Autism Little Learners Membership [http://www.autismlittlelearners.com/member] When we presume competence, we stop waiting for children to prove they're ready and start making sure they always have the opportunity to communicate. Our job was never to decide when a child is ready. It's to make sure the door is always open. And once you start seeing every child as already capable, it changes everything about the way you teach.

#182 Emotional Intelligence in the Classroom with NYT Best Seller Alyssa Blask Campbell

What if defiance is really dysregulation? In this episode I sit down with Alyssa Blask Campbell — New York Times bestselling author of Tiny Humans, Big Emotions, founder of Seed & Sow, and co-creator of the Collaborative Emotion Processing method — to talk about emotional intelligence, unique nervous systems, and why the behavior we find hardest is so often a child asking for support. When we see challenging behavior, we're usually looking at a nervous system that needs support — not a child who needs fixing. Alyssa breaks down the five components of emotional intelligence — self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation, and social skills — and why every one of us develops them differently. She shares a fresh way to understand empathy, a powerful reframe around the word "autistic" and our own implicit biases, and why so much of supporting a dysregulated child starts with regulating ourselves first. We also get into her flagship free tool, the regulation questionnaire built alongside OTs, and the sensory shift that's helping schools cut behavior support calls by 60 percent — not by adding more tools, but by matching the right tool to the child in front of you. We'll talk about: * the five components of emotional intelligence, and why we each develop them differently * why regulation is never one-size-fits-all * a fresh way to understand empathy: believing a feeling is true for the child * the Collaborative Emotion Processing method, and why most of it is about us * how implicit bias shapes the way we respond to an autism diagnosis * the free regulation questionnaire, and the sensory shift that cut behavior calls by 60% In This Episode, You'll Learn * The five components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation, and social skills * Why "the volcano" is such a powerful way to teach kids self-awareness * Why regulation strategies have to match a child's unique nervous system * A new definition of empathy — connecting over what a child feels, not why * How implicit biases quietly shape what we expect of an autistic child * Why supporting kids well starts with regulating ourselves first * The difference between sensory-seeking and sensory-sensitive needs, and why the right tool matters * How a free regulation questionnaire helps match the right support to the right child * Why predictable routines are regulating and build a child's autonomy Key Takeaways * Challenging behavior is often a dysregulated nervous system asking for support * Every human has a unique nervous system — regulation is not one-size-fits-all * We each develop the five components of emotional intelligence differently * Empathy means believing a child's feeling is true, no matter the reason behind it * The work starts with the adult: our self-awareness, our biases, our self-care * The right sensory tool beats more tools — match the tool to the child * Meeting sensory needs for everyone can dramatically reduce behavior support calls * Predictability regulates the nervous system and supports autonomy * Your reactivity isn't failure; it's dysregulation — and there's a path forward Try This * Name the "volcano" with a child to build self-awareness before the explosion * Ask what truly calms this nervous system instead of defaulting to deep breaths * Practice empathy by believing the feeling, without judging the reason for it * Notice the story or bias behind your own reaction to a behavior * Map your own nervous system: what recharges you, and what drains you * Offer a sensory tool to any child who needs it, not just to one labeled child * Build in predictable routines and transition objects to ease the day * Regulate yourself first, then return to the child with more capacity Related Resources & Links * Seed & Sow — free Regulation Questionnaire [https://seedandsew.org] * Tiny Humans, Big Emotions by Alyssa Blask Campbell [https://amzn.to/4esl0fk] * Big Kids, Bigger Feelings by Alyssa Blask Campbell [https://amzn.to/43QKD3p] * Preschool Autism Summit (July 2026) [https://www.preschoolautismsummit.com] We all have a unique nervous system, and none of us regulate the same way. When we stop trying to manage behavior and start getting curious about the human in front of us — what's dysregulating, what's regulating, what support would actually help — everything softens. Behavior becomes communication, and our job becomes connection. That's good for our autistic learners, and it turns out it's good for every child in the room.

#181: Every Non-Speaking Child Should Have Access To Robust AAC with AAC User, Jordyn Zimmerman

Imagine understanding every word around you while the adults talk over you like you're not even there — and not having a reliable way to communicate until you're almost 19. That's part of Jordyn Zimmerman's story. Jordyn is an autistic woman who is non-speaking and a full-time AAC user, and in this conversation she shares, from lived experience, what will change how you show up in your classroom. Communication is a basic human right. It is never something a student has to earn, and there are no prerequisites for AAC. None. We talk about why a lack of speech is not a lack of language, what an AAC-rich environment really looks like, the difference between requesting systems and robust language-based AAC, and what "presume competence" actually means as an action, not just a phrase. Jordyn also shares her advocacy work and the simple, powerful truth that every learner deserves a way to comment, question, joke, disagree, and tell their own stories. A quick heads up before you listen: Jordyn prepared some answers ahead of time and responded to others in real time, so you'll hear pauses between each question and Jordyn's answer. I challenge you to resist the urge to fast-forward through the wait time. Sitting with that silence is one of the most important skills of a good communication partner — in this episode, and in your classroom. We'll talk about: * why a lack of speech is not a lack of language — and non-speaking is not non-understanding * why communication is a basic human right, not something a student earns * the real differences between PECS, core boards, and robust language-based AAC * what an AAC-rich environment looks like, and why it's hard to build in separated settings * what "presume competence" actually looks like in daily practice * Jordyn's advocacy work — and why there are no prerequisites for AAC In This Episode, You'll Learn * What Jordyn wishes the adults around her had understood about supporting AAC users * Why consistent, individualized access to a communication system matters from the start * How to build an AAC-rich, language-rich environment that goes beyond the device * Why PECS is a requesting system, and what robust AAC makes possible * How autonomy, choice, and agency separate true communication from requesting alone * What presuming competence means as an action, including offering robust vocabulary from the beginning * Why we shouldn't limit a student's vocabulary until they've "proven" competence * Why honoring wait time is a core communication-partner skill Key Takeaways * Communication is a basic human right, never something a student earns * There are no prerequisites for AAC — none * A lack of speech is not a lack of language; non-speaking is not non-understanding * Robust, language-based AAC offers autonomy; requesting systems alone do not * An AAC-rich environment models language in every way, not just through the device * Presume competence by offering robust language access from the very beginning * Honoring wait time is part of being a good communication partner Try This * Resist the urge to fill silence — give real wait time and let the person respond * Model language through AAC, not just spoken words, throughout the day * Offer robust vocabulary from the start instead of waiting for "proof" of readiness * Build an AAC-rich environment so every child both hears and sees language * Look for any "prerequisites" in your setting — then work to remove them * Assume the child understands, and talk with them, never over them * Make space for commenting, joking, and disagreeing, not just requesting Related Resources & Links Jordyn Zimmerman Website [https://www.jordynzimmerman.com/] Jordyn's documentary [https://thisisnotaboutme.film/] Preschool Autism Summit + VIP Day (Jordyn returns for a deeper conversation) [https://www.preschoolautismsummit.com] No research or framework can teach us what it feels like to understand everything and have no way to say it. When we presume competence, offer robust language from the start, build AAC-rich environments, and honor wait time, we stop asking children to earn their voices and start making sure they always have one. That is the work, and it changes everything.

#180 Preschool Autism Summit: How it came to be & the movement we're building together

He was banging his head on the floor, and Tara remembers the tears sliding down her cheeks and the only words she could find: "How can I help you?" That moment, and dozens of others over 25 years in the classrooms, the real origin story of the Preschool Autism Summit [https://www.preschoolautismsummit.com]. In this episode, we flip the script. Instead of Tara behind the mic, her teammate Shawna takes over as host and interviews Tara about how the summit actually began, long before it was an annual event with 30 presentations and thousands of attendees. What started as one teacher making her own resources because nothing existed for three- and four-year-olds has grown into something much bigger than a conference. Tara and Shawna talk about the isolating early years of teaching "back in the 1900s," the students who taught Tara how to teach, and the gut-level "if it feels yucky, don't do it" moments that pushed her away from compliance-based practices and toward regulation, connection, and respect for autistic children. If you've ever wondered how the Preschool Autism Summit came to be — or why this work matters so deeply — this conversation is for you. In This Episode, You'll Learn * Why Tara started Autism Little Learners — and how it began with simply making her own classroom materials * What teaching autistic students looked like "back in the 1900s," before online resources, memberships, or virtual courses existed * The students who shaped how Tara supports autistic children today * How the idea for the Preschool Autism Summit was born in late 2023 — and why preschool-specific training was the gap she set out to fill * What makes the summit different from a traditional conference (no travel, no cold ballrooms, no weird sandwiches) * How autistic adults review every single presentation to keep the summit genuinely neuroaffirming * Why Tara moved away from behavioral approaches like hand-over-hand prompting and toward regulation and connection * What attendees can expect from the 2026 summit, July 12–15 Key Takeaways * Change often starts with one small idea. Tara never set out to leave the classroom or build a business — she just wanted to share the resources she was already making. * Teaching autistic children can feel isolating. Many educators and SLPs are the only one or two doing this work in their entire school. Community is what breaks the "you're on an island" feeling. * Regulation comes first, connection right beside it. A dysregulated child isn't able to learn — and learning is hard without genuine connection. * Connection means weaving in what a child loves, not dangling their interests as a reward to get compliance. * If it feels yucky, don't do it. That gut feeling is worth trusting — and now there are neuroaffirming alternatives that didn't exist decades ago. * Autistic voices belong at the center. Autistic adults review every presentation, so "neuroaffirming" is a practice, not just a label. * Small shifts in adult behavior have lifelong impact. A child is autistic — it's part of who they are, not something they carry and set aside. * This is a movement, not just an event. One free ticket can reach roughly 10 students. Tara's goal: reach a million. * None of us have to do this work alone. Try This * Reflect on how your own practice has changed over the years. * Name one area where you're moving from compliance toward connection. * Think of a child who reshaped how you see your work. * Reach out to one educator who shares your values. * Grab your free ticket and learn alongside thousands of educators, therapists, and families at the 2026 Preschool Autism Summit. Resources & Links * Preschool Autism Summit Registration — Grab your free ticket to the 3rd Annual Preschool Autism Summit, July 12–15, 2026: preschoolautism.com [https://preschoolautism.com] * This year's summit features 30+ presentations, make-and-take sessions with Tara, and an All Access Pass option for year-round access plus certificates of completion.

#179: The 4-Letter Shift That Changes How You See Behavior!

What if behavior isn't something to stop, but something to listen to? In this episode, we're talking about one of the biggest mindset shifts happening in autism education right now: moving from compliance-based teaching toward connection, regulation, and understanding. Because what often gets labeled as "behavior" in preschool classrooms is actually communication. I'll walk you through what changes when educators stop asking, "How do I stop this behavior?" and start asking, "What is this child telling me right now?" This conversation explores the nervous system underneath behavior, the long-term impact of compliance-focused practices, and what regulation-first support can look like in real preschool classrooms. We'll talk about: ● why "behavior" is often communication ● the hidden cost of compliance-based teaching ● what dysregulation actually looks like in young children ● why regulation must come before expectation ● classroom examples of regulation-first support ● how relationship-building changes learning outcomes Because compliance is not the same as learning. In This Episode, You'll Learn • Why many challenging behaviors are rooted in nervous system needs • How sensory overwhelm, transitions, and demands impact regulation • The difference between compliance and genuine engagement • Why regulation-first classrooms support learning more effectively • What co-regulation looks like during difficult moments • Practical ways to support autistic preschoolers without forcing participation • Why connection creates more sustainable outcomes than control Key Takeaways • Behavior is communication • Dysregulation is not defiance • Compliance does not equal learning • Nervous systems must feel safe before learning can happen • Regulation-first support benefits all children, not just autistic children • Co-regulation happens through presence, not pressure • Flexibility and relationship-building create more meaningful participation • Educators can support children without requiring perfect compliance Try This • Pause before responding to a behavior and ask what the child may be communicating • Look for sensory, emotional, or environmental stressors underneath dysregulation • Offer lower-demand moments during difficult transitions • Loosen one classroom expectation this week and observe what changes • Build in predictable regulation supports throughout the day • Focus on helping the child feel safe before asking them to perform • Replace "How do I stop this?" with "What support is needed here?" Related Resources & Links 💚 Preschool Autism Summit [https://autismlittlelearners.myflodesk.com/j0wlc9qu0s]💚 AAC What Most Educators Miss [https://autismlittlelearners.thrivecart.com/aac/] 💚 [https://autismlittlelearners.thrivecart.com/aac/] Calm Spaces Supports [https://autismlittlelearners.myflodesk.com/830549f9-31a1-4efb-82e4-ea33ff1e8983] 💚 Autism Little Learners Membership [https://autismlittlelearners.lpages.co/autism-little-learners-membership-podcast/] When we shift from compliance to connection, we stop seeing children as problems to manage. We begin seeing nervous systems asking for support. And once you start looking through that lens, it changes everything about the way you teach.