From Broken to Becoming: Healing Trauma, Finding Agency, and Choosing Your Life Episode 94

From Broken to Becoming: Healing Trauma, Finding Agency, and Choosing Your Life Episode 94

What happens when a 30 year career in finance ends not because of burnout, but because of a mosh pit, a moment of clarity, and a voice you finally decided to trust? Steve Sapourn spent decades high functioning and quietly falling apart. Childhood trauma, addiction, and a nervous system wired for survival had him operating as if life was something to brace for rather than build. Until it wasn't. In this episode, Laura sits down with Steve for one of the most honest conversations this show has had. They go deep on what it actually takes to move from surviving to choosing, what healing really looks like when it is not rainbows and realizations, and why the version of yourself underneath the trauma is not gone. It is just waiting. What you will hear in this episode: * Why most people are running old nervous system software and what it costs them * The difference between willingness and courage, and why you need both before you can change anything * What three intelligences live in your body and why you are probably only listening to one of them * Why control is not about power. It is about safety. And that distinction changes everything. * The real reason we avoid feelings and why practicing with the small ones is how you show up for the big ones * What one study about 9 month olds reveals about why all of us carry confusion we did not create If you have ever felt like something is wrong with you at a fundamental level, white knuckled your way through life and called it strength, or found yourself wanting more but unable to let go of what is keeping you stuck, this one is for you. Follow Steve on Instagram at @theneurosjourney [https://www.instagram.com/theneurosjourney] and find Breaking Cycles wherever you listen to podcasts. Ready to do this work yourself? Join the Challengers Circle HERE [https://www.changebychallenge.com/challengers-circle]

The Control Illusion: Why Your Need for Control Is Actually a Fear of Feeling, Episode 93

What if the thing you call "control" is just fear wearing a very convincing costume? You've felt it — that grip-tightening urgency when things start slipping. The frantic planning. The self-blame spiral that sounds rational but quietly hollows you out. We tell ourselves we just need to get a handle on things. But what if control was never the point? In this episode, Laura gets honest about what the craving for control is actually asking for — and why chasing it keeps you one step behind your own life. ▶️ Why control isn't about power — it's about safety, and what that distinction changes everything ▶️ The subtle (and sneaky) way self-blame becomes a control tactic — and how to catch it in real time ▶️ What to do when the culture around you is dysregulating and control isn't an option ▶️ The shift from control → consistency → agency, and why this is the actual path to stability ▶️ What Laura texted her best friend on a Sunday when she felt like she was about to explode — and what she said back This isn't a productivity conversation. It's a much deeper one — about what it means to feel safe in your own skin when the world around you won't hold still. If you've ever white-knuckled your way through uncertainty and called it strength — this one's for you. Listen now, and then ask yourself: what am I actually craving when I want control? Learn more HERE [https://www.changebychallenge.com/challengers-circle]

Confidence vs. Self-Assurance: The Missing Link in Your Leadership, Episode 92

We treat confidence like a prerequisite—that magical armor we need to earn before we’re allowed to be brave. But what if waiting for confidence is actually the very thing keeping you stuck? Most of us spend our lives chasing the feeling of certainty, hoping that if we just "had more confidence," the fear would disappear. We look at our environment, wait for validation, and shrink when the feedback doesn't match our intentions. It’s a vicious cycle—and it’s completely backward. In this episode, we’re dismantling the myth that confidence is the starting line. Confidence isn't something you have before you act; it is the outcome of acting. Instead, we’re exploring the one trait you actually need to build first: Self-Assurance. In this episode, you’ll discover: * The "Container" Theory: Why your message or effort isn't failing, even if the feedback says it is. * The Internal Shift: How to move from seeking external validation to standing on your own "ground." * Leadership in Real-Time: How to handle hard conversations—with others and yourself—without losing your footing. * The Compassion Loop: How to soothe the inner critic the moment you start to spiral. If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by the fear of being misunderstood, or if you find yourself waiting for permission to be bold, this conversation is for you. It’s time to stop waiting for the "feeling" and start building the foundation. Ready to stop waiting? Join us inside the Challengers Circle [https://www.changebychallenge.com/challengers-circle] to turn these insights into practice. We’re building a community of people who are tired of playing small and ready to lead—starting with themselves. Listen now.

You've Been Dimming Your Light for People Who Won't Even Clap With Tammi B, Episode 91

You've been showing up. Giving everything. Shrinking yourself just enough so nobody feels uncomfortable. And the people you've been doing it for? Still not clapping. Tammi B knows this story from the inside. For years she was the prayer warrior, the encourager, the one everyone leaned on...while quietly fighting depression nobody could see. She was performing her life far better than she was living it. And the moment that cracked her open wasn't a breakthrough. It was trauma, a season of forced silence, and a healing meditation that made her realize she'd been waiting for permission that was never coming. This conversation doesn't just name the problem. It walks you through what it actually takes to stop dimming...even when the people in your life aren't ready for the full version of you. Even when choosing yourself feels like betrayal. Even when the silence is the scariest part. What’s inside:  * The hidden face of functional depression...and why the most giving people are often the most disconnected * How Tammi's awakening unfolded in secret...and why silence was the strategy, not the shame * What it looks like to awaken when the people around you aren't ready to follow * Why fear was never meant to stop you...it's a yield sign, not a stop sign * The butterfly moment that reframes every struggle you've been trying to escape * Why the most meaningful moments of your life were never comfortable...and what that's actually telling you * The one thing Tammi would tell anyone who's overwhelmed, stuck, and scared to start If you've ever made yourself smaller to keep the peace...this one will feel like finally being seen. If you've been waiting for the right moment to stop shrinking...this conversation might just be it. Listen now. Then send this to someone who needs to hear that their light was never too much...it was always exactly enough. Join the Challengers Circle TODAY to shine in your FULL light- https://circle.changebychallenge.com/cbc-home [https://circle.changebychallenge.com/cbc-home]  Connect With Tammi B: Coaching: www.tammib.com [http://www.tammib.com]  IG/FB/Tik Tok/You Tube: @thassawoman LinkedIN: tammirboyd Her life changing partial autobiography and empowerment is available:   It Had to Happen Release the Past and Step into Your Power..  & Successful Women Anthology can be purchased on thassawoman.com

The Bridge Nobody Tells You Conflict Can Build, Episode 90

What if every conflict you've been running from was actually an invitation to be trusted, respected, and known? Most of us weren't taught how to fight well. We were just taught not to fight — swallow it, smooth it over, move on. And so we did. Until we looked up one day and realized nobody really sees us, nobody really hears us, and we've been at war with ourselves this whole time. This episode is for anyone who knows there's something they need to say but keeps finding reasons not to say it. For anyone who walks away from hard conversations feeling smaller than when they walked in. For anyone who's confused how people can be this close and still feel this alone. Laura Weiner-Kiser breaks down what conflict actually is (hint: it's not the enemy), why most people handle it wrong, and how to use it as one of the most powerful trust-building tools you have — if you know what you're doing. Inside this episode: → Why avoiding conflict outside always creates conflict inside — and what that costs you long-term → The one move that disarms almost anyone in a heated moment (and why most people never learn it) → How to know if the story you're telling yourself about conflict is actually true — or just fear talking → Real conversations Laura has navigated — with a family member, a loan agent, and her own husband — and exactly how she did it → The three warning signs your nervous system sends before you lose control — and what to do the moment they show up Conflict doesn't have to break things. It can be the reason someone finally trusts you. But only if you know what you're doing. Start here. If you’re TRULY READY to become the CEO of your mind, check out the Challengers Circle - https://www.changebychallenge.com/challengers-circle [https://www.changebychallenge.com/challengers-circle]