Shame as Internal Violence:
 Eve, the Serpent, and the Original Sin of Self-Abandonment

Shame as Internal Violence:
 Eve, the Serpent, and the Original Sin of Self-Abandonment

What if shame isn’t just a feeling, but an internalized form of violence? January Jaxon and Andrew McRae explore a reading of Genesis 3 through the eyes of the victim, interpreting humanity’s Fall into sin as an inflicted wound, not a willful disobedience. Drawing a parallel between the anthropology of René Girard and the psychological model mapped by Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, they imagine a path beyond violence rooted in trust, integration, and the refusal to war against ourselves. You’ll hear: * Why we understand shame as a violence against ourselves * How Girard’s prohibition, sacrifice, and myth echo IFS managers, firefighters, and exiles — both stabilize identity by concealing violence * Why “perfect love casts out fear” might mean embrace, not expulsion * What the Trinitarian nature of God may show us about a way to be human without violence PLUS a “Letters from Unconditional Love” practice to build the habit of speaking with compassion instead of accusation. “Great banter and raw honesty. I didn’t expect a Christian podcast to give me ideas that could help me look inward at things I have avoided.”  —Candie Ideal for listeners interested in Girardian mimetic theory, Internal Family Systems as a spiritual practice, and emotionally healthy theology. Chapters: * (00:00) - Introduction * (01:02) - Presentation: Eve and the Internal Violence of Shame * (22:17) - Where have we experienced the violence of shame? * (35:43) - The difference between shame and humility * (44:23) - "Perfect love casts out all fear" * (51:13) - Mapping IFS parts with Girard's 3 characteristics of human religion * (01:08:02) - A brief history of the Doctrine of The Trinity * (01:24:58) -   The Trinity shows us how parts might work * (01:37:13) - The practice of "Letters from Unconditional Love" * (01:57:10) - End credits Click here to view this episode's transcript. [https://share.transistor.fm/s/0d8e851b/transcript] Theology Kills is exclusively listener-funded. Subscribe to us on Patreon for bonus audio, downloadable worksheets, and a friendly community to carry on the conversation. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ [https://www.patreon.com/TheologyKillsPodcast/] Note: This podcast is a personal exploration of theology, creativity, and human experience. January Jaxon and Andrew McRae are not medical or mental health professionals, and nothing in this podcast should be understood as medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Our discussions are general and are not a substitute for personalized care. If you need medical or mental health support, we encourage you to seek care from a qualified professional.

Creativity as Pregnancy:
 Sarah, Hannah, and Creating Love Instead of Violence

What if the Kingdom of Heaven isn’t a perfection to achieve but a gift to receive? January Jaxon and Andrew McRae unpack the Bible’s quietly subversive use of pregnancy as a metaphor for creativity — the vulnerable, sometimes-painful labor of bringing aliveness into the world. Contrasting Sarah’s violence with Hannah’s trust, the hosts follow Saint Paul in imagining a Kingdom born from cooperation instead of control. You’ll hear: * Why it’s a form of violence when we try to achieve God’s promises instead of receiving them  * Why Genesis 3:16 might not be about divine punishment, gender hierarchy, or marital submission * How Paul’s Christian conversion transformed his understanding of power from militant retribution into motherhood, birth pangs, and nursing * The important distinction between healthy receiving and harmful passivity PLUS a “mini-manifesto” exercise to help your creativity work toward your values — not against them. “This podcast helped me realize that it’s okay — it’s more than okay — to bring the ideas that most move us and interest us into conversation with our Christianity. I love the idea that we can play/be creative even in the area of our own theology.”  —Teresa Stone Ideal for listeners interested in Girardian mimetic theory, Internal Family Systems as a spiritual practice, and the theology of creativity. Chapters: * (00:00) - Creativity as Pregnancy: Sarah, Hannah, and Creating Love Instead of Violence * (01:38) - Presentation: The Biblical Metaphor of Pregnancy * (21:12) - What does Andrew find relatable about pregnancy? * (23:43) - From grief to promise in 1 Samuel 1 * (30:01) - Pregnancy as an interpretive frame * (37:57) - 100% receptive, 0% passive * (42:17) - What we mean when we talk about the Kingdom of God * (49:47) - Exegesis of 1 Timothy 2:8-15 * (55:51) - The mis-use of Saint Paul to subjugate women * (58:20) - "Lifting up holy hands without anger and dispute" * (01:00:31) - "A woman must learn in quietness and full submission" * (01:02:33) - "But she will be saved through the childbearing" * (01:05:31) - God's Gospel can undo misogyny from inside a misogynistic text * (01:09:20) - Would Paul have understood pregnancy as creativity? * (01:12:23) - Historical nuances to understanding "authority" * (01:16:44) - Historical context for "learning quietly" * (01:22:46) - "What is your life pregnant with?" * (01:32:43) - We don't have to know what we're pregnant with * (01:37:10) - The practice of making a Mini Manifesto * (01:51:48) - End Credits Click here to view this episode's transcript. [https://share.transistor.fm/s/578141bf/transcript] Theology Kills is exclusively listener-funded. Subscribe to us on Patreon for bonus audio, downloadable worksheets, and a friendly community to carry on the conversation. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ [https://www.patreon.com/TheologyKillsPodcast/] Note: This podcast is a personal exploration of theology, creativity, and human experience. January Jaxon and Andrew McRae are not medical or mental health professionals, and nothing in this podcast should be understood as medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Our discussions are general and are not a substitute for personalized care. If you need medical or mental health support, we encourage you to seek care from a qualified professional.

The Heroine’s Journey:
 Eve, Mary, and The Trap of Trying to Do It All “Right”

What if Christian faith isn’t about being correct, but about being creative? January Jaxon and Andrew McRae explore Maureen Murdock’s Heroine’s Journey through two of history’s most famous women: Eve, the mother of all, and Mary, the mother of Jesus. From the Fall to the Cross, they unveil a spiritual adventure that transforms shame, violence, and mimetic rivalry into trust, integrity, and creative power. You’ll hear: * A fresh theological reading of Eve and Mary * Why creativity — not correct behavior — brings love into the world * The 10 stages of the Creative Journey * Real stories about freezing in moments when love called us to act — and what it takes to become the kind of people who can say yes PLUS practices of Sabbath, stillness, and open-focus attention that make space for that shift to begin. “Honestly, I was skeptical — but this was lots of fun to listen to. Extremely relatable and a great chemistry/dynamic between the cohosts. This changed my idea of what a Christian podcast is.” —Matthew Gordon Ideal for listeners interested in Girardian theology, Internal Family Systems as a spiritual practice, and the theological legacy of women in Christian scripture. Chapters: * (00:00) - Introduction * (01:17) - Presentation: The Theology of The Heroine's Journey * (23:19) - Where do these ideas become experiences? * (32:35) - How can we move from paralysis to action? * (38:26) - The 10 Stages of the Creative's Journey * (44:21) - What's significant about Being? * (51:33) - Why do over-Doing and Gathering Allies go together? * (55:53) - How are obstacles a blessing?! * (01:00:17) - The social element of success * (01:02:36) - Can we actually practice awakening? * (01:06:15) - It's a Journey, not a destination * (01:09:47) - The role of Initiation * (01:17:24) - When yearning feels like dissatisfaction * (01:20:55) - Who's actually doing the Healing? * (01:25:48) - Broken trust and broken faith * (01:38:02) - When does our Doing get wounded? * (01:41:15) - Balancing Being with Doing * (01:50:33) - The practice of stillness, Sabbath, and open focus * (02:01:02) - End Credits Click here to view this episode's transcript. [https://share.transistor.fm/s/2a3d0932/transcript] Theology Kills is exclusively listener-funded. Subscribe to us on Patreon for bonus audio, downloadable worksheets, and a friendly community to carry on the conversation. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ [https://www.patreon.com/TheologyKillsPodcast/] Note: This podcast is a personal exploration of theology, creativity, and human experience. January Jaxon and Andrew McRae are not medical or mental health professionals, and nothing in this podcast should be understood as medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Our discussions are general and are not a substitute for personalized care. If you need medical or mental health support, we encourage you to seek care from a qualified professional.

Season 1 Trailer — Welcome to Theology Kills

Bad theology kills your soul.  Good theology kills what’s crushing your soul.  Welcome to Theology Kills, a podcast about letting our shame & violence die so that life & love can thrive.  You were never meant to feel like a problem to be fixed. You were made for joy, freedom, peace, belonging, and creativity. But creativity can be hijacked — mis-used to create shame and blame that keep you anxious, angry, and perpetually unmoored.  What if you could quit that toxic cycle? This season on Theology Kills, we’re looking at Christian scripture through the lens of Maureen Murdock’s Heroine’s Journey. This mythological framework sheds unexpected light on the stories of Eve and Mary, inviting us to consider that creativity, not correct behavior, is how God brings the Kingdom of Heaven to earth. As we follow these women from the fall of humanity to the foot of the Cross, we’ll reclaim discipleship as a creative adventure of trust, integrity, and vulnerability that transforms us into peacemakers, not just peacekeepers.  Each episode includes: — A theological insight that reads Scripture from a posture of wholeness and divine nonviolence — A conversation between the hosts where we wrestle with what that looks like in real life — A simple creative or contemplative practice to help you live it, not just think about it  “This is for anyone tired of facile answers to deep questions about relating to ourselves and relating to God. You’ll appreciate how January and Andrew articulate complex ideas with humor and grace. You're going to want to listen more than once! (I did!)” —Rev. Kari Reiten Theology Kills is exclusively listener-supported. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ [https://www.patreon.com/TheologyKillsPodcast/]