Gay God, Childhood Trauma, and Warm Jello with Matthew Lush

Gay God, Childhood Trauma, and Warm Jello with Matthew Lush

This week on Tongue First, Siren and Wendy welcome Matthew Lush — aka Gay God — one of the original LGBTQ+ internet personalities, a trailblazer who was turning webcams on in his bedroom and figuring it out in real time before anyone had a name for what he was doing. Matthew has been a presence on the internet for twenty two years. Before TikTok lives, before creator houses, before sponsorship managers and media training, Matthew was on MySpace posting pictures of himself and his boyfriend and accidentally becoming one of the first openly gay voices on the internet. It cost him friendships, his relationship with his parents, and years of death threats from strangers who couldn't stand to see him exist. He kept going anyway. Together, Siren, Wendy, and Matthew talk about what it actually cost to be visible online before queer visibility was celebrated, coming out at fourteen and being one of the first to do it on camera, the emotional weight of being a creator people turn to when they have nowhere else to go, what it means to forgive a parent who wasn't there when you needed them most, and how trauma has a funny way of turning into purpose. They also get into defining queerness, rainbow aesthetics and pride fatigue, Matthew being canonically a lesbian, and a passionate debate about whether pineapple belongs on mashed potatoes that ends exactly the way you'd expect. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, warm jello becomes a metaphor for something that we will not be explaining here. If you've ever felt like being yourself on the internet cost you something real — or if you just need to hear that keeping going is always worth it — this one is for you. Support the chaos and get access to bonus content, behind the scenes moments, and the Tongue First After Hours community over on Patreon. The link is in the show notes. Find Matthew Lush at MatthewLush.com [http://MatthewLush.com] and on TikTok at @MatthewLush [http://tiktok.com/@MatthewLush]. Follow the chaos on TikTok: @Sirenegade_440 [https://www.tiktok.com/@sirenegade_440] @Wendy6181981 [http://tiktok.com/@Wendy6181981] New episodes every Monday. Until next time — stay curious, stay queer, and don't forget to lick responsibly.

Polycules, Religious Deconstruction, and California Fries with Sylvie Savage

This week on Tongue First, Siren and Wendy welcome Sylvie Savage — trans woman, TikTok creator, relationship anarchist, and the person who will absolutely make you question every social construct you've ever accepted without thinking about it. Sylvie's story is not a straight line. It moves through Bible college, religious deconstruction, a marriage, three kids, a miscarriage, a bipolar diagnosis, leaving the church, realizing she was trans, and somehow landing in one of the most intentional, loving, and beautifully complicated relationship structures you'll hear described on this podcast. And she tells all of it with the kind of humor and clarity that makes you want to take notes and laugh at the same time. Together, Siren, Wendy, and Sylvie get into relationship anarchy and what it actually means, polyamory and how Wendy is very seriously considering canoodling in the polycule, what it looks like to raise kids inside a poly pan trans household, the difference between stereotypes and statistics, queer intentionality in relationships, and why being demi doesn't mean you're out of the running for any of this. Also: the AI masc lesbian trend, trans women's relationship with their bodies, a passionate discourse about Gia, Wendy being canonically 81 years old, and California fries as a life philosophy. If you've ever had to dismantle everything you were taught just to figure out who you actually are — this one is for you. Support the chaos and get access to bonus content, behind the scenes moments, and the Tongue First After Hours community over on Patreon. The link is in the show notes. Find Sylvie Savage on TikTok at @sylvie.enchantress [http://tiktok.com/@sylvie.enchantress]. Follow the chaos on TikTok: @Sirenegade_440 [https://www.tiktok.com/@sirenegade_440] @Wendy6181981 [https://www.tiktok.com/@wendy6181981] New episodes every Monday. Until next time — stay curious, stay queer, and don't forget to lick responsibly.

Sultry Stories, Sweat, and Sapphic Snacks with Jo Del Carmen

This week on Tongue First, Siren and Wendy welcome Jo Del Carmen — sapphic short story author, TikTok storyteller, and the author behind Women in Papercuts — a collection of true sapphic experiences written with the kind of tension that makes you want to turn down the brightness, light a candle, and get in touch with yourself. Jo brings her full self to the room. A queer Latinx woman who grew up in South Florida, spent seven years songwriting and performing, got shoved out of the closet by her brother, and has since been turning twenty four real experiences into some of the most searingly honest sapphic short fiction on the internet. Together, Siren, Wendy, and Jo talk about coming out, being outed, trauma bonding, and why youth group has always been a pipeline for gay people. They get into favorite sapphic books and movies — Foxfire, Gia, Imagine Me and You, and a very passionate defense of Aubrey Plaza. They talk about polyamory, how Jo's relationship opened up, how Siren's trifecta formed after New Orleans, and Wendy revealing for the first time that she's demisexual. Then the conversation turns toward the sapphic slow burn — why queer women connect so deeply through yearning, safety, and desire — and Jo reads an excerpt from her story Irresistible that will make you want to sit very still for a moment. Also: second puberty, beer pong in the oldest gay bar in the country, and sapphic snacks as a life philosophy. If you've ever felt desire before you had words for it, found yourself in a story someone else was telling, or just needed someone to remind you that safety and great sex are not mutually exclusive — this one is for you. Support the chaos and get access to bonus content, behind the scenes moments, and the Tongue First After Hours community over on Patreon. Find Jo Del Carmen on TikTok at @jo_author [tiktok.com/@jo_author]and grab her merch and more at linktr.ee/womeninpaperperks [http://linktr.ee/womeninpaperperks]. Follow the chaos on TikTok: @Sirenegade_440 [tiktok.com/@Sirenegade_440] and @Wendy6181981 [tiktok.com/@Wendy6181981] New episodes every Monday. Until next time — stay curious, stay queer, and don't forget to lick responsibly.

Phone Scams, Love Languages, and Spicy Group Chats

This week on Tongue First, Siren and Wendy are back for a solo episode that somehow covers everything from financial fraud to sapphic softness — with a spicy group chat in the middle holding it all together. Wendy kicks things off with a week from hell: a CheapOAir booking disaster and a phone scammer who smooth-talked her out of eighteen hundred dollars by pretending to be her bank. It's a cautionary tale, it's a PSA, and it's somehow also hilarious. Then the group chat comes up — nineteen people, daily titty pics, and a very consensual conversation that somehow leads into a deep dive on what sapphic relationships actually feel like from the inside. Tender eye contact, soft skin, the kind of connection that makes the rest of the world disappear. Wendy opens up about heartbreak, what four days of no contact actually costs you, and why she's done giving grace to people who won't stay consistent. Siren talks about losing nearly every friendship she had when she left the church, what it means to finally have found family that shows up with no strings attached, and why being desired — really desired — is something she didn't think was possible for her until recently. Also: lesbian fashion by era, the trans flag as a gender reveal, chokers as the unofficial trans woman uniform, and a brief but passionate debate about who the bigger lesbian actually is. If you've ever been scammed, loved someone who couldn't show up, needed to hear that you are worthy of being desired, or just wanted to sit with two people who will go from chaotic to tender and back again without missing a beat — this one's for you. Support the chaos and get access to bonus content, behind the scenes moments, and the Tongue First After Hours community over on Patreon. [https://www.patreon.com/TongueFirst] Follow the chaos on TikTok: @Sirenegade_440 [http://tiktok.com/@Sirenegade_440] @Wendy6181981 [http://tiktok.com/@Wendy6181981] New episodes every Monday.

Welcome to Tongue First: After Hours - Patreon Launch

This one is a little different. Siren and Wendy are taking a quick detour from the regular episode format to talk directly to the community about something they've been building behind the scenes — Tongue First: After Hours, the official Tongue First Patreon page, is live. In this bonus episode they break down all four membership tiers, what your support actually goes toward, and why they built this space in the first place. They also talk about the new website at tonguefirstpodcast.com [http://tonguefirstpodcast.com], give a sneak peek at merch that's coming soon — including the tote bag everyone keeps asking about and a very unexpected carabiner — and share a milestone number that genuinely blew them away. If you've been listening and wondering how to support the show, this episode is for you. And if you just want to hear Siren and Wendy be chaotic about streaming numbers — also for you. Head to tonguefirstpodcast.com [http://tonguefirstpodcast.com] or the link in bio to find the Patreon and everything else we're building. Follow the chaos on TikTok: @Sirenegade_440 @Wendy6181981 New episodes every Monday. Until next time — stay curious, stay queer, and don't forget to lick responsibly.