The Postpartum Nobody Warned Me About: On Birth Plans, Mom Guilt, and Control

The Postpartum Nobody Warned Me About: On Birth Plans, Mom Guilt, and Control

Amanda is officially six weeks into motherhood, and this episode is the unfiltered download. We get into the birth story: the unmedicated birth plan, the doula, the birthing classes, the epidural she swore she wouldn't need (and the moment she finally called for it). We talk about postpartum recovery, breastfeeding anxiety, mom guilt, and the specific kind of Instagram comparison spiral that comes with a newborn feed. We also talk about what nobody prepares you for: relinquishing control to a nanny who's better at soothing your baby than you are, the three-to-four-week mark where new-parent exhaustion put real strain on a marriage, and the slow, humbling process of loosening your grip when you're a self-described type-A perfectionist and your baby will not follow the plan. This is a conversation about birth plans versus birth reality, postpartum mental health, comparison culture for new moms, and what "everything will be okay" actually means when you're the one saying it to yourself at 3am. If you've ever been pregnant, are a new parent, or have simply been on the other end of someone else's birth story wondering what it's really like, this one's for you. Follow us: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod] Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX] Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269 [https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269]⁠ Website: ⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/ [https://www.tryingveryhard.com/]

Dance Saved Me: On the TCK Experience, Being Closeted, and Code-Switching (with Nakul Malik)

Why does it take a dance floor to feel like yourself? In this episode of Trying Very Hard, we sit down with Nakul Malik — a third culture kid born in Mumbai, raised in Jakarta, educated in Vancouver, now in Singapore — to talk identity, code-switching, and the room where he stopped editing himself: Bollywood dance. Nakul walks us through small adaptations — softening his own name, giving easier answers about where he's from, minimizing his culture for other people's comfort. Then the space that never asked that of him: a competitive university dance team, and later a school dance room, where he can be "gay, big energy, whatever it is" without being defined by any of it. We get into third culture kid identity, international schools shaped by Western norms, and coming out inside a dance community before anywhere else. We also ask the harder question: what do you do when the thing that lets you be fully yourself doesn't pay the bills? Nakul's take — a passion doesn't have to become your career to be worth protecting — might be the sharpest reframe here. If you've adjusted yourself for other people's comfort, or found one space where you finally didn't have to, come sit with us. Follow us: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod] Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX] Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269 [https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269]⁠ Website: ⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/ [https://www.tryingveryhard.com/]

Boobs & Beauty Standards: On Body Image, Insecurity, and Learning to Live in Your Body

Body image isn't one thing. It's the comment someone made when you were nine. It's the era you grew up in. It's comparing yourself to a friend who isn't growing a human right now. In this episode of Trying Very Hard, Amanda and Monica talk honestly about their own body image journeys — the beauty standards they inherited, the insecurities they carried quietly for years, and the ongoing work of making peace with a body that keeps changing. They get into body image and self-esteem, growing up with Asian beauty standards, the skinny-era of the early 2000s and who shaped it, how pregnancy changes the way you see yourself, the Ozempic conversation and what actually changed their minds about it, and what a healthy body image looks like when you stop trying to achieve it. No wellness gospel here. Just two best friends being specific about the weird, ordinary, sometimes funny ways they've been at war with their own bodies, and the small ways they've stopped. If you've ever had a complicated relationship with the body you're in, this one might feel familiar. Follow us: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠ [⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠] YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠ [https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠] Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX⁠ [https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX⁠] Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠ [https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠] Website: ⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/ [https://www.tryingveryhard.com/]

Building Your Own Modern Village: On Moving Countries, Burnout, & Belonging (with Alka Gupta)

Why is making friends as an adult so hard — especially when you've just moved somewhere new and don't know a single person? In this episode of Trying Very Hard, we talk to Alka Gupta, founder of Podium, about exactly that. And about the years of burnout, identity loss, and starting over that got her there. Alka shares the story of LinkedIn-messaging strangers for friendship, a Bumble BFF match that became her entire Jakarta circle, and what she calls building a "modern village" when the one you grew up with is gone. We also talk about the decision that changed everything — a 70% pay cut to join a startup she loved — and the founder burnout and layoffs that followed. Alka walks us through her practice of writing emails to her future self before big life decisions, and why "work-life balance" might be the wrong goal entirely — harmony, not balance, is what she's chasing now. If you've ever moved to a new city and had to build your social life from scratch, felt burnt out by something you used to love, or are quietly questioning whether "balance" is even real, come sit with us. Follow Alka: Podium Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/podium.women/ [https://www.instagram.com/podium.women/] https://podiumsociety.com/ [https://podiumsociety.com/] https://www.linkedin.com/in/alka-gupta-ag/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/alka-gupta-ag/] Follow us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/ [https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod [https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX [https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX] Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269 [https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269] Website: https://www.tryingveryhard.com/ [https://www.tryingveryhard.com/]

Stop Diagnosing Your Ex: How Attachment Styles & Love Languages Became a Trap

You've taken the quiz. You know your attachment style. You've told a date your love language. So why does it feel like none of it is actually helping? In this Monanda episode of Trying Very Hard, Amanda and Monica talk honestly about the attachment style and love language frameworks everyone's obsessed with, and why they think both are being used in exactly the wrong way. From diagnosing exes to weaponizing "You're avoidant" in arguments, to the way love language labels quietly let you off the hook for showing up creatively — we go there. We also get personal. Monica on becoming anxious in a relationship where she was otherwise completely secure. Amanda on chasing someone mid-argument despite knowing he'd asked for space. Both of them on what it actually felt like to have these labels used against them. The real conversation: you are not your attachment style. It's situational, it's dynamic, and most importantly, you're not stuck in it. If you've ever felt put in a box mid-argument, or quietly used a label to excuse someone else's behavior, this one will feel very familiar. Come sit with us. Follow us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/ [https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod [https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX [https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX] Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269 [https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269] Website: https://www.tryingveryhard.com/ [https://www.tryingveryhard.com/]