Unlocked

109 INTROVERTS, EXTROVERTS AND THE BALANCE OF AMBIVERSION WITH ASHLEY GRIFFITHS | WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR CONFIDENCE In this episode, Ricky Locke interviews Ashley Griffiths, a video expert and NLP practitioner. They discuss Ashley's struggle with being an ambivert, finding balance between introversion and extroversion, and the power of silence. They also explore the strengths of introverts and the importance of embracing growth and change. Ashley shares his journey of self-discovery and offers insights into how to connect with him. Takeaways * Being an ambivert means having both introverted and extroverted qualities. * Introverts can be excellent public speakers and have their own unique strengths. * Silence is powerful and allows for deeper processing and understanding. * Finding the balance between introversion and extroversion is an ongoing process. * Embracing growth and change is essential for personal development. Chapters 01:06 Introduction and Background 2:06 Discovering Ambiversion 034:18 Balancing Introversion and Extroversion 06:55 The Power of Silence 09:08 The Strengths of Introverts 10:41 Struggling with Finding Balance 13:06 Embracing Growth and Change 15:18 How to Connect with Ashley Find out more about Ashley and his podcast here https://ashv5.podbean.com/ Or head to https://subscribepage.io/Lm3DfV Patreon thanks! Shout out to the amazing Patron supporters for keeping this podcast going; thank you Ant Howe, Chloe Wilmot, Cheri Brenton, Steve McDermott & Rory Barnes! You are all amazing! Come Join the UNLOCKED community where you can receive... * Early access to episodes * Patron shout outs and recognition at the end of every episode * Exclusive backstage content and bonus episodes * Ask me anything - have your questions answered online * Shape the future of the podcast with your requests. * (Optional - become a sponsor of the show!) * Exclusive giveaways and HUGE Discounts off my online courses and so much more... To be a Patron and support the podcast just head to this link [https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast] or head to https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast I can't wait for you to be a part of this journey! Free Resources * FREE Ebook 10 SIMPLE STEPS TO SELL WITH CONFIDENCE [https://mailchi.mp/0d35be4cdc01/8hyymfp0m6] * FREE Ebook 10 tips to improve your productivity [https://mailchi.mp/fecf67ff6878/10-tips-to-improve-your-productivity] * Free Workbook : Understanding Your Values [https://drive.google.com/file/d/18hahQ2osX2InxaPGkhJ9gd0MgjeQEMIr/view?usp=sharing] * FREE EBOOK : Improve your confidence and create awesome videos with a smartphone [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/ebook] * Follow me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] & Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/RickyLockeMagic] at: @rickylockemagic [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] *  For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/] PODCAST MERCHANDISE!!! It's officially here! Woohoo! You can now buy your own UNLOCKED podcast notebook. The perfect addition to share your thoughts, ideas, and inspiration from the podcast. Available here! [https://www.amazon.co.uk/UNLOCKED-Ricky-Locke-Podcast-Notebook/dp/B08TK4MQX1/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ricky+locke&qid=1612290641&sr=8-1] A new episode is out every Wednesday. So make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on any episodes coming soon. And, if this episode brought some value to you, or even a smile, then please leave a review or a rating. That would be amazing! Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoy this episode and I'll join you next week for another episode of UNLOCKED! Ricky Locke (00:00.987) Hey, welcome to another episode of the mini series of the Unlocked conversation cards with the Diary of a CEO conversation cards. Today, I am joined with my good friend Ashley Griffiths. Hello, mate. How's it going? Ash (00:14.158) It's going fabulous. How about yourself Mike? Ricky Locke (00:16.763) Always fabulous, especially talking to another podcaster and video superstar media expert. My long list of words for you there, but yes, tell us a little bit about you and what is it that you do? Ash (00:31.054) Well, I quite like your intro actually. So, right. So what is it I do? Ultimately, I work with clients to get them out of their heads and out into the world. So dropping all the shoulds, all the musts, have to's, I need to be a guru, I need to sing, I need to dance. And I help them focus on who they are. what they're all about and then getting that across via video and out into the world so they can market their business and start attracting more of the sort of clients that light them up. Ricky Locke (01:06.427) I like that. Very nice. Very nice. Well, I'm looking forward to this one. So obviously we met through the wonderful van der Voel, sorry, I should say the van der Voel, Vaga, van der Voel, and through NLP because we're both NLP practitioners. So this will be a very interesting conversation. Are you ready for your question, Ashley? Ash (01:16.972) Yep. Yes, we are in date. Ash (01:25.71) Oh, I'm a little bit nervous, but let's do it. Let's do it. Ricky Locke (01:28.219) All right. Here we go. So your question is, what is the unobvious thing that you struggle with? Ash (01:38.7) Oh my life. Ricky Locke (01:39.195) What is the unobvious thing that you struggle with? Ash (01:42.702) The unobvious thing I struggle with. Ricky Locke (01:45.083) Yeah. Ricky Locke (01:48.571) Deep question that one. Ash (01:48.782) Okay. I suppose. Yeah. I think actually, I think the people are often surprised. Anyone who's met me, anyone who's been in a room with me, anyone who's seen my videos are often surprised to find out that I'm not a natural extrovert. I'm actually quite shy. Um, I recently discovered, well, recently, probably less two years ago that I'm an ambivert. Ricky Locke (02:10.243) Oh. Ricky Locke (02:18.829) Oh, okay. And just for clarity for listeners, what does that mean? Ash (02:19.278) So there are time. So I have both strong introverted and extroverted qualities. So that's why when you see me on video, if you see me in front of a class or a workshop, I'm bouncing around, I'm confident, I'm talking to everybody and all of that. But what you don't see is the next day I don't talk to anyone. Okay. So I need that space, but I also need. Ricky Locke (02:29.659) Okay. Ash (02:50.606) that environment where I can be social, where I can be around people, where I can be that center of attention and loud and bouncing around. Um, and I was just thinking about this yesterday actually, cause on Monday, um, one of my other hats that I wear is I work with kids that don't go to school. And Monday's quite a people -y day. So I'm talking to people from half nine in the morning. Ricky Locke (03:18.715) you Ash (03:19.566) all the way through until, yeah, seven o 'clock at night. And then on Tuesday, you're lucky if you get a word out of me until about four o 'clock in the afternoon. I literally just sit in a kind of daze until around lunchtime. And then I'm like, suppose I should probably talk to people again now. Ricky Locke (03:40.275) Nice, yeah. So interesting then. So where do you think that comes from then? Ash (03:47.118) What the ambivalent, I think I've always been quite insular in nature. I was always quite shy, but I was always fascinated with people. Always. And I liked observing and I liked sitting and I was often thinking, I'm not going to say anything unless I've actually got something worth saying. Um, so I, especially at school, I'd often sit, watch, and then whenever I was ready, I would pipe up. Um. But yeah, I was, I was very shy as a child. Very shy. Um, the work that I do now, all the public speaking I've done, if you'd have said that even to my teenage, possibly even to my 20 year old self, that I would be doing that, I'd have been like, shut up. There is no way I'm doing that in front of all those people. Nah, thanks. It was too, it was too high stakes. Um, so I think there was probably a self -esteem. Um, issue there for sure. Um, but over time, I think it just changes. I think you, I think one of the common misconceptions as well regarding that regarding introversion, extroversion, ambiversion, whatever is that to be a good public speaker, you need to be an extrovert. I think that's, that's some of the best public speakers in the world have been introverts. Um, so I think it's. Ricky Locke (05:04.539) Yeah. Ricky Locke (05:10.043) Yes. Ash (05:13.582) And also I think sometimes, you know, we live in a world that's determined to make everything binary. And it's just not that simple. I think we can flip between the two quite comfortably. I know I do. Ricky Locke (05:19.161) Yeah. Ricky Locke (05:23.131) Yeah. Yeah. Ricky Locke (05:28.187) Yeah, we have a belief in the Confident Club, same as you, that we believe some of the best speakers in the world are introverted people. But quite often the society norms is that you've got to be this great gregarious person on stage, you know, like Tony Robinson, you know, like, but actually it's the more measured approach, the people that have gravitas that can hold a room, you know, in the power of a pause. Ash (05:37.292) Hmm? Ash (05:43.246) Meh. Ash (05:50.7) Hmm. Ricky Locke (05:55.931) and taking people on a journey. Introverts, I think, are absolutely fantastic. So the fact that you have a balance, it's like a superpower. It's like your Clark Kent Superman, isn't it? I can kind of flick between the two. So that's a really good skill to have. Ash (06:09.838) I think again, yeah, with the, with the introversion, I like just kind of like come back to a point you said there about the silence, really the power of silence. I think we live in a society where that is being drastically diminished. Um, if you look at say social media with the way videos are put out, where you've got literally fit in your life story into a 30 second clip and the way that people edit that it's like, sounds like they're being bloody remixed. Ricky Locke (06:16.315) Yeah. Ricky Locke (06:39.611) Yeah. Ash (06:39.854) There's no room for the words to breathe. And, you know, purely from a processing power, a brain processing power, we need that time to let the words sink in and like figure out, okay, does this actually mean something to me? So silence is super powerful. I think in my teaching career, silence was crucial because sometimes teachers, I think like, okay, well, Ricky Locke (06:55.961) Yeah. Ricky Locke (07:00.555) Yeah. Ash (07:07.95) I asked a question nobody's answering. I'll go, Oh God, do I need to do something now? And it's like, no, let them think. Ricky Locke (07:14.139) Yeah, you, yeah, you've inspired me to think, I think about doing it. I do it like a video, like a podcast video. I sorry, like a little video on LinkedIn. I'm just sitting in front of the camera, not saying anything because the weight and the strength of what that could do to just be present in my own thoughts. But yeah, I mean, who was it? They were they, they are brilliant. They shared. great post which was the word listen and listen is is silent just the word silent just jumbled up into different letters I thought yeah that's right it's very powerful isn't it that wonderful pause and I love the idea of what you just mentioned there about the the two extrovert introvert that you can both achieve the silence on both parts Ash (07:46.188) Yeah. Ash (08:07.502) Absolutely. Ricky Locke (08:08.571) So it's kind of like, yeah, there's strengths in using both, isn't there? Interesting. Ash (08:13.134) Oh, massively, massively. I think again, it's the, with, with, uh, with say a public speaking or when, w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w Ricky Locke (08:28.409) Yeah. Ricky Locke (08:36.731) Yeah. Ash (08:41.902) You need to really emphasize that it's important to be listening right now. And even with the tone, the way that you're delivering that it's much more measured. And then there are times where you just going to get super excited because I really need to share this. And you know, you know that time when you know how it is when you get really excited about something, right? Absolutely. Absolutely. It really depends on. Ricky Locke (08:46.299) Yeah. Ricky Locke (08:58.331) Yeah, it's like cats and dogs, isn't it? From back on the NLP thing. Yeah, cats and dogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ash (09:08.11) It's fitting the right words and the right energy to whatever you're trying to deliver. Um, and yeah, there are times where I'll be bouncing around the room, super excited and talking a million miles an hour. And there's other times where it's like, right now we need to really focus. Ricky Locke (09:13.007) Yeah. Ricky Locke (09:26.203) Interesting then just to call back to the question. So what is the unobvious thing that you struggle with? So is it something because I'm not I'm not sure if it is something you struggle with or maybe I might be wrong, but I'm assuming that it's quite a nice balance for you. Or am I wrong? Is it something you really struggle with? Ash (09:32.364) Mm. Ash (09:41.838) The, no, the struggle is finding that balance. I think the, like, for example, say the, during the pandemic, for example, when I was just in this room, I mean, this was one of the reasons I started recording videos in the first place, because my extroverted side wasn't getting any love, wasn't getting any attention. There was no room. There were no people to entertain. There was no other energies in the room. Ricky Locke (09:46.843) Yeah. Ash (10:10.414) And that can be, that can be a struggle. And I've really had to work on a personal level, you know, when it can have an influence on say relationships, because, you know, there's certain people that want you to be there and present all the time. And I simply can't do that. And it's finding that it's finding that balance. You know, I, I usually like when I, when I meet people for the first time or I get into a kind of romantic relationship, I usually give them a disclaimer. It's not personal. This, I am likely to disappear. Um, it's not personal. I just need to decompress and, and that can be, I think some people, I, if they don't have that, it takes some. Ricky Locke (10:44.123) Hahaha. Nice, yeah, that's good. Yeah, don't think odd of me, this is just me, yeah. You Ricky Locke (11:05.209) Yeah. Ash (11:05.294) It takes a lot of conversations and awareness as well. And sometimes those conversations are hard and it's a learning process, but there are still times where it's learning to really pay attention to the signals and going out, you know, actually now time out, you've spent too much time here. So, so it's learning to find the schedule, learning to find the time. Um, so that's why like Tuesday mornings, for example, now I block them off. Ricky Locke (11:13.339) Yeah. Ricky Locke (11:22.137) Yeah, yeah. Ash (11:34.316) No one's booking a call with me. There's no sales cause there's no business. I get up when I get up on a Tuesday morning and I just, yeah, but that was a learning curve in the past. I would have just tried to crack on and in the end I've just ended up exhausted. Ricky Locke (11:50.363) Yeah, yeah. Wow. Well, knowing what you now know, obviously from this experience, from understanding about the, the obvious thing that you struggle with, what does this make you think and feel going forward? Ash (12:06.126) Oh, I like that. There was some NLP language patterns there as well, right? You just Milton'd me. Okay. Ricky Locke (12:14.875) Yeah. Ash (12:18.19) I'm right. So the, I think again, it's an ongoing process. I think the. I think for me, when you asked that question, I lean towards kind of fixed mindset, growth mindset, the kind of the work of Carol Dweck there and... Ricky Locke (12:40.771) Yeah. Ash (12:44.174) There's, I think there's sometimes this notion really that you are always the same and you're not changing, but that is both physically and physiologically not true. You are always changing. You are literally if 10 years from, if you go 10 years in the past, you are literally a different person biologically and mentally. Um, and I think there's that notion that you're always changing. Um, the... Ricky Locke (12:55.195) Yeah. Ricky Locke (13:04.603) Yeah. Ricky Locke (13:12.795) Yeah. Ash (13:13.742) What is true now might not be true in the future. What was true in the past is made might not be true now. Um, so I believe it's, it's all about having that awareness and figuring out, okay, how can I make this work? So like I said a minute ago about the knowing I need to take time off. I didn't know that in the past and maybe there's stuff to learn. Ricky Locke (13:16.955) Yeah. Ash (13:38.094) moving forwards. Like recently, for example, I knew I had to start doing more face to face work for the extroverted side, not online work, actually in a room with people. I, but you learn that by going through the process, the process we call life. Ricky Locke (13:53.115) Yeah,

108 UNOBVIOUS STRUGGLES AND ASKING FOR HELP WITH BEV HOLDEN | HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR CONFIDENCE In this episode, Ricky Locke interviews Bev Holden, co-founder of the Clear Thinking Partnership. They discuss the unobvious things that Bev struggles with, focusing on confidence and asking for help. Bev challenges the concept of confidence, stating that it is not a real thing and that she doesn't believe she needs it to accomplish tasks. She also shares her difficulty in asking for help in certain situations, often due to a fear of judgment or a desire to maintain a certain perception. The conversation highlights the importance of questioning societal conditioning and living in the present moment. Takeaways * Confidence is not a prerequisite for success; it is a concept that can be challenged and redefined. * Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it is an opportunity for growth and connection. * We create our own conditions and constraints in life, but we also have the power to question and change them. * Living in the present moment allows us to let go of past and future worries and focus on what truly matters. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to episode 01:00 Background 02:40 The Unobvious Thing: Confidence 05:21 Struggling to Ask for Help 10:57 Takeaways and Conclusion Find out more about Bev & Kate at Clear Thinking at https://www.clearthinkinguk.com/ Patreon thanks! Shout out to the amazing Patron supporters for keeping this podcast going; thank you Ant Howe, Chloe Wilmot, Cheri Brenton, Steve McDermott & Rory Barnes! You are all amazing! Come Join the UNLOCKED community where you can receive... * Early access to episodes * Patron shout outs and recognition at the end of every episode * Exclusive backstage content and bonus episodes * Ask me anything - have your questions answered online * Shape the future of the podcast with your requests. * (Optional - become a sponsor of the show!) * Exclusive giveaways and HUGE Discounts off my online courses and so much more... To be a Patron and support the podcast just head to this link [https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast] or head to https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast I can't wait for you to be a part of this journey! Free Resources * FREE Ebook 10 SIMPLE STEPS TO SELL WITH CONFIDENCE [https://mailchi.mp/0d35be4cdc01/8hyymfp0m6] * FREE Ebook 10 tips to improve your productivity [https://mailchi.mp/fecf67ff6878/10-tips-to-improve-your-productivity] * Free Workbook : Understanding Your Values [https://drive.google.com/file/d/18hahQ2osX2InxaPGkhJ9gd0MgjeQEMIr/view?usp=sharing] * FREE EBOOK : Improve your confidence and create awesome videos with a smartphone [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/ebook] * Follow me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] & Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/RickyLockeMagic] at: @rickylockemagic [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] *  For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/] PODCAST MERCHANDISE!!! It's officially here! Woohoo! You can now buy your own UNLOCKED podcast notebook. The perfect addition to share your thoughts, ideas, and inspiration from the podcast. Available here! [https://www.amazon.co.uk/UNLOCKED-Ricky-Locke-Podcast-Notebook/dp/B08TK4MQX1/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ricky+locke&qid=1612290641&sr=8-1] A new episode is out every Wednesday. So make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on any episodes coming soon. And, if this episode brought some value to you, or even a smile, then please leave a review or a rating. That would be amazing! Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoy this episode and I'll join you next week for another episode of UNLOCKED! Transcript Ricky Locke (00:00.61) Hello and welcome to another episode of the mini series of the Unlocked Conversation Cards with the diary of a CEO Cards, where I interview a guest and ask them a question. I'll have a deep dive and connection with them today. I've got a very special friend. I've mentioned this wonderful lady on the podcast many, many times, but welcome again. I think second, third time, maybe. I'm not sure, but welcome to the show. Bev Holden, how are you? Bev (00:24.283) Thank you very much. I'm really good, thank you. Thank you for having me. Again. Ricky Locke (00:27.37) Oh, good to see you again. And I feel like we have many conversations like this. It feels like just like a normal office meeting. Bev, tell the listeners if they haven't heard of you, who are you and what do you do? Bev (00:39.071) Yeah, so I am Bev Holden. I'm half of the Clear Thinking Partnership. We make people think by what we do, so we facilitate and we coach. And when I say we, it's me and my partner, Kate. And we've been doing what we do since 2007. And we are approaching our 17th birthday on Thursday. So, cards, candles, fanfares. Thank you very much. Ricky Locke (01:02.658) Happy birthday. Yeah. Happy birthday. Well, yeah. Have a wonderful time. Make sure I have some cake. Bev, as part of the series, the ideas I'm going to ask you a question. And for clarity, you have no idea. Well, this question is we've not prearranged anything before this. Bev (01:07.587) Thank you. Bev (01:17.343) No, is that like one of those tricks where you say, I don't know you, do you, and would you like to pick a card? Yeah, okay. But no, genuinely, and I've never seen the card, so this is a complete mystery. Ricky Locke (01:20.53) I'll pay you later. Yeah. Ricky Locke (01:27.218) There was a big smile on your face like, should I say yes or no? Okay. All right. Bev, here is your question. Are you ready? What is the unobvious thing that you struggle with? Bev (01:30.155) What? Bev (01:33.728) Yes. Bev (01:40.071) Oh my goodness, what is the un- Who asked that question? Ricky Locke (01:44.35) It was Max Lugavere. I couldn't tell you who that is though. Unfortunately, I'm not sure. Bev (01:48.835) What is the unobvious thing? Ah, okay. Okay, so the unobvious thing. So it is something that... So it's not a real thing because I don't actually believe it's a real thing, but it's a thing that people talk about quite often and it is confidence. So the reason I say it's not a real thing is I don't think I need confidence nor does anyone else to be able to do something. It's kind of a made up concept. But I noticed that... people will say that they see me as being very confident in certain situations and that they are not. So they're fearful of certain situations that don't feel as though they could handle it, but they see me doing it. And their assumption is that I don't feel, we'll call it lacking in confidence or wobbly or unsure or anything. So I think probably that's the first thing that springs to mind because I wouldn't say but I notice it sometimes. And it's one of those things that it's not a debilitating thing at all. And I don't acknowledge that it exists. And actually that's been a really good strategy for me. So, you know, when people say, and you probably come across this quite a lot in the work that you do, and people say, I'm nervous or I haven't got enough confidence to do that, particularly in presenting and speaking. And I have never ever, apart from once, acknowledged that might be a thing for me. And so it's not become a thing, which I think is just, it's really interesting how our brains work around this stuff and how we turn the thing that we think into something that is real and we act as if it's true. So it's not so much a struggle thing, but it is just something that I notice and it catches me unawares. So I will be doing something that I'm really ordinarily sure of and then I just have a sensation or a feeling and it would be very easy to misinterpret that feeling and think that it's a bad feeling but more often than not I get it right and I interpret the feeling well so it doesn't get in the way of me doing what I do. I'm just thinking if there's anything else that I ask me the question again. Ricky Locke (04:08.234) Yeah, sure. Yeah. What is the unobvious thing that you struggle with? Bev (04:16.819) Mmm. Gosh. Ricky Locke (04:21.197) It's a different one, that one, isn't it? Bev (04:23.187) It is a tough one. And so I also think it might be contextual. So there are situations I think where I maybe find it difficult to ask for help if I'm struggling with something. Interesting, the struggle word, that was in the question. But if I am finding something difficult, depending, there are some situations where I have almost a default reaction, where I go, ah. this is a time to ask for help from other people who may know better or have more experience to share or who I can just rely on and lean on. And then there are some situations where I think, oh, probably people would expect me to be able to handle that and so I shouldn't ask. And it's that whole thing of maintaining a perception that people might have of you. But it's not true. And it's much easier to go through life, I think, without all those masks on. but I don't always remember that. It's all very well thinking you know what the dream is, but living the dream is something different. So I think that might be something. So asking for help at the right, asking for help consistently and being interested in what the people see that I can't see in myself. Ricky Locke (05:37.838) Hmm Ricky Locke (05:44.99) Yeah, particularly what is it about asking for help that is the struggle? Bev (05:55.159) I think it is maintaining that perception, you know that judgment that we often do to ourselves where we think, oh I should know better, I should know this. It's not even necessarily that I think other people will think, because I'm a terrible mind reader, I think most of us are. So I can't possibly imagine what it is that somebody is going to be judging me on. But it's that I think that's the thing. thought that creeps in and it's the, I should know better, I should know how to do this. And that is probably the thing that stops me from asking for help. But it is an interesting question because it's making me think about times when I've rushed into going, right, help me now, I'm stuck, I'm struggling, I don't know what to do. And people's response is always so helpful and so encouraging. Ricky Locke (06:32.535) Yeah. Bev (06:50.955) that there's never any need to say that you can't, to believe that you can't ask for help. Ricky Locke (06:56.654) Does that come to a surprise then, when people are so eager to help you? It's like, well, why was I worrying about this, asking for help when people are so actively wanting to help? Bev (07:07.792) Yeah, I still think it's conditional though. It's conditional on me not judging myself first. But it's a lovely surprise and I think it's something that I know is true because people, humans like being asked to help other humans. I think we're wired generally to be helpful. And also I think... It's great to feel that you can be somebody else's superhero. There was that bit of research, wasn't there, about people who do good deeds for others, get that real superhero sense in themselves. So it's not just we're totally generous and giving, we actually get something in return from that, apparently, self-affect. Yeah, it makes us feel good. And I think it's about human connection and... Ricky Locke (07:47.102) Yeah, it makes us feel good. Bev (07:54.667) And vulnerability, it takes us down that path of thinking about being vulnerable and how that endears us to other people because then you're a lot more accessible and people don't feel as though you're quite so unattainable. Ricky Locke (08:09.234) Yeah, totally. Yeah. There's a whole thing, isn't it? And I totally get that what you said about conditioning society, the way we're brought up, suck it up, Ricky, you know, or those sort of things. It is challenging, isn't it? Especially if you're in a very low point as well, where you might not have the courage to ask for help, because it's difficult situation that you're in. And that's, that can be a huge struggle. Yeah. Bev (08:34.911) Yeah, and if you're carrying around a judgment where you think it's weak to ask for help. So, so I think that probably is a thing that people, because I think I do talk to people quite often about just, you know, who around you could help you, you know, ask those people for help, who have you got in your network, who are the people at your table who support you. And yet, as with many of us, or even just speaking for myself, it's not always easy to take your own medicine. Ricky Locke (08:39.135) Yeah. Ricky Locke (09:04.865) Yeah. Bev (09:05.571) That's actually why I love doing the work that we do because often the stuff that we say and the stuff that we think when we're supporting someone else is often really good advice for ourselves and we're surrounded by that all the time so we have lots of opportunity to challenge our own assumptions don't we and to think of things differently. Ricky Locke (09:15.893) Yeah. Ricky Locke (09:21.302) Definitely. Well, this is exactly why like I love doing the podcast because talking to people like yourself, guests that come on, you're also I'm telling my own subconscious as well. Oh, yeah, God, yeah, I should go to that, shouldn't I? Yeah. Well, I love that, but thank you for sharing that. So a final question, then. So thanks for sharing your wonderful things there. And a question that you might know this language. But for the listeners listening, obviously, from taking this experience and maybe resonating with that, in a confidence, out of confidence balance and Bev (09:32.247) You Yeah. Ricky Locke (09:50.306) the struggling to ask for help. But what would you want our listeners to think and feel from this experience? Bev (09:57.951) Oh gosh, I think that actually the big thing, and it's one big thing, oh no, there might be two things, there always is, isn't there with me? The first one is there is no requirement, there is no requirement on any of us to do anything other than just live a life. And the only rules that exist are rules that have been made up by us or for us. And that's to your point about conditioning. Ricky Locke (10:06.754) Hehehehe Bev (10:23.887) And we create our own conditions and other people create conditions for us. And that's how we sometimes accidentally live. And I think conversations like this help us to sort of jolt us out of that sleep walk and to start to think, Oh, actually, do I, are they the conditions that I want to have in place? Cause what if there weren't any, and people talk about living a life that's free and being complete freedom. And of course, immediately you think, yeah, but there's loads of constraints. Cause. you know, we run a business, I have to earn money, and the kids have to go to school, and then there's university, and blah, and responsibilities, and this, that, and the other. But they're all conditions that we've created for ourselves. So there is no requirement on any of us, and that's really freeing. And whilst I think that's true, I don't always remember that in the moment. And the other thing is that whilst we're imagining all of these moments where we might not feel confident, or we can't ask for help, or whatever our particular struggle is, the only thing that really exists is... reality, it's the moment that I'm in right now and that you're in right now. So nothing else exists. And what we have a habit of doing is piling in loads of things from the past and the future and our imagined anticipated future and our remembered past. And thinking that that's all real somehow. And none of it is, it's not happening. It happened or it's going to happen, but it's not happening now. And I think that gives me the opportunity to be really clear in the moment more often than not. Ricky Locke (11:50.378) Love that. Beautiful. That is very profound. I love that. And then so simple and so true as well. It is, isn't it? It's absolute that we are. Putting our own constructs in our lives because we get to choose, don't we, at the end of the day? But so many people out there hurt and struggling because of the barriers and constructs we're putting in our life are very profound. Thank you, Beth. Bev (11:51.711) Not always. Ricky Locke (12:16.162) Thank you for coming on to the mini series of the conversation cars. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you. Bev (12:20.515) I did. Thank you so much for having me. Thanks, Wiki. Ricky Locke (12:22.318) Thank you.

107 EMBRACING WONDER AND AMAZEMENT IN LIFE WITH THE DIGITAL CIRCUS LIFE PODCAST | LIVING A LIFE ALIGNED WITH YOUR VALUES This week, I'm shaking things up by sharing an episode where I was the guest on The Digital Circus Life podcast. I share my journey of breaking free from a small village mindset and pursuing a fulfilling life of wonder and amazement. We discuss the desire to be on stage and make a difference in people's lives. We emphasise the importance of learning, taking action, and embracing failure as a learning process. We talk about living a life aligned with our values and constantly striving for growth. I also reflect on the idea that there is no defined endpoint in this journey, but rather a continuous pursuit of a fulfilling life. Takeaways * Embrace a mindset of wonder and amazement in life * Don't be afraid to fail, as it is a learning process * Live a life aligned with your values and prioritize fulfilment * Constantly strive for growth and be open to new opportunities * There is no defined endpoint in the pursuit of a fulfilling life Chapters 01:00 Breaking Free from a Small Village Mindset 03:49 Creating a Fulfilling Life of Wonder and Amazement 10:31 Embracing Failure as a Learning Process 15:40 Living a Life Aligned with Values 32:11 Reflecting on the Journey and Encouraging Younger Self Find out more about Yellow Tuxedo and about building your online ecosystem. 👉https://www.yellowtuxedo.co.uk/so-you... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGFXUmpNanpjU3gyZURRMUNlS3Z0Vi1vS2kwd3xBQ3Jtc0trWkQ2LUhMVGJkbThWQmJMRV9BXzhBZFpGOTBqZHZ5NkZnX2xOZjhuUncxamFvUTl5V0dRZ2xteFdCckpSb0M1eTFrdGM0dVhNNEVRMlBMQ3JkVGdJUS14SVdxcnBQQkItSDVTMHFjOTZ4ZnVJV29aaw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.yellowtuxedo.co.uk%2Fso-you-want-to-create-an-online-ecosystem%2F&v=CTcC4ZaEvBQ] 💛Get the YT newsletter in your inbox 👉https://www.yellowtuxedo.co.uk/stay-i... [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqblVVeVNOdF9fa1lTSXVPeXhyWGg5RTNOOUptQXxBQ3Jtc0trQWxncDk2aUVUUFJKTVYzNXBCVW1iZTh4WTlYVi1ORXVCcURDSC1UYjZDY3pxZjdLVGhKM0xvOXR0azNjb0w1b0ZYaWNhX1VFRkJpbU81aTdid3dKbm1sMDM2cEZodVBodWRpSGd1MTlXMkFDRTNSaw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.yellowtuxedo.co.uk%2Fstay-in-touch%2F&v=CTcC4ZaEvBQ] Patreon thanks! Shout out to the amazing Patron supporters for keeping this podcast going; thank you Ant Howe, Chloe Wilmot, Cheri Brenton, Steve McDermott & Rory Barnes! You are all amazing! Come Join the UNLOCKED community where you can receive... * Early access to episodes * Patron shout outs and recognition at the end of every episode * Exclusive backstage content and bonus episodes * Ask me anything - have your questions answered online * Shape the future of the podcast with your requests. * (Optional - become a sponsor of the show!) * Exclusive giveaways and HUGE Discounts off my online courses and so much more... To be a Patron and support the podcast just head to this link [https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast] or head to https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast I can't wait for you to be a part of this journey! Free Resources * FREE Ebook 10 SIMPLE STEPS TO SELL WITH CONFIDENCE [https://mailchi.mp/0d35be4cdc01/8hyymfp0m6] * FREE Ebook 10 tips to improve your productivity [https://mailchi.mp/fecf67ff6878/10-tips-to-improve-your-productivity] * Free Workbook : Understanding Your Values [https://drive.google.com/file/d/18hahQ2osX2InxaPGkhJ9gd0MgjeQEMIr/view?usp=sharing] * FREE EBOOK : Improve your confidence and create awesome videos with a smartphone [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/ebook] * Follow me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] & Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/RickyLockeMagic] at: @rickylockemagic [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] *  For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/] PODCAST MERCHANDISE!!! It's officially here! Woohoo! You can now buy your own UNLOCKED podcast notebook. The perfect addition to share your thoughts, ideas, and inspiration from the podcast. Available here! [https://www.amazon.co.uk/UNLOCKED-Ricky-Locke-Podcast-Notebook/dp/B08TK4MQX1/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ricky+locke&qid=1612290641&sr=8-1] A new episode is out every Wednesday. So make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on any episodes coming soon. And, if this episode brought some value to you, or even a smile, then please leave a review or a rating. That would be amazing! Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoy this episode and I'll join you next week for another episode of UNLOCKED! Ricky (00:00.078) My life was very much a case of, and no offence to my mum and dad at all, it was very much a case of a small village mindset of, you'll go to school, Ricky. They didn't say you won't achieve much, but university wasn't on the cards, because the money wasn't there. It would be like, Ricky, you might go to school. You've got to get a job, Ricky. You've got to get some money. And I could see my life being played out in that way of, it'll be very small, in a sense, comfortable. And I was always the, why? I don't like that. When we first met Ricky Locke on Instagram, we knew he was someone we wanted to be involved with. This was about three or four years ago now. And ever since that, we've done quite a lot of projects together. So it was fascinating today when chatting to him to hear things we'd never heard before. The desire to be on stage, to perform, to entertain people started at a very, very young age when no one else in his family was a performer or doing anything like that. And how... He wants to fail. He's happy to fail. For him, it's just a learning process. And for someone who truly believes that, it was fascinating to kind of hear that perspective. If you've never met Ricky before and you don't know who he is, then his links are in the description below. And if you're new here and you're watching this for the first time, please do subscribe to our channel. It means so much to us as a small business, as we grow and we're trying to achieve what we're trying to achieve. Thank you so much for watching. Please allow me to introduce you to... Ricky Locke. Right, Ricky, you know I'm one of your biggest fans. We've known you since pretty much the beginning of the Yellow Tuxedo adventure. So it's real privileged to get to talk to you today on the Digital Circus Live podcast, but we have to start at the beginning. And the beginning for everyone is we're trying to understand what you're trying to achieve, whether it be for your personal life or your business, or the blend of both of them together, life. What are you trying to achieve at this point? At this point? At this point? It's a fantastic question. Amazing question. So what I'm trying to achieve. Well, I guess there's a plethora. There you go. Nice word there. Plethora of different things. Loads of different things to achieve. I think in the last two or three years, it's probably niching it down into something that's wholesome, that's fulfilling, that... Ricky (02:20.686) creates wonder. The biggest thing I think every day is that, and we've mentioned this before about this question, is this action going to produce the outcome I'm looking for? So everything I do, I have to ask myself that question, but I just have this massive, you know, a bit like a glass thing, you know, the glass, is it fill in my cup? You know, I think that's everything I'm trying to achieve. So whatever it is that I do, whether it's, you know, interactions in life, whether it's personal life, business, magic, confident club. is it filling my cup? And if it isn't, then it's not part of that achievement in life really. So I think that there's a lot of things that I could kind of digress and go on further. But the main thing really, I think is to achieve just this fulfilling life of amazement and wonder. And, you know, I think one of my things I'm very conscious of is that I am, you know, I'm in my early 30s and I'm very, so old. Yeah. I'm very impatient because I'm a millennial, you know, I grew up with the world of, you know, internet and everything. So I'm very impatient. I want things fast now, you know, that kind of thing, because I don't know where life will be. So I do try to, you know, make everything intentional, the old 4 ,000 weeks, you know, of an average human life. So everything I try to do, I guess, to achieve, your answer question would be a fulfilling life. Yeah. So would you say your cup is a pint glass or a shot glass? I think we know the answer already. I'd like to say it'd be like a porn star martini glass. That'd be quite fun. Exotic. That is way cooler, isn't it? Yeah. It doesn't take too much to fill it up. There we go. No. You know what? I read this. So obviously with my daughter, I read this. Is it the Fox, the Mole by Charlie magazine? Oh, the boy and the horse. Yeah. With an Oscar as well as the video version. That's right. Yeah. And I think one of the questions was, is I think the horse says to the little boy, is your... glass half full or half empty and the boy says, I think I'm just grateful to have a glass. It's great, isn't it? You know, like I think I can't remember the answer, the question now, but what was your question, Emily? There we go. I was getting off the side track. It was how big was your cup? I was going to say who cares? Just tell us what you want to tell us Ricky. We're enjoying listening. Yeah. Do you know what? I think, I think the cup never ends and I think that's because my interesting life, I'm sure it, I think it's a polymath. Ricky (04:43.726) is the word I've correct me if I'm wrong. Maybe you can edit that in if not. I think a polymath is somebody that is just interested in everything. Yeah, I'm fascinated with the wise and and the house of everything. So I think when I look back in my life and everything I've ever done with with magic, with playing instruments, with doing things and just learning stuff, I'm on this massive journey about learning. I love learning, I love growing. So I'm always interested in things. You know, curiosity, I think, is a massive value to me. So I think this cup is just growing all the time as I get older. Who knows, maybe it will get to the point where I turn 60, 70, and then, you know, like old people just put the sign on the door saying, do not disturb, do not talk to me. Maybe that'll be it. That's my question. In the pursuit of filling up your cup, which from the kind of high level feels very good, fulfilling purpose, direction and everything else. But also that means you're taking action all the time. That means you're trying to find things to fill your cup. And that means actually who's designed, you know, you have said it's a porn star, Mark Seeley, a bottomless brunch. This is bottomless, Ricky. So, so how do you know when you've achieved it? So one of the things about goals we all know is you need to be able to benchmark it. You need to be able to know when you're achieved it. So how, when does that stop? I mean, you've just talked about being old and shut in the door. So are you ever going to have achieved it? Yeah. So this goes back to, I remember like back in. corporate days before I went full time in the business. We did this like define your purpose day, you know, which I think is incredible. You know, it's a really good thing. And one of the key things like they get to do is like a timeline of like key moments in your life that you remember. And one of the moments that I think very similar to you, this will be Alan, is that some of the key moments in my life was always in front of an audience. So as a very young person, I play music, you know, I play guitar in my room. I'd learn. And weirdly enough, when like If like someone knocked on the door, like an electrician or someone like to come in, I remember I'd like crank up the volume a little bit louder, you know, a little bit loud to play. And it wasn't as a narcissistic thing to like show off. It was kind of like, oh my God, you know, I'm in front of an audience, that kind of thing. I want to show how amazing like things we can do, you know, like playing guitar and stuff. Funny enough, that electrician came around quite a lot, actually. But anyway, a long story short, yeah. But another one was like, you know, I remember winning the talent show when I was about Ricky (07:10.638) 15, 16. And I love that adrenaline being in front of an audience. And I remember when I was in my corporate days being a coach and a trainer, national trainer for Argos and being in front of an audience. Magic. I'm in front of an audience. The Compton Club, we present people. And I remember distinctly, you've just made me think about it, laying on my bed when I was younger, I had a magazine called Total Guitar. And there was a big... Thank God he said Total Guitar and not something else there. Yes. Total Guitar. There was this big spread right in the middle and you could pull it out. And it was a black and white photo. Now in hindsight, I'm guessing now, I don't know who it was at the time, but I'm thinking it was probably Kurt Cobain, like from Nirvana. And it just looked like the back of him standing on stage, probably in front of Reading Festival, just seeing this audience. It was black and white phone. I used to have it on the roof of my bedroom. So when I was laying down, I could look at it. And from an early age, I think there's always been that sort of a kind of legacy, I think, that what I want to do is to, not narcissistically, but to make a difference to people. So whether that is, a magic trick creates wonder, whether it's like the Confident Club, we're reshaping and redefining people's beliefs so they not only can be confident presenters, but they can go achieve anything they want in their life. There's been something like that that's threaded through the answers to the question of what is I'm trying to achieve. It's being on a stage, but making a difference. So whether that is a video, a podcast, that's the thread that just kind of fits through it all, which if you look at everything I do, it's always in front of an audience. So. Yeah, that's probably what it is. I think. Yeah, I get that. And I also sorry, just because the question was how you're going to know when you've got there. Oh, yeah. And I think I think it's okay sometimes to perhaps not know that answer because that that may, you know, as you quite rightly said in the beginning, the earlier part is like you might just wake up one day and go, yeah, I'm done. I'm happy. I'm fine. Not I'm happy. I can't say that. You know, I'm done is probably a better word or I'm there or something like that. So I get that. There's a thousand thoughts off the back of that. Yeah, there's a massive presupposition which we know like in NLP and I've had this through my life before I understood what NLP was and it was there's no failure only feedback or you can say there's no such thing as fair as only outcomes and am I allowed to swear on this or not? Do we have to bleep this one out? Yeah. Okay cool. A mild swear word perhaps? I'll say and you can cut it out if you like after so remember this point. We're not doing any C -bombs are we? No, no, no C -bombs. Okay, that's fine. Alright fine, I might bleep it. So... Ricky (09:31.406) The word fear, right? Yeah. Fantasize exaggerations appearing real was what Steve told me from the Compton Club. It's a great story. Fuck everything can run. You know, that's the great phrase, which I love. So you might have to cut that out, but I don't really believe in fear. Yeah, there's things that might frighten me, but I'm just not afraid to like go do things badly because I know I learn. So, you know, I'm quite happy that it's not a failure. It's just an outcome. So I've kind of removed failure from my language. You know, my mom and dad have always said to me, We've got no idea what Ricky, why you're a performer because there's no performance bone in our bodies. You're right. So, you know, you like the odd one out. So maybe it was the electrician. Who knows? Right. You know, one of the key things though is that it's just kind of I just want to go out there and I'm not afraid to fail. Whereas I think a lot of people are like, I don't want to do this. I'd love to achieve these wonderful things in life, but they're just not prepared to put in the time to go do something and fail. So if I remove failure from a language, then it's just an outcome. So. So that's the kind of key thing really. Yeah, I probably don't know when it's going to happen, but I'm not afraid to make a mistake or do something because it's just an outcome and I can learn from it and then try it differently. So yeah. What I've always appreciated about you, Ricky, is that you mentioned about that you're always learning and you're always trying to fill your cup. It's the fact that in the four years nearly that we've known you, I've watched that journey of you going on and learning a new course or... reading that book and so many people could say I read a self -help book or I saw this and they can drop a quote here and there but you actually implement don't you you're very much about learning and an implementation to see if it works for you and if it doesn't it's fine but you do give it a really good go don't you? Yeah totally I think I will get to a point one day where someone said to me Rookie should be a business coach but I think I think I It's like I want to kind of be, you know, like a leader would go out and do it. Like I will go out there and do it first so I can understand if it works. And then I'll show you that it does work and you can follow me. Whereas I think a lot of people just are not prepared to step out and try it. Whereas I'm quite happy to go try it and then say, Hey, it works. And now go do this. So here's some, it works. It's an incredible character trait. It's semantics ultimately, but I feel that's more the mentor side than coaching side. It's like, Ricky (11:47.758) Isn't mentor like I've done it and I'm showing you how to and coaching is, you know, something I get that. It really is a good character trait because so many people, especially in the world of entrepreneurship as well, are either standing still or they're not growing any further and they want that growth. They want it, but they're

106 HOW TO BE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF WITH ALAN BRAITHWAITE OF YELLOW TUXEDO | THE DIARY OF A CEO CONVERSATION CARDS In this mini series of The Diary of a CEO conversation Cards, Ricky Locke and Alan Braithwaite discuss the common misconceptions people have about Alan and how it makes him feel. They explore the importance of being authentic and prioritizing fun in social situations. They also discuss the expectations people have of public figures and the responsibility to be polite and genuine. The conversation highlights the power of making a positive impact on others and spreading positivity in everyday interactions. Takeaways * Be authentic and prioritize fun in social interactions. * Recognize and challenge misconceptions about yourself. * Understand the expectations people may have of public figures. * Spread positivity and make a positive impact on others. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Tone 01:07 Question: Common Misconception About Alan 03:02 Being Authentic and Prioritizing Fun 05:27 Adapting to Different Social Situations 08:29 Misconceptions and Expectations 10:52 Authenticity and Responsibility 12:31 Expectations of Public Figures 16:00 Impact and Significance 18:59 Desired Impact on Listeners 21:39 Spreading Positivity and Making a Difference 21:45 Conclusion Patreon thanks! Shout out to the amazing Patron supporters for keeping this podcast going; thank you Ant Howe, Jasmine Barnes, Chloe Wilmot, Sara Kay, Cheri Brenton, Steve McDermott, Chris Lovett & Rory Barnes! You are all amazing! Come Join the UNLOCKED community where you can receive... * Early access to episodes * Patron shout outs and recognition at the end of every episode * Exclusive backstage content and bonus episodes * Ask me anything - have your questions answered online * Shape the future of the podcast with your requests. * (Optional - become a sponsor of the show!) * Exclusive giveaways and HUGE Discounts off my online courses and so much more... To be a Patron and support the podcast just head to this link [https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast] or head to https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast I can't wait for you to be a part of this journey! Free Resources * FREE Ebook 10 SIMPLE STEPS TO SELL WITH CONFIDENCE [https://mailchi.mp/0d35be4cdc01/8hyymfp0m6] * FREE Ebook 10 tips to improve your productivity [https://mailchi.mp/fecf67ff6878/10-tips-to-improve-your-productivity] * Free Workbook : Understanding Your Values [https://drive.google.com/file/d/18hahQ2osX2InxaPGkhJ9gd0MgjeQEMIr/view?usp=sharing] * FREE EBOOK : Improve your confidence and create awesome videos with a smartphone [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/ebook] * Follow me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] & Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/RickyLockeMagic] at: @rickylockemagic [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] *  For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/] PODCAST MERCHANDISE!!! It's officially here! Woohoo! You can now buy your own UNLOCKED podcast notebook. The perfect addition to share your thoughts, ideas, and inspiration from the podcast. Available here! [https://www.amazon.co.uk/UNLOCKED-Ricky-Locke-Podcast-Notebook/dp/B08TK4MQX1/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ricky+locke&qid=1612290641&sr=8-1] A new episode is out every Wednesday. So make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on any episodes coming soon. And, if this episode brought some value to you, or even a smile, then please leave a review or a rating. That would be amazing! Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoy this episode and I'll join you next week for another episode of UNLOCKED! Transcription Ricky Locke (00:00.785) Welcome back to another episode of the Unlock podcast in my mini series where I dive deep into the diary of a CEO conversation cards to unlock some deeper levels of connection. And today I've got a great friend and a returning guest, Mr. Alan Braithwaite. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (00:16.594) Thank you, mate. Love being like this doesn't feel like a podcast I'm just having a chat with my mate Ricky. Do you know what I mean? And if it's just fab to be with you as always Ricky Locke (00:22.035) Yeah, I know. Well, as my brain was going, just going to go off the cuff here and introduce, and I'm brave about it, I felt like then I need to probably post edit this and go, explosions there, you know? I think, yeah. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (00:32.934) Always explosion. Is there anyone who doesn't need more explosions in their day to day? Surely we all do Ricky Locke (00:38.409) Well, I agree. Yeah. Especially on a Thursday morning when, like we said, we could do a bit more energy, right? Anyway, Alan, as the premise is, we've got a question for you selected for you. Now, obviously you have no understanding, no awareness of what this is about. You got literally no idea. So, and that's just off the cuff. Yes. Brilliant. Brim. Yeah. It does sound, doesn't it? Like a, like a magic trick. Like you have no, you know, anyway. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (00:45.282) Yes. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (00:57.67) Yes, correct. I can confirm Ricky the magician. I can confirm. I do not know what you're about to do Ricky Locke (01:07.177) Alan, I've got a couple of questions selected, so we'll see if we get time and have some fun, but are you ready for your question? All right, here we go. The question is this. What is a common misconception that people have about you? And how does it make you feel? 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (01:11.891) Yes, mate. Let's do this. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (01:24.05) Oh, common misconception about me and how does it make me feel? Um, I think I can answer the feel part before the misconception part. So the feel part is quite easy. I spend quite a lot of time kind of in my own head, thinking, working through stuff, I enjoy it a lot. So I think the feel part is I don't feel anything about the misconceptions. Cause I think if there is a misconception, it's usually because of what I'm putting out. Ricky Locke (01:34.617) Okay. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (01:52.494) Um, so I'm, I'm kind of okay, but I own that misconception, if that makes sense. So, so there's no point me feeling unhappy about what someone might think about me and everything else. The other part is, and there are misconceptions which I'll come to, because I understand what I put out years and years and years ago, like decades ago, when I was younger, I remember. You know what you'll know? Well, I say you'll know what it's like. You may know what it's like. There was always your mates, right? When your mates were with you together, when you were with your mates, your male friends, right? You'd be like that. The second anyone was with their girlfriend or a girlfriend was there, everything changed, right? Everything changed. And I remember sometime in my early 20s, late teens going, why does everyone change? Ricky Locke (02:28.213) Yeah, yeah. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (02:34.25) Why wouldn't you want to be the same person regardless of whether you're girlfriend, because that means either your mates aren't getting the genuine you or your girlfriend's not getting the, or they're getting a version of you. Right. And, and, but I understand the kind of topics and conversations and language might be subtly different, that's different, but fundamentally there were people who were massively different. Right. And I remember looking at them and you know, everyone's in their own life. It's fine. And I remember thinking, I don't want to do that. So, um, other than a few subtleties, pretty much I'm the same person with my friends and Emily, now my wife, which comes back to, I guess, the misconceptions part is I feel sometimes there's a misconception about me, but so because I'm rather gregarious and loud, the, the more kind of deep thinking overthinker I don't always think comes out because I don't want it to, because I want to prioritize fun. Um, so I, I wonder, I wonder, I don't really know. No one's ever come up and when I was wrong about you, Alan, I wonder if that kind of the, the deeper side of me that I may keep for conversations like this doesn't always come out and some people may have that misconception, but fundamentally I've made a choice to be like that, so I'm okay with it. Does that make sense? Ricky Locke (03:49.253) Mm, yeah, brilliant. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. So to tell us a little bit more about that, then. So does it does it affect you? So just to clarify again, like, how does that make you feel when people have that misconception? 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (04:03.626) It doesn't make me feel anything because I've chosen to be in certain a certain way. And because their misconception will be based on what I'm putting out. So I'm kind of, I don't feel anything. Sometimes I might go, okay, I probably need to be a little bit less of a joker for a period of time. And perhaps a bit more kind of this kind of conversational Alan. Which interesting, if you get me by myself, you tend to get, if I'm with Emily. then Emily's the straight person and I'm the joker or the dickhead, whatever you want to call it. And I'm okay with that because I feel there is an element, a balance and in a conversation like this, it's like when we do the digital circuits, we have walk on music, right? So when we open the doors on Zoom and everyone comes into music, if Emily's there, I'll be kind of singing, dancing. I'll bring my microphone down, pretend I'm a superstar DJ or an Oasis or something. If Emily's not there. Ricky Locke (04:37.482) Yeah. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (04:59.73) I actually feel a bit awkward and go, oh, hello, everyone. Welcome, welcome along, you know? So it's, I guess it's just a bit like that, but going back to how I feel, no, I'm okay. Because I think these are conscious choices I'm making and neither of them are, I'm gonna say bad, but I don't think that's the word. Neither of them are not nice versions, if that makes sense. They're all the same version. I just sometimes put that switch up more than that switch and bring that switch down. Ricky Locke (05:04.352) Yeah. Ricky Locke (05:08.973) Yeah. Ricky Locke (05:23.341) Yeah. Ricky Locke (05:27.229) Yeah, like a thermostat, isn't it? Like you might have to heat up a little bit, cool it down a little bit and tailor it a little bit, but it's still you. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (05:28.983) So I don't know if anyone... 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (05:35.306) Yeah, yeah, of course. I mean, it's got to be the same like as a magic show, right? You know, you're not going to go on stage as a magic show and give the deep thinking Ricky Locke. You're going to give the presenter Ricky Locke, right? It doesn't mean the deep thinking Ricky Locke, the kind of specific version of yourself, the self-improvement doesn't exist. And it will be kind of intertwined, right? But you've dialed that one up, that Fermistats up to 100. Ricky Locke (05:40.035) Mmm. Ricky Locke (05:50.175) Yeah. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (06:04.694) conversation like this, dial the performance down a little bit and just maintain this. And I guess that's it. So like I say, any misconceptions outside of that, I probably don't even really know about, you know, and I don't mean this in a flippant way. I don't care because I'm happy with who I am, 99% of it. So, which I've put a lot of time and effort into being happy with who I am and making sure that people are getting me and things like that. So, yeah, I think that's where I'm at with that. Ricky Locke (06:10.955) Yeah. Ricky Locke (06:17.854) Yeah, yeah. Ricky Locke (06:21.272) Yeah. Ricky Locke (06:32.865) So just so to explore that, I totally agree. So like in Tesco's when I walk around the hours, I'm like, hey, it's magic, man. I'm picking up my chicken and my protein. Hey, no, of course not. It's like really grumpy. I quite often tell a lot of my customers, if you meet me around in Tesco, it's because a lot of people who book me where I live, I'll say, yeah, if you, if you see me in Tesco, I'm probably going to be in my pajamas. I'm like, who are you? You know, you know, because you have to. There's that human element, isn't there, of like. the separation. So is there then just to explore that, is there a misconception that people believe that what I see, so the Alan I see on Zoom, I'm going to believe that that's the Alan I'm going to see in Tesco's or in the shops or at the school, the drop off. Do you think that that's what people see or do you think they have that understanding of, well, he's a bit of a miserable bugger, wasn't he? Like he's not the same that I know from digital circus. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (07:22.886) No, I get that. And actually the school runs are really good example of that. So we do the school run twice a day, we park in the park, we walk through the park, and there's a large amount of parents and children and everything else. So you don't want grumpy, Alan, you don't want kind of, don't want to talk to people, Alan. And also we're a big believer in like representing your business and your brand and all opportunities and all everything else. So we have to make sure we're on it through the park, right? Not on it, because that makes it sound like fake. That version is there that day. But there are some days when the kids have come in for a chat at midnight and you can't work out why, or you're not feeling best yourself or whatever else, but you go, it's gonna be a real struggle today. Ricky Locke (07:52.491) Yeah. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (08:11.862) But so you have to keep your eyes down, right? And you kind of, perhaps you're not saying, because there'll be some days when I walk down the kind of the path through the park and it's good morning, good morning, hello you, how are you today? And it is like showbiz, you know, showbiz Ricky and Alan, I'm not in showbiz, so I don't feel I could say that then. But there are those days, but I think, I feel most people are reasonable enough to understand that. Ricky Locke (08:21.943) Yeah. Ricky Locke (08:25.342) Yeah, yeah. Ricky Locke (08:29.583) Yeah. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (08:39.158) You can't be a hundred percent, a hundred percent of the time. And everyone's allowed an off day. And if they're not aware of everyone's allowed an off day and then they're going, Oh, he's a grumpy bugger. Then if I'm really honest, that's their problem, not mine, you know? Um, and, and if someone is being a grumpy bugger, the first thing you should be saying to yourself, and it's difficult to remember to do this is. I hope everything's okay with them. Ricky Locke (08:45.166) Hmm Ricky Locke (08:54.357) Yes. Yeah. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (09:04.67) It should not be about you. It should be about them. It's really tricky at times to do that because you've got your own crud going on as well, but it should be. I hope they're okay. And I think it's still okay to have opinions and thoughts and, oh, they were a bit miserable today. But then when you've gone through all that, it should still come back to, drop them a note. And I think that's really important, Ricky, right? We're all different. There's, I like to talk about, there's like... Ricky Locke (09:15.594) Yeah. Ricky Locke (09:26.846) Yeah. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (09:32.074) There's something like eight or nine billion people in the world. I lose track, right? And, and I don't know if this figure is still accurate, but once upon a time I was Googling how many people we meet in our life and the suggested figure was 80,000, okay? So we are coming up with thoughts and opinions on life, on everyday life, but we have fundamentally put all 8 billion people in the same pot of our thoughts and feelings based on only meeting 80,000, which Ricky Locke (09:45.437) Oh, wow, that's quite small. Yeah. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (10:00.074) my maths isn't that fast as a percentage is ridiculously small. So why would we, you know, when we're in the right place and we're firing in the right place, why would we care in inverted commas about what someone thinks about ourselves because we don't know what their, you know, their belief structure and everything else I like that you talk to me about and I like to listen to is like, we just don't know. So look after yourself a bit more, make sure others are okay. Ricky Locke (10:04.768) Yeah. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (10:28.89) And it just doesn't really matter if some, if someone's got a misconception of you going back to the question based on something you're doing, that's not, Oh, I'm going to do a buzzword Ricky, that's not authentic. Then the problem lies with you. If someone's got a misconception of you and you are being authentic in this example, then, then there isn't, there is no problem, you know, or how does that, did I do that the right way round? Ricky Locke (10:40.347) Yeah. Ricky Locke (10:44.569) Hmm Ricky Locke (10:47.799) Yes. Ricky Locke (10:52.297) Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. Yeah. 💛 Alan @YellowTuxedo (10:52.574) No, the problem lies with them. You know, it's yeah, it's like it's, if you're being authentic, it doesn't matter. You know, my dad always said, if there's a problem and you can do something about it, do something about it. So it doesn't matter. If there's a problem, you can't do anything about it. You can't do anything about it. So don't worry about it. You know, it's like, you know, so. Ricky Locke (10:58.379) Yeah. Ricky Locke (11:07.801) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, so let's explore that because I totally agree that you've had the light bulb moment is that isn't it the authenticity if let's say me and you, what we do on Zoom...

105 THE POWER OF BELIEF: LESSONS FROM GLEN MCCOY | DIARY OF A CEO CONVERSATION CARDS In this episode, Ricky Locke interviews Glen McCoy, a scriptwriter and creative. They discuss the belief or behavior that has positively impacted Glenn's life in the past 12 months. Glen shares his belief in allowing things to happen rather than forcing them, and how this belief has led to positive changes in his life. They also explore the idea of living in a virtual simulation and the power of believing in the ability to change one's circumstances. The conversation concludes with a reflection on choices and the importance of connecting with one's inner child. Takeaways * Allowing things to happen rather than forcing them can lead to positive changes in life. * Believing in the possibility of change can open up new opportunities. * Challenging the belief that life is set in stone can empower individuals to make meaningful changes. * Connecting with your inner child and reflecting on your past aspirations can inspire personal growth. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background 01:24 The Belief that Positively Impacted Glen's Life 05:00 Challenging the Belief that Life is Set in Stone 08:12 Reflecting on Choices and Making Changes 09:35 Connecting with Your Inner Child 10:32 Wrap-up and Where to Find Glen McCoy Find out more about Glen and his work at https://www.linkedin.com/in/glenmccoy/ Patreon thanks! Shout out to the amazing Patron supporters for keeping this podcast going; thank you Ant Howe, Chloe Wilmot, Cheri Brenton, Steve McDermott and Rory Barnes! You are all amazing! 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[https://www.amazon.co.uk/UNLOCKED-Ricky-Locke-Podcast-Notebook/dp/B08TK4MQX1/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ricky+locke&qid=1612290641&sr=8-1] A new episode is out every Wednesday. So make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on any episodes coming soon. And, if this episode brought some value to you, or even a smile, then please leave a review or a rating. That would be amazing! Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoy this episode and I'll join you next week for another episode of UNLOCKED! Transcript Ricky Locke (00:00.977) Welcome to the Unlocked podcast in my mini series where we're using the diary of a CEO conversation cards to unlock some deeper levels of connection. Today, I've got a very special guest. Welcome Glenn McCoy. How are you, Glenn? Glen McCoy (00:15.982) Very well, Ricky. Thanks for inviting me. Ricky Locke (00:18.289) I'm really excited for this. Good to see it. And Glenn, just for the listeners, if they haven't heard of you or not met you before, tell the listeners who are you and what is it that you do? Glen McCoy (00:28.174) So I'm Glenn McCoy. I am a script writer, writer and creative in general, and I write for television, but also the corporate market. Ricky Locke (00:39.955) Yes, and I believe is there a couple of films or TV series that we are quite familiar with, I believe. Glen McCoy (00:46.894) Yes, if I mentioned them, I'd ruin my street cred immediately. However, you may have heard of EastEnders and Emmerdale. So that's where I cut my teeth writing on the soaps. Ricky Locke (00:50.419) Yeah Ricky Locke (00:55.067) Yes. Yes, very, very good. Well, Glenn, as I've mentioned and for familiar listeners, this is where we're going to dive into just a random card for clarity. I know this sounds like because I'm a magician. This sounds like really forced, but you have no idea what we're about to say. I have not pre set this up with you, correct? It's a very classic magician line, that one. But I'm going to ask you the question. Are you ready for your question, Glenn? OK, Glenn, here is the question. Glen McCoy (01:13.486) No idea. That's absolutely correct. Ricky Locke (01:24.979) What is the one belief or behavior that has positively impacted your life in the past 12 months? Glen McCoy (01:36.27) Yes, I would say the belief that most impacted me is how I've noticed where I have arrived in the last 12 months. So in other words, in the last 12 months, I've moved from somewhere in the country that I was living for about 16 years. My decision to do it was on a whim and I now move north and I live in Clitheroe. in Lancashire, and I reflect on the number of other changes that have happened to me, which all align with my purpose and the things that I want out of life. And I kind of think to myself, my belief structure around this is that the harder you try and make things happen, the worse it is. If you can kind of relax and lay back and... still know what you want, but allow it to happen. In other words, don't chase it so much. It's more likely to come into your direction. Ricky Locke (02:45.523) Interesting. Now that I mean, obviously that sounds kind of counterproductive there, you know, by having a relaxed attitude towards it that things are likely to happen. So why has that happened for you? Glen McCoy (02:58.51) Because if you pressurize your belief system and you do put it under pressure, I don't think it functions as well as still maintaining the belief, but having that confidence and expectation that it will happen anyway. Ricky Locke (03:16.755) Interesting. So what are those beliefs that's positively impacted? Is there anything specifically? So you mentioned obviously about obviously working hard, you've moved. So what are those beliefs? Glen McCoy (03:29.294) Well, I've been looking at a lot of well -known scientists who are more like astrophysicists. And if you can go and check this out yourself. But a lot of the top people in this realm have come to the conclusion that we live in a virtual simulation. That kind of thing, yeah. Now, whether we do or whether we don't doesn't really interest me. Ricky Locke (03:52.595) Like the Matrix. Yeah. Glen McCoy (03:59.064) However, my thinking around it is that what if it was true that we are in this virtual simulation, it must therefore mean that you can construct just about anything you want in the future, because it's the nature of a computer program. You know, you kind of write the code, pop it in, and out comes the outcome or the result. And by having that belief, I feel I've covered more ground and got more things done than having the belief that this is all very real and you can't change it and you are kind of there because someone's put you there and you have to just cross your fingers and hope for the best. That is kind of pushing your beliefs, but having the belief that you can change things suddenly makes it easier for you to have the confidence. to make those changes happen in reality. Ricky Locke (05:00.755) I think that's fascinating. Yeah. And I agree. There's, there's a lot of, um, there's a guy, I can't quite remember his name now. He's very big on TikTok social media. And he interviews people in the street and says, what's your dream in the street? And they're like, completely like they're in the matrix completely, but in the opposite sense of like, their heads down blinkered, like, this is my life. You're right. So it's fascinating. But one of the things that is like, I think it's really difficult is a lot of people, you know, and I'm not going to name names here, but I know especially, Glen McCoy (05:15.95) Mm. Ricky Locke (05:30.259) family members, friends that have a belief that I can't change things, that my life is set in stone, cause and effect, right? I live at the effect of this. So for those people listening, it might be very easy for people like me and you who live in that world where, you know, we're an LP trained, we are big fans of learning development. But for those people that are listening that, no, no, I don't get it. I don't believe that. I believe that my life is set in stone. That is it. What would you say to them about giving them Glen McCoy (05:54.486) Thank you. Ricky Locke (05:59.379) belief that they can change things in their life, what they need to do. Glen McCoy (06:04.014) Reminds me of the very old movie Shirley Valentine, I don't if you've ever seen it. But there's... Ricky Locke (06:09.683) I'm a bit young Glenn, but yeah, I do know. Yeah. I think I remember. Yes. True. Yes. Yeah. Glen McCoy (06:13.618) Age aside, you can always do it tomorrow. You get that movie out and look at it. You've, without giving anything away that will spoil it for you, you've got a woman who is locked into a belief system created by her husband. And the... Ricky Locke (06:31.333) Wait, hang on a minute. I might remember this because I think Glenn and hopefully I'm not going to spoil this, but my mum used to love Shirley Valentine because is this the lady that goes abroad and lives in a... Okay, cool. Go for it. Sorry. Carry on. I know who it is now. Yes. Glen McCoy (06:40.494) Yes. Now she got to a stage where she had to make a decision. She could either carry on and make sure her husband gets his meat and veg on a Tuesday and fish on a Friday, or she could go off into the sunset and do something completely different. It's not that she, what could I say? fell out with her husband as such. She just had had enough of being pushed down this path. And I think it's quite a good movie. You should kind of have a look at it. And that kind of reminds me that if you're on a path and you think you can't do anything about it, well, you have to realize that that's you for the rest of your life. Nothing is going to change. And that's the way it's going to be. Or today, you could make some changes and step out of where you are and just play with this idea, even if it's just for a couple of weeks, of doing something completely and utterly different. And do you have the courage to do that? Now, of course, we all know that if we had to do that, we were forced into doing it, we would. So it is within our choice system to make that decision. And if you've never done that before, It's something you should consider. Ricky Locke (08:12.115) very powerful, Glenn. And you've reminded me this always happens when I do podcast recordings with awesome guests like yourself, where we do like the quote tennis. I'm give you a quote and then I'll quote that. Jim Rohn, you know, he always used to say, like, if you want things to change, you have to change, you know, and it's the same thing, isn't it? And making a choice there. So for people listening to this, as we wrap this up, based on your experience over the last 12 months about the positive belief that's positively impact your life, but also about this living in a virtual world or the matrix, as we call it, and we have the belief we get to choose what we do. What's one thing do you think that people should go away and think and feel after hearing your story? Glen McCoy (08:59.918) about the Matrix world or about anything. Ricky Locke (09:02.323) Oh, I think we should go for the beliefs about, yeah, you get to choose. Yeah. So what do you think they should go away and do? Glen McCoy (09:05.326) Please. Okay. So the one thing, the one thing you may want to do is get into a time machine and go back to when you were five or six. And go back to your five or six year old self and try and remember what that young person was expecting to be or become as an adult. and ask yourself the question, if you were able to do that and you were able to show that five or six year old what happened to them, would they be proud? Would they be happy? Or would they be disappointed? Now, if it's proud and happy, you've cracked it. If it's disappointed, then part two would be what could you do today to change that disappointment so that this time next year you could go back in the time machine and say, actually, I came too early, this is who I am now, what do you think? And they're just elated. Ricky Locke (10:15.827) Wow, that's very powerful, isn't it? It almost speaks to the inner child in us as well. Love that. Well, Glenn, thank you so much for this lovely little bite size episode. If people want to hear more or find out more about you, where can they go to learn about Glenn McCoy? Glen McCoy (10:32.622) just Google Glenn McCoy and look for a Glenn McCoy writer. There's a Glenn McCoy with two N's for Glenn, who is a cartoonist in America, a successful one, and very often I get mail destined for him. So it's Glenn with one N. Ricky Locke (10:43.187) Not that one. Ricky Locke (10:52.627) Brilliant. Glenwen one end. Fantastic. Thank you, Glen, for coming on. Thank you. Glen McCoy (10:58.862) My pleasure, thanks, Ricky.