Unlocked

113. 10 TIPS TO BUILD A THRIVING BUSINESS WITH FAYE CORNHILL | CHALLENGE YOUR BELIEFS & UNLOCK SUCCESS In this episode, Faye Cornhill shares powerful tips to help you grow with confidence, attract high-paying clients, and challenge the beliefs that may be holding you back. Whether you're a solopreneur, wedding business owner, or creative entrepreneur, these mindset shifts and business strategies will help you overcome fear, redefine success, and take your business to the next level. Don't let self-doubt stop you—embrace your potential and start thriving today! Connect with Faye at: www.fayecornhillcoaching.co.uk www.theweddingbusinessclub.com www.livesinfocus.org.uk Chapters 00:00 Introduction and the Power of Belief 03:01 The Catalyst for Change 09:12 Early Entrepreneurial Spirit 15:19 Support and Belief 18:32 Challenging Societal Norms 23:21 Creating Your Own Path 27:38 The Power of Beliefs 29:33 Embracing the Temporary 30:28 Breaking Free from Societal Expectations 36:12 Pushing Through Challenges 49:00 Challenging Limiting Beliefs Takeaways -Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your dreams. -Challenge societal norms and create your own path to fulfillment. -Being true to yourself and making choices that align with your values is -key to finding purpose and success. -Fulfillment can be found in both entrepreneurship and being a stay-at-home parent. -Beliefs have a significant impact on our lives and businesses. It's important to choose empowering beliefs that support our growth and success. -The belief that everything is temporary can help us navigate both the good and the bad times. It reminds us to keep striving during the good times and to persevere through the difficult times. -Societal expectations should not dictate our choices. We have the power to choose our own path and pursue our goals and dreams, even if they go against societal norms. -Pushing through tough times and challenges can lead to personal growth and a sense of accomplishment. We are capable of more than we often give ourselves credit for. -It's important to challenge our limiting beliefs and question who is telling us that we can't achieve something. By taking action and saying 'yes' to our aspirations, we can overcome self-doubt and achieve great things. Patreon thanks! Shout out to the amazing Patron supporters for keeping this podcast going; thank you Ant Howe, Jasmine Barnes, Chloe Wilmot, Sara Kay, Cheri Brenton, Steve McDermott, Chris Lovett & Rory Barnes! You are all amazing! Come Join the UNLOCKED community where you can receive... * Early access to episodes * Patron shout outs and recognition at the end of every episode * Exclusive backstage content and bonus episodes * Ask me anything - have your questions answered online * Shape the future of the podcast with your requests. * (Optional - become a sponsor of the show!) * Exclusive giveaways and HUGE Discounts off my online courses and so much more... To be a Patron and support the podcast just head to this link [https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast] or head to https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast I can't wait for you to be a part of this journey! Free Resources * FREE Ebook 10 SIMPLE STEPS TO SELL WITH CONFIDENCE [https://mailchi.mp/0d35be4cdc01/8hyymfp0m6] * FREE Ebook 10 tips to improve your productivity [https://mailchi.mp/fecf67ff6878/10-tips-to-improve-your-productivity] * Free Workbook : Understanding Your Values [https://drive.google.com/file/d/18hahQ2osX2InxaPGkhJ9gd0MgjeQEMIr/view?usp=sharing] * FREE EBOOK : Improve your confidence and create awesome videos with a smartphone [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/ebook] * Follow me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] & Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/RickyLockeMagic] at: @rickylockemagic [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] *  For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/] PODCAST MERCHANDISE!!! It's officially here! Woohoo! You can now buy your own UNLOCKED podcast notebook. The perfect addition to share your thoughts, ideas, and inspiration from the podcast. Available here! [https://www.amazon.co.uk/UNLOCKED-Ricky-Locke-Podcast-Notebook/dp/B08TK4MQX1/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ricky+locke&qid=1612290641&sr=8-1] A new episode is out every Wednesday. So make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on any episodes coming soon. And, if this episode brought some value to you, or even a smile, then please leave a review or a rating. That would be amazing! Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoy this episode and I'll join you next week for another episode of UNLOCKED! Ricky (00:00.098) When you feel low emotionally and physically, that is when you are most susceptible to believing things that you don't believe are true. Like you can do those things. I'm not saying you have to go and do crazy things like climb mountains or whatever, but you are capable as your beliefs will let you be. And so why not change that? Like why not instead of, yeah, but I couldn't do that. Says who? Ricky (00:43.406) Welcome to the Unlocked podcast, Faye Cornhill. How are you? I'm really well, thank you. Thank you for having me. Pleasure. Yeah, finally, after boiler attempts to get that replaced and I lost my voice, I think it was on the other time, wasn't it? I had no voice, couldn't do the recording. So we're finally here now after years of talking about this. So this is an absolute pleasure, Faye. There'll be a lot of listeners that listen to my podcast that will recognise you. But for those who don't know who you are, Faye, tell us who are you? Do you know what? When people introduce themselves as really slick, like one -liner, I think, they've got it down. So for anyone listening, I don't have that down. So prepare for the waffle. I am a business coach. So I help people grow and scale their businesses. A very, very quick potted history is that 15 years ago, I started my first business, which was my wedding photography business. I just plucked the idea. literally out of thin air and started a business and it kind of went quite well. It went really well in fact and that sort of unbeknown to me grew into something that enabled me to help and support other people to do the same. I now run four different businesses all kind of with roots in the wedding industry. I am mum to two teenagers, can't believe that. Where did the time go? I live in the countryside, I have two dogs and I quite like watching films and chilling on my sofa. That's nice, that's nice, that's not waffle at all, that's lovely. Yeah, that's very good. Well, I'll you, I'm really interested to get you on here because for a multiple of reasons really. Obviously we've known each other for about four years now, I think, through the wedding business club and through... Online shows, remember those days? Wow. When we were in lockdown, they were good. That was good that and obviously the BBC as well. So one of the things that I'm really eager to talk about is your journey. And particularly on this podcast, we talked to like amazing individuals of how they've got to where they've got to start to unlock that or unpick that and understand what it takes for someone to get to just extraordinary, awesome things. And I'm genuinely intrigued about your journey, because I think it will be a similar pathway to me one day. You know, some of the thoughts and feelings that I'm having right now about Ricky (03:01.324) children and how that can massively throw off your plans and your dreams, but also still in, you know, we still got to keep it on track. Right. So I'm genuinely really interested about this. Go back to early days. You obviously have had a wonderful career through you can us a little bit about, you know, obviously full time employment and obviously creating a bit. So let's talk a little bit about your story from being young. Was it a dream or did you aspire to go into photography? Never photography. No, I was. I always, always had this feeling that I would have my own business. And I don't really know where that came from because I don't come from a family of entrepreneurs. know, a lot of people say, I learned what I know from my dad or from my mom or from my grandma, but actually nobody in my family was self -employed. In fact, quite the opposite, I would say. I come from an upbringing of actually really hardworking people. all who worked hard for somebody else. And I think that is inspirational in itself. My dad worked for his whole life for Clark Shoes. My dad was an engineer. He was also a part -time fireman. And he worked, yeah, making the tools that make shoes that are on our school kids' feet. And he worked for them for years. And I have to say, I think I found that in equal parts. inspirational, like someone can stick doing the same thing for that long. And also inspirational not to actually repeat that because I get bored really easily and the idea of going to the same place of work every day. mean, my dad would have started there, I guess when he was like 16 when he left school and left at retirement age, the thought of that kills me actually. I don't think I've thought what it takes to do that. So I wasn't, I haven't been brought up to run businesses in my sleep, but I was always really curious about the idea. I remember as a kid, I would sell stuff in the playground, like not bad stuff. I went to a nice little village primary. Dodgy DVDs and stuff like that and videos. actually the first thing I ever sold was headed letter paper. And so we bought a computer. Ricky (05:25.366) which was a big, big deal for our family. I mean, it couldn't do anything apart from like write a document and print it. And even that was quite bad. And it had clip art. And I would sell to my friends, like, do you want a dolphin or would you like a butterfly? And I would write their name and I would print them letterhead. And then they could write their thank you letters for their Christmas gifts on fancy letterhead paper. And so I made some cash from that, which was fun because... You know, I didn't pay for the ink or paper. Nice. was good. was good. overheads then. I've always been deeply curious about making money. And I don't think it comes from a place of materialism. I've honestly never really been materialistic. I wasn't as a kid. I'm not now. I say I'm less now than I ever have been. But I just thought it was a really fun game. thought it was really fun. you know, what I grew up in a, in a West country, like very normal place to grow up, a very normal upbringing where people worked hard for their money and you went on your week holiday in the summer. And I always found that really interesting, like how life works and how money works. Interesting. I'm quite particularly interested in this, like, cause again, similar thing, you know, I mean, one of my earliest business. ventures was to give Christmas cards to all my paper round, know, come up with the idea of my brother of like, you know, if we like, you know, really give a great customer experience, good service, you know, we're nice with friendly people, you know, and we give them all little Christmas cards, we'd have this little competition where we get who get the most tips, you know, and being very young, you know, it's a great little venture, right. But I'm always intrigued to understand like, where does this come from? You've mentioned that there was no one in your family that bone, you know, even the same with me, you know, no one. I don't even have anyone I think in the couple of generations who kind of create their own business. I'm the first person that creates my business. So it's interesting. Do you think that a lot of that is because of the conditions of the environment that we're part of? Was there any friends or family members, not close family members that might have influenced you with that? Or do you think it was just something you were born with? I think I learned very quickly that I could influence people by what I said. And so very early on I was at drama school. Ricky (07:47.93) I was in plays and shows and at Christmas I'd be embarrassingly standing up and singing for the family. so at the same time as being really curious about money and business, I learned that I could influence people by what I said and what I did. My school reports all say like, it's very hard to be cross with Faye because she kind of makes me laugh. And I learned, I knew I was really aware of that. I could get myself into a hole as quickly as I could get myself out of the hole. And so I think it was almost like being rewarded for that particular skill that I was honing as a child. Like, you know, the saying, the gift of the gab, that's what my grandparents and my parents would have said about me at a young age. And I just, I just enjoy conversations. I enjoy speaking to people. You know, I worked in... corporate world for long enough to know that I didn't want to work in it any longer. But I still got that rush and that thrill of like, I've worked really hard for this relationship. This person is on my side. And what I say to them now will dictate the result in my paycheck. And like it or not, that's how it works. And it worked in my favor most of the time. It's like you were very early on then learning the art of rapport and getting people to feel connected with you, which is obviously, I mean, from where you are right now, right? You've got this massive following. You've got this massive community which people feel connected. And I felt that before, you know, when we've had conversation before, there's something that's magnetic, you like you feel, I feel like Faye's known me for a long time, but actually it's the first or second conversation we've had. So yeah, so that's really good then. So that's great. So that's just come out of then from being young. So obviously life gets in the way, right? So I know that obviously you then obviously go into A levels, I believe. Yeah. So studied my A levels in my hometown, still living at home and really loved that. You know, I did drama A level, but I also did psychology A level and that was really, I felt like I, it sort of solidified what I'd started to believe about humans and interaction and how we. Ricky (10:08.514) deal with each other. And I found that really interesting. And of course, at the same time as, you know, being on a stage and, you know, anything from Shakespeare to like street comedy. So all of those things sort of came together for me. And I really enjoyed that period of my life, actually. I enjoyed studying for my A levels. I had that sense of, you know, I'm going to be the first in my family to go to university, which I always knew that I wanted to do. And I went off and I studied cultural and media studies because I wanted to make documentaries. That's what I wanted to do. I decided at that stage, I don't want to be on the stage just too much for me, but I really want to be a documentary maker. And that's what I'd studied for basically three years at university and had the best time. Brilliant, So curious then here. So obviously from an early age here, you've got this wonderful desire to make money. really interested in this. You got this entrepreneurial skills or these entrepreneurial DNA genes, whatever you want to call it, right? Which is not coming from family, right? It's just there, right? And then you go into a career where I guess is not entrepreneurial, but you're going to move up the ladder and you go quite high up in this corporate role. You then obviously go through this period where you're then going to go, you obviously have children and then something changes along that way where you then obviously start to then create your own business again. So tell me a little bit about this period between where You're in a corporate job, which we've all been there. I know we've had the same similar experience. Tell me about your experience of this corporate environment and then what led you to then eventually creating going off going, hey, you know what? I don't want to this anymore. I want to be my own boss. I want to create my own business. Tell me about that. Well, I knew from day one that the corporate dream as it were was my second choice. I graduated from university and I got offered my dream job at the BBC, like, my gosh, this is the one, like, amazing, this is gonna be great. But the money was appalling. The money did not cover the train ticket to get into London. And I had to make this really horrible, difficult decision where I felt basically I'm giving up on this thing that I want to do because I'm ambitious and I don't want to live like a pauper at. Ricky (12:28.846) to say that I got the dream job. And the two things were just not going together for me. So I had to say no to the job, the 11 grand offer. My train ticket context would have been 12 grand. Great. And so I took the first job that came my way, which was a sales job. I worked for a Japanese tech company. I don't speak Japanese. And yeah, took this. highly technical sales job, the only woman at the time that worked there. And I just remember this like, okay, well, this is it then, isn't it? Because I've done my little fun thing of like dreaming of doing fun stuff and like making documentaries. But now like, this is where I have to make the money and I want to make the money. And it was a great offer. It was a great, great salary, brilliant career prospects. And I thought, well, you know, this is just how it goes. And that is how it went for a bit. like, I can't say that I hated it. You you hear these stories of people hating their corporate job or hating the career that they chose. I really didn't. I didn't. It taught me so much about running a business, dealing with people, dealing with people that you really don't like or want to work with, dealing with sexism in the workplace, especially in that first role. And for a while I just sort of kind of went through the corporate mill as it were. The point where everything changed was when I had Harry. So Harry's 15 now. And I remember distinctly the Sunday before having to go back on the Monday, so he was nine months old, I'd taken my nine months statutory maternity pay. And at the time we lived in a town called Amersham, near where I live now....

112 HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR SLEEP WITH RYAN SNELL OF UNSTOPPABL | THE KEY TO HIGH PERFORMANCE In this week's episode I am joined with Ryan Snell of Unstoppabl and we dive into the critical role of sleep in enhancing high performance, discussing the alarming statistics of sleep deprivation and its economic impact. Exploring the health risks associated with insufficient sleep, including its effects on decision-making, productivity, and overall well-being. We discuss the importance of understanding sleep's functions and the significance of maintaining a healthy circadian rhythm to optimise sleep quality and health. We also discuss the challenges of modern life and how they impact our sleep and overall well-being and how to align with our natural circadian rhythms, offering practical strategies to improve sleep quality. Find out more about Ryan at https://unstoppabl.com/about-unstoppabl Chapters 00:00The Importance of Sleep in High Performance 02:55 Sleep Deprivation and Its Economic Impact 06:07 Health Risks Associated with Lack of Sleep 08:53 Understanding Sleep and Its Functions 11:55 The Role of Circadian Rhythm in Sleep Quality 15:03 Navigating Modern Life's Challenges 16:28 Understanding Circadian Rhythms 18:39 Strategies for Aligning with Nature 20:20 Creating a Sleep-Conducive Environment 22:55 Setting Boundaries for Better Sleep 25:31 Optimizing Your Sleep Space 28:41 Investing in Sleep Quality 29:15 The Impact of Caffeine on Sleep 30:52 Parenting and Sleep Challenges 34:04 Mental Health and Sleep 35:18 Practical Sleep Tips for Parents 39:02 Taking Responsibility for Sleep Improvement takeaways * One in five people are not getting enough sleep. * Sleep deprivation costs the UK economy around 40 billion pounds annually. * Lack of sleep can lead to poor decision-making and productivity loss. * Individuals getting less than six hours of sleep lose about six working days a year. * Sleep is crucial for recovery and overall health. * Arianna Huffington's experience highlights the dangers of sleep deprivation. * Circadian rhythm plays a vital role in sleep quality. * Sleep debt cannot be recovered; it accumulates over time. * Prioritizing sleep is essential for personal and professional success. * Healthy sleep habits are foundational for long-term health. We need to switch off from constant attention demands. * Modern life challenges our natural rhythms. * Aligning with circadian rhythms can improve sleep. * Morning sunlight exposure is crucial for alertness. * Creating a sleep-conducive environment is essential. * Setting boundaries helps improve sleep quality. * Avoid screens for at least 30 minutes after waking. * A cool, dark, and quiet bedroom promotes better sleep. * Regularly assess and update your mattress for comfort. * Simple strategies can lead to significant improvements in sleep. Investing in a good mattress is crucial for sleep quality. * Caffeine can significantly impact sleep; a cutoff time is recommended. * Parents should maintain a consistent wake-up time regardless of sleep quality. * Napping can help offset sleep deprivation, especially for parents. * Mental health is closely linked to sleep quality; lack of sleep increases anxiety and depression risk. * Setting boundaries around work and technology use is essential for better sleep. * Morning sunlight exposure can help regulate circadian rhythms. * Creating a calming bedtime routine can improve sleep quality. * Nutrition and hydration play a vital role in overall health and sleep. * Taking responsibility for sleep habits can lead to better health outcomes. Patreon thanks! Shout out to the amazing Patron supporters for keeping this podcast going; thank you Ant Howe, Jasmine Barnes, Chloe Wilmot, Sara Kay, Cheri Brenton, Steve McDermott, Chris Lovett & Rory Barnes! You are all amazing! Come Join the UNLOCKED community where you can receive... * Early access to episodes * Patron shout outs and recognition at the end of every episode * Exclusive backstage content and bonus episodes * Ask me anything - have your questions answered online * Shape the future of the podcast with your requests. * (Optional - become a sponsor of the show!) * Exclusive giveaways and HUGE Discounts off my online courses and so much more... To be a Patron and support the podcast just head to this link [https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast] or head to https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast I can't wait for you to be a part of this journey! Free Resources * FREE Ebook 10 SIMPLE STEPS TO SELL WITH CONFIDENCE [https://mailchi.mp/0d35be4cdc01/8hyymfp0m6] * FREE Ebook 10 tips to improve your productivity [https://mailchi.mp/fecf67ff6878/10-tips-to-improve-your-productivity] * Free Workbook : Understanding Your Values [https://drive.google.com/file/d/18hahQ2osX2InxaPGkhJ9gd0MgjeQEMIr/view?usp=sharing] * FREE EBOOK : Improve your confidence and create awesome videos with a smartphone [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/ebook] * Follow me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] & Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/RickyLockeMagic] at: @rickylockemagic [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] *  For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/] PODCAST MERCHANDISE!!! It's officially here! Woohoo! You can now buy your own UNLOCKED podcast notebook. The perfect addition to share your thoughts, ideas, and inspiration from the podcast. Available here! [https://www.amazon.co.uk/UNLOCKED-Ricky-Locke-Podcast-Notebook/dp/B08TK4MQX1/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ricky+locke&qid=1612290641&sr=8-1] A new episode is out every Wednesday. So make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on any episodes coming soon. And, if this episode brought some value to you, or even a smile, then please leave a review or a rating. That would be amazing! Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoy this episode and I'll join you next week for another episode of UNLOCKED!

111 HOW TO BECOME AN OLYMPIAN AND THE LINK BETWEEN MENTAL HEALTH AND PERFORMANCE WITH LEON TAYLOR | BEST SELF IMPROVEMENT PODCASTS In this conversation, Leon Taylor shares his journey from a challenging childhood to becoming an Olympic diver. He discusses the importance of pursuing meaningful goals, the challenges of maintaining motivation, and the significance of commitment over fleeting motivation. Leon emphasizes the mental state required for high-performance diving and the balance between individual and team dynamics in synchronized diving. He also reflects on the importance of identity beyond sports and the impact of external pressures on mental health. In this conversation, the speakers delve into the complexities of mental health, particularly in the context of competitive sports. They discuss personal experiences with mental health challenges, the evolution of diving codes, and the importance of physical movement for mental well-being. The dialogue emphasizes the need for athletes to prioritize their mental health and the significance of savoring moments in life. The speakers also reflect on the legacy they hope to leave for future generations, encouraging a balanced approach to performance and fulfillment. Connect with Leon Taylor at https://leontaylor.co.uk/ Chapters 00:00 The Pursuit of Meaningful Goals 01:57 Journey to Becoming an Olympian 10:38 The Challenge of Consistent Motivation 11:40 The Importance of Commitment Over Motivation 15:58 Mental State on the Diving Board 23:50 The Balance of Individual and Team Dynamics 28:39 Navigating Mental Health Challenges 30:55 The Evolution of Diving Codes 35:02 Breaking Barriers in Competitive Diving 36:42 The Link Between Mental Health and Performance 40:23 The Importance of Physical Movement for Mental Health 46:30 Finding Ease in a Fast-Paced World 51:10 Leaving a Legacy for Future Generations Takeaways -Give people the chance to not give themselves a hard time. -The pursuit of goals can sometimes feel meaningless. -Physical activity started early in life for me. -I didn't know the Olympics existed until I saw them on TV. -Training for the Olympics requires immense dedication and sacrifice. -Motivation can be fickle; commitment is more reliable. -The environment you train in shapes your performance. -Mental state is crucial when performing under pressure. -It's important to evaluate performance without catastrophizing. -Your identity should not solely be tied to your sport. Navigating mental health requires honesty and communication. -Physical movement significantly impacts mental health. -The evolution of diving codes opened new opportunities. -Breaking barriers in sports can change perceptions. -Mental health issues are common among athletes. -Savoring small moments can enhance overall well-being. -It's important to find ease in a fast-paced life. -Athletes should not solely focus on outcomes. -Legacy involves imparting wisdom to future generations. -Fulfillment comes from the journey, not just achievements. Patreon thanks! Shout out to the amazing Patron supporters for keeping this podcast going; thank you Ant Howe, Jasmine Barnes, Chloe Wilmot, Sara Kay, Cheri Brenton, Steve McDermott, Chris Lovett & Rory Barnes! You are all amazing! Come Join the UNLOCKED community where you can receive... * Early access to episodes * Patron shout outs and recognition at the end of every episode * Exclusive backstage content and bonus episodes * Ask me anything - have your questions answered online * Shape the future of the podcast with your requests. * (Optional - become a sponsor of the show!) * Exclusive giveaways and HUGE Discounts off my online courses and so much more... To be a Patron and support the podcast just head to this link [https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast] or head to https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast I can't wait for you to be a part of this journey! Free Resources * FREE Ebook 10 SIMPLE STEPS TO SELL WITH CONFIDENCE [https://mailchi.mp/0d35be4cdc01/8hyymfp0m6] * FREE Ebook 10 tips to improve your productivity [https://mailchi.mp/fecf67ff6878/10-tips-to-improve-your-productivity] * Free Workbook : Understanding Your Values [https://drive.google.com/file/d/18hahQ2osX2InxaPGkhJ9gd0MgjeQEMIr/view?usp=sharing] * FREE EBOOK : Improve your confidence and create awesome videos with a smartphone [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/ebook] * Follow me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] & Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/RickyLockeMagic] at: @rickylockemagic [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] *  For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/] PODCAST MERCHANDISE!!! It's officially here! Woohoo! You can now buy your own UNLOCKED podcast notebook. The perfect addition to share your thoughts, ideas, and inspiration from the podcast. Available here! [https://www.amazon.co.uk/UNLOCKED-Ricky-Locke-Podcast-Notebook/dp/B08TK4MQX1/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ricky+locke&qid=1612290641&sr=8-1] A new episode is out every Wednesday. So make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on any episodes coming soon. And, if this episode brought some value to you, or even a smile, then please leave a review or a rating. That would be amazing! Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoy this episode and I'll join you next week for another episode of UNLOCKED!

110 10 VOCAL EXERCISES FOR A MORE CONFIDENT VOICE | MASTERING VOCAL TECHNIQUES FOR CONFIDENCE WITH KAFFY RICE OXLEY OF VOICE CONFIDENT In this episode voice coach Kaffy Rice Oxley discusses the importance of vocal training, breath control, and the science behind voice production. The dialogue explores how first impressions are significantly influenced by vocal qualities, the mechanics of the vocal instrument, and practical techniques for improving vocal performance. Key topics include the role of diaphragmatic breathing, the significance of pauses in presentations, and effective breathing exercises for vocal endurance. We delve into various vocal techniques and exercises aimed at enhancing vocal performance and resilience. We discuss the importance of vocal warm-ups, hydration, and managing stress to maintain vocal health. The conversation also touches on practical tips for public speaking, including how to handle nerves and dry mouth, as well as daily routines to keep the voice in top condition. The speakers emphasize that confidence in speaking can be developed through practice and awareness of vocal techniques. Find out more about Kaffy at https://www.voiceconfident.com/ or connect at https://www.linkedin.com/in/kaffyrice-oxley/ Chapters 00:00 Jaw Release and Vocal Freedom 01:18 The Importance of First Impressions 02:35 Understanding Your Vocal Instrument 04:57 The Science of Voice Production 07:25 Breath Control and Its Significance 12:43 The Role of Diaphragmatic Breathing 16:27 The Power of Pausing in Presentations 20:49 Resetting with BiSpec Technique 22:08 Breathing Exercises for Vocal Endurance 23:44 Vocal Warm-Up Techniques 35:15 Maintaining Vocal Resilience 41:46 Managing Dry Mouth and Nerves 45:57 Daily Voice Care Routine Takeaways * Jaw release techniques can help loosen the jaw for better vocalization. * First impressions are heavily influenced by vocal cues, accounting for up to 38% of initial judgments. * Everyone has the same vocal instrument, and with training, anyone can improve their singing ability. * Breath control is essential for effective communication and vocal health. * Diaphragmatic breathing is crucial for maintaining a strong and stable voice. * Pausing during presentations can enhance audience engagement and reduce speaker anxiety. * The BiSpec technique (Breathe in, Smile, Pause, Eye contact) helps reset the speaker's focus and connection with the audience. * Understanding the mechanics of voice production can improve vocal performance. * Breathing exercises, such as box breathing, can enhance vocal endurance and control. * Practicing breath control can alleviate anxiety and improve overall vocal quality. Vocal warm-ups are essential for preparing the voice. * Articulation exercises can improve speech clarity. * Hydration is crucial for vocal health. * Chewing gum can stimulate saliva production. * Avoid whispering as it adds stress to the vocal folds. * Confidence in speaking can be learned and developed. * Daily voice care routines can enhance vocal performance. * Understanding vocal placement can reduce strain. * Managing nerves can prevent dry mouth during presentations. * Using varied vocal tones makes communication more engaging. Patreon thanks! Shout out to the amazing Patron supporters for keeping this podcast going; thank you Ant Howe, Jasmine Barnes, Chloe Wilmot, Sara Kay, Cheri Brenton, Steve McDermott, Chris Lovett & Rory Barnes! You are all amazing! Come Join the UNLOCKED community where you can receive... * Early access to episodes * Patron shout outs and recognition at the end of every episode * Exclusive backstage content and bonus episodes * Ask me anything - have your questions answered online * Shape the future of the podcast with your requests. * (Optional - become a sponsor of the show!) * Exclusive giveaways and HUGE Discounts off my online courses and so much more... To be a Patron and support the podcast just head to this link [https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast] or head to https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast I can't wait for you to be a part of this journey! Free Resources * FREE Ebook 10 SIMPLE STEPS TO SELL WITH CONFIDENCE [https://mailchi.mp/0d35be4cdc01/8hyymfp0m6] * FREE Ebook 10 tips to improve your productivity [https://mailchi.mp/fecf67ff6878/10-tips-to-improve-your-productivity] * Free Workbook : Understanding Your Values [https://drive.google.com/file/d/18hahQ2osX2InxaPGkhJ9gd0MgjeQEMIr/view?usp=sharing] * FREE EBOOK : Improve your confidence and create awesome videos with a smartphone [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/ebook] * Follow me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] & Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/RickyLockeMagic] at: @rickylockemagic [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] *  For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/] PODCAST MERCHANDISE!!! It's officially here! Woohoo! You can now buy your own UNLOCKED podcast notebook. The perfect addition to share your thoughts, ideas, and inspiration from the podcast. Available here! [https://www.amazon.co.uk/UNLOCKED-Ricky-Locke-Podcast-Notebook/dp/B08TK4MQX1/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ricky+locke&qid=1612290641&sr=8-1] A new episode is out every Wednesday. So make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on any episodes coming soon. And, if this episode brought some value to you, or even a smile, then please leave a review or a rating. That would be amazing! Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoy this episode and I'll join you next week for another episode of UNLOCKED! Speaker 1 (00:00.278) So jaw release is good, so you have to sort of let your face go soft, that's right, and then sort of manually, so you're finding this gap of your jaw, and you're gonna sort of manually open your jaw with your hands, so kind of go. Am I doing this right? No, no, right, so don't, yeah, there was massage, but to release the jaw, so put your, put the balls in and then just relax your face and you're gonna literally, manually open your jaw. okay. Like that? Yeah, with your hands. then if you do that few times, then when you talk, you will feel that your jaw feels looser and you're able to talk more freely as well. Speaker 2 (00:40.302) Yeah, yeah, I can feel it. It's like a bit of numbing sensation as well, but it's more open. can open your mouth and you can have a nice rich tone, a breath supported tone and you're articulating correctly. The sounds that we make are made in all different areas of the mouth depending on which muscles and everything they're using. Speaker 2 (01:18.478) Research shows that first impressions are formed within the first seven seconds and vocal cues are a substantial part of this. Studies indicate that a person's voice can be up to 38 % of the initial impression made during a conversation, which includes qualities like tone, pitch and speech rate. So because this is really important, let's have a little bit of discussion about our voice. Welcome to the show, Cathy Rice Oxley. How are you? I'm good, thank you Ricky, I'm all good, yeah, nice to be... to be here. Yeah, lovely to have you here. So, Cathy, obviously you're a voice coach at Voice Confident. Tell us just a little bit about what that is that you do. in all areas of voice training and as you say the voice is something that people do judge us on and if people are going to judge us on our voices then really we want it to be something which really represents us advocates for us that we like the sound of ourselves because you know if you don't like the sound of your own voice your voice allows you to give physical manifestation to your thoughts so if you don't like your voice then that's going to you know put barriers between what you're thinking and how you're able to communicate with people so yeah so I help people with their speaking voices and also with all of the presentation things around, that's all the non-verbal, the posture and the gestures and the face expressions, everything else that we're doing when we're speaking and communicating with people. Speaker 2 (02:35.63) Brilliant, and I'm really, really interested in this because, I mean, we've known each other for almost a year now. And obviously when I met you, there was lots of like synchronicity, synergy, however you want to describe it, because we both do presentation training. And one of the great things that we often talk about is in the Confident Club, we talk about the tools in the toolbox and about how we can make more impact. And I think it's just something that we often see in presentations that people just... We speak in that kind of modulated tone in that same voice and just we believe that that's all we can speak about and that's all that's how we speak. But my question is this, Kathy, could I sing like Beyonce? That's a really difficult one. I'm tempted to say... You are male, so this is a difficult one. But you're actually right. So your voice is an instrument. We've talked about this. Your voice is an instrument. Your voice can do amazing, amazing things. Most people with their spoken voice, they're only using a fraction of what this instrument is capable of. And I always say to people, have to think that your vocal instrument is the same as... all the great singers, all the opera singers, Beyonce, Whitney, you your vocal instruments the same as all the great singers who've ever lived, all the great actors, all the great impressionists. mean, think of all the actors we know on TV that can show up in completely different ways just by changing their accent and the voice and the way it's produced. We all have the same vocal instrument. So it's just a series of, you know, muscle movements and, you know, things interacting in this very complicated instrument and habits, physical habits. So yeah, you can pretty much learn to do whatever you want with your voice. Singing, absolutely everybody can sing. It is physical, it's just a case of learning how everything works and learning to produce things in a certain way. So all this, can't sing, I've never been able to sing, rubbish, everybody, everybody can sing and everybody should sing because it's really good for you, it's good, it's good for the soul to sing. Speaker 2 (04:27.15) Oh, thank you. You fulfilled my dream now because I used to believe like, you know, like it's one of those things like, you know, you're from Lincolnshire. You can't you can't sing, you know, in those tones that you have. obviously, yeah, absolutely. We can write. We've all got the same thing. So I'm interested to talk about. know that this is a big impact. So first, let's just talk a little bit about the science here because unconsciously I'm speaking right now. I'm not even having to think about it. It's just coming out. I might be, you know, adding a few phrases or a few inflections and stuff like that to make it more of an impact. But what's actually happening right now as I'm speaking? What is the science of what's going on. Well, you've got lots of things going on. Your system is supporting your voice. You've got a steady flow of air, which is passing your vocal folds, which are housed in your larynx, and that's making the sound. And then you are curating that sound using your articulators in your mouth. So your tongue very heavily is involved in almost all of the sounds that we make, but your tongue is interacting with movements of your lips and your jaw. You've got your hard palate, your soft palate. You've got various different types of resonance. So the sound itself is being made but it's being changed into speech sounds with everything here. that's a lot of science chat for you there Ricky. That's all. Speaker 2 (05:40.172) Yeah, so that's my fault thing. What's that elaborate on that? So to create like a visual picture for me in my mind, what does what is that? So you've got vocal folds and they are sort of mucous membrane, they're vibrating very, very, very quickly. So as the breath comes through, it's to do with the rate that they're vibrating and they stretch and relax. So when we have them stretch, this is the higher pitch and then when they relax, we get the lower pitch. So there's a lot going on. Also our larynx moves up and down, you might not be aware. There's a lot of very complicated movements. But as you say, see, most of the time we're not thinking about this at all. probably you are a singer or you're using your voice professionally, you don't tend to think very much about what you're doing. If an actor, say, needs to develop a new accent for a film or something, they will work with a speech coach and they will look at the whole thing. They will look at how the breath is coming through, they'll look at the position of the lines, they'll look at the placement of the sound in the mouth, they'll look at which areas of resonance they're using, because all different accents. or do things in a slightly different way. So when people put on an accent, for example, it's not just a case of making the sounds differently in their mouths. There's a lot more to it than that, right down to the movement of the legs and what you're doing with your vocal cords. Right, brilliant. obviously, there's a lot going on there that obviously we're just not thinking about unless we're actively, you know, we're a singer, we're speaking or we do some recording and that kind of thing. But one of the things that is really impactful that you mentioned about this is about how the power of the breath really helps with this. So I'd love to take a bit of a dive into why is breath control so important for a strong and stable voice? Speaker 1 (07:25.536) Yeah, it was quite interesting because the phrase breath control has become a bit contested in singing circles. There are some styles of singing where you're taught to sort of set the muscles in your abdomen and stuff and we wouldn't generally advise that. So when I talk about controlling the breath, it's about being able to breathe properly using your diaphragm. So you've got this massive muscle, sorry you can't really see my hands, but you've got this massive muscle sitting just beneath your rib cage, above your internal organs. we don't have to think about breathing, obviously this is something that we just do, but interestingly we can also control the diaphragm, so we can also choose when we breathe in and out. So we can for example breathe all the way out and then wait a few seconds before we breathe back in, or we can breathe in and we can hold it and then we can breathe out. And it's these muscles that enable us to do that. The reason that breath is really important with spoken communication is that when, well, probably particularly with nerves. So when people get nervous, they tend to take very shallow breaths. And if you take very shallow breaths, you tend to have to take more breaths. then, so when you were saying earlier that you were running out of, you were losing your voice, it may be that through that day, you've not had the breath support that is... properly, it's a breath pressure thing as well, so probably the breath pressure hasn't been correct on the air that's been coming through your vocal folds. So perhaps you've been breathing too shallowly, perhaps you've been speaking without enough breath pressure support, and this is all very wearing on the vocal folds. So then by the end of the day, if you've been sort of doing that... all day, yes by the end of the day you are going to feel fatigued. So yeah, so with spoken we don't think so much of breath control but we think about breathing properly. So we would take a nice breath in through the nose and as you do so you would feel your lower ribs and your floating ribs sort of expand so they go out, they go out forwards and they go out to the side and this is to allow your diaphragm Speaker 1 (09:29.9) which will then push down. This is why your tummy moves out when you're breathing properly, because it pushes down on your internal organs. So your belly sort of moves out and your ribs rise and expand. And this gives you the most air you can. And then when you breathe out, the diaphragm then, it's like an elastic sort of thing. So the diaphragm sort of springs back into place and your belly comes back in. But yeah, if at any point you're, if you're breathing right up here, Yeah, you are going to get just too much air going in and out all the time. We don't actually need a lot of breath to speak on. You know, most of us speak without a lot of breath, but yeah, that's the danger is if you're sort of breathing, you've got far too much coming in, far too much going out. And of course a breathy tone as well. If I put a lot of breath through my tone, I might start to sound either very anxious, You can sound really excited. if you talk to, know, if your daughter comes home from nursery, whatever, done something really cool, she'll be like, daddy, daddy, daddy, you know, this is what we do when we're really excited. But it also can make us sound very anxious. And if you do that over a period of time, you feel it is, it is drying to put that much air through your tone is, is drying. So yeah, being able to breathe properly using your diaphragm and to moderate the amount of airflow is important. Yeah. So interesting then, I think I see a video quite recently of a singer on stage, somewhere like, you know, Glastonbury, and he had his top off and the video was like diaphragmatic breathing at its perfection. And what happened was his belly. Have you seen this? Yeah. It's where his belly like inflates, but it like pops in pops out like really quick Which you don't you don't really see like when when singers are singing so obviously he's obviously breathing and it's like you see his tummy inflate He's a thin guy But he's me starts to inflate and then it pops back in and then obviously as he's doing his singing then next breath comes out So that's him mostly diaphragmatic breathing getting that airflow into projecting his voice Speaker 1 (11:35.382) Yeah, I've not seen that video. the sound of it popping back in is slightly...

109 INTROVERTS, EXTROVERTS AND THE BALANCE OF AMBIVERSION WITH ASHLEY GRIFFITHS | WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR CONFIDENCE In this episode, Ricky Locke interviews Ashley Griffiths, a video expert and NLP practitioner. They discuss Ashley's struggle with being an ambivert, finding balance between introversion and extroversion, and the power of silence. They also explore the strengths of introverts and the importance of embracing growth and change. Ashley shares his journey of self-discovery and offers insights into how to connect with him. Takeaways * Being an ambivert means having both introverted and extroverted qualities. * Introverts can be excellent public speakers and have their own unique strengths. * Silence is powerful and allows for deeper processing and understanding. * Finding the balance between introversion and extroversion is an ongoing process. * Embracing growth and change is essential for personal development. Chapters 01:06 Introduction and Background 2:06 Discovering Ambiversion 034:18 Balancing Introversion and Extroversion 06:55 The Power of Silence 09:08 The Strengths of Introverts 10:41 Struggling with Finding Balance 13:06 Embracing Growth and Change 15:18 How to Connect with Ashley Find out more about Ashley and his podcast here https://ashv5.podbean.com/ Or head to https://subscribepage.io/Lm3DfV Patreon thanks! Shout out to the amazing Patron supporters for keeping this podcast going; thank you Ant Howe, Chloe Wilmot, Cheri Brenton, Steve McDermott & Rory Barnes! You are all amazing! Come Join the UNLOCKED community where you can receive... * Early access to episodes * Patron shout outs and recognition at the end of every episode * Exclusive backstage content and bonus episodes * Ask me anything - have your questions answered online * Shape the future of the podcast with your requests. * (Optional - become a sponsor of the show!) * Exclusive giveaways and HUGE Discounts off my online courses and so much more... To be a Patron and support the podcast just head to this link [https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast] or head to https://www.patreon.com/theunlockedpodcast I can't wait for you to be a part of this journey! Free Resources * FREE Ebook 10 SIMPLE STEPS TO SELL WITH CONFIDENCE [https://mailchi.mp/0d35be4cdc01/8hyymfp0m6] * FREE Ebook 10 tips to improve your productivity [https://mailchi.mp/fecf67ff6878/10-tips-to-improve-your-productivity] * Free Workbook : Understanding Your Values [https://drive.google.com/file/d/18hahQ2osX2InxaPGkhJ9gd0MgjeQEMIr/view?usp=sharing] * FREE EBOOK : Improve your confidence and create awesome videos with a smartphone [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/ebook] * Follow me on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] & Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/RickyLockeMagic] at: @rickylockemagic [https://www.instagram.com/rickylockemagic/?hl=en] *  For more about me and what I do, check out my website [https://www.rickylocke.co.uk/] PODCAST MERCHANDISE!!! It's officially here! Woohoo! You can now buy your own UNLOCKED podcast notebook. The perfect addition to share your thoughts, ideas, and inspiration from the podcast. Available here! [https://www.amazon.co.uk/UNLOCKED-Ricky-Locke-Podcast-Notebook/dp/B08TK4MQX1/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=ricky+locke&qid=1612290641&sr=8-1] A new episode is out every Wednesday. So make sure you hit SUBSCRIBE so you don’t miss out on any episodes coming soon. And, if this episode brought some value to you, or even a smile, then please leave a review or a rating. That would be amazing! Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoy this episode and I'll join you next week for another episode of UNLOCKED! Ricky Locke (00:00.987) Hey, welcome to another episode of the mini series of the Unlocked conversation cards with the Diary of a CEO conversation cards. Today, I am joined with my good friend Ashley Griffiths. Hello, mate. How's it going? Ash (00:14.158) It's going fabulous. How about yourself Mike? Ricky Locke (00:16.763) Always fabulous, especially talking to another podcaster and video superstar media expert. My long list of words for you there, but yes, tell us a little bit about you and what is it that you do? Ash (00:31.054) Well, I quite like your intro actually. So, right. So what is it I do? Ultimately, I work with clients to get them out of their heads and out into the world. So dropping all the shoulds, all the musts, have to's, I need to be a guru, I need to sing, I need to dance. And I help them focus on who they are. what they're all about and then getting that across via video and out into the world so they can market their business and start attracting more of the sort of clients that light them up. Ricky Locke (01:06.427) I like that. Very nice. Very nice. Well, I'm looking forward to this one. So obviously we met through the wonderful van der Voel, sorry, I should say the van der Voel, Vaga, van der Voel, and through NLP because we're both NLP practitioners. So this will be a very interesting conversation. Are you ready for your question, Ashley? Ash (01:16.972) Yep. Yes, we are in date. Ash (01:25.71) Oh, I'm a little bit nervous, but let's do it. Let's do it. Ricky Locke (01:28.219) All right. Here we go. So your question is, what is the unobvious thing that you struggle with? Ash (01:38.7) Oh my life. Ricky Locke (01:39.195) What is the unobvious thing that you struggle with? Ash (01:42.702) The unobvious thing I struggle with. Ricky Locke (01:45.083) Yeah. Ricky Locke (01:48.571) Deep question that one. Ash (01:48.782) Okay. I suppose. Yeah. I think actually, I think the people are often surprised. Anyone who's met me, anyone who's been in a room with me, anyone who's seen my videos are often surprised to find out that I'm not a natural extrovert. I'm actually quite shy. Um, I recently discovered, well, recently, probably less two years ago that I'm an ambivert. Ricky Locke (02:10.243) Oh. Ricky Locke (02:18.829) Oh, okay. And just for clarity for listeners, what does that mean? Ash (02:19.278) So there are time. So I have both strong introverted and extroverted qualities. So that's why when you see me on video, if you see me in front of a class or a workshop, I'm bouncing around, I'm confident, I'm talking to everybody and all of that. But what you don't see is the next day I don't talk to anyone. Okay. So I need that space, but I also need. Ricky Locke (02:29.659) Okay. Ash (02:50.606) that environment where I can be social, where I can be around people, where I can be that center of attention and loud and bouncing around. Um, and I was just thinking about this yesterday actually, cause on Monday, um, one of my other hats that I wear is I work with kids that don't go to school. And Monday's quite a people -y day. So I'm talking to people from half nine in the morning. Ricky Locke (03:18.715) you Ash (03:19.566) all the way through until, yeah, seven o 'clock at night. And then on Tuesday, you're lucky if you get a word out of me until about four o 'clock in the afternoon. I literally just sit in a kind of daze until around lunchtime. And then I'm like, suppose I should probably talk to people again now. Ricky Locke (03:40.275) Nice, yeah. So interesting then. So where do you think that comes from then? Ash (03:47.118) What the ambivalent, I think I've always been quite insular in nature. I was always quite shy, but I was always fascinated with people. Always. And I liked observing and I liked sitting and I was often thinking, I'm not going to say anything unless I've actually got something worth saying. Um, so I, especially at school, I'd often sit, watch, and then whenever I was ready, I would pipe up. Um. But yeah, I was, I was very shy as a child. Very shy. Um, the work that I do now, all the public speaking I've done, if you'd have said that even to my teenage, possibly even to my 20 year old self, that I would be doing that, I'd have been like, shut up. There is no way I'm doing that in front of all those people. Nah, thanks. It was too, it was too high stakes. Um, so I think there was probably a self -esteem. Um, issue there for sure. Um, but over time, I think it just changes. I think you, I think one of the common misconceptions as well regarding that regarding introversion, extroversion, ambiversion, whatever is that to be a good public speaker, you need to be an extrovert. I think that's, that's some of the best public speakers in the world have been introverts. Um, so I think it's. Ricky Locke (05:04.539) Yeah. Ricky Locke (05:10.043) Yes. Ash (05:13.582) And also I think sometimes, you know, we live in a world that's determined to make everything binary. And it's just not that simple. I think we can flip between the two quite comfortably. I know I do. Ricky Locke (05:19.161) Yeah. Ricky Locke (05:23.131) Yeah. Yeah. Ricky Locke (05:28.187) Yeah, we have a belief in the Confident Club, same as you, that we believe some of the best speakers in the world are introverted people. But quite often the society norms is that you've got to be this great gregarious person on stage, you know, like Tony Robinson, you know, like, but actually it's the more measured approach, the people that have gravitas that can hold a room, you know, in the power of a pause. Ash (05:37.292) Hmm? Ash (05:43.246) Meh. Ash (05:50.7) Hmm. Ricky Locke (05:55.931) and taking people on a journey. Introverts, I think, are absolutely fantastic. So the fact that you have a balance, it's like a superpower. It's like your Clark Kent Superman, isn't it? I can kind of flick between the two. So that's a really good skill to have. Ash (06:09.838) I think again, yeah, with the, with the introversion, I like just kind of like come back to a point you said there about the silence, really the power of silence. I think we live in a society where that is being drastically diminished. Um, if you look at say social media with the way videos are put out, where you've got literally fit in your life story into a 30 second clip and the way that people edit that it's like, sounds like they're being bloody remixed. Ricky Locke (06:16.315) Yeah. Ricky Locke (06:39.611) Yeah. Ash (06:39.854) There's no room for the words to breathe. And, you know, purely from a processing power, a brain processing power, we need that time to let the words sink in and like figure out, okay, does this actually mean something to me? So silence is super powerful. I think in my teaching career, silence was crucial because sometimes teachers, I think like, okay, well, Ricky Locke (06:55.961) Yeah. Ricky Locke (07:00.555) Yeah. Ash (07:07.95) I asked a question nobody's answering. I'll go, Oh God, do I need to do something now? And it's like, no, let them think. Ricky Locke (07:14.139) Yeah, you, yeah, you've inspired me to think, I think about doing it. I do it like a video, like a podcast video. I sorry, like a little video on LinkedIn. I'm just sitting in front of the camera, not saying anything because the weight and the strength of what that could do to just be present in my own thoughts. But yeah, I mean, who was it? They were they, they are brilliant. They shared. great post which was the word listen and listen is is silent just the word silent just jumbled up into different letters I thought yeah that's right it's very powerful isn't it that wonderful pause and I love the idea of what you just mentioned there about the the two extrovert introvert that you can both achieve the silence on both parts Ash (07:46.188) Yeah. Ash (08:07.502) Absolutely. Ricky Locke (08:08.571) So it's kind of like, yeah, there's strengths in using both, isn't there? Interesting. Ash (08:13.134) Oh, massively, massively. I think again, it's the, with, with, uh, with say a public speaking or when, w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w Ricky Locke (08:28.409) Yeah. Ricky Locke (08:36.731) Yeah. Ash (08:41.902) You need to really emphasize that it's important to be listening right now. And even with the tone, the way that you're delivering that it's much more measured. And then there are times where you just going to get super excited because I really need to share this. And you know, you know that time when you know how it is when you get really excited about something, right? Absolutely. Absolutely. It really depends on. Ricky Locke (08:46.299) Yeah. Ricky Locke (08:58.331) Yeah, it's like cats and dogs, isn't it? From back on the NLP thing. Yeah, cats and dogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ash (09:08.11) It's fitting the right words and the right energy to whatever you're trying to deliver. Um, and yeah, there are times where I'll be bouncing around the room, super excited and talking a million miles an hour. And there's other times where it's like, right now we need to really focus. Ricky Locke (09:13.007) Yeah. Ricky Locke (09:26.203) Interesting then just to call back to the question. So what is the unobvious thing that you struggle with? So is it something because I'm not I'm not sure if it is something you struggle with or maybe I might be wrong, but I'm assuming that it's quite a nice balance for you. Or am I wrong? Is it something you really struggle with? Ash (09:32.364) Mm. Ash (09:41.838) The, no, the struggle is finding that balance. I think the, like, for example, say the, during the pandemic, for example, when I was just in this room, I mean, this was one of the reasons I started recording videos in the first place, because my extroverted side wasn't getting any love, wasn't getting any attention. There was no room. There were no people to entertain. There was no other energies in the room. Ricky Locke (09:46.843) Yeah. Ash (10:10.414) And that can be, that can be a struggle. And I've really had to work on a personal level, you know, when it can have an influence on say relationships, because, you know, there's certain people that want you to be there and present all the time. And I simply can't do that. And it's finding that it's finding that balance. You know, I, I usually like when I, when I meet people for the first time or I get into a kind of romantic relationship, I usually give them a disclaimer. It's not personal. This, I am likely to disappear. Um, it's not personal. I just need to decompress and, and that can be, I think some people, I, if they don't have that, it takes some. Ricky Locke (10:44.123) Hahaha. Nice, yeah, that's good. Yeah, don't think odd of me, this is just me, yeah. You Ricky Locke (11:05.209) Yeah. Ash (11:05.294) It takes a lot of conversations and awareness as well. And sometimes those conversations are hard and it's a learning process, but there are still times where it's learning to really pay attention to the signals and going out, you know, actually now time out, you've spent too much time here. So, so it's learning to find the schedule, learning to find the time. Um, so that's why like Tuesday mornings, for example, now I block them off. Ricky Locke (11:13.339) Yeah. Ricky Locke (11:22.137) Yeah, yeah. Ash (11:34.316) No one's booking a call with me. There's no sales cause there's no business. I get up when I get up on a Tuesday morning and I just, yeah, but that was a learning curve in the past. I would have just tried to crack on and in the end I've just ended up exhausted. Ricky Locke (11:50.363) Yeah, yeah. Wow. Well, knowing what you now know, obviously from this experience, from understanding about the, the obvious thing that you struggle with, what does this make you think and feel going forward? Ash (12:06.126) Oh, I like that. There was some NLP language patterns there as well, right? You just Milton'd me. Okay. Ricky Locke (12:14.875) Yeah. Ash (12:18.19) I'm right. So the, I think again, it's an ongoing process. I think the. I think for me, when you asked that question, I lean towards kind of fixed mindset, growth mindset, the kind of the work of Carol Dweck there and... Ricky Locke (12:40.771) Yeah. Ash (12:44.174) There's, I think there's sometimes this notion really that you are always the same and you're not changing, but that is both physically and physiologically not true. You are always changing. You are literally if 10 years from, if you go 10 years in the past, you are literally a different person biologically and mentally. Um, and I think there's that notion that you're always changing. Um, the... Ricky Locke (12:55.195) Yeah. Ricky Locke (13:04.603) Yeah. Ricky Locke (13:12.795) Yeah. Ash (13:13.742) What is true now might not be true in the future. What was true in the past is made might not be true now. Um, so I believe it's, it's all about having that awareness and figuring out, okay, how can I make this work? So like I said a minute ago about the knowing I need to take time off. I didn't know that in the past and maybe there's stuff to learn. Ricky Locke (13:16.955) Yeah. Ash (13:38.094) moving forwards. Like recently, for example, I knew I had to start doing more face to face work for the extroverted side, not online work, actually in a room with people. I, but you learn that by going through the process, the process we call life. Ricky Locke (13:53.115) Yeah,