Many Adults Are Learning What Children Needed First

The Problem Isn’t That You’re Emotional

Have you ever been told that you’re “too emotional”? Maybe someone said it to you when you were crying.Maybe you heard it as a child when your feelings felt too big.Maybe you have said it to yourself.Or maybe you have seen it said about an entire group of people. In this episode of W Ap Koute M, M Ap Koute W, I’m reflecting on why the phrase “you’re too emotional” has been sitting heavy with me. Not because emotional regulation is not important.Not because every emotional reaction is healthy.But because I believe those words often teach something very different than what we intend. When we say “you’re too emotional” to a child, we may think we are teaching them to calm down. But many times, what they actually learn is: “My emotions are a problem.”“I am too much.”“It is not safe to show what I feel.” And if no one teaches that child how to understand, express, and regulate their emotions, they may grow into an adult who either suppresses everything, disconnects from what they feel, or becomes overwhelmed by emotions they were never taught how to hold. This conversation also connects to something I have been noticing in our Haitian community. As Haiti returned to the World Cup and conversations unfolded online about the team, the jersey, pride, history, and representation, I kept seeing one comment repeated in different ways: “Haitians are too emotional.” That phrase bothered me. Because when I think about our history as Haitian people: slavery, revolution, political instability, natural disasters, migration, separation from family, economic hardship, and generations of survival, I wonder what it would mean to approach our emotions with more context and compassion. Survival and emotional regulation are not the same thing. When your nervous system is focused on surviving, there is not always space to slow down, process, reflect, and learn how to regulate. So in this episode, I’m asking a different question: What if the problem is not that we are too emotional?What if many of us were never given enough space, safety, or support to learn what to do with our emotions? This episode is an invitation to move from shame to curiosity. Instead of saying, “You’re too emotional,” maybe we can begin asking: “What is this emotion trying to communicate?”“What happened?”“What do I need right now?”“How can I respond instead of simply react?” Because maybe the goal is not to have fewer emotions. Maybe the goal is to understand them better. The next time you feel emotional, or the next time someone around you becomes emotional, pause and ask: What might this emotion be trying to communicate? Not every feeling needs to control your response. But every feeling deserves to be understood. If this conversation resonated with you, I would love to invite you into Lakay Within. Lakay Within is a monthly virtual gathering rooted in Haitian womanhood, healing, reflection, and connection. It is a space where we slow down, breathe, reflect, and make room for the parts of ourselves we often carry quietly. Our next gathering is on July 14 at 7 PM CT Virtual If you are not quite ready for the monthly gathering, you are also welcome to join the free Lakay Within Community, where I share reflections, journal prompts, wellness tools, and encouragement throughout the month. Click on the Links here for Lakay Within [https://www.transformativehealingpathways.com/lakaywithin] and the free community [https://www.transformativehealingpathways.com/lakay-within-community] I offer therapy services for adults in California and Texas. My work focuses on anxiety, depression, trauma, emotional healing, nervous system awareness, and helping clients reconnect with themselves with compassion. You can learn more about therapy services through Transformative Healing Pathways. Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or individualized mental health treatment. If you are struggling emotionally or feel unsafe, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or a crisis support resource in your area. If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who may need this reminder. And remember: Keep choosing yourself.Keep learning.Let’s heal, grow, and thrive together. Get full access to Aurelie Zephir LMFT at aureliezephir.substack.com/subscribe [https://aureliezephir.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

When Healing Revealed the Role I Couldn't Put Down

For years, people have asked me whether therapists ever stop being therapists. Does your therapist brain ever turn off?Do you analyze everyone around you?What is it like being married to a therapist? For a long time, I thought I knew the answer. Then I attended a healing retreat and realized something I had never seen before. In this personal episode, I share the experience that helped me understand the difference between carrying a professional role and carrying an identity. What started as a simple journaling exercise turned into a powerful realization about the roles we wear, the space we take up, and the ways we sometimes put ourselves last without even realizing it. This episode explores: • Why I thought I had left my therapist hat at work• The surprising realization I had at a women’s retreat• The difference between doing therapy and holding space• The roles many of us carry without noticing• Why healing sometimes reveals what we’ve been carrying all along Whether you’re a therapist, caregiver, parent, helper, oldest daughter, or simply someone who often puts others first, I hope this conversation invites you to reflect on the roles you carry and whether you’ve given yourself permission to simply be. If this reflection resonates with you and you're looking for a space to continue these kinds of conversations in community, I'd love to invite you to join us Lakay Within is a monthly virtual gathering centered on reflection, emotional wellness, healing, and connection. The next Lakay Within gathering will take place on July 14th. If you’re not ready for the virtual gathering, you’re also welcome to join the free Lakay Within Community here [https://www.transformativehealingpathways.com/lakay-within-community], where I share reflections, journal prompts, wellness tools, and updates throughout the month. Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or mental health treatment. Aurelie Zephir is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist providing therapy services in California and Texas. Learn more at:Psychology Today [https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/1682240] Get full access to Aurelie Zephir LMFT at aureliezephir.substack.com/subscribe [https://aureliezephir.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

What We've Lost: Haitian Identity, Culture & Returning to Our Roots | With Kimberly Lauriston, LCSW

In this episode of W Ap Koute M, M Ap Koute W, I sit down with Kimberly Lauriston, LCSW-S, to explore Haitian identity, culture, ancestry, spirituality, and healing. Together, we reflect on what it was like growing up Haitian in the United States, the traditions that connected us to our culture, and the ways migration can shape our sense of identity. We discuss the wisdom passed down through our grandparents, the cultural practices that have been lost over time, and why so many people in our generation are searching for ways to reconnect with their roots. This conversation also explores the relationship between culture, faith, community, ancestral knowledge, and healing. We talk about what happens when traditions are not passed down, the importance of preserving cultural knowledge, and how returning to our roots can help us better understand ourselves. If you have ever wondered what parts of Haitian culture have been lost, what our elders carried, or how we can preserve our identity for future generations, this conversation is for you. Lakay Within is our ongoing community gathering where we come together to reflect, heal, and grow in a safe, culturally grounded space.” Then it makes sense when you invite them to join the community or sign up for the next gathering. Let’s give them context so they know why it’s meaningful! Join the free Lakay Within Community:https://chat.whatsapp.com/KOhFWacGTPGGwkQ6UqDLjW [https://chat.whatsapp.com/KOhFWacGTPGGwkQ6UqDLjW] The next Lakay Within virtual gathering takes place June 9th at 7 PM CT. Learn more about Lakay Within, and therapy services:www.transformativehealingpathways.com [https://www.transformativehealingpathways.com/] About Kimberly Lauriston, LCSW-S Kimberly Lauriston is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Clinical Director of Inmost Ease Counseling & Behavioral Health, and consultant with Elevation Coaching & Consulting. She provides teletherapy services in Texas and Florida. Website: www.inmosteasecounseling.com [http://www.inmosteasecounseling.com/] Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or mental health treatment. Aurelie Zephir is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist offering therapy services in California and Texas. Kimberly Lauriston is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker offering teletherapy services in Texas and Florida. Get full access to Aurelie Zephir LMFT at aureliezephir.substack.com/subscribe [https://aureliezephir.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Strong, Resilient… and Still Carrying So Much

In this special video episode of W Ap Koute M, M Ap Koute W, I sit down with Dr. Gaetane Saint-Victor for a deeply honest conversation about healing in the Black and Haitian communities. Together, we explore the emotional weight many people carry silently while still appearing “strong” to the world. We talk about the “strong Black woman” archetype, perfectionism, survival mode, vulnerability, generational trauma, therapy resistance in our communities, and the pressure so many people feel to keep going no matter what they are carrying internally. We also discuss how culture, identity, faith, and past experiences shape the way people understand healing — and why asking for help can feel so difficult for many of us. This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt emotionally exhausted while still showing up for everyone else, struggled to slow down, or questioned whether they are allowed to prioritize their own healing. I truly believe this episode will resonate with so many people in our community, and I hope it reminds you that healing does not make you weak — it allows you to finally put down what you were never meant to carry alone. The next Lakay Within virtual gathering will take place on June 9th at 7 PM CT. Lakay Within is a community healing space created for reflection, emotional wellness, and reconnecting with yourself in a gentle and supportive environment. You can learn more about Lakay Within, individual therapy services, workshops, and upcoming offerings on my website [https://www.transformativehealingpathways.com/] Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or mental health treatment. Aurelie Zephir is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist offering therapy services in California and Texas. Get full access to Aurelie Zephir LMFT at aureliezephir.substack.com/subscribe [https://aureliezephir.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Many Adults Are Learning What Children Needed First

There’s a common belief that inner child healing is about being overly emotional, avoiding responsibility, or “coddling” yourself. But that’s not what it is. In this episode, I explore what inner child work actually means—and why so many adults are learning emotional skills later in life that they needed much earlier. For the first time, I’m joined by a very special guest: my daughter. Through our conversation, you’ll hear what emotional awareness can look like when it’s nurtured early—naming feelings, expressing them safely, and learning how to regulate. Afterward, I reflect on what happens when those tools are missing, and how that can show up later in life as: * anxiety * people pleasing * emotional shutdown * fear of rejection * difficulty trusting This episode is a gentle but powerful reminder: Healing is not about going backward. It’s about responding differently now. Lakay Within If this episode resonated with you, I’d love to invite you into Lakay Within. Next gathering: May 12th Disclaimer This podcast is educational and not a substitute for therapy. Aurelie Zephir offers therapy in California and Texas [https://www.transformativehealingpathways.com/]. Get full access to Aurelie Zephir LMFT at aureliezephir.substack.com/subscribe [https://aureliezephir.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]