73: How the Narcissist "Serves"

73: How the Narcissist "Serves"

Have you ever been on the receiving end of something where the giver insists they are serving you, yet, it’s impossible to feel grateful because it isn’t something you ever wanted or asked for? What you did request in clear language was completely ignored and the giver substituted something else entirely, yet they were upset when you aren’t excited about what they have deigned to give you? Narcissists are famous, or perhaps infamous, for “serving” in ways that aren’t serving at all. Something feels wrong or off in their purported efforts. You are left feeling empty, and sometimes even resentful. You don’t feel like you are being served. And that’s because you aren’t. Narcissists aren’t capable of being thoughtful or thinking of others. "Service" to them is always performed to meet a selfish needs such as control, love bombing, or to help their public image. It is okay to be upset and recognize when you were served in selfish ways and then gaslighted when you weren’t overcome with gratitude for something you never wanted or asked for. #alifefolded #laineycathan #narcissisticabuse [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/narcissisticabuse?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #narcissism  #emotionalabuse [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/emotionalabuse?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #psychologicalabuse [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/psychologicalabuse?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #gaslighting [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/gaslighting?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #healingfromabuse [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/healingfromabuse?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #narcissisticabusesurvivor [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/narcissisticabusesurvivor?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #relationshiptrauma [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/relationshiptrauma?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #traumahealing [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/traumahealing?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #selftrust [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/selftrust?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #healingjourney [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/healingjourney?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #mentalhealthawareness [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/mentalhealthawareness?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #innerhealing [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/innerhealing?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #toxicrelationships [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/toxicrelationships?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #resiliencebeyondnarcissism [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/resiliencebeyondnarcissism?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #nervoussystemhealing [https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/nervoussystemhealing?__eep__=6&__cft__%5B0%5D=AZYAqNafDBzou9gzj_aXHtNrsUtai6nFL6tpbA-joDLZcCEjpzh8-F9P7d4_Xpc94zQRKpxZqk0vsQgpDUKNTjbEuCBPiNWl_yu8L18kBVHSjW5WMDUpOZrDQeaMCFTTk445l0e3k-1Ou5wZ39LHFlaaRU6XprZvCOH0XBplPdr7BlLPoAl5erwGV2ZC34s8c-H6_aDF_iWSYkbp6Raski1l&__tn__=*NK-y-R] #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101

72: What Porn is Doing to Your Body, Mind, and Soul

Porn is not a harmless pastime. It chips away at relationships. It damages intimacy. It destroys trust. This episode discusses what is happening in the porn user's body, mind, and soul. The news of pornography's devastating effects is troubling, but there is also great hope of healing, change, and reclamation.  #alifefolded #laineycathan #stopporn #pornography #pornkills #pornkillslove #pornaddiction #nomore #fightthenewdrug https://fightthenewdrug.org

71: Why Narcissists Leave When You Get Sick

We all have natural expectations with committed relationships--that our spouse or partner will be there for us during difficult times. After all, don't we promise in poverty and wealth, in sickness and health? Everyone knows that life brings ups and downs for all relationships. But, that person you have given so much love and support to will do the same when you need a little help. Right? Sadly, partners of narcissistic individuals often find that when they are not highly functioning they are met with disdain, impatience, and dismissal. Why can't a narcissist provide even the most basic care and compassion to those who love them? #alifefolded #laineycathan #narcissisticabuse #narcissism  #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #gaslighting #healingfromabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor #relationshiptrauma #traumahealing #selftrust #healingjourney #mentalhealthawareness #innerhealing #toxicrelationships #resiliencebeyondnarcissism #nervoussystemhealing #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101

70: The Gratitude Trap

Have you ever had someone respond to your troubles with something like, "Well, I choose to focus on gratitude and what I do have versus what I don't." Ouch! Gratitude is an amazing, and necessary, emotion. Expressing gratitude can do much to improve our lives. However, it can also be a trap. If we constantly force ourselves to put a positive spin on anything that happens, we can repress our feelings versus processing them. We can also stagnate in our personal development because we feel guilty for wanting more in our lives. Be grateful. Be tremendously and profoundly grateful. But don't feel bad about yourself is you are both grateful and experiencing a struggle. Life is full of duality and a "but-and" attitude can help us to acknowledge difficulties, and still process our pain.  #alifefolded #laineycathan #gratitude #gratitudetrap #guiltfree #emotionsmatter #processingemotions #feelingsarevalid #feelingsarereal

69: Target-Love Bomb-Devalue-Discard

There is a somewhat predicable pattern that narcissists use when securing their next source of supply or fuel. Or, when keeping their current supply at the ready. That is targeting, love bombing, devaluing, and discarding. This cycle will continually perpetuate itself unless we become educated, aware, and boundaried. We have a right be loved and honored by healthy individuals. Only we can end the narcissistic cycle of toxicity and pain. #alifefolded #lovebombing #narcissisticdiscard #selflove #selfloved #selflovematters #selfloveera #selflovechallenage #selfcare #selfcarematters #selfcarejourney #narcissisticabuse #manipulation #manipulationtactics #manipulationawareness #narcissist #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissistsaredangerous #gaslightingrecovery #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #gaslightingsurvivor #gaslighting101