Why Desire Disappears After Kids | Cindy Scharkey, RN on Energy, Intimacy & the Conditions for Desire

Build Around Your Brain | Turning Corporate Skills into a Business

You picked a major at eighteen, and somehow that one decision still gets to decide what you are allowed to do with the rest of your life. In this catch-up, Lorissa and Alex get into leaving corporate, translating those skills into something of your own, and why the systems that actually stick are the ones built around how your brain works instead of someone else's. What We Cover → Why the major you picked at eighteen is not the lane you are stuck in, and how Lorissa and Alex each rebuilt a corporate skill set into something of their own → Lorissa on launching Lorissa's List before it was ready, and why a messy first version beats waiting for perfect → Why most task systems fall apart by Friday, and what makes one finally stick CEO Mode By the end of this one, Alex is describing the exact system she has taught one-on-one for years, the one that gets your whole life, work and home, out of your head and into one place you actually trust. It is now a course called CEO Mode, built to do what Lorissa and Alex talk about in this episode, working with how your brain actually operates instead of fighting it. You sit down for an afternoon and build the whole thing. 👉 CEO Mode [https://alexpayetta.com/ceomode?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=description&utm_campaign=ceo_mode_launch] Connect With Us Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com [https://lorissaviolet.com/] | @lorissaviolet [https://www.instagram.com/lorissaviolet/] Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com [https://alexpayetta.com/] | @alexpayetta [https://www.instagram.com/alexpayetta/] Timestamps * 0:00 Welcome back, and why this one is a catch-up * 0:15 Lorissa's List, and the corporate job it traces back to * 2:15 Taking your skills out of corporate without making the job your identity * 4:16 Alex on turning Fortune 500 systems work into coaching women * 4:50 You are not stuck in the lane you picked at eighteen * 6:06 Getting fired, and why the next thing comes in phases * 7:18 Launching Lorissa's List before it was ready * 9:08 The brand-content year that did not work, and playing to your strengths * 10:14 Phase two of Lorissa's List and learning by shipping * 11:08 Life update: five days solo with the kids * 12:37 Alex on building CEO Mode * 13:36 Getting the mental load out of your head * 15:22 Why Asana works for life at home too * 18:28 Build around your brain, not someone else's

Why Desire Disappears After Kids | Cindy Scharkey, RN on Energy, Intimacy & the Conditions for Desire

By the time you fall into bed at the end of the day, your body has nothing left. Not for affection, not for intimacy, not for the part of your relationship that used to be effortless. Nobody told you this was the trade. Cindy Scharkey has been an OB/GYN nurse for almost 40 years, and what she kept hearing from women is that nobody is having this conversation. So she started having it. What You'll Learn → The "one tank of energy" reality and why your sex life is the first thing it drains → Why scheduling sex doesn't work the way most couples do it (and what does) → What "responsive desire" is, and why most women have been measuring against the wrong thing their whole lives Take the Quiz Cindy says it's almost never desire that's the real problem. It's the CONDITIONS for desire, and those conditions don't exist when your body's been stuck in fight-or-flight all day. The Stress Loop quiz takes 2 minutes to name which of the four loops is keeping your body in stress mode, plus the morning move that breaks it. 👉 https://alexpayetta.com/quiz [https://alexpayetta.com/quiz] Connect With Us Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com [https://lorissaviolet.com/] | @lorissaviolet [https://www.instagram.com/lorissaviolet/] Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com [https://alexpayetta.com/] | @alexpayetta [https://www.instagram.com/alexpayetta/] Cindy Scharkey, RN cindyscharkey.com [https://cindyscharkey.com/] | @cindyscharkey [https://www.instagram.com/cindyscharkey/] Mentioned in This Episode * Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden [https://www.amazon.com/Permission-Pleasure-Tending-Sexual-Garden/dp/1964010047] — Cindy's book, written like a self-guided retreat with journaling prompts and exercises for any age and stage * Permission for Pleasure podcast [https://cindyscharkey.com/podcast] — Cindy's podcast, short topical episodes good for couples to listen to together * Uberlube [https://uberlube.com/] — Cindy's recommended lube. Code CINDY for 15% off * Gina Ogden's "turn-ons and turn-offs" framework — the foundational exercise Cindy uses with every woman she works with * The "yes / no / maybe" communication framework — Cindy's low-pressure way to start the conversation with a partner Timestamps 0:00 Why this conversation, why now 1:30 Cindy's background and why she started talking about this publicly 6:00 The "one tank of energy" — sex pulls from the same well as everything else 10:00 Responsive vs spontaneous desire (and why the movies lied) 15:00 Scheduling intimacy without it feeling like a chore 20:00 The 4% change that brings desire back 25:00 The fear-of-pregnancy "hand brake" nobody talks about 30:00 Decentering intercourse — what "sex" can actually mean 35:00 Where to start when you don't know where to start 40:00 Why painful sex isn't normal, and the lube conversation

Emma Grede's "Three-Hour Mom" Take, And the Judgment Going Both Ways

Sometimes you're in the rhythm and everything feels good. Sometimes the rhythm breaks and you have to rebuild the whole thing. In this catch-up, one of us is in each season. Alex and Lorissa catch up on where they each actually are right now.. one of them in the most grounded season she's had in a while, one of them hitting a wall and re-working how she runs her week. The conversation wanders into the Emma Grede "three-hour mom" debate, the judgment between working moms and stay-at-home moms, and why kids turn out how they turn out regardless of what we do. What We Cover → The moment Lorissa realized compounding Fridays was never going to catch her up → The Emma Grede "three-hour mom" take and the problem with judging other parents' choices → Why Lorissa's third baby year has felt completely different than her first two Connect With Us Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com [https://alexpayetta.com/] | @alexpayetta [https://www.instagram.com/alexpayetta/] Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com [https://lorissaviolet.com/] | @lorissaviolet [https://www.instagram.com/lorissaviolet/] Timestamps 0:00 Alex's "I feel lucky all the time" season 2:15 Morning gratitude walks with a 4-year-old 3:48 Lorissa hits a wall, Lorissa's List takes off, and the one-day-a-week model breaks 6:30 Why being particular means being involved 8:10 Not blending work and kids, even when the baby is just chilling 11:22 Third-baby year: why time actually feels slower this time 14:05 The Emma Grede three-hour mom debate 17:40 Judgment between working moms and stay-at-home moms 20:18 The friend whose stay-at-home mom couldn't let them travel 22:00 Nature versus nurture, and kids who turn out great anyway

It All Comes Back To Blood Sugar | Dr. Sam Riley on Energy Crashes, Cravings & Hormones

You keep trying new supplements, new workouts, new morning routines, and something still feels off. The thing nobody is checking is usually the thing running underneath all of it. Dr. Sam Riley is back for round two. This time we go deep on blood sugar.. why it sits at the root of hair loss, insomnia, weight that won't budge, hormone issues, fertility struggles, and the anxiety that seems to come out of nowhere. What You'll Learn → The everyday symptom most women write off as "just hangry" that's actually a red flag for something much bigger → Why intermittent fasting is making a huge group of women feel worse, and how to know if you're in that group → The four foods Dr. Sam pulls first when someone says "I've tried everything and nothing is working" → What a continuous glucose monitor actually shows you in two weeks (and why the first week you shouldn't change a thing) → The protein number that makes women's jaws hit the floor, and the math that makes it doable → How food order at a single meal can completely change the way your body responds Wake Up Different Dr. Sam kept coming back to the same thing.. consistency with the basics. That's 90% of the work right there. Wake Up Different is the 28-day rebuild that turns the basics.. protein first, regulated, fueled.. from a daily decision into your default. 👉 https://alexpayetta.com/wakeupdifferent [https://alexpayetta.com/wakeupdifferent] Connect With Us Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com [https://lorissaviolet.com/] | @lorissaviolet [https://www.instagram.com/lorissaviolet/] Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com [https://alexpayetta.com/] | @alexpayetta [https://www.instagram.com/alexpayetta/] Dr. Sam Riley drsamriley.com [https://drsamriley.com/] | @dr.samriley [https://www.instagram.com/dr.samriley/] Mentioned in This Episode * Ashley Barrett Wellness [https://www.barrettwellnesscenter.com/] — Virtual Nutritional Therapy Practitioner * Diabetes with Dani [https://www.instagram.com/diabeteswithdani/] — Creator of Conquer Your Diabetes, a Type 1 program for kids and women * Cyrex Labs [https://www.cyrexlabs.com/] — food sensitivity and autoimmune testing Timestamps 0:00 Why blood sugar is almost every woman's first problem 4:12 Hangry, sweaty, anxious, emotional, the Snickers commercial response 8:45 What a continuous glucose monitor actually tells you 14:20 Hair thinning, insomnia, weight that won't budge 19:08 Cortisol, chronic stress, and the insulin receptor shut-down 24:30 The protein math for women and how to actually hit it 30:15 Food order at a meal and why it completely changes blood sugar response 36:40 PCOS, fertility, and the vegan-to-pregnant story 42:50 Diet Coke culture, carbonation, and what it does to digestion 48:22 The four foods Dr. Sam pulls first 54:10 Kids, tantrums, night waking, and the parasite conversation nobody is having 1:02:05 Workouts, fasting, and fueling your body 1:08:40 Where to actually start today

Be Your Own Camp | Why I Finally Sleep-Trained

Eight months of broken sleep and a head full of shoulds. This is the mini where Alex talks about sleep-training Scarlett, and the hardest part of it actually being just undoing everything she'd told herself about what she was supposed to do. Lorissa, who's immune to the shoulds, has great advice on how to ignore the conflicting noise. What We Cover → Why "what's best for the baby" isn't what you think → How anti-sleep-training messaging kept Alex questioning her own intuition for eight months straight before she called it → Why the "shoulds" in motherhood can sneak up on you, and what it means to "be your own camp" If You're Running on Empty Alex got through eight months of broken sleep because she had the routines in place to take care of herself. If yours aren't holding, Wake Up Different is the 28-day rebuild. 👉 alexpayetta.com/wake-up-different [https://alexpayetta.com/wake-up-different] Connect With Us Lorissa Violet lorissaviolet.com [https://lorissaviolet.com/] | @lorissaviolet [https://www.instagram.com/lorissaviolet/] Alex Payetta alexpayetta.com [https://alexpayetta.com/] | @alexpayetta [https://www.instagram.com/alexpayetta/] Timestamps * 0:00 Alex is finally sleeping * 1:30 Eight months of broken sleep and the home birth community * 4:00 Co-sleeping, home birth, and why they get tied together * 7:00 Identity, camps, and the should spiral * 10:00 Weaning Scarlett and letting the baby decide * 13:00 "Be your own camp"