Trauma, Kink, Healing & PDA

How PDA & BPD Impact Romantic Relationships

In this episode, we’re examining how PDA & BPD can impact romantic relationships. If you’re wondering how to avoid triggers, feel loved, and build connection with your partner, this episode is for you! We're answering these listener questions: * I need a lot of alone time to regulate my nervous system, but my partner takes it personally and thinks I don't love them. I just sit around and do nothing so its not like I’m having fun without her. The worse part is I think like that too when she’s playing star dew valley for hours even though I know it’s not that. How do I get my space, have time for my special interests and decompress without making her feel abandoned or unwanted? I do like time with her but a guys got a job and bills to pay so I have to use energy at work and try to do overtime for extra cash. If it changes your guys answer, she is ADHD BPD and I am autistic PDA. * I’m 26 and got told I’m borderline last year by a therapist. I think I have rejection sensitivity and maybe even PDA. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about two years and I know we need to talk about our relationship issues, but the moment my partner says 'we need to talk' my brain completely shuts down and I want to run away and hide, or just dump them even though stuff is normally really good. How can we handle our issues without triggering me to run away or shutdown? He thinks I’m projecting my trauma on him because my ex was actually abusive but I don’t think of him as my ex at all. Show Notes: * THRIVE (18+): www.thrivevirtualcon.com/ [https://www.thrivevirtualcon.com/]  * Kink Trust Pixie Dust (for therapists): www.cryptidlearns.com/course/kink-healing-inner-child-live [https://www.cryptidlearns.com/course/kink-healing-inner-child-live]  * Sabrina’s BPD Stigma & Teens training (for therapists): https://www.neuropebble.com/bpd-teengirls [https://www.neuropebble.com/bpd-teengirls] To ask us questions, fill out the form at www.neurokink.org/auys [https://www.neurokink.org/auys] Find more content on Patreon (18+): www.patreon.com/AcesUpYourSleevePodcast [https://www.patreon.com/AcesUpYourSleevePodcast] Sabrina at www.radicalingingishtsconsulting.com [https://www.radicalingingishtsconsulting.com] or @radicalinsightsconsulting on social media (FB [https://www.facebook.com/radicalinsightsconsulting], IG [https://www.instagram.com/radicalinsightsconsulting/]) Kade at www.cryptidlearns.com [https://www.cryptidlearns.com/] or @cryptidlearns on social media (FB [http://www.facebook.com/cryptidlearns], IG [http://www.instagram.com/cryptidlearns])

Stop Believing These Autism Myths

In this episode, we are busting the most common autism myths that still circulate today! Whether you are an autistic adult, a parent of a newly diagnosed child, a therapist like us, or an educator, understanding the truth about autistic individuals is crucial.  We're answering this listener question: * My partner says I’m "cold" or "dismissive" when we argue because I try to find logical solutions instead of just comforting them. How do I explain my communication style without sounding like I'm making excuses or not caring? And we're covering myths like: - Autistic sense of justice or justice sensitivity - Whether or not autistic people have empathy - Literal thinking - Direct communication Plus other common things that get thrown around all of the time when discussing autism or the autism spectrum. Want to check in on your own knowledge? Give it a listen! * Mixed Neurotypes episode w Kyle Rutherford: https://www.patreon.com/posts/145865983?collection=1767142 [https://www.patreon.com/posts/145865983?collection=1767142] * THRIVE: www.thrivevirtualcon.com/ [https://www.thrivevirtualcon.com/] * Kink Trust Pixie Dust: www.cryptidlearns.com/course/kink-healing-inner-child-live [https://www.cryptidlearns.com/course/kink-healing-inner-child-live] To ask us questions, fill out the form at www.neurokink.org/auys [https://www.neurokink.org/auys] Find more content on Patreon (18+): www.patreon.com/AcesUpYourSleevePodcast [https://www.patreon.com/AcesUpYourSleevePodcast] Sabrina at www.radicalingingishtsconsulting.com [https://www.radicalingingishtsconsulting.com] or @radicalinsightsconsulting on social media (FB [https://www.facebook.com/radicalinsightsconsulting], IG [https://www.instagram.com/radicalinsightsconsulting/]) Kade at www.cryptidlearns.com [https://www.cryptidlearns.com/] or @cryptidlearns on social media (FB [http://www.facebook.com/cryptidlearns], IG [http://www.instagram.com/cryptidlearns])

Trauma, Kink, Healing & PDA

If submission has ever felt like a demand and triggered your PDA, this week’s episode might resonate with you! We’re answering if you’re a “bad sub” if you’re a PDAer, how to navigate explaining your nervous system to a partner, and why kink is healing. We explore a few ways people can heal from trauma and feel empowered by kink. Join us! BTW: This is part 3 of our 3-parter mini series on kink as we look forward to an event later this month called THRIVE [https://thrivevirtualcon.com/]; it’s a virtual BDSM and mental health conference. THRIVE is from May 29 - 31st, all online, and it’s by donation - your donation towards your ticket ends up going right to the volunteer staff and presenters! On this week’s Upping the Ante, our Patreon bonus content is focused on CPTSD, “disappearing” or “dissolving” during sex, and if it makes you a bad partner if you don’t reciprocate. If you’ve ever wondered why autistic and AuDHD focus seems to be different than allistic folks’ attention- especially in the bedroom- then you’ll want to hear what we’ve got to say! (Also, if you’re a mental health professional, this is your last week to sign up for the first ever GEMS Neurodiversity Summit [http://www.neuropebble.com/gems-summit] - this one’s focus is Autistic + ADHD Teens. It’s on May 16th starting at 10am Pacific and it’s going to be SO fun! We’re hoping to build a tightknit community and to continue hosting GEMS Summits in the future.) * Find us at GEMS Neurodiversity Summit: Autistic + ADHD Teens this week: www.neuropebble.com/gems-summit [https://www.neuropebble.com/gems-summit]  * GEMS Neurodiversity Community for therapists on FB: https://www.facebook.com/groups/924737776755804 [https://www.facebook.com/groups/924737776755804]  * Join us at THRIVE later this month: https://thrivevirtualcon.com/ [https://thrivevirtualcon.com/] * Therapists can take a sneak peek at our June 17th, 2026, event here: https://www.cryptidlearns.com/course/kink-healing-inner-child-live [https://www.cryptidlearns.com/course/kink-healing-inner-child-live] To ask us questions, fill out the form at www.neurokink.org/auys [https://www.neurokink.org/auys] Find more content on Patreon (18+): www.patreon.com/AcesUpYourSleevePodcast [https://www.patreon.com/AcesUpYourSleevePodcast] Sabrina at www.radicalingingishtsconsulting.com [https://www.radicalingingishtsconsulting.com] or @radicalinsightsconsulting on social media (FB [https://www.facebook.com/radicalinsightsconsulting], IG [https://www.instagram.com/radicalinsightsconsulting/]) Kade at www.cryptidlearns.com [https://www.cryptidlearns.com/] or @cryptidlearns on social media (FB [http://www.facebook.com/cryptidlearns], IG [http://www.instagram.com/cryptidlearns])

ADHD Hyperfocus on Kink

Have you ever wondered where that praise or degradation kink stems from? Or if it's possible to hyperfocus on kink and fetishes? Let's talk about it on this week's episode of Aces Up Your Sleeve! We're talking about the importance of meeting your needs, libido discrepancy, differences of opinion when it comes to kink, and more! We're answering: * Is it normal to develop a praise kink when you grew up AuDHD and never got good feedback from parents or teachers or anyone really? * So my husband (DX, no medication) gets these phases where he needs sex / kinky things in his life SO badly, he becomes really desperate. Like - talking about it in his sleep, getting really upset, sad, angry, dramatic about the topic etc. sometimes up to a point where the intensity of it all scares me. Context: We've been together for 10 years, have sex on average l'a say 1-2x per week, do looots of crazy kinky things. Which I think is pretty damn great, but it never seems to be good enough for him. We also have an open relationship so he'd even be free to find other outlets if his drive is just higher than mine. But he says he needs this with me. The only other situations where I see him getting that intense are when he hyperfocuses on problems... So I'm wondering if hyperfocussing on sexual needs is a thing that happens for people with ADHD? If so - what could be done about it? PS: Lately he's worked on some self-reflection and communication skills, which heeeelps so much, mostly cause he's a bit more at ease and it's not always a catastrophe to him if I don't want to do something kinky or have sex. But it's still not easy and creating a lot of pressure for me... BTW: This is part 2 of our 3-parter mini series on kink as we look forward to an event later this month. It’s called THRIVE [https://thrivevirtualcon.com/] and it’s a virtual BDSM and mental health conference. THRIVE is from May 29 - 31st, all online, and it’s by donation - your donation towards your ticket ends up going right to the volunteer staff and presenters! On Upping the Ante, we’re helping you find ways to avoid castration and still get your desires and needs for intimacy met! We explore challenges that may be unique to ADHDers when it comes to sex, connection, and even climax. Give it a listen! To ask us questions, fill out the form at www.neurokink.org/auys [https://www.neurokink.org/auys] Find more content on Patreon (18+): www.patreon.com/AcesUpYourSleevePodcast [https://www.patreon.com/AcesUpYourSleevePodcast] Sabrina at www.radicalingingishtsconsulting.com [https://www.radicalingingishtsconsulting.com] or @radicalinsightsconsulting on social media (FB [https://www.facebook.com/radicalinsightsconsulting], IG [https://www.instagram.com/radicalinsightsconsulting/]) Kade at www.cryptidlearns.com [https://www.cryptidlearns.com/] or @cryptidlearns on social media (FB [http://www.facebook.com/cryptidlearns], IG [http://www.instagram.com/cryptidlearns])

Autism & BDSM: Am I Kinky? with Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti

On this week’s episode, we’re joined by the wonderful Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti! Gloria (she/her) is an educator and community discussion facilitator who has been teaching workshops on shame, consent, neurodivergence, and identity in kink communities for several years. As a late-diagnosed autistic woman, she brings both lived experience and thoughtful dialogue to conversations about communication, ethics, and belonging in BDSM spaces. This week, she’s answering listener questions about neurodivergence and kink with us! If you’ve ever wondered if you might be kinky, this episode is for you. We’re also giving some suggestions about how to tell your long-term partner that you’d like to explore kink in the bedroom. We're answering: * I’ve wondered for a while now if I’m kinky or if I just like thinking about kinky things. I’m ADHD and Autistic and have only ever had three partners but we never did anything but what most would call vanilla. Single now so nothing fun’s happening lol. But how do I know if I’m kinky or if it’s just fun to think about? * Hello Aces, I am a 45 yr old late diagnosis autistic woman who has been married for ten years this August. I need help knowing how to tell my husband that I want us to be more adventurous between the sheets. How do I do this? I have never asked for anything of the sort and never complained about our romps in the bedroom. Thank you for any suggestions BTW: This is part 1 of our 3-parter mini series on kink as we look forward to an event later this month. It’s called THRIVE [https://thrivevirtualcon.com/] and it’s a virtual BDSM and mental health conference. THRIVE is from May 29 - 31st, all online, and it’s by donation - your donation towards your ticket ends up going right to the volunteer staff and presenters! (This is for all audiences, not just therapists!) Show notes:  * Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GloriaJacksonNefertiti [https://www.facebook.com/GloriaJacksonNefertiti] * Gloria’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gloriajacksonnefertiti/ [https://www.instagram.com/gloriajacksonnefertiti/] * Gloria’s linktree: https://linktr.ee/gloriajn [https://linktr.ee/gloriajn] * Gloria's recorded presentation on Autism, Kink, and Consent: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KgodjGR59KWPuyvC-ykANaYMr4AUkwdX/view?usp=drive_link [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KgodjGR59KWPuyvC-ykANaYMr4AUkwdX/view?usp=drive_link] To ask us questions, fill out the form at www.neurokink.org/auys [https://www.neurokink.org/auys] Find more content on Patreon (18+): www.patreon.com/AcesUpYourSleevePodcast [https://www.patreon.com/AcesUpYourSleevePodcast] Sabrina at www.radicalingingishtsconsulting.com [https://www.radicalingingishtsconsulting.com] or @radicalinsightsconsulting on social media (FB [https://www.facebook.com/radicalinsightsconsulting], IG [https://www.instagram.com/radicalinsightsconsulting/]) Kade at www.cryptidlearns.com [https://www.cryptidlearns.com/] or @cryptidlearns on social media (FB [http://www.facebook.com/cryptidlearns], IG [http://www.instagram.com/cryptidlearns])