The invisible weight men carry | Dr. Jett Stone

The invisible weight men carry | Dr. Jett Stone

Dr. Jett Stone on loneliness, vulnerability, and getting help Overview Dr. Jett Stone is a clinical psychologist who specializes in treating men. He’s the author of Quiet Your Mind: A Men’s Guide, a Psychology Today columnist, and co-founder of Men’s Therapy Hub—a directory connecting male clients with male therapists launching in the US in 2026. In this conversation, we explore why men struggle to seek help, what they actually say when they finally walk through a therapist’s door, and how the mental health system can better serve them. Chapters 00:00 The Journey to Clinical Psychology 04:54 Working with Men in Therapy1 0:43 Understanding Male Vulnerability 12:18 The Male Loneliness Crisis 17:00 The Concept of Man-Keeping 21:54 The Existential Load on Men 22:29 Understanding the Emotional Burden in Relationships 29:04 The Role of Male Identity in Financial Provision 34:32 The Decline of Family Formation and Its Implications 37:44 Barriers to Mental Health Treatment for Men 44:38 Finding the Right Fit in Therapy Key Topics * The difference between loneliness and alienation—and why alienation may better capture what many men experience * “Mankeeping” and the debate over emotional labor in relationships * The “existential load [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-souls-of-men/202511/the-existential-load-what-dads-carry-that-no-one-sees]” men carry: a chronic vigilance about providing that fuses identity with earning * Why emotional vulnerability feels dangerous to many men * Making therapy work for men: walk-and-talk formats, front-loading clarity, building trust before depth * The decline of male therapists (now just 25% of the field) and why representation matters * Family formation trends and their connection to male wellbeing Quotes - On what men discover in therapy: “There is this private sense of being fundamentally alone and inadequate, with the fear that if I really were to talk about the things I’m now talking about, I would lose respect—I wouldn’t be lovable.” - On vulnerability: “Emotional vulnerability is dangerous. That’s one of the core beliefs that a lot of men come in with.” - On the existential load: “It’s not just money stress. It’s a radar constantly scanning for threats to family survival. It contaminates presence.” Resources * Men’s Therapy Hub [http://menstherapyhub.com] * Dr. Stone’s website [http://www.jettstonephd.com] * Podcast: No Man’s an Island [https://menstherapyhub.co.uk/podcast/] (co-hosted with Chris Hemmings) * Book: Quiet Your Mind: A Men’s Guide [https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/768720/quiet-your-mind-a-mens-guide-by-jett-stone-phd/] Subscribe to All Boy on Substack [https://allboy.substack.com/] for essays and podcasts covering fatherhood, boys’ development, and men’s issues.

Are all-boys schools better for your son? | Ben Smith

Chance Seales sits down with Ben Smith, Head of Research [https://aibm.org/who-we-are/ben-smith/] at the American Institute for Boys and Men (AIBM), to explore whether single-sex schools benefit American boys. They dig into the data from AIBM’s 2025 report [https://aibm.org/research/all-boys-schools-what-do-we-know/] and discuss what’s working in single-sex public schools, what information is missing, and what it actually means for your sons. Underlying research [https://aibm.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Promises-and-Pitfalls-of-Single-Sex-Education_-Final-Report_For-Public-Release.pdf] conducted by Nina Hankins. All Boy on Substack [https://allboy.substack.com/] - subscribe for free Chapters00:00 Current Trends in All-Boys Education02:26 The Impact of All-Boys Schools on Educational Outcomes05:28 Personal Experiences in All-Male Environments08:31 The Role of Self-Selection in Education11:21 Evaluating Evidence and Outcomes of All-Boys Schools13:37 The Impact of Single-Sex Education on Academic Outcomes19:23 Building Relationships and Character Development in Boys' Education24:48 The Importance of Social-Emotional Learning29:27 International Insights on Single-Sex Education34:39 Generalizability of Research Findings38:21 The Role of Male Teachers in Education40:51 Individual Perspectives on All-Boys Schools The Promise of All-Boys Schools * Schools with all-boys models have shown lower delinquency, higher engagement, and higher teacher expectations internationally * Proponents say teachers develop deeper relationships with students and tailor instruction to developmental needs * Most accessible in urban charter systems serving majority-minority and low-income communities The Legal & Policy Landscape * Single-sex public schools became possible after 2001’s No Child Left Behind Act and 2006 Title IX adjustments * As of 2022, only 45 public all-boys schools exist in America (down from 58 in 2016) * Must be voluntary with co-ed alternatives available The Research Gaps * Surprisingly little U.S.-based research exists on these schools’ long-term impacts * Academic benefits documented are modest, and generalizability to suburban/rural contexts remains unclear * Missing data on soft skills development and sustained outcomes — key factors in adulthood flourishing Male Teachers Matter * * Presence of male teachers, especially black male teachers, improves outcomes for black boys * Evidence shows potential to close reading gaps and improve graduation rates * * Male teachers often become mentors and role models through coaching relationships, holding boys to higher expectations * Ben Smith bio * Head of Research at the American Institute for Boys and Men * Naval Academy grad and former submarine officer * Brings both research expertise and personal experience with all-male environments Ben’s recommendation: There’s no strong policy case for a wholesale shift to single-sex schools, but individual families should feel empowered to explore all-boys options if available—particularly for middle and high school. One thing is clear: more research would be helpful. Would you enroll your son in an all-boys school? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Universities tell young men, 'You belong here' | Dr. Kelly Nolin

Guest: Kelly Nolin, Ph.D. [https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-nolin-7b99a040/], Director of Admissions at the University of Montana Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Gender Dynamics in Higher Education 03:14 Understanding Parental Perspectives on College Enrollment 06:14 Marketing Strategies to Attract Male Students 09:15 The Importance of Equity in Education 12:05 Initiatives for Male Student Engagement 15:18 The Impact of Student Loan Debt on College Decisions 17:59 The Future of Non-Traditional Students 20:55 Programs That Attract Male Students 24:01 Self-Reliance and Independence in Montana's Culture 27:06 Conversations Among Institutions on Male Engagement 30:02 Belonging and Community in Higher Education 33:12 Navigating Political Ideologies on Campus 36:10 Retention and Graduation Rates for Male Students 39:06 The Hopeful Future of Higher Education Key Stats + Resources * Young men comprise only 42% of four-year college students (Pew Research [https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/12/18/fewer-young-men-are-in-college-especially-at-4-year-schools/], 2023) * Women earn 59% of college degrees vs. 41% for men—a complete reversal from decades ago (Ed Dept [https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator/cta]) * University of Montana has increased male enrollment from 42% to 43% * By 2032, experts predict a 5 million person gap between jobs requiring college degrees and people with that education * Volt article [https://voltedu.com/features/enrollment/no-country-for-young-men/] by Erica Levi Zelinger * Higher Education Male Achievement Collaborative (HEMAC [https://www.menincollege.org/]) Why It Matters: The gender gap affects earnings, dating, family formation, and America’s workforce. People with lower educational attainment often earn less over a lifetime and face reduced likelihood of marriage and fatherhood. Recruitment Strategies: * “Rugged masculinity” marketing featuring forestry, lumberjack sports, hunting, and outdoor activities * Focus on practical programs: business, forestry, trades (welding, diesel mechanics, construction) * Embedded community colleges offering immediate career pathways * Emphasizing themes that resonate: entrepreneurship, self-reliance, career readiness, purpose Barriers to Male Enrollment: * Concerns about political bias on campuses * Student debt anxiety * Perception that college isn’t necessary for success * Feeling academically unprepared * Lack of sense of belonging Creating Belonging: * Hosting diverse political speakers (Charlie Kirk, Bernie Sanders, AOC) * Welcoming all political and religious viewpoints * 77.2% retention rate at Univ. of Montana —highest ever * Active academic advising with student tracking * Emphasis on respectful dialogue across differences The Future: Kelly Nolin views higher education’s mission as instilling hope—helping students envision different paths and possibilities that create ripple effects for families and future generations.

Gen Z's Skilled Trade Revolution

Episode Overview: As the landscape of American careers shifts dramatically, a back-to-basics career path is emerging — one that offers job security, competitive wages, and genuine satisfaction. In this episode of All Boy, Kate Cinnamo, Executive Director of Explore the Trades, talks with Chance Seales about why the skilled trades are experiencing a surge of interest from young people and their parents. Check out Explore the Trades [https://explorethetrades.org/] All Boy on Substack [ https://allboy.substack.com/] 00:00 Introduction to the Trades and Market Demand 03:33 Engaging Young People in the Trades 06:15 Financial Opportunities in the Trades 09:11 Changing Perceptions of Trade Careers 12:13 The Importance of Skilled Trades in Communities 15:23 Innovative Messaging for the Trades 18:24 STEM Connections in Trade Education 21:18 Encouraging Women in the Trades 22:47 Breaking Stereotypes in Trades 25:54 The Future of Trades and Technology 28:15 Exploring Education Models for Trades 30:14 Public-Private Partnerships in Trade Education 33:09 Debt-Free Pathways into Trades 33:51 Respecting the Trades 36:42 Back to Basics: The Value of Handicrafts 40:58 Encouraging the Next Generation in Trades Key Statistics (Thumbtack [https://blog.thumbtack.com/inspired-by-social-media-gen-z-is-increasingly-drawn-to-the-skilled-trades-30a9c352d61a], 2024): - 57% of Gen Z men are now considering careers in skilled trades - 89% of tradespeople express high job satisfaction - that's 30 points higher than lawyers and 17 points higher than doctors - Over 160,000 new jobs projected in plumbing, heating, cooling, and electrical trades over the next decade - 80% of parents and 93% of Gen Z college graduates believe skilled trades offer better economic security than college - 95% of skilled tradesmen feel optimistic about their professional futures The Changing Face of Skilled Work: Kate Cinnamo brings a unique perspective to this conversation. With nearly 10 years leading Explore the Trades, she's witnessed firsthand the transformation in how society views skilled work. "Twenty-five years ago, if you talked about the trades at school, you got that very apathetic response," she explains. Today's reality is starkly different. The trades now of high interest, representing: - STEM careers requiring deep understanding of science, technology, engineering, and mathematics - Environmental stewardship through smart home technology and energy-efficient systems - Community service providing essential infrastructure and emergency repairs - Entrepreneurial opportunities with clear paths to business ownership Entry-Level Earnings: - New electricians, plumbers, and HVAC technicians: $50,000-$70,000 annually - Master-level tradespeople: $115,000-$120,000+ - Specialized roles (comfort advisors, service managers): Additional premium pay There's no single "right way" to enter the trades: - Union Route: Structured programs with job placement but limited flexibility - Trade School: Classroom learning followed by apprenticeship - Direct Company Training: In-house apprenticeship programs with immediate employment - High School CTE Programs: Career and Technical Education starting in secondary school Job Security in an Uncertain World - Unlike many white-collar positions vulnerable to automation or economic downturns, skilled trades offer remarkable stability - Essential services that can't be outsourced - Local demand that isn't affected by global markets - Diverse opportunities from emergency service to new construction A Return to Fundamentals: The skilled trades revolution represents more than just a career trend - it's a return to valuing tangible contributions to society. In an era of digital overwhelm and economic uncertainty, working with one's hands to create, repair, and maintain the infrastructure that supports modern life can offer both personal satisfaction and economic security.

Becoming a 'good dad' | Joe Gidjunis

Episode Summary: Joe Gidjunis, creator of the PBS documentary series "Grown Up Dad," joins Chance Seales to explore what it means to be a father in the modern era. Their conversation reveals why this might be the best time in history to be a dad, while acknowledging the unique challenges and opportunities that come with contemporary fatherhood. Meet Joe Joe Gidjunis is a filmmaker and father who created the documentary series "Grown Up Dad" for PBS. The series explores the complexities of modern fatherhood through five episodes covering topics like maintaining friendships, affording childcare, gender roles, and managing screen time. Joe lives in Philadelphia with his wife, nine-year-old son Gabe, and their dog. Grown Up Dad [https://grownup.dad/] is a nonprofit endeavor. You can help them explore more facets of fatherhood through donations. Subscribe to All Boy on Substack [https://allboy.substack.com/] Key Topics Discussed: Personal Journeys and Family Dynamics: Joe and Chance reflect on their relationships with their own fathers and how those experiences shaped their approach to parenting. Joe discusses his father's "drive-by parenting" style, working out of town and being present only 2-3 days per month during Joe's childhood. This absence motivated Joe to pursue a more engaged approach with his own son. The Search for Role Models: The conversation takes an unexpected turn when Joe reveals his primary parenting inspiration: Bandit Heeler from the Australian animated series "Bluey." Joe argues that Bandit represents the best-written TV dad in history. Age and Perspective in Parenting: Joe became a father at 33, his wife at 35. They explore how older parenthood can bring advantages like greater emotional maturity, financial stability, and life perspective, while acknowledging the energy advantages of younger parents. Equity in Household Responsibilities: Joe reframes the concept of household equity, arguing it's not about maintaining perfect 50-50 splits but rather about partners working together to reach 100% as a team. He emphasizes that some days both parents might only have 20% energy to give, requiring creative collaboration to meet family needs. Social Connections and Male Friendship: A significant portion of the conversation addresses the challenge of maintaining friendships as fathers. Key insights include: - Men often rely on their wives for social connections - Making friends as an adult requires intentional effort and skills not taught in traditional settings - Joe's prescription: "couples night every Friday and guys night every other weekend" - The former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy's research on loneliness particularly affects men - Men typically prefer activity-based bonding over conversation-focused socializing Practical Takeaways for Fathers: - Give yourself permission to maintain and create new friendships as an adult - Engage in activity-based bonding opportunities - Be intentional about scheduling social time - Consider joining leagues, clubs, or organized activities - Use children's activities as networking opportunities Household Management: - Think of equity as reaching 100% as a team, not perfect 50-50 splits - Communicate openly about energy levels and capacity - Share both fun activities and challenging responsibilities - Model collaboration for children Quality Time with Children - Focus on being present for short, meaningful periods rather than perfect all-day parenting - Find activities that naturally encourage conversation - Express both love and genuine enjoyment of your children's company - Address competitive behavior and perfectionism early Personal Development: - Evaluate what worked and didn't work in your own upbringing - Be intentional about defining your fathering approach - Seek inspiration from unexpected sources - Make time for personal interests and friendships