Becoming Superhuman Podcast
In this episode, the psychologist and bestselling author of The Upside of Your Dark Side and The Art of Insubordination walks us through how embracing discomfort, adversity, and negative emotions can supercharge resilience, creativity, and confidence. Todd shares what it was like growing up as a white kid in a predominantly Black neighborhood, and how this shaped his understanding of fear, identity, and emotional coping. He breaks down the science behind psychological flexibility, the misunderstood benefits of narcissism, and why “self-love” might be overrated. Follow Super Human Podcast: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/besuperhumanpod/ [https://www.instagram.com/besuperhumanpod/] Threads: https://www.threads.com/@besuperhumanpod [https://www.threads.com/@besuperhumanpod] X: https://x.com/BeSuperhumanPod [https://x.com/BeSuperhumanPod] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/podsuperhuman [https://www.facebook.com/podsuperhuman] TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@podsuperhuman [https://www.tiktok.com/@podsuperhuman] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/podsuperhuman [https://www.linkedin.com/company/podsuperhuman] Follow Ben: https://x.com/realbentauber [https://x.com/realbentauber] Follow Dilan: https://x.com/dilan [https://x.com/dilan] Listen to all episodes: https://www.besuperhumanpod.com/ [https://www.besuperhumanpod.com/] Follow Todd: https://x.com/toddkashdan [https://x.com/toddkashdan] Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro 01:06 – Growing up as a minority and the value of adversity 03:05 – Why “negative emotions” are essential for resilience 04:04 – The good side of narcissism 06:02 – How insecurity shapes the shell we build 07:50 – Body dysmorphia in men and boys 09:02 – Physical attractiveness bias and income 11:01 – Reinventing identity and social confidence 13:15 – The psychology behind self-improvement outcomes 14:30 – Self-love vs. self-growth: which comes first? 16:10 – The myth of loving yourself before taking action 16:30 – Michael Jordan and the power of negative motivation 18:17 – Learning to observe your thoughts 19:52 – Cognitive defusion: you are not your thoughts 21:10 – A tool for reframing self-defeating beliefs 22:33 – How mentors and friends help rewire self-appraisal 24:22 – Emotional roots of limiting beliefs 26:23 – Building psychological flexibility 27:03 – “I hate Jake” and how to create mental distance 29:02 – The role of wise counsel in personal growth 30:40 – Who belongs in your inner circle? 32:47 – Giving radical feedback and how to receive it 33:51 – How to speak truth without destroying trust 35:32 – Filtering for people with the right values and intellect 37:37 – Are we choosing friends that reflect who we want to be? 39:49 – Raising strong kids: independence vs. protection 42:04 – The hidden upside of twins (and chaos) 44:14 – Parenting with an older mindset and resources 46:10 – How becoming a parent expands your capacity for love 48:52 – Giving children agency and real-world skills 52:23 – Handling kids’ mistakes without losing trust 55:12 – The difference between safety and resilience 56:40 – Why discomfort is the antidote to anxiety 59:02 – How to create independent, emotionally strong adults 1:02:15 – The hidden role of discomfort in creativity 1:05:22 – The cognitive trap: why we think we are our thoughts 1:09:04 – Parenting, psychedelics, and the future of psychological freedom 1:14:35 – Final thoughts on living with purpose, curiosity, and courage
23 episodios
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