Adult Entertainers, Mature Women & The Myth About Who Society Says Isn’t “Relationship Material”

Adult Entertainers, Mature Women & The Myth About Who Society Says Isn’t “Relationship Material”

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2550288/fan_mail/new] Today I sit down with Nikole Mitchell and Mellanie Monroe for one of the rawest conversations yet about love, sex work, aging, relationships, self-worth, and the double standards women face every day. Nikole opens up about going viral as the “pastor turned stripper,” leaving behind religion and shame to fully embrace her sexuality, freedom, and identity. Mellanie reflects on nearly two decades in the adult industry, falling in and out of love, taking breaks from the business, and learning the hard way that compromising herself for relationships always led to resentment. Together, they unpack the stigma surrounding adult entertainers and mature women, from being desired privately but judged publicly, to the reality of dating while working in the adult industry. The conversation explores jealousy, honesty, emotional maturity, age-gap relationships, and the difference between real intimacy and transactional sex. They also discuss: • Why many men secretly admire adult entertainers but publicly shame them • The emotional labor and communication required in healthy relationships • Dating younger vs older partners • Why adult entertainers are often safer and more communicative than civilians • How society links sex work with infidelity • The truth about aging, desirability, and confidence • Why sex workers are often portrayed as “damaged” in media • Learning to stop apologizing for who you are • Falling in love with yourself first before seeking validation from others This episode is funny, emotional, vulnerable, empowering, and deeply honest. Whether you agree with every perspective or not, this conversation challenges stereotypes and opens the door to a more human understanding of sexuality, relationships, aging, and identity. ⏱ CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro 00:46 – Meeting Nikole Mitchell & Mellanie Monroe 02:49 – Mellanie’s 17-year journey in the adult industry 03:25 – Nikole Mitchell: pastor turned stripper 04:41 – Being desired privately but judged publicly 07:24 – What a truly supportive partner looks like 10:21 – Relationships, compromise & jealousy 12:11 – Falling in love and leaving the industry 16:00 – Navigating boundaries in open relationships 18:45 – Misconceptions about adult entertainers 20:59 – STI stigma & sexual health myths 22:54 – What men are really afraid of 25:01 – Adult entertainment vs infidelity 29:22 – Aging, desirability & female worth 35:09 – Dating older and younger partners 37:16 – Why sex workers are portrayed as damaged 41:57 – Sex work, healing & sexuality 45:28 – Media stereotypes & social stigma 47:31 – Using social media to change the narrative 49:45 – Healthy vs unhealthy age-gap relationships 52:59 – Learning to love yourself 56:25 – Ava Devine’s Bad Advice takeaway Follow the guests: Nikole Mitchell Instagram: @mitchellnikole TikTok: @mitchellnikole Mellanie Monroe Instagram: @mellaniemonroereels X/Twitter: @mellaniemonroe7 Follow Ava Devine's Bad Advice Instagram: @avadevinesbadadvice X/Twitter: @avadevinespod Resources Studio: Level 9 Studios Makeup: Sanaya Beauty / @sanaya_mua (IG) #AvaDevinesBadAdvice #NikoleMitchell #MellanieMonroe #AdultIndustry #Relationships #Dating #SelfLove #AgeGapRelationships #Sexuality #WomenEmpowerment #Podcast #avadevine

Body Dysmorphia, Plastic Surgery & The Search for Self-worth with Kimber James

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2550288/fan_mail/new] Today, I sit down with Kimber James for a deeply honest conversation about body dysmorphia, plastic surgery, identity, self-image, and the lifelong search to feel comfortable in your own skin. From growing up feeling disconnected from her body and being relentlessly bullied as a child, to navigating transition, fame, beauty standards, and the pressures of the adult industry, Kimber opens up about the emotional complexity behind transformation, self-expression, and the need to feel accepted. Kimber reflects on childhood bullying, gender identity, eating disorders, dysmorphia, and the pressure to conform to impossible standards of beauty. Together, we unpack the emotional reality behind cosmetic surgery, the shame society places on women and trans women for altering their appearance, and the painful truth that changing the outside does not always heal what is happening internally. What looks glamorous or empowering from the outside can often come from a much deeper place of insecurity, survival, loneliness, or the need for control. As the conversation unfolds, Kimber speaks candidly about transitioning in the adult industry, living through botched surgeries and medical complications, appearing on *Botched*, addiction to change, social media pressures, relationships, and the exhausting cycle of constantly trying to “fix” yourself. We also explore self-worth, aging, healing, internal validation, and the difficult process of learning how to sit with yourself in a world that profits from making people feel inadequate. In this episode, you’ll learn: How Body Dysmorphia Begins in Childhood How Bullying and Shame Impact Identity and Self-Worth How Beauty Standards Shape the Way We See Ourselves How Plastic Surgery Can Become an Emotional Coping Mechanism How Transitioning in the Adult Industry Creates Unique Pressures How Social Media Intensifies Comparison and Dissatisfaction How Cosmetic Surgery Can Shift From Enhancement to Obsession How Health Complications Change Your Relationship With Your Body How Trauma, Relationships, and Insecurity Affect Self-Image How Self-Acceptance Is a Lifelong Process, Not a Destination If there’s one thing to take away from this episode, it’s this: changing your appearance may temporarily change how you feel, but it will never fully heal the parts of yourself that feel unloved, unseen, or unworthy. Real healing begins internally. Sending you all so much love, Ava Devine What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:42 The Disconnect Between Body and Identity 01:35 Feeling Different Since Childhood 03:22 Bullying, Shame, and Growing Up Androgynous 05:14 Transitioning and Hyper-Feminine Beauty Standards 06:41 Dolly Parton, Beauty Ideals, and Wanting Transformation 07:40 “I’ve Always Hated How I Look” 08:37 Botched Surgeries and Health Complications 09:25 Misconceptions About Transitioning and Attention 10:57 Beauty Standards, Judgment, and Public Cruelty 11:41 Living in a Constant State of Dysmorphia 12:37 Depression, Surgery, and the Need for Control 13:19 Chasing Trends and Social Media Validation 14:07 Plastic Surgery, Obsession, and Self-Control 15:05 Eating Disorders and Childhood Trauma 16:37 Generational Beauty Standards and Learned Dysmorphia 17:27 Why Society Judges Women No Matter What 18:17 Feeling Like a Target for Looking “Overdone” 19:00 The Difference Between Enhancement and Fixing Yourself 20:39 Behind the Scenes of *Botched* 22:16 Multiple Surgeries, Complications, and Recovery 24:32 Vaginoplasty, Reconstruction, and Medical Advances 25:28 Does Reality TV Help or Exploit People? 26:58 Representing the Trans Community Publicly 27:49 Wanting Surgery to Create Acceptance and Love 29:19 Why Plastic Surgery Became Part of Identity 30:03 Can Cosmetic Surgery Ever Be Healthy? 31:42 Why Nobody Truly Feels Completely Comfortable 32:31 When External Changes Don’t Heal Internal Pain 34:01 Beauty Trends and the Pressure to Keep Up 35:47 Social Media and the Loss of Individuality 36:42 Why Self-Acceptance Is Still Difficult 37:31 Addiction, Obsession, and the Desire for Change 38:24 Learning to Slow Down and Reevaluate Priorities 39:20 How to Know If You Truly Want to Change Yourself 40:13 What It Means to Feel “Enough” 41:59 Relationships, Insecurity, and Emotional Unavailability 43:53 Why Healing Has to Start From Within 44:50 My Final Takeaway 🎬 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for real stories and more candid conversations with adult entertainment stars, experts in psychology, sexology, recovery, and wellness. Follow Ava Devine Instagram: @theoneandonlyavadevine TikTok: @1avadevine Follow Ava Devine's Bad Advice Podcast Instagram: @avadevinesbadadvice TikTok: @avadevinesbadadvice X: @avadevinespod Follow Kimber James Instagram: @OfficialKimberJames Submit your questions for the show badadvicequestion@gmail.com

Will Money, Beauty & Attention Make You Happy? Kieta Kieta Has the Answers.

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2550288/fan_mail/new] Today, I sit down with Keita Kieta, former 90s supermodel and actress, for a raw conversation about the hidden loneliness behind beauty, fame, addiction, and validation. From modeling for Elite and appearing in magazines like *Vanity Fair* and *Seventeen*, to partying in Hollywood, navigating toxic industry culture, and eventually spiraling into addiction and sex work, Keita opens up about the emotional emptiness that success could never fill. Keita reflects on growing up in an industry where drugs, alcohol, perfectionism, and exploitation were normalized, and how chasing external validation slowly disconnected her from herself. What looked glamorous from the outside often felt isolating internally. Keita details the emotional cost of constantly performing an image, the pressure women face to stay desirable, and how loneliness can exist even in rooms full of celebrities, wealth, and attention. As the conversation unfolds, Keita shares how sobriety, yoga, spirituality, and authentic connection helped rebuild her life from the inside out. Together, we speak candidly about aging, identity, depression, self-worth, body image, the reality of healing, and learning to let go of the belief that money, beauty, or fame can save us. What emerges is a conversation not just about addiction and recovery, but about learning how to come home to yourself. In this episode, you’ll learn: How Fame and Beauty Can Intensify Loneliness How Addiction Becomes a Way to Escape Emotional Pain How External Validation Disconnects Us From Ourselves How the Modeling and Entertainment Industries Normalize Self-Destruction How Sobriety Changes Your Identity and Relationships How Spirituality and Yoga Help Rebuild Self-Worth How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Practice Self-Acceptance How Real Healing Begins Through Honesty, Support, and Connection If there’s one thing to take away from this episode, it’s this: no matter how far you think you’ve fallen, there is always a way back. Healing doesn’t come from becoming more beautiful, successful, or desired; it comes from reconnecting with yourself, finding support, and learning that your worth was never dependent on the image you were trying to maintain. Sending you all so much love, Ava Devine What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:48 Will Money, Beauty, and Attention Make You Happy? 03:21 Chasing Success While Losing Yourself 05:45 The Loneliness Behind Fame and Beauty 08:09 Addiction, Hollywood, and Party Culture 11:55 When Validation Stops Feeling Fulfilling 12:45 Eating Disorders and Toxic Beauty Standards 15:04 Playboy, Modeling, and Industry Pressure 18:52 How Addiction Slowly Took Over 20:12 Escaping Pain Through Drugs and Alcohol 23:14 Why Real Human Connection Matters 24:04 Feeling Lonely in Rooms Full of People 25:51 Searching for Spirituality and Meaning 28:56 Finding Yoga and Beginning Recovery 31:22 Sex Work, Survival, and Reinvention 34:11 Hitting Rock Bottom in Las Vegas 37:07 Early Sobriety and Learning to Live Again 40:49 Aging, Self-Acceptance, and Identity 43:50 Why Competition Keeps Us Empty 44:39 Learning to Forgive Yourself 46:58 Addiction and the Modeling Industry 48:36 What Spirituality Means Today 52:03 Becoming the Person You Never Thought You Could Be 53:36 How to Sit With Yourself Without Escaping 54:19 What Healing Actually Requires 55:06 “I Know the Way Home.” 55:53 My Final Takeaway 🎬 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for real stories and more candid conversations with adult entertainment stars, experts in psychology, sexology, recovery, and wellness. Follow Ava Devine Instagram: @theoneandonlyavadevine TikTok: @1avadevine Follow Kieta Kieta Ins

From Gang Life to Reinvention with Joseph Martinez

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2550288/fan_mail/new] Today on Ava Devine's Bad Advice, I sit down with Joseph Martinez to explore a powerful truth: you are not destined to become the environment you were raised in. In our conversation, Joseph opens up about growing up surrounded by gangs, violence, and survival-driven thinking, and how that world quietly shaped his identity before he realized it. From having a father serving a life sentence to inheriting “street beef” instead of opportunity, his story reveals what it really means to be raised in a system where certain paths feel inevitable. But this episode isn’t just about where he came from; it’s about what it takes to break away. Joseph shares the internal conflict of wanting that lifestyle, the influence of the people he looked up to, and the moments that slowly planted a different vision for his life. From a cousin who challenged his mindset, to becoming a young father, to confronting his own behaviors later in life, this conversation unpacks how change actually happens. Not overnight. Not perfectly. But through awareness, willingness, and the decision to want something more. In this episode, you'll learn: How Your Environment Shapes You And How to Break Free From It Why Leaving a Negative Lifestyle Is Harder Than It Looks How Small Moments Can Change the Direction of Your Life How to Turn Survival Instincts Into Strength in the Real World How to Control Your Emotions Instead of Letting Them Control You How to Redefine Masculinity in a Healthy Way How to Build a New Identity Without Losing Yourself How to Let Go of the Need for Approval From the Wrong People How to Channel “Hustle Mentality” Into Something Positive How to Move From Just Surviving to Actually Thriving If there’s one thing I want you to hold onto, it’s this: where you start does not have to be where you stay. Change doesn’t come from pretending your past didn’t happen, it comes from learning how to use it differently. I hope you love watching this episode as much as I did filming it. Ava Devine What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:48 Growing Up in a Gang Environment 02:23 How Environment Shapes Identity 04:54 Life With a Father in Prison 07:28 Shame, Identity, and Childhood Experiences 10:02 Faith, God, and Finding Meaning 12:13 Wanting the Lifestyle vs Questioning It 14:01 The Moment That Changed Everything 17:47 Why It’s So Hard to Leave That Life 22:06 The Reality of Gang Culture and Family Ties 25:04 Feeling Trapped and Fear of Judgment 28:04 The Turning Point: Wanting Something More 31:52 Redefining Masculinity 34:31 Learning to Trust and Communicate 36:17 Unlearning Old Behaviors 40:05 Letting Go of “Tough Guy” Mentality 41:32 From Hustling to Honest Living 45:42 What Reinvention Really Looks Like 48:31 Fatherhood, Pain, and Growth 53:25 Breaking Generational Patterns 54:25 How to Rebuild Your Identity 56:47 Advice for Anyone Feeling Stuck 58:21 Letting Go of Limiting Beliefs 01:01:43 The Truth About That Lifestyle 01:04:51 Feeling Like It’s Too Late to Change 01:06:40 The Dark Side of the “Glamour.” 01:07:27 Can Anyone Truly Change? 🎬 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for real stories and more candid conversations with adult entertainment stars, experts in psychology, sexology, recovery, and wellness. Follow Ava Devine Instagram: @theoneandonlyavadevine TikTok: @1avadevine Follow Joseph Martinez Instagram: @mr.send.da.wire Submit your questions for the show badadvicequestion@gmail.com

Raw & Devine: Ava Opens Up | Fan Questions, Industry Realities & Why She Started This Podcast

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2550288/fan_mail/new] On this special solo episode of Ava Devine’s Bad Advice, Ava sits down on her own to answer her fans’ wildest, most unapologetic questions. No filter, no guest—just Ava being brutally honest. Ava answers her fans’ wildest questions, spills adult-industry secrets you’ll never see on camera, and breaks down what really happens behind the fantasy. Ava gets raw about her personal life, the taboos she’s lived, and why she started this podcast in the first place. Pure, unfiltered Devine chaos and damn bad advice! Follow us on Social Media:  IG: @avadevinesbadadvice  TikTok: @avadevinesbadadvice    Follow Ava:  IG: @theoneandonlyavadevine  TikTok: @1avadevine 💌 Submit questions: badadvicequestion@gmail.com Find Us: https://linktr.ee/avadevinesbadadvice 🎧 Listen on YouTube, Apple, and Spotify