15 | More About Parenting by Design (Not Default)

15 | More About Parenting by Design (Not Default)

🥊 Note: this talk is a continuation of the one-two punch we started about parenting in the previous episode 🥊   There are THREE phases of parenting… And you’ve got to pivot your roles and goals at each milestone. 📈   Here’s why knowing the three phases is helpful… 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁 1️⃣ If you know which stage you’re in, you know the “role” to play as you parent 2️⃣ If you know what you want them to look like as they enter the next step, you can reverse engineer those traits and instill them in your child, using the current stage to prep them for the next   It’s important to understand— ➡️ which phase you’re kid is in ➡️ the primary “role” you need to play as a parent ➡️ the importance of recognizing what’s coming next (so you can use the current phase to prepare them for the next) WHILE ALSO ➡️ being fully present in that phase and enjoying the season you’re in (even though, admittedly, each season brings it’s unique set of challenges)   In this episode we get practical about the THIRD phase (first two = previous episode). And then we tackle this reality… 👇   It seems like there’s never enough time to do the things that need to be done… … much less “go deep” in all of this parenting stuff and make sure the most important things happen. (Yes, it’s easy to feel like a failure as a parent.) 💔   So… What if we could capture significant moments each day as part of the parenting journey? What if we created “positive triggers” that just opened up strategic times of opportunity to focus on life-changing moments— big and small? And what if we acknowledge that we aren’t running a sprint… or even a marathon… but one of those ultra-marathon, triathlon, extreme-race things that just goes on and on… so the best approach is just to make incremental change, by capturing some of the small moments? 💖💖💖   You need to implement “the flow.” Parenting becomes easier when you tap into the every day grind and add a dose of grace to strategic moments… 🛌 Bed time ⏰ Morning routine 🚌 Car pool 🍔 Meal times   In addition, you’ll learn about the possibilities that— 🧭 Directional gatherings 🔥 Experiences ⭐️ Adventures — can unlock for you and your family when dropped in small doses. Here’s the takeaway, rather than depending on the BIG moments and overlooking the small, lean into the small / everyday and supplement with the “big.”     _________________ Links to you need to know about… 📺 The parenting mini course = www.BeRefreshed.org/MC [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/MC]  📳 Schedule a 25-minute “zoom-type” Discovery Call with Randy = www.BeRefreshed.org/DC [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/DC]  🔗 The grand parenting group (online) = https://www.berefreshed.org/GP [https://www.berefreshed.org/GP]  👉 1:1 coaching info with Randy = www.BeRefreshed.org/PC [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/PC]    Episodes which are great next steps from here = ✅ #8, about the “Three phases / three stages” of parenting = https://berefreshed.mykajabi.com/podcasts/be-refreshed/episodes/2149047725 [https://berefreshed.mykajabi.com/podcasts/be-refreshed/episodes/2149047725]  ✅ #12, about “Tools” for each of the three stages of parenting = https://berefreshed.mykajabi.com/podcasts/be-refreshed/episodes/2149047730 [https://berefreshed.mykajabi.com/podcasts/be-refreshed/episodes/2149047730]  ✅ #13, about “The Flow” = https://berefreshed.mykajabi.com/podcasts/be-refreshed/episodes/2149047731 [https://berefreshed.mykajabi.com/podcasts/be-refreshed/episodes/2149047731]    Links to Andy’s site referenced in this talk: 📣 Andy’s podcast = go to www.Jenkins.tv [http://www.Jenkins.tv]  🦅 GY6 project = www.GY6.online [http://www.GY6.online]

14 | The Cultural Architect of Your Family

Parenting happens by design or default. And, honestly, it’s easier— though it seems more difficult— to do it with a plan. But doing it with a plan requires a few things. 👇   I went into the studio with a friend who invited me to discuss my “part art / part science” long-term approach to parenting. Remember, we got a second chance to do the parenting thing all over again, implementing the adjustments many of us look back and think about— “Oh, if I only knew then what I know now…” 🤷‍♂️ Here’s what you need to know… Parenting a toddler is different than parenting a teen. And that’s different than parenting a son or daughter who’s now a senior in college or just stepping into the full time workforce. That seems obvious. 🤦‍♂️   But how do you know what each child needs at each stage of life? And how can you not only know WHAT they need but also HOW to transfer that lesson, that bit of leadership to them? 🧐   In this discussion we dialogue about the three phases of parenting…. 🔴 0- 5 years, discipline = building a foundation 🟠 6-12 years, training = developing soft skills 🟢 13+, coaching = equipping them to make good, “life” decisions   We start breaking them down, as well as discuss why you need to manage the culture moreso than just manage the schedule and the agenda…   _________________ Links you need to know about = 📺 The parenting mini course = www.BeRefreshed.org/MC [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/MC]  📳 Schedule a 25-minute “zoom-type” Discovery Call with Randy = www.BeRefreshed.org/DC [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/DC]  🔗 The grand parenting group (online) = https://www.berefreshed.org/GP [https://www.berefreshed.org/GP]  👉 1:1 coaching info with Randy = www.BeRefreshed.org/PC [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/PC]    Previous podcast episodes which are great next steps from here = ✅ #8, about the “Three phases / three stages” of parenting = https://berefreshed.mykajabi.com/podcasts/be-refreshed/episodes/2149047725 [https://berefreshed.mykajabi.com/podcasts/be-refreshed/episodes/2149047725]  ✅ #12, about “Tools” for each of the three stages of parenting = https://berefreshed.mykajabi.com/podcasts/be-refreshed/episodes/2149047730 [https://berefreshed.mykajabi.com/podcasts/be-refreshed/episodes/2149047730]  ✅ #13, about “The Flow” = https://berefreshed.mykajabi.com/podcasts/be-refreshed/episodes/2149047731 [https://berefreshed.mykajabi.com/podcasts/be-refreshed/episodes/2149047731]    Links to Andy’s site referenced in this talk: 📣 Andy’s podcast = go to www.Jenkins.tv [http://www.Jenkins.tv]  🦅 GY6 project = www.GY6.online [http://www.GY6.online]

13 | Capturing strategic moments each day

It seems like there’s never enough time to do the things that need to be done… … much less “go deep” in all of this parenting stuff and make sure the most important things happen. (Yes, it’s easy to feel like a failure as a parent.) 💔   But what if we could capture significant moments each day as part of the parenting journey? What if we created “positive triggers” that just opened up strategic times of opportunity to focus on life-changing moments— big and small? And what if we acknowledge that we aren’t running a sprint… or even a marathon… but one of those ultra-marathon, triathlon, extreme-race things that just goes on and on… so the best approach is just to make incremental change, by capturing some of the small moments? 💖💖💖   In this talk, pulled from the parenting workshop, Randy discuses “the flow.” Parenting becomes easier when you tap into the every day grind and add a dose of grace to strategic moments… 🛌 Bed time ⏰ Morning routine 🚌 Car pool 🍔 Meal times   In addition, you’ll learn about the possibilities that— 🧭 Directional gatherings 🔥 Experiences ⭐️ Adventures — can unlock for you and your family when dropped in small doses. Here’s the takeaway, rather than depending on the BIG moments and overlooking the small, lean into the small / everyday and supplement with the “big.”     __________________ Next steps To learn more about Randy’s parenting resources, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/family [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/family]  For specific opportunities for grandparents, visit www.BeRefreshed.org/GP [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/GP]  Take the assessment (for you AND your kids) at www.BeRefreshed.org/4 [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/4]  For the “Diapers to Dorms” audiobook, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/D2D [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/D2D]

12 | Tools you can use for each of the three phases of parenting

In episode 8 we dialogued about the three phases of parenting…. 🔴 0- 5 years, discipline = building a foundation 🟠 6-12 years, training = developing soft skills 🟢 13+, coaching = equipping them to make good, “life” decisions   We discussed why it’s important to understand— ➡️ which phase you’re kid is in ➡️ the primary “role” you need to play as a parent ➡️ the importance of recognizing what’s coming next (so you can use the current phase to prepare them for the next) WHILE ALSO ➡️ being fully present in that phase and enjoying the season you’re in (even though, admittedly, each season brings it’s unique set of challenges)   In this episode we get practical about the phases. We talk about “tools” you can use to shepherd your kids (and grandkids) into become better humans.     __________________ Next steps To learn more about Randy’s parenting resources, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/family [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/family]  For specific opportunities for grandparents, visit www.BeRefreshed.org/GP [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/GP]  Take the assessment (for you AND your kids) at www.BeRefreshed.org/4 [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/4]  For the “Diapers to Dorms” audiobook, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/D2D [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/D2D]

11 | Telling our in-laws like it is…

Randy and Tammy talk with their in-laws in this episode about the role of grandparents— which is, first of all, to SUPPORT their parents. This includes the in-laws. They ask the question, “What do you need…?” And they get answers ranging from “come babysit the kids, because we trust you more than others” to other responses like just being there to talk through concerns and questions about begin a parent and managing all the moving parts of life. 💜   At the conclusion of this talk we roll into the prologue from Randy’s first book on parenting, Diapers to Dorms…. … the book that helps you learn how to raise kids you actually like to be around (and others like to be around, as well)… … and to know how to raise them and what to do at each stage of the parenting journey.     __________________ Next steps To learn more about Randy’s parenting resources, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/family [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/family]  For specific opportunities for grandparents, visit www.BeRefreshed.org/GP [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/GP]  Take the assessment (for you AND your kids) at www.BeRefreshed.org/4 [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/4]  For the “Diapers to Dorms” audiobook, go to www.BeRefreshed.org/D2D [http://www.BeRefreshed.org/D2D]