Between a Hot Mess & a Therapist

76. When You’re the Regulator: The Family Role That Burns Helpers Out

12 min · 26 de abr de 2026
Portada del episodio 76. When You’re the Regulator: The Family Role That Burns Helpers Out

Descripción

Some of you were not raised. You were recruited. If you grew up in an enmeshed or unpredictable home, you may have become the regulator early. The peacekeeper. The one who could feel the room before anyone spoke. The one who stayed alert, adapted fast, and kept everything from tipping over. Now you are a helper who is great in crisis, but your nervous system never fully stands down. In this episode, we talk about how family roles shape burnout, especially when your body has learned that safety depends on reading moods, managing tension, and staying one step ahead. We cover: * enmeshment: when love feels like access and separation feels like betrayal * unpredictability: eggshells, hypervigilance, and chronic bracing * why your “intuition” may actually be nervous-system scanning * how this role turns into over-functioning and burnout * what boundaries look like when your body thinks distance is danger If you look calm on the outside but live internally on standby, this episode is for you. Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE [https://form.jotform.com/healingrootswab/-podcast-qa] —————————————————————————— WORK WITH ME —————————————————————————— Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset —————————————————————————— FIND ME —————————————————————————— YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.

Comentarios

0

Sé la primera persona en comentar

¡Regístrate ahora y únete a la comunidad de Between a Hot Mess & a Therapist!

Prueba gratis

Empieza 7 días de prueba

$99 / mes después de la prueba. · Cancela cuando quieras.

  • Podcasts solo en Podimo
  • 20 horas de audiolibros al mes
  • Podcast gratuitos

Todos los episodios

81 episodios

episode 80. Silent Quitting Your Life: When the Old You Doesn’t Fit Anymore artwork

80. Silent Quitting Your Life: When the Old You Doesn’t Fit Anymore

This episode is for the high-functioning people who look “fine” on the outside but know, deep down, that whole parts of their life no longer fit. Not just jobs—roles, expectations, identities, and ways of living that your body is tired of performing. I’m talking about the quiet inner ending that happens before the outer change, why midlife can bring your real compass back online, and what your nervous system may be telling you before you have the next plan figured out. Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE [https://form.jotform.com/healingrootswab/-podcast-qa] —————————————————————————— WORK WITH ME —————————————————————————— Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset —————————————————————————— FIND ME —————————————————————————— YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.

24 de may de 202622 min
episode 79. You Don’t Work a Job. You Rent Your Life. artwork

79. You Don’t Work a Job. You Rent Your Life.

That moment when you’re sitting in the car after work, too drained to even walk into your own house? Yeah. That’s not laziness. That’s what happens when your life has been built around being useful, available, and endlessly “good at handling things.” In this episode, I’m talking about the real cost of overfunctioning, helper conditioning, and what it does to your nervous system when your days stop belonging to you. If you look functional on the outside but feel cooked on the inside, this one will hit home. Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE [https://form.jotform.com/healingrootswab/-podcast-qa] —————————————————————————— WORK WITH ME —————————————————————————— Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset —————————————————————————— FIND ME —————————————————————————— YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.

17 de may de 202619 min
episode 78. When Your Birthday Lands Next to Mother’s Day artwork

78. When Your Birthday Lands Next to Mother’s Day

Every year, my birthday lands right up against Mother’s Day, and every year it stirs up more than people think. This episode is for anyone who feels complicated around being celebrated, being needed, being mothered, or being the one who keeps holding it all together. We’re talking about tenderness, resentment, caretaking, identity, and what it means when your own life keeps arriving right beside everyone else’s expectations. And yes, we’re doing it honestly. Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE [https://form.jotform.com/healingrootswab/-podcast-qa] —————————————————————————— WORK WITH ME —————————————————————————— Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset —————————————————————————— FIND ME —————————————————————————— YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.

10 de may de 202623 min
episode 77. Good Girl Contract: How the Mother Wound Fuels Helper Burnout artwork

77. Good Girl Contract: How the Mother Wound Fuels Helper Burnout

A lot of helper burnout is not about workload. It is about childhood conditioning finally breaking down. In this episode, we unpack how the mother wound can shape emotional patterns like over-functioning, self-abandonment, perfectionism, and chronic guilt. You learn to be emotionally convenient, and then clinical culture rewards that same pattern and calls it professionalism. So if you have been praised for how much you can carry, feel guilty when you rest, and keep performing while quietly falling apart, this one is for you. We cover: * why “resilience” can sometimes be emotional invisibility * how the good girl contract gets wired into your nervous system * mother wound patterns that drive people-pleasing, over-functioning, and burnout * why guilt is not guidance * how to choose energy integrity over performance You are not lazy. You are not weak. You may just be running on survival patterns that were never meant to become a lifestyle. Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE [https://form.jotform.com/healingrootswab/-podcast-qa] —————————————————————————— WORK WITH ME —————————————————————————— Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset —————————————————————————— FIND ME —————————————————————————— YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.

3 de may de 202617 min
episode 76. When You’re the Regulator: The Family Role That Burns Helpers Out artwork

76. When You’re the Regulator: The Family Role That Burns Helpers Out

Some of you were not raised. You were recruited. If you grew up in an enmeshed or unpredictable home, you may have become the regulator early. The peacekeeper. The one who could feel the room before anyone spoke. The one who stayed alert, adapted fast, and kept everything from tipping over. Now you are a helper who is great in crisis, but your nervous system never fully stands down. In this episode, we talk about how family roles shape burnout, especially when your body has learned that safety depends on reading moods, managing tension, and staying one step ahead. We cover: * enmeshment: when love feels like access and separation feels like betrayal * unpredictability: eggshells, hypervigilance, and chronic bracing * why your “intuition” may actually be nervous-system scanning * how this role turns into over-functioning and burnout * what boundaries look like when your body thinks distance is danger If you look calm on the outside but live internally on standby, this episode is for you. Got a Question? SUBMIT IT HERE [https://form.jotform.com/healingrootswab/-podcast-qa] —————————————————————————— WORK WITH ME —————————————————————————— Practice by Design (for fully licensed clinicians, $497): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/work-with-me LPC Supervision (Texas Associates only, $400/mo): https://shawnalovinlpcs.com/lpc-associate-supervision Ten Twenty QM (custom tees): www.tentwentyqm.com FREE Still Human audio series: https://healingrootswab.myflodesk.com/reset —————————————————————————— FIND ME —————————————————————————— YouTube: youtube.com/@heyyallitsshawna Website: shawnalovinlpcs.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyyallitsshawna Disclaimer: Although Shawna is a licensed counselor in the State of Texas, this podcast is not therapy and should not be used as a therapeutic intervention. Many of the practices and products mentioned are for educational and informational purposes only. Should you need support, please seek appropriate, qualified, and licensed professionals.

26 de abr de 202612 min