Help feels good and it feels good to help

Help feels good and it feels good to help

Help feels good and it feels good to help. In today’s episode, we will discuss the motives behind help and how they affect both the giver and the receiver. We will identify a few tools that HELP us give and receive help in a meaningful and compassionate way. Help helps the world go round. EPISODE NOTES Help: Help is an offering of one’s service or resources to make someone else’s time easier and better. it encompasses support, assistance, guidance, volunteering, donating, a gentle push, a listening ear, or a shoulder to lean on. Why do we help? -Prosocial behavior: Any act we willingly take that is meant to help others. Prosocial behaviors may be driven by empathy, social norms, selfish motives, or expected reciprocation. -Pure Altruism: This is a specific type of prosocial behavior in which we choose to voluntarily help another person with the motivation driven by genuine, selfless concern for others with no expectation of reward, recognition, or acknowledgement. Pure Altruistic behavior often stems from personal core values, ethical principles and moral beliefs. An example of a Pure altruism would be making an anonymous donation to a family recovering from a house fire or buying the next person’s food in line in a drive through. -Reciprocal altruism: This is the hope that when you help someone else in need, someone will help you when you are in need. Unlike pure altruism, where an act is performed without anything expected in return, reciprocal altruism has an expectation for future repayment, like the saying “scratch my back and ill scratch yours.” An example of reciprocal altruism would be a community sharing resources and helping a neighboring community after a natural disaster with the expectation that they would do the same for them if they found themselves in need. -Kin altruism: Characterized by feeling more prone to helping a family member compared to helping a stranger. -Egotistical behavior: Behavior focused on the self, it refers to behaviors that are vain, boastful, and selfish. Individuals may help others for their own individual gain and self-esteem. An egotistical act of help would be saving a drowning child with the hopes of being mentioned in the local newspaper or volunteering at a food bank so you can add it to your resume. Genuine help VS. Ingenuine help Genuine empathetic help leads to more effective and sustainable efforts while ingenuine help rooted in personal gain or egotistical motives may disappear when the benefits cease. When help is part of an authentic connection, it becomes a long-term habit versus a fleeting transaction. Genuine help also feels different than ingenuine help. Receiving ingenuine can feel fake and less reliable. It often comes with fair weather support, meaning that the helper is just there for fun, convenience, or personal gain but may disappear when serious help and effort is needed. Ingenuine help may be sloppy, rushed, and low quality. This person may have a negative attitude and try to use guilt tripping to make you feel guilty for needing their help. Ingenuine help may also include aspects of inconsistency, manipulation, blackmail, and performative self-serving efforts. In contrast, genuine help comes with no strings attached. This person is trustworthy and provides consistent support. They want what is best for you and truly care about the quality of help they provide. This person respects your boundaries and listens to what you actually need instead of trying to impose control. Genuine help is reliable and follows through with commitments. How can you use your help to the fullest? -Use empathy and logic to steer your efforts in helping. Empathy provides the emotional spark—a reminder that others’ suffering matters. Logic and reasoning helps steer that motivation toward where help will have the greatest impact. Together, they encourage helping that is both compassionate and impactful! - Practice active listening. Effective help involves active listening, clear communication, and mutual understanding. You must develop an understanding on the task at hand and the expectations before acting. Ask questions so that you can provide targeted support and assistance. -Be mindful of boundaries to ensure that you are not being too pushy or invasive. If you notice that someone may be in need of help, ask them before just jumping in. It is not cool to take someone's opportunity away from them by stripping them of their learning process. Stand by and be there if they need and want help. - When you are on the receiving end of help, it is important to be vigilant to make sure you are not getting misled or taken advantage of. Trust your gut. Observe others behavior and look for patterns. If a person’s words don’t match their actions, create boundaries and distance yourself. You must also be vigilant when you are helping others as well. Ensure that the details and expectations are communicated clearly. Ensure that you are on the same page and align with the same values. Can you trust this person? Is the environment safe and comfortable? Advocate for yourself and your personal boundaries. Do not push yourself too far where you are putting your own wellbeing at risk. Do not put yourself in an uncomfortable or unsafe situation. If the situation becomes uncomfortable or unsafe, distance yourself. -If the situation is over your capacity physically, emotionally, intellectually, or professionally, don’t pretend you can do it, help connect them with the proper professional resources. If you were to mess up or share inaccurate information or services, that could potentially fall back on you. Receiving help: -Accepting help can be hard and vulnerable because it can feel like you are showing weakness and incomitance. If you experience resistance towards receiving help, Try to define the root of it. Resistance towards accepting help may stem from a deeper fears, beliefs or past experiences. A few examples are past traumas, the fear of being a burden, perfectionism, the need for control, and the need for independence. -Once you identify the root of your resistance, challenge it and shift it by viewing support as a strength rather than a weakness. Help and generosity assist in building stronger healthier connections and mutual support systems with others. Recognize the courage it takes to ask for help. -Next, practice asking and accepting help in small ways. If asking for help feels like too much at first, start with accepting it. Start by accept help in small low stakes situations. If someone offers to help you with your groceries and you feel safe and comfortable, say yes. And obviously be vigilant and aware of your surroundings before accepting help from strangers. -When you feel comfortable to ask for help, be specific with what you need and use clear communication. This helps to create mutual understanding and reduce anxiety for you and the helper. - The next thing you can do is to show appreciation for the help you receive. Tell them how much their help is appreciated. Say thank you. Help benefits both the giver and the receiver. People enjoy helping, it feels good. It feels good to be of service and to be appreciated. Allow others the opportunity to help you. Give them the gift of adding value to your life. Reciprocate the value with your appreciation and thanks. REFERENCES Altruism. (2026, February 17). Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/altruism#:~:text=Altruism%20is%20acting%20to%20help%20someone%20else,feel%20empathy%20and%20a%20desire%20to%20help. Lane, L. D. a. C. (n.d.). Module 11: Helping Others – Principles of Social Psychology. https://opentext.wsu.edu/social-psychology/chapter/module-11-helping-others/ Prilleltensky, I., PhD. (2022, January 4). To matter, we must add value—not just feel valued. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/well-being/202201/what-it-means-matter What makes us help others—the head or the heart? (n.d.). Greater Good. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_makes_us_help_others_the_head_or_the_heart

Growth mindset vs. Scarcity mindset

The world you live in is a reflection of the mindsets you choose to adopt on a daily basis. Your mindset includes your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes. In today’s episode we will delve into the key differences between a scarcity mindset and a growth mindset and some of the main causes of a scarcity mindset. Lastly, we will discuss why and how you can adopt a growth mindset that supports your wellbeing!! EPISODE NOTES You have the power to positively shift your mindset. A positive mindset rooted in growth and abundance fosters resilience and opportunities while a negative mindset rooted in scarcity can cause discouragement and anxiety. Mindsets are changeable through self-awareness, mindfulness, and consistent conscious effort. By intentionally mediating your internal environment, you have the power to positively shift your external reality. Priming: In psychology, priming is a memory phenomenon that states that stimuli (a word, action, or image) unconsciously influence an individual's response to later similar stimuli. According to Psychology Today, when your brain is already primed by a certain belief to look for something, your brain facilitates faster processing and response by shutting down competing neural networks. So basically, your brain actually makes it harder for you to see evidence of the contrary to an already existing belief. This is why when you believe you are having a bad day you notice everything that goes wrong. Most people don’t realize that you are reading and writing your life story at the same time. Scarcity Mindset vs. Growth Abundance Mindset 1. The view of potential and resources: A scarcity mindset operates from fear, believing that your resources and potential are limited. There is never enough time, money, talent, support, or luck. In contrast, a growth mindset believes that resources and potential are plentiful, and intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and time. A growth mindset focuses on possibilities, solutions, and improvement rather than limitations. 2. The response to challenges: When we are thinking in a scarcity mindset, we feel hopeless, stuck, victimized, and unempowered when faced with challenges. Low self-esteem and anxiety are biproducts of a scarcity mindset, making it harder to problem solve and show resilience. Challenges become barriers that can’t be conquered. When receiving feedback, a scarcity mindset tends to feel offended, self-centered, and victimized. A growth mindset sees change and challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. A growth-oriented mindset is rooted in opportunity, continuous improvement, and abundance. Through a growth mindset, feedback and obstacles are seen as learning tools, not an attack. 3. View of feedback and other people’s success: When receiving feedback from others, a scarcity mindset tends to feel offended, self-centered, and victimized. An individual with a scarcity mindset relies on self-pity and excuses and may feel jealous of other’s success. They may be more likely to compare themselves to others and feel that another person’s success takes away from their own. In contrast, through a growth mindset, feedback from others is seen as a learning tool, not an attack. A growth mindset is able to celebrate other’s success and find inspiration through it. What causes a scarcity mindset? 1. Negativity Bias: Because the brain's core function is to keep the body safe and alive, the brain is wired to be more attentive to negative stimuli and risks than positive experiences. This innate tendency to focus on negative stimuli or danger is rooted in early human history. Thousands of years ago, our ancestors were exposed to immediate threats such as predators and environmental dangers. For our ancestors, this negativity bias in the brain served one purpose, survival. This innate tendency is intended to keep us alive often causes modern brains to fixate on negativity over positivity. Since the brain contains this negativity bias, it means that we tend to expect the worse in uncertain situations first. 2. Scarcity trauma: Scarcity trauma is a generally new term that is used to describe psychological and emotional impact caused by prolonged exposure to real or perceived lack of essential resources according to PositivePsychology.com. Prolonged lack of essential resources such as financial, emotional, or social resources have been linked to negative psychologic effects such as a scarcity mindset. Scarcity trauma can picked up from past life experiences, your childhood, or through your relationships and family members. For example, if your parents openly struggled with money while you were growing up, then you would be more susceptible to developing a scarcity mindset around money later in your life. People in this situation may become overly frugal, hoard resources, avoid taking financial risks, and develop chronic stress. 3. Low Self-Esteem: When an individual believes that they are lacking in smarts, looks, resources, or love, they will automatically look out into the world for proof of their lack and limitations. This leads to self-sabotaging behaviors that reinforce a “not enough” mentality. This goes back to the phenomenon of priming. Your brain searches for proof and related content to your already existing beliefs. Tools that support a positive mindset: Self-awareness: When working towards bettering your mindset, self-awareness is the first step. Self-awareness is the skill of recognizing and understanding one's own emotions, thoughts, strengths and weaknesses, and values. Strengthen your self-awareness by getting to know yourself better. Self-Awareness is about paying attention to how you interact in your life. Be curious about why you do things, how you do things, and how they result. Don’t ignore your feelings, explore them. Tap into the cues, triggers, and urges you have on a daily basis. Exploring the unknown and uncomfortable is scary. We often ignore the hard and confusing feelings because they are uncomfortable. But I encourage you to push yourself to be curious, ask questions, and reflect when thoughts and feelings come up. Ease yourself into it by pushing yourself to identify where the emotion is coming from. Continue to think a little deeper and explore a little farther. Practice self-awareness in a way that feels natural to you. In a comfortable and calm environment, try meditating, observing, and communicating with your inner voice, asking yourself guiding questions, talking to a trusted individual like a therapist or journaling. Strengthen your self-awareness by practicing mindfulness and presence. Consciously be more intentional with what you think, consume, do, and say. Go into your daily experiences with the intention on being present in the moment. Be more observant of the details in your surroundings, the sensations in your body, and the thoughts that cross your mind. Practicing self-awareness in conjunction with mindfulness promotes a growth mindset by highlighting areas for improvement, reflection, and emotional intelligence. By practicing self-awareness, at the very least you will learn more about yourself and be able to make decisions that better align with your true feelings, intentions, and values. Recognize the Negativity Bias: Because the brain's core function is to keep the body safe and alive, the brain is wired to be more attentive to negative stimuli and risks than positive experiences. It is one of your brain's innate tendencies that is meant to keep you alive. However, by recognizing that your brain is likely expressing this negativity bias, you can create awareness and distance from the negative thoughts and think more rationally and positively about your current situation. Creating awareness and distance between you and your thoughts is a way to intentionally detach your thoughts from your identity. You are observing your thoughts, but you are not your thoughts. Next time you find yourself stressed and anxious consumed with overthinking and self-pity, ask yourself; am I thinking in a growth mindset or a scarcity mindset. Am I fixating on the problem or am I looking for a solution. Am I being rational? Am I making assumptions, or do I have proof? You can use these questions to guide you through overthinking, help calm you down and manage stress more effectively. Resilience: Resilience is the capacity to adapt to adversity, trauma, or significant stress; it is a "bouncing back" mechanism that fosters psychological, emotional, and behavioral flexibility. Some studies show that resilience can be inherited as a personality trait, but it can also be a skill that can be learned and improved overtime. When you are faced with challenges and obstacles, see them as an opportunity to grow and learn something. Shift your perspective from ugh why is this happening to me to this is happening for me, what am I meant to get from this? What lesson is this teaching me? How can I use this experience to help me move forward? I believe that there is always always always a silver lining. Challenge yourself to search and identify a silver lining in each irritating situation. Find a lesson in the struggle. Look past the surface. What is this situation showing you? This mindset shift fosters reflection and active interpretation about challenges and failures in a positive light reminding you that they are opportunities for growth and strengthening your character. You have the power to see the “good” in any situation and take positive action. Master your internal dialogue: The internal dialogue that you have, including your thoughts and the way you talk to yourself, hugely impacts your self-esteem. Ensure that you are talking to yourself with kindness and patience. I mentioned this tool in a past episode. Talk to yourself like someone you love. Give yourself the same compassion you would give your best friend. Allow yourself the thoughtfulness that you show your family. It can be much easier to recognize other people’s skills and accomplishments but do not forget to celebrate yourself. If someone gives you a compliment, don’t downplay yourself. You are deserving, you are capable, you are strong. If you are feeling down about a mistake or a situation you wish would have gone differently, accept it and remind yourself that you can always learn something through each experience and something doesn’t work out, believe there is something better planned for you. A growth mindset is centered around the belief that you can improve and develop skills and abilities overtime. You are not fixed. You are constantly growing and changing. Mistakes and obstacles are a part of that learning process. “Experience is making mistakes and learning from them” – Bill Ackman Empower yourself with your ability to learn: Figure out what your learning style is and make learning fun! I believe that we are all learners of life. Learning should not stop after school, you should be learning and expanding your brain and imagination continuously. The VARK model, developed by Neil Fleming in 1987, is a framework classifying learners into four primary sensory modalities: Visual, Auditory, Read/Write, and Kinesthetic. Visual learners prefer graphs, diagrams, and charts to deepen understanding. Auditory learners learn best through lectures, discussions, podcasts, and repeating information aloud. The third learning style is reading; these learners prefer information presented in books, reports, and articles. Lastly, kinesthetic learners thrive through hands- on activities, practice, and movement. Learning inspires you to explore new ideas and push the boundaries of possibility. It promotes curiosity and instills a desire to question, explore, and grow. According to the Mississippi State University article on Learning, The ability to acquire new knowledge and skills during difficult times can be transformative, enabling individuals to adapt and overcome adversity effectively. When we believe in our capability to learn it can help us stand tall and strong. Education is not limited to formal institutions; it extends to self-development and personal growth. Be a lifelong learner. Practice gratitude: Physiologically, gratitude conditions the brain to scan the world for the positive. So, when you find yourself consumed with negative thoughts, counterbalance it by identifying a few things that you are grateful for right now. Practicing gratitude can help you manage stress and cope with difficult situations with more awareness and a positive outlook. Gratitude has the power to increase feelings of motivation, life satisfaction, and optimism. References Team, I. W. D. (2025, August 20). From Curiousity to Success: Why We all should embrace Lifelong Learning | Bachelor of Applied Science. Bachelor of Applied Science. https://www.bas.msstate.edu/news/2024/11/curiousity-success-why-we-all-should-embrace-lifelong-learning Priming (psychology) | Psychology | Research Starters | EBSCO Research. (n.d.). EBSCO. https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/psychology/priming-psychology McGarvie, S., PhD. (2025, April 1). 8 Strategies to Transform a scarcity Mindset. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/scarcity-mindset/ Vilhauer, J., PhD. (2020, September 28). What cognitive science has to say about how we experience life. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/202009/how-your-thinking-creates-your-reality#:~:text=Your%20thoughts%2C%20if%20you%20think,cognitive%20lens%20through%20which%20you

Maximize your time, energy, and focus

Join me in today’s episode, let’s achieve our goals together! Maximizing your time, energy, and focus requires intentionality, prioritization, patience, and rest. We will start by looking at the positive impacts of settingspecific, measurable goals and why prioritizing fewer goals is effective. Additionally, we will explore a few tools to help us break goals into smaller actionable steps and promote consistency, credibility, and motivation. Lastly, we recognize the importance of planned breaks and rest in your schedule.    EPISODE NOTES:   It is interesting, people often rely on temporal landmarks like New Year’s to remind them that time has passed. This symbol of a new year, a blank slate motivates people to think about their lives and evaluate their goals and priorities. But why?   The “fresh start” effect: Psychologically, Temporal landmarks create mental chapters that structure our memories and organize our lives. They feel like a new beginning, a fresh start or a blank slate. They encourage aperception of fresh opportunities and a renewed sense of control over our actions. Studies show that people are more likely to initiate positive changes in their lives and pursue their goals following Temporal landmarks like New Years and birthdays but also smaller examples like the first day of school, getting a new job, moving, or the start of a new week or month.   The Actual self-vs. the Ideal self-theory:  Essentially, the theory compares your current self, including your attributions, your strengths/weaknesses, and your experiences with who you want to be including your values, your goals, and your aspirations. We feel motivated to take action and close the gap between our actual self and our ideal self.  Setting specific measurable goals: When we have a clear and specific goal, it is easier to identify an effective action plan. Clear goals turn abstract ideas into concrete steps.   Identify your why behind your goals: Research shows that setting personally meaningful goals generally have higher success rates because they provide intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation comes purely from within, from a deep sense of interest, enjoyment, purpose, fulfilment, passion, and determination. A goal must be worthwhile and meaningful enough to you to devote yourself to the process. Even when you face obstacles and hardships, intrinsic motivation fuels perseverance and resilience by turning challenges into opportunities for discovery, growth, and learning, making the journey itself enjoyable and inherently valuable. When identifying your goals, ensure that there are elements of intrinsic motivation behind them. Ask yourself, are you willing to do the hard work that is necessary to accomplish this goal? Will you be able to stay motivated even when faced with challenges? Are you willing to be patient and commit to the process?   Prioritizing fewer goals: You cannot do everything at once. There is only 24 hours in a day. Our brains have limited resources. We have limited amounts of energy. Switching tasks and topics constantly drains cognitive energy and decreases quality and progress. Having too many goals at once makes them compete for your attention. In contrast, a targeted focus and commitment to fewer goals promotesdeeper work, deeper curiosity, higher quality, and increased joy in the task. Only prioritize the goals that are most important to you right now. “You can have it all, just not at once” -Oprah Winfrey. While achieving many life goals is possible, it requires patience, intentionality, and prioritized focus.     Action plans/systems: The means to achieve a goal are the action plans and the systems that you put in place to help you get there. Goals provide direction; systems provide progress.According to the book Atomic Habits, a handful of problems arise when people spend too much time thinking about their goals and not enough time designing their systems. Goals daydream over the result, the outcome. Systems focus on the process and the action plan. The process is the day-to-day efforts. It is hard work, patience, and resilience.  In order toimprove for good, you need to solve problems at the systems level. Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves.   Breaking goals down: By breaking big goals into smaller goals and steps, you are deliberately making your goals more manageable and building positive habits overtime. This slowly creates growth that becomes ingrained in who you are.  Start very small and aim for consistency.This is like the story of the tortoise and the hare. Slow and steady wins the race. Baby steps will prove to be more effective and sustainable than scattered bursts of effort that don’t add up.  For example, Instead of starting with the goal of writing a book, commit to writing for 10 minutes a day. Surely you can do this, you may even find that when you start writing, you continue writing past 10 minutes.     To do, Should do, Could do:  Organize your to do list into 3 categories; to do, should do, and could do. By organizing your tasks beforehand, it provides you with clarity and direction. Organizing your tasks into these three categories helps you build a solid action plan to ensure that you are prioritizing your focus on the most important tasks first. The tasks in your to do category are tasks that are at the top of your priorities, these are things you absolutely need to get done. These are the things that set tomorrow you up for success. Things that bring you closer to your desired life. You must prioritize your focus. Choose 1-3 tasks for your to do list. The next category is your should do list, these are tasks that you should do if you have extra time after you finish your to dos. Lastly, the tasks in your could do category are tasks that are extra things that you could do if you have extra time and you choose to do them.  Importance of planned rest: You do not need to maximize every moment. Not only do breaks and rest help you recharge, it also enhances creativity, information retention, and idea generation. Research shows that rest improves focus, work life balance, and productivity by reducing burnout and stress. Rest is a priority. This is why I make sure to have schedules rests. Make time for intentional breaks and rest in your schedule. Block out time in your schedule for a planned break just like you would for an important appointment. Plan short 10-15 minute breaks and longer full day or weekend rests to truly help you detox and recharge. There are different kinds of rest.  Listen to your mind, body, and spirit. Ask yourself what you need. Are you mentally drained, physically tired, or emotionally depleted. What can you do to intentionally plan pockets of rest into your schedule? How can you take care of yourself while working towards your goals? In this season of your life, with the resources you have, how can you create somebreathing room? How can you work to balance work, play, and rest?  Mentally drained: Take a walk, spend time on hobbies, get outside, watch tv, read, get a nice meal, spend a night in.  Physically tired: Sleep, get a nice meal, take a bath, stretch, read, watch tv.  Emotionally depleted: Spend time with loved ones, take a walk, spend time on hobbies, take a night out, dance, exercise.  Positive Affirmations: Turn your goals into positive, present tense statements. Statements like I am someone who is responsible with my money. I am capable of becoming financially independent. I am someone who takes care of my body. I am getting stronger. I am resilient, I am brave. I am a leader. I am a good student. I am a writer. When positive affirmations are repeated regularly, they strengthen neural pathways in the brain associated with confidence, motivation, and resilience. When you regularly reinforce positive affirmations, you are training your brain to focus on opportunities, positivity, and growth, rather than negativity and limitations. For example, if your repeatedly affirm “ I am brave” then your brain will be more prone to pursue new opportunities with confidence. You may naturally stand taller and speak with confidence. Positive affirmations can be used to help guide your decisions and actions. You are training your brain and yourself. For example, If you are a good student, how do you show up? A good student is prepared. A good student is focused and curious. Tell yourself that you are a good student, then show up as you believe a good student would show up.  Action is key, Affirmations work to train your mind, but action is necessary to turn thought into reality.   The affirmations pave the way, you must provide the will. Will is the strong desire, discipline, anddetermination needed to achieve your goals.  Goal Punch card: Essentially, a goal punch card is a measurable way to work towards a goal and each time you complete the task, you get to check a box off. When you check off all the boxes, you get a reward. You get to give yourself a reward. What would your reward be? Would it be a nice meal, a fun activity, going shopping, a night out, a spa day, a day off, a treat? A goal punch card makes your goals visual, providing a dopamine release with each box you check off increasing motivation and credibility.      References   Mapp, J. W. (2024, December 26). Harnessing the fresh start effect to achieve your goals. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/4000-mondays/202412/fresh-starts-the-psychology-behind-new-year-motivation  Berkman, E. T. (2018). The neuroscience of goals and behavior change. Consulting Psychology Journal, 70(1), 28–44. https://doi.org/10.1037/cpb0000094 [https://doi.org/10.1037/cpb0000094]  Clear, J. (2020, February 4). Forget about setting goals. focus on this instead. James Clear. https://jamesclear.com/goals-systems [https://jamesclear.com/goals-systems]  The science behind positive affirmations in Coaching Success. (n.d.). https://www.coachhub.com/blog/the-science-behind-positive-affirmations-and-how-they-impact-coaching-success#:~:text=The%20human%20brain%20is%20constantly,affirmations%20have%20stress%2Dreduction%20capabilities [https://www.coachhub.com/blog/the-science-behind-positive-affirmations-and-how-they-impact-coaching-success#:~:text=The%20human%20brain%20is%20constantly,affirmations%20have%20stress-reduction%20capabilities].  Moniuszko, S. (2025, January 1). New Year’s resolutions often don’t last. Here’s why they fail and how to keep them, according to an expert. CBS News. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/new-years-resolutions-tips-why-they-fail/ [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/new-years-resolutions-tips-why-they-fail/]    370. Your year for doing less and achieving more. (2026, January 1). Spotify. https://open.spotify.com/episode/3sX3zoxdMMeEtfTeuUxI9q?si=UBdsAN2lSyO9gplUoTkbwQ [https://open.spotify.com/episode/3sX3zoxdMMeEtfTeuUxI9q?si=UBdsAN2lSyO9gplUoTkbwQ] Change Your Life this year: how to get from where you are to where you want to be. (2025, December 29). Spotify. https://open.spotify.com/episode/73LyE4FOV8jQCLfcD5qGR0?si=DWnDU-cITN2HtE2gNZJxng [https://open.spotify.com/episode/73LyE4FOV8jQCLfcD5qGR0?si=DWnDU-cITN2HtE2gNZJxng]

Quality over Quantity

Quality over quantity, a meaningful approach that focuses on value over volume.  It suggests that it is not about how much you, it is about how much value it has.   It's about intentionality, slowing down, doing fewer things better, and finding abundance in having enough rather than constantly seeking more. In this episode, we will apply the principle quality over quantity to maximize productivity, conserve energy, promote fulfilling relationships, and bring intentionality to purchases!     EPISODE NOTES  Productivity:   The principle of quality over quantity invites you to focus on one thing at a time, instead of rushing through 5 tasks, do one and do it well then carry on to the next. According to The National Library of Medicine, multitasking can impair cognitive functions such as memory problem solving, and decision making. Even though multitasking may appear effective, it might result in significant time loss and lower task performance. Switching between tasks causes the brain to reposition itself which drains cognitive energy.   Another way that you can set yourself up for success is by choosing one category to devote your focus to for a certain period of time. Instead of jumping around from creative tasks to more logical systematic tasks, organize your to do list accordingly to maximize your brain power and focus. Pair creative tasks with creative tasks. Pair logical tasks with logical tasks. Play around with it a little bit, it might be helpful to devote each day to a certain category of tasks. Like on Monday, I get all the chores done around the house. On Tuesday, I evaluate my finances and work on my investments. Additionally, your physical environment also impactsyour ability to focus and get quality work done. Personal touches, pops of color, a nice beverage, or a snack can lead to better quality work! Other factors like your physical appearance and how you feel about yourself influence work quality and focus as well. Putting more effort in how you present yourself in a way that makes you feel confident and put together is a game changer. Look good, Feel good, Do good!    Relationships:   I would rather have 1 great friend over 100 superficial friendships. Choosing quality over quantity in relationships prompts you to seek depth in connections and emotional support from a few meaningful bonds. Factors like trust, uplift, and respect are more valuable that the sheer number of relationships you have. Partners and friends should help you flourish and seek personal growth, but they should not pick apart the things that make you who you are. When you apply quality over quantity to your relationships, it helps you be intentional with your energy to ensure that you are not draining it on unfulfilling relationships. It also shows you that you always have a choice. If a relationship is depleting your sense of self, you have the option to move on. Your quality of life should not be sacrificed to sustain a relationship.   It is your responsibility to recognize a negative relationship and take action to remove yourself from it or ask for help. There are people out there who would respect and love you for who you are. There are resources and helping hands that want to help you if you are struggling with a toxic relationship. The first step is awareness and the second step is action. No matter how big or small, what can you do to make steps toward bettering your situation. Baby steps.       Time with loved ones:   It is called quality time, because it holds value. You create the quality in the time you spend with your loved ones. Cultivate presence and make the most out both the exciting moments and the mundane everyday moments. Do not take time for granted. Limit distractions and engage. Tell them how you feel, show how much you care, hold them tight, have fun, be silly, get vulnerable, be adventurous, and be yourself. You create the quality in the time you spend with your loved ones.    Value of opinions:  You are not responsible for changing other people's opinions or living up to their expectations. Your quality of life and your perception of yourself are worth more value than the opinions of others. It doesn’t matter all that much about the quantity, what people think of you, how many people believe in you or agree with you, what truly matters at the end of the day, at the end of your life is what you think of yourself.  It is natural and healthy to be considerate of other people’s thoughts and opinions, but it must come after you have built a foundation within yourself through personal discovery, reflection, self-compassion, and seeking personal growth.     Building a quality relationship with yourself:   We choose how we present ourselves, we decide what our priorities and values are, and how we spend our time and our energy. To support a quality relationship with yourself, you must express yourtrue self and make decisions with love, authenticity, and courage. Each action and decision is an opportunity to show up authentically. Make decisions that YOU are proud of. Live a life that makes YOU happy. If is makes you happy, do it fiercely and freely. It is not your responsibility to make other people happy and live up to their expectations. Your quality of life and opinion of yourself is much more valuable than the opinions of others. This is quality over quantity.    Empower yourself with your malleability:   Through every experience, you have had yourself. You have had your own back. This persistence is one of your greatest strengths. It is what I like to call your malleability. To maintain optimism and strength through the twists and turns of life, you must empower yourself with your malleability. This is your capability, adaptability, your ability to find your way, to bounce back, to learn, and to grow. It is your freedom to choose to change, to pivot, to change your strategy, to try again, to step back, or to step up. This malleability helps ground you in an inner knowing of who you are and trust in yourself. You stay grounded in yourself and you will never be lost. When we get wrapped up in other people’s opinions, try to be someone we are not or do things to make others happy even if it depletes us, we are withering this sense of self that is so important. Honor yourself and your values because above all, that is of higher quality.       Quality over quantity belongings and purchases:  Items hold value. The principle of quality over quantity suggests that it is not about how much you have, it is about how much value it has. To promote intentionality in purchases, take a moment and ask yourself, what value would this add to my life? Is the value worth the cost? Am I still going to want this in a week or a month? Do I already have something similar? Could I make it, buy it locally, or look second hand? Is this a micro trend or do I actually like it?     Trends:  you do not always have to be on trend. Your body, identity, and style are beautiful and unique to you. You do not need to chase fleeting beauty standards and fads. Accept and celebrate your authentic self. Lead with your values and tap into your intrinsic worth. Prioritize the things that bring you joy and the people that love you for who you truly are. Trends are temporary; you are permanent. The best things in life are timeless. Time with loved ones, a home cooked meal, a meaningful compliment, achieving your goals, feeling good in your own skin, laughing so hard your stomach hurts. These are the things in life that are of the highest quality.

Lean into Gratitude

Just like the seasons of the year, I believe we go through seasons and changes in our lives. Whether you are in a season in your life full of momentum and abundance or in a season of rest and healing, gratitude should be a part of it. In today’s episode we will dive into the science of gratitude, the impacts it has on us and how we can cultivate more of it! Additionally, I want to share a few ways that we can romanticize this fall and winter season because it is your responsibility to create enjoyment in your life.   EPISODE NOTES Gratitude:It is more than a positive emotion, it is the cognitive and emotional recognition of the things that positively contribute to your overall wellbeing. Gratitude is a deep inner appreciation, an affirmation for the goodness in your life. Gratitude can be felt for tangible things like a warm meal or intangible things like feeling well rested after a good night's sleep. Essentially, gratitude gives you the awareness of the wonderful things in your life like your life, your health, and your loved ones and prompts you to appreciate and take care of them! Studies show that people are generally more grateful during the fall and winter holiday season due to traditions, time with loved ones, and the new year coming up. However, gratitude can and should be cultivated all year round. It should be part of your lifestyle, your routine, a ritual of your wellbeing. Gratitude practices are unique to the individual. They are not meant to feel like a task and add more stress to your life. Quite the opposite actually, a gratitude practice is meant to help ground you and act as a natural stress detox for your mind and body. It is meant to anchor you back with love, strength, and optimism. When choosing a gratitude practice, make sure it is something you can easily incorporate into your day or your week. Make sure it is sustainable and fulfilling for you. Gratitude list: It can be in a journal, in your head, anywhere. The key with lists is that you must be specific and provide depth and detail. Don’t just be grateful for the sun, be grateful for the comforting warmth it brings to your skin and the way it naturally rejuvenates and uplifts you. Gratitude lists are not about how many items you list or how extravagant the items are, it is about how they make you feel. Gratitude feels like warmth in the body, a deep sense of uplift, spaciousness in the chest and heart, automatic tears or an uncontrollable smile.  My favorite way to go about a gratitude list is to reflect on what I am grateful for while I am lying in bed before I fall asleep or right when I wake up. Gratitude letter: You must physically write this letter, sign it at the bottom, everything. Physically writing requires more creativity, presence, and cognitive processing than typing or thinking because it employs motor, visual, and cognitive functions. Write a gratitude letter to yourself, your loved ones, your pets, the trees, the clouds, where you grew up, your favorite place to travel, anything! Pour your gratitude, love, and appreciation into this letter, I promise you, you will feel the full body experience of gratitude uplift you. Be present:  Presence and gratitude go hand in hand. Presence helps you cultivate gratitude and gratitude helps you cultivate presence. When we are present in the moment, we are more likely to recognize the gifts and little pockets of joy in our lives. See anew: Look at the world as if it is the first time you are experiencing it. Romanticize the little moments and details in your day-to-day life. Romanize your daily routines, turn your routines into rituals. Like making yourself dinner, turn on your favorite music, prep your ingredients with care, plate your food like it is art, enjoy each bite. As you are getting ready for bed turn it into a full self-care experience, moisturize your skin, wear your favorite pajamas, light a candle, put the phone down. And don’t tell me you don’t have time. You deserve these moments of self-love. How can you make time for them in your life? Use your free will: You are responsible for making your life enjoyable, that is free will. Instead of passively waiting for joy and excitement, create it by making intentional decisions that bring joy and excitement to your life! You do not need an excuse to dress up, or make your favorite meal, or buy yourself flowers, or hug your loved ones. You are alive, that is reason enough for anything. The present moment is one of a kind, no one knows what tomorrow will bring but you are here right now. Make the most out of the moment, here and now. Let gratitude into your home: The spaces you work and live have a profound impact on your mental wellbeing from your stress levels to your overall mood. A dark, cluttered space that doesn’t feel like home can set the tone for mental health issues, overwhelm, and stress. In contrast, creating an uplifting space with your belongings, personal touches, cleanliness, and organization can foster a sense of calm and clarity and decrease feelings of stress and anxiety. When you take the time to organize and keep your spaces tidy, it is easier to keep track of things and navigate your life with more ease. When you are surrounded with colors and items that are meaningful, it naturally cultivates gratitude. HEY, THANK YOU: Saying please and thank you, these simple manners change the tone of an interaction. Say thank you to the barista who made your coffee, the person who held the door for you, but most importantly, say thank you to your loved ones. Say thank you to your mom for her patience, say thank you to your friends for their support. Keep the effort alive! When someone you love does something kind for you, don't forget to tell them thank you. Just because you know they are awesome, don’t forget to remind them. These recognitions and small acts of kindness help your relationships thrive. They make your loved ones feel valued, loved, and secure. Acknowledging other people's contributions and gifts helps to promote individual growth by increasing their self-esteem and empowering them to continue expressing their positive qualities and seek further personal growth.