Teleportation

Life After Death

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1937854/fan_mail/new] Do YOU know what happens after you die?  No?  Well then, stop judging.  Next time, we'll do a "Life BEFORE Death" and see how "exciting" that ends up being.

Power Sources

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1937854/fan_mail/new] WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF ULTIMATE POWER.  DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO COMPLETE OUR 70 SEMESTER TRAINING COURSE OF PUSHING OURSELVES TO OUR LIMITS?  GOOD.  GET YOUR CREDIT CARD READY, THEN, BECAUSE YOU'RE IN FOR A WORLD OF HURT.  YOU. WILL. FEEL. PAIN.  BUT PAIN IS JUST WEAKNESS LEAVING OUR PITIFUL BODIES. I HAVEN'T SLEPT FOR 6 YEARS AND NEITHER WILL YOU.  YOU WILL CRY.  YOU WILL THROW UP.  WE WILL SPEND HOURS SCREAMING AT OURSELVES IN THE MIRROR.   IF YOU CAN'T TAKE IT, YOU LITTLE BITCH, THEN LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST ABOUT POWER SOURCES FROM TWO SNOWFLAKES.  YOU'LL LEARN ABOUT SITTING BACK AND BEING LAZY WHILE THE EARTH'S NATURAL RESOURCES PULL THEIR WEIGHT AND STEAL YOUR GIRLFRIEND.  YOU DESERVE IT, YOU CUCK.

Nanorobots

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1937854/fan_mail/new] Did you know each pixel in your monitor is run by a tiny little nanorobot?  You didn't?  Well now you know- Nah, I'm just messing with you.  It's just a bunch of LEDs or something.  The real good stuff is what it's powered by: The crushed souls of your future enemies.  The brighter it is, the more enemies you defeat later in life.... Wow! You must have a lot of enemies!  I'm betting you defeat them using Nanorobots.  Therefore, it's practically a requirement that you listen to this full lesson on building and managing Nanorobots for the sake of your legacy.

Space Mining (2050)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1937854/fan_mail/new] Heigh ho!  Heigh ho!  It's off to work we go!  With a-- [ROCKET EXPLOSION] (The dwarves were never heard from again...)

Teleportation

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1937854/fan_mail/new] ::BZZT/CRZZT/SHOCKNAWE:: This podcast has been zapped to your listening ears thanks to the power of teleportation.  Actually, we haven't even begun recording this episode yet.  We're sitting in our "studio", waiting for you to start so that we can instantaneously record for you live.  Everything you're about to hear will be coming from our mouths the moment you hear it.  Isn't that cool?! Teleportation offers so many interesting capabilities. (Our lawyers wanted to ensure that everyone knows we can't legally be held liable if people actually believe that's how teleportation works)