Built in the Fire: Buddy Clay’s Journey Through Cancer, Faith, and Finding Humor

Built in the Fire: Buddy Clay’s Journey Through Cancer, Faith, and Finding Humor

On this episode of the Cancer and Comedy Podcast, Dr. Brad Miller sits down with Buddy Clay—husband, dad of three girls, mental health CEO, and author of Built in the Fire—to unpack what it really looks like to live, lead, and love in the middle of a stage 4 melanoma diagnosis. Buddy shares how a “harmless” mole on his back turned into a life-altering cancer journey, why he walked away from a traditional treatment plan, and how faith, radical lifestyle changes, and honest conversations have reshaped everything—from his kitchen pantry to how he runs a 50-person mental health and substance use treatment organization. In this raw, hopeful, and surprisingly light conversation, Brad and Buddy explore: * How a casual nudge from friends led to a life-saving melanoma diagnosis * The shock of going from “healthy athlete” to stage 4 cancer—and the fear of not seeing his daughters grow up * Why he chose a holistic path (Gerson-style protocol, raw vegan diet, detox, whole-house changes) after surgery * The tension of faith as an anchor and faith as a wrestling match: “God, why me?” vs. “God is still sovereign” * What his biopsy revealed—and why he needed proof his lifestyle changes were actually doing something * The meaning behind “Built in the Fire” and why we don’t rise to the occasion, we fall to our foundation * Leading a mental health and substance use facility while battling cancer—and what happened when he finally got honest with his staff * How his diagnosis made him a more empathetic leader, especially with clients facing addiction, anxiety, and depression * A powerful story of a client with cancer who dropped his “chip on the shoulder” after Buddy shared his own struggle * Why vulnerability from the “CEO” can transform an organization’s culture * Finding humor in the weirdest places (including drinking coffee… from the other end) * Practical first steps Buddy recommends for anyone who just heard, “You have cancer”—including why you should slow down, breathe, get second opinions, and take things one day at a time This episode isn’t a polished “success story”—it’s a real-time look at a man living in the fire, building a stronger foundation for his faith, family, and work while nothing is guaranteed. If you or someone you love is facing cancer, leadership stress, or just the weight of life’s uncertainties, this conversation will help you: * See that nobody is immune to fear, anxiety, or mental health struggles * Trade pretending for honest vulnerability * Start building (or rebuilding) the foundation you’ll fall back on when life heats up Together, we keep working to turn the grim of cancer into the grin of a fulfilled life—even when the fire is still burning.

Living Fully and Finishing Well: Lessons from My Friend Joe Bottorf's Inspiring Final Chapter.

In this heartfelt and inspiring episode of Cancer and Comedy, Dr. Brad Miller and Deb Krier explore what it means to "live a full life and finish strong," weaving together the threads of hope, humor, faith, and community. Dr. Brad Miller opens up about the recent loss of his dear friend Joe Bottorf, a man who embodied positivity, purpose, and connection until his final days. Through powerful storytelling and thoughtful reflection, the episode offers listeners practical lessons and emotional wisdom drawn from Joe’s life and legacy—lessons that resonate deeply for anyone impacted by cancer or facing adversity. The episode starts on a light note with a few classic "bad dad jokes," a nod to the show’s signature blend of laughter amidst life’s difficulties. Deb Krier and Dr. Brad Miller then shift to a moving recounting of Joe's passion for community, his involvement in ministry and music, and the courage he displayed through the challenges of illness and loss. A focal point of the episode is Joe’s determination to attend and contribute to an Easter service despite his declining health. Supported physically by his daughter and his church community, Joe delivers a poignant benediction, emphasizing faith over fear and modeling how to be a contributor rather than simply a recipient, even at life’s end. Throughout the conversation, Dr. Brad Miller and Deb Krier reflect on the universal themes revealed by Joe’s story: the importance of having meaningful, achievable goals; the value of community and human connection; the impact of intentional end-of-life planning; and the enduring power of gratitude and contribution. Listeners are invited to join the "Cancer and Comedy" community, participate in ongoing conversations, and reconsider what it means to finish strong—whatever their journey or prognosis. Key Takeaways 1. Vision Beyond Circumstances Joe’s story illustrates how valuable it is to set your sights beyond immediate difficulties, such as illness or adversity. Despite being homebound and in hospice, Joe established meaningful and attainable goals—like participating in an Easter service. Dr. Brad Miller and Deb Krier stress that having a vision that transcends your current situation can galvanize both energy and purpose, helping you live more fully even in hard times 14:17. 2. Show Up and Be Present—Even When It’s Hard The episode underscores the significance of showing up, physically or virtually, and being present for yourself and others, regardless of how challenging life becomes. Joe’s preparation for and presence at the Easter service, where he delivered a benediction, was not just symbolic but deeply impactful for his community. "There’s something profound about your presence that is important there—you still matter," Dr. Brad Miller observes 17:00. 3. Speak Your Truth and Plan Intentionally Both speakers highlight the importance of intentional communication and planning. Whether it’s expressing love and gratitude, clarifying funeral wishes, or sharing words of wisdom, doing so while you are able is a precious gift to those left behind. Joe meticulously planned his own funeral and used his remaining time to connect with family and friends, ensuring his wishes were known and his relationships strengthened 19:02. 4. Stay Connected—Community and Relationships as Medicine Isolation can be one of the biggest challenges for those going through cancer or other hardships. Joe maintained ties with his faith community through virtual services and regular outreach, and he made space for visits from cherished friends and family. Connection provided comfort, meaning, and even opportunities for continued contribution. Deb Krier notes, "He lived until that very last day... he made sure what he did was to serve others." 22:19. 5. Let Others Hold You Up—It’s Okay to Ask for (and Accept) Help A powerful image from the episode is Joe being physically supported by his daughter and pastor during his final benediction. In the words of Dr. Brad Miller, "We are weak, but we are strong together... You don’t have to do all this stuff alone. We can be lifted up by others." 26:30. Accepting help fosters connection and dignity for both giver and receiver. Final Thoughts * This episode of Cancer and Comedy captures the essence of living and dying well: setting meaningful goals, planning with intention, strengthening connections, and embracing both the giving and receiving of support. Dr. Brad Miller and Deb Krier remind us that it’s never too late to make a difference in others’ lives—or to let others make a difference in ours. Finishing strong isn’t just about enduring to the end; it’s about contributing love, laughter, and meaning wherever your journey leads. Follow & subscribe to Cancer and Comedy: https://cancerandcomedy.com/follow [https://cancerandcomedy.com/follow] Get your free resource on coping with cancer through hope and humor: https://cancerandcomedy.com/free [https://cancerandcomedy.com/free]

Encore: Bridging Laughter and Science: Positive Psychology, Cancer, and Humor with Merv Neal (Australia’s Leading Laughter Expert)

In this episode of Cancer and Comedy, host Dr. Brad Miller is joined by Merv Neal, Australia's leading laughter expert, to explore the healing power of laughter. Merv shares his unique journey from a successful business career to becoming a laughter therapist after a life-threatening health crisis. Following years of stress and overwork, Merv found himself facing a severe medical emergency, but instead of succumbing to the situation, he found solace and healing in laughter. This unexpected remedy led him to discover laughter's powerful physical, mental, and emotional benefits. Merv discusses his work with laughter therapy, which involves using laughter as an exercise, not just for humor, but as a therapeutic tool to enhance health. He explains how laughter yoga, combined with breathing exercises, helps individuals boost their mood, increase energy, and improve physical health. Merv emphasizes that laughter doesn’t have to be spontaneous; even simulated laughter can benefit healing. Dr. Brad Miller shares his own experience with cancer and how laughter became his response to a challenging diagnosis. The conversation underscores the role of laughter in shifting negative emotions and promoting positive well-being, especially in the face of illness. Merv also highlights his research, which led to the development of a formula that quantifies the therapeutic effects of laughter. He’s worked with various organizations and health professionals to prove that laughter is a temporary escape and a long-term strategy for improving physical and mental health. This episode reminds us that laughter can be vital to the healing process, whether recovering from illness, dealing withstress, or simply looking to improve your emotional health. Merv Neal’s work inspires individuals to laugh more, embrace joy, and explore the positive impacts of laughter on life. Merv Neal’s Links: Website: mervneal.com [http://mervneal.com/] Brad Miller’s Links: Website: https://cancerandcomedy.com/ [https://cancerandcomedy.com/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfP2JvmMDeBzbj3mziVGJUw [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfP2JvmMDeBzbj3mziVGJUw] LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robertbradleymiller/ [https://www.linkedin.com/in/robertbradleymiller/]

Bridging Health Equity: Dr. Eugene Manley on Cancer, AI, and Making Science Accessible.

On this episode of the Cancer and Comedy Podcast, Dr. Brad Miller sits down with Dr. Eugene Manley—cancer scientist, nonprofit founder, Black health equity advocate, and STEM mentor—to talk about what really happens at the intersection of cancer, racism, AI, and everyday people just trying to survive the system. From growing up as a kid in Detroit with severe asthma and a dad who smoked, to earning a PhD in lung cancer and building a nonprofit to serve communities that medicine has historically ignored, Eugene shares a story that is at once painfully honest, outrage-inducing, hopeful, and surprisingly funny. In this candid, clear‑eyed, and often laugh‑through‑the‑pain conversation, Brad and Eugene dive into: * Growing up sick in a smoky household and how early hospital experiences led him toward science * Watching his mom battle both cancer and a broken system as a low‑income, Black woman on Medicaid * Why he built SCHEQ to boost STEM pathways, degree navigation, and health literacy for diverse communities * Creating the Lung Cancer Health Equity Summit so Black and Hispanic patients aren’t “the only one in the room” * AI in cancer—promise and pitfalls, especially when algorithms are trained on non‑diverse data * How to navigate a new cancer diagnosis, including key questions patients should ask but often don’t * Translating complex science into 5th–8th grade language through vetted infographics and patient input * Facing medical racism firsthand and teaching people to read their charts, get proxies, and advocate for themselves * Sustaining joy and inspiring the next generation, from karaoke and community care to mentoring future Black and Brown scientists This episode isn’t a polished TED Talk about “fixing healthcare.” It’s a real‑world roadmap for: * See clearly how race, income, and education shape who gets cancer care—and who doesn’t. * Learn the key questions to ask so you’re not steamrolled by jargon, paperwork, and broken systems. * Understand how AI, advocacy, and plain human persistence can team up to close deadly gaps in care. * Find language for injustices you’ve felt but couldn’t quite explain—and concrete steps to push back. * Walk away with practical strategies, plus hope and humor, for changing healthcare from the inside out. Together, we can keep turning the harsh realities of cancer and inequity into the grin of communities that are informed, empowered, and no longer alone in the fight.

Navigating Sex and Intimacy After Cancer With Humor and Honesty

On this episode of the Cancer and Comedy Podcast, Dr. Brad Miller and Deb Krier open up about a topic that almost never makes it into the exam room—but lives in the bedroom, the bathroom, and the mirror: What happens to sex, intimacy, and feeling “like a man” or “like a woman” after cancer? Speaking from their own stories—Brad as a prostate cancer survivor and Deb as a breast cancer survivor—they have a candid, funny, and deeply compassionate conversation about living in a changed body, navigating desire, and redefining closeness when spontaneity, sensation, and confidence all get shaken. In this honest, tender, and laugh‑out‑loud real conversation, Brad and Deb share: * Walking through prostate cancer and its impact on masculinity, erections, continence, and self-worth * Choosing a double mastectomy with no reconstruction—and what everyday life is like living “flat” * Grieving the loss of sensation, spontaneity, and the familiar body you once knew * Navigating pumps, injections, and implants as real—but far from glamorous—options for intimacy * Managing prosthetics and “knitted knockers” and the awkward logistics of putting boobs on (and taking them off) * Shifting roles from patient and caregiver back to partners and lovers * Facing unspoken fears about identity, attractiveness, and whether sex is really “over” * Reclaiming closeness through cuddling, hand-holding, and non-sexual touch * Starting honest conversations with doctors about sex, even when they avoid the topic * Deciding when and how to talk about scars in the world of dating and new relationships * Finding moments of humor in the most uncomfortable situations—because sometimes if you don’t laugh, you cry This episode isn’t a how‑to manual for “perfect sex after cancer.” It’s a real-world guide to: * Talking about the hard stuff instead of pretending it’s fine * Redefining intimacy when your body has been cut, stitched, and rearranged * Giving yourself and your partner grace, patience, and permission to laugh If cancer has changed your body, your sex life, or the way you see yourself in the mirror, this conversation will help you: * Feel less alone in the awkward and the unspoken, * Start the conversations you’ve been avoiding—with your partner and your doctors, and * Find hope, humor, and new ways to be close in a “new normal” you didn’t choose. Together, we can keep turning the grim realities of cancer into the grin of a life still full of love, touch, and connection.