Finding the Right Therapist: Trust Your Gut and Ask Better Questions

Finding the Right Therapist: Trust Your Gut and Ask Better Questions

Finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming, especially when you’ve already worked hard just to make the appointment. In this episode of Chitty Chats with Stacy, Stacy talks honestly about what clients should look for when searching for a therapist—and what therapists need to do better when creating safety, trust, and connection from the very first interaction. Stacy shares practical questions clients can ask, including questions about licensing, training, therapy experience, specialized populations, and treatment modalities. She also reminds listeners that the therapeutic relationship matters deeply. If something feels off, it’s okay to trust your gut and keep looking. This episode is for clients trying to find a good fit, therapists wanting to create safer spaces, and anyone who believes healing starts with relationship. In this episode, Stacy explores the often frustrating process of finding the right therapist. She shares that many people have to meet several therapists before finding a good fit, and she challenges clinicians to think more deeply about how they create safety from the very beginning. Stacy talks about why the first appointment matters, especially for people with PTSD, complex trauma, military experiences, foster/adoption histories, or other specialized needs. She names some of the things that can go wrong, from appointment miscommunication to sensory distractions to therapists jumping into techniques without context or relationship. She also gives listeners practical guidance for choosing a therapist, including looking at: licensing and credentials, specialized training, treatment modalities, comfort and connection, therapist self-awareness, whether the therapist has been in therapy, and whether the therapist has experience with your specific needs. The heart of this episode is simple: the relationship matters. Therapy can change your brain and your life, but only when there is enough safety and trust to do the work. If you leave a session knowing it is not a good fit, Stacy encourages you to listen to that instinct and keep looking.

The Power of One Caring Adult: A Chitty Chat with Jim Sporleder

In this heartfelt Chitty Chat, Stacy sits down with Jim Sporleder, longtime educator, administrator, trauma-responsive pioneer, and one of the familiar faces from Paper Tigers. Together, they reflect on more than four decades of work with students, schools, and communities — and the powerful truth that one caring adult can change the direction of a child’s life. Jim shares how his unexpected start in special education shaped his entire career, why relationships remain at the center of trauma-responsive practice, and how the work continues today through bus drivers, school systems, and the often-overlooked adults who shape a student’s day before they ever enter the classroom. This conversation is a reminder for educators, helpers, and anyone who cares about kids: the wins may not always show up today. Sometimes they arrive years later, in a message, a lunch, a memory, or a story from someone who finally gets to say, “You mattered.”  Jim's Bio:  33 years in Public Education. 12 yrs Special Education Teacher 4 yrs Assistant Principal-Garrison Middle School 10 yrs Principal-Garrison Middle School 7 yrs Principal Lincoln Alternative High School Lincoln Alternative High School became one of the first schools in the nation to implement a trauma responsive approach school-wide. Due to the dramatic impact on less student discipline, increased graduation rates, and higher student performance in state testing, Lincoln was recognized by Jane Stevens from Aces Connections in which her article went viral reaching international attention, which then caught the attention of Jamie Redford and KPJR Films. Jamie Redford spent a year filming Lincoln High School where Paper Tigers was released at the Seattle International Film Festival and went on to become nationally and internationally recognized. Since my retirement from Lincoln High School, I have traveled the country helping schools transform into trauma responsive schools. I retired from full time travel in 2023, and have been working with the Modesto City School District, California 3 days a month for the past two years. My life has been enriched by the many colleagues and friendships made on this special journey.

Tangled, Not Broken: EMDR, Neurodiversity, and the Nervous System with Laurie Belanger

In this episode of Chitty Chats with Stacy, Stacy sits down with clinical social worker, trauma therapist, EMDRIA-approved consultant, educator, and Safe and Sound Protocol provider Laurie Belanger for a rich conversation about trauma, neurodiversity, EMDR, dissociation, and nervous system healing. Laurie shares her belief that people are “tangled, not broken,” and offers a deeply compassionate way of understanding complex trauma, especially in children, adoptive and foster families, neurodiverse individuals, and adults still carrying the impact of early experiences. Together, Stacy and Laurie explore why trauma and neurodiversity do not always fit into neat diagnostic boxes, how EMDR helps bridge the body and the mind, and why clinicians must remember they are not just technicians following steps—they are regulated humans bringing presence, discernment, and relationship into the room. They also unpack the Safe and Sound Protocol, using Laurie’s powerful explanation of the “sticky lever” in the ear and how our nervous system can become tuned to emergency settings. This conversation is full of practical wisdom, clinical depth, and the kind of nervous-system-informed language that helps people feel seen instead of labeled. This episode is a beautiful listen for therapists, educators, parents, caregivers, and anyone interested in trauma-informed healing, complex developmental trauma, dissociation, EMDR, neurodiversity, and the power of feeling safe enough to become more fully yourself.  Laurie's Bio:  Laurie Belanger, LCSW-R, is a seasoned psychotherapist specializing in the practical, individualized use of EMDR therapy integrated into complex presentations. She is known for being creative and adaptive. Over a career of 25 years Laurie has developed skill treating complex trauma, sensory differences, chronic pain, adoption trauma, SMH diagnosis, and neurodiversity. As an approved EMDR Consultant and Education Provider through EMDRIA, she helps colleagues build a sustainable and enjoyable best practice. Dedicated to providing cross discipline education, Laurie enjoys translating complex ideas into relatable, impactful material. Website: lauriebelanger.com  FaceBook https://www.facebook.com/laurie.belangerlcsw  Linkedin www.linkedin.com/in/laurie-belanger-lcswr-1266113a  Instagram laurie_the_adhd_trauma_geek  You can also find some courses with me at UB School of Social Work Office of Continuing Education https://ubswce.ce21.com/item/emotional-safety-therapy-room-tools-strategies-resourcing-clients-ages-127442#tabFaculty

Chitty Chats with Stacy with Andy Grant: Success, Suicide, and the Space Men Need to Heal

In this episode of Chitty Chats with Stacy, Stacy sits down with Andy Grant—author, coach, energy worker, and host of the long-running Real Men Feel podcast—for a deep and honest conversation about men, masculinity, emotional numbness, suicidal thoughts, and the gap between outward success and internal emptiness. Together, Stacy and Andy explore why so many men feel alone in their pain, how cultural expectations can keep men disconnected from themselves, and why asking for help may be one of the bravest things a person can do. Andy shares practical tools for moving through heaviness, including movement, journaling, gratitude, affirmations, mirror work, and finding real connection with other men. This conversation is about more than masculinity. It is about being human, learning to feel again, and remembering that healing often begins when we stop carrying everything alone. Andy Grant has been helping people for over fifteen years as a best-selling author, speaker, Transformational Energy Coach, Healer, teacher, suicide prevention activist, and host of the award-winning podcast, Real Men Feel. He holds certificates in Positive Psychology, the Enwaken Coaching System, Akashic Records, Life Activation, and other leadership programs and energy work modalities. Known as the King of Authenticity, Andy is the founder of Real Men Feel, a movement encouraging men to come out of the emotional closet. Andy has been producing and hosting the Real Men Feel podcast since February of 2016. As a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, Andy knows how low we as human beings can feel, and he is committed to helping people realize how magnificent life is meant to be. His Amazon best-seller, Still Here: How to Succeed in Life After Failing at Suicide, has helped people around the globe and includes everything he wished he knew at a younger age. Andy is also an initiate of the Modern Mystery School. Learn more at TheAndyGrant.com TheAndyGrant.com Connect with Andy on Facebook: facebook.com/afgrant facebook.com/realmenfeelshow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theandygrant/ https://www.instagram.com/realmenfeelshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theandygrant LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andyfgrant/ See all of Andy's books https://amazon.com/author/andygrant Real Men Feel Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/real-men-feel/id1107137758 Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/78U5M6iDR2QWkPUl6Ch62c YouTube https://www.YouTube.com/realmenfeel

Listener Questions: Childless Not by Choice in a Child-Centered World: Alexandra

In this Listener Questions episode, Stacy responds to a powerful and tender question from Alexandra about navigating life as someone who is childless not by choice while working in an environment centered around children. This conversation explores the reality of living grief, the unexpected triggers that can surface in classrooms and child-focused spaces, and the importance of regulating your body without making children responsible for your emotions. Stacy offers practical, compassionate ways to sit with grief, locate it in the body, use bilateral movement or music to process the heaviness, and ask the deeper question: How can this live inside of me without wrecking me every day? This episode is also a reminder that you do not have to be a parent to deeply impact children. Your presence, steadiness, compassion, and emotional awareness matter. Stacy closes by reflecting on Alexandra’s insight that stress and trauma responses are physiological, not character flaws—and that when we move from judgment to understanding, empathy, and compassion, everything changes.