Chronically Illing Out

Chronically Illing Out | E28 - Listening to Your Body

59 min · 20 de abr de 2026

Descripción

Trigger warning: this episode contains discussion on sexual assault and violence. Chronic Illness in Review Marilyn [https://substack.com/profile/357892741-marilyn] Bretherick arrives at this episode as someone who has spent the last year doing the hard, unglamorous work of starting over from the inside. She carries CPTSD, ADHD, and anxiety — and a background in sexual abuse and human trafficking that she describes with a precision that only comes from having finally named it. She was a director of operations in tech. She was a high performer who stayed up twelve-hour stretches alongside Nick. She was also, for most of her life, someone running fast enough that she never had to stop and look at what she was running from. Then she lost her job — after sticking her neck out for Nick and other colleagues being abused by someone with power over both of them — and her body made the decision her mind hadn’t. She ended up in the ER and the doctors told her she wasn’t delusional. She was just finally paying the bill. The conversation Nick Paro [https://substack.com/profile/189675044-nick-paro], Beth Cruz [https://substack.com/profile/178744313-beth-cruz], Soso's World [https://substack.com/profile/309303179-sosos-world], and Stephanie G Wilson, PhD [https://substack.com/profile/2800378-stephanie-g-wilson-phd] navigate with Marilyn is one of the more quietly devastating ones this show has produced. Not because Marilyn is broken — she isn’t — but because she describes the architecture of high-functioning avoidance with such clarity that it lands. The insight that her instinct to develop other people was itself a way to avoid her own inner chaos. The realization that her alexithymia — the difficulty processing and expressing emotions — meant she genuinely couldn’t cry until the moment she broke down in front of a supervisor who was trying to break her. The decision to approach her own healing the way she’d approach any systems problem: crowdsourcing, ruling things out methodically, submitting to neurological evaluations and sleep studies and biopsychosocials until the picture became undeniable. The doctors told her therapy might actually be more harmful than helpful at that point. What she needed was her social bonds back. So she got a library card. She walked her dog. She enrolled in a community college and took ethics and the Civil War period and modern social problems, and found that she couldn’t even remember her high school experience — which told her something important about what her nervous system had been doing for decades. Marilyn is a woman who is strong, has had a family who valued and cared for her. And still — sexual abuse. Still, a background in labor and sex trafficking she’d never fully dealt with. She’s working now with A21, Safe House Project, Refuge for Women, and a church that, after some initial fumbling, opened its doors and helped her furnish her new apartment. She calls it falling in love with community and social bonds again. No work identity in it. No ego in it. Just the baseline: feel physically safe. Let the rest come. Steph, listening from Boston with her own chronic migraines and her mother freshly out of surgery, understands this viscerally. Soso, in Quebec, understands this viscerally. What emerges from the response to Marilyn isn’t sympathy — it’s recognition. These are people who have each, in their own way, had to learn what it costs to not listen to the body, and what becomes possible when you finally do. The episode doesn’t stay inside the personal. Nick names the current moment — the week’s public discourse has been relentless — and makes the direct link: the same systems that exploit workers, silence women, and protect abusers in executive suites are the ones that produce elected officials who murder their spouses and die by suicide with their children in the house. It’s not a diversion. It’s the same conversation. What Marilyn did at work — speak up for someone being harmed at cost to herself — is the thing the panel is trying to do every Monday morning at scale. Beth Cruz says it directly: Nick’s work made her say enough. Made her recognize that what she was living was not normal and refuse to keep living it. Marilyn closes the loop: consent has to be explicit, period. Steph adds: and silence is not a yes. It’s a no. These are not abstract principles. They come from people who know what it cost to have them violated, and what it costs to not have known them earlier. Marilyn Bretherick came on the show as Nick’s former director. She left as someone this community will want to hear from again. She gave them the plain version of what recovery looks like when you’re done performing it: community college, a dog walk, a library card, and the long, slow work of building relationships where people can actually know you. Actions You Can Take * Check out the new: Sick of this Shop! 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Cognition Labs [https://www.bcognitionlabs.com/] Thank you NeuroDivergent Hodgepodge [https://substack.com/profile/290170277-neurodivergent-hodgepodge], Mack Devlin [https://substack.com/profile/369418191-mack-devlin], LeftieProf [https://substack.com/profile/116079548-leftieprof], Ashleigh Alauren [https://substack.com/profile/337755654-ashleigh-alauren], julie elder [https://substack.com/profile/8250912-julie-elder], and many others for tuning into my live video with Stephanie G Wilson, PhD [https://substack.com/profile/2800378-stephanie-g-wilson-phd], Beth Cruz [https://substack.com/profile/178744313-beth-cruz], Soso's World [https://substack.com/profile/309303179-sosos-world], and Marilyn [https://substack.com/profile/357892741-marilyn]! Join me for my next live video in the app. Nick’s Notes I’m Nick Paro, and I’m sick of the shit going on. 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