This Is War

This Is War

Petty wars, unwarranted revenge, and all-out chaos—this episode spills the beans on the hilarious, petty, and often ridiculous conflicts we all secretly love to war over. Ever felt like going to war with your partner over parking spots? Or quietly plotting revenge for a classic schoolyard prank that’s gone wrong? You’re not alone. From the chaos at Edinburgh Zoo to the wild chaos of neighbourhood parking, we dive into the petty wars that define our daily lives—and sometimes, make us question humanity.In this no-holds-barred episode, we break down: * The petty wars with neighbours over parking spaces and the chaos of school drop-offs * The absurd “war” with household chores, bin wars, and the eternal battle over who changes the bin bag * The “war of wills”: silent treatments, duvet battles, and the hilarious fight for wardrobe dominance * Outrageous revenge stories—like secretly controlling a colleague’s laptop or burying condoms in gardens—are guaranteed to make you laugh and cringe at the same time * The social media debates and the petty conflicts you might have never even realized you’re part of, from cycle lanes to car parking tactics You'll discover how these petty conflicts often escalate into full-blown battles with hilarious consequences, revealing the absurdity of human (and pet) nature. Whether you’re a master of petty revenge or just someone who enjoys a good laugh at everyday frustrations, this episode is packed with relatable chaos that makes you realize: we’re all at war—sometimes over the stupidest things. Warning: Side effects may include uncontrollable laughter and a newfound appreciation for the chaos around you. If you want to get in touch with us you can do so via the following ways, 📩Email: clarkeoutloud@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: @clarkeoutloud 🟦 Facebook: Clarkeoutloud 🎵 TikTok: @Clarkeoutloud You can also see exclusive content on our social medias and as always please like and subscribe to the show and if you can leave a nice 5 star review.

Saints and Sinners

Most of us live with blurred lines between right and wrong — but when do we cross into true sin? 😈 In this episode of Clarke Out Loud, we dive into the wildest confessions, questionable deeds, and brain-bending conspiracy theories that will make you question everything — from trolley mishaps at Home Bargains to Shakespeare-level courtroom verdicts on mundane sins. Get ready for a rollercoaster of stories that range from the hilariously petty to the downright sinister. We examine real-life moral dilemmas and decide whether they land in the saintly or sinner territory. You'll discover: the bizarre origins of well known sinners, the truth about conspiracy theories and cultural tales that stretch the imagination. We break down whether history’s biggest mysteries are fact or fiction in a chaotic 'court room' ruling. This isn’t just a humour show. It’s an exploration of morality, absurdity, and the moments where saints become sinners — and vice versa. Perfect for anyone who loves dark humour, shocking tales, or pondering whether a selfie of yourself somehow makes you a sinner. Tune in if you're ready for a no-filter chat that’ll leave you laughing, cringing, and questioning your own level of goodness. Whether you're a believer or a skeptic, this episode refuses to shy away from the weirdest, darkest, and most hilarious stories out there. Why hit play? Because life’s too short for boring. Join us now—where the bar is low, the structure is imaginary, and the opinions are unfiltered. Let’s find out: Who’s guilty? Who’s a saint? And who’s just here for a good laugh? Ways to get in touch: If you have a memory life a fish, we’ve got you covered. If you want to share your stories, confessions or opinions let us know by commenting below or through the following methods: 📧 clarkeoutloud@gmail.com [clarkeoutloud@gmail.com] 🟦 Facebook: Clarke Out Loud 📸 Instagram: ClarkeOutLoud  🎵 TikTok: ClarkeOutLoud  If you want to be a true ‘Saint’ then give us a 5🌟 review, like and subscribe.  Share with your mates or people you hate.  If you’ve lowered your standards just enough to tolerate the madness, we’ll see you next episode 😈

Windy Wallets and Monkey Business

Most people underestimate just how weird everyday habits can get—until you realize your partner’s biscuit dipping is actually a cry for help. We dive into their funniest, most shocking stories about bizarre eating habits, ridiculous beliefs, and the wild truths lurking in the animal kingdom. From cold beans in the fridge to pandas doing handstands while peeing, this episode is a masterclass in why humans and animals alike do the strangest things and what it says about us. You’ll discover: * The surprisingly gross truth about turtles breathing through their butts and wombats shitting cubes * How Hartlepool’s monkey mayor became a local legend, and what it says about election madness * Why pandas might be the ultimate ‘piss standers,’ and the bizarre science behind animals’ insecurities * The disturbing yet hilarious manipulation of truth in politics, and the rise of the legendary “Windy Wallets” or exaggerated bullshitters * The real story behind fast-food etiquette, bad drivers, and why some people eat biscuits in the bath or cut sandwiches into dinosaur shapes Timing is everything, missing this episode means missing out on the knowledge of how animals really mark their territory, what medieval Scottish words mean today, and the secret recipe for spotting a bullshitter before they lie to your face. Perfect for trivia nerds, animal lovers, and anyone who enjoys a good laugh at human folly. Whether you’re a fan of unfiltered stories, crazy facts, or just need a bizarre escape from reality, this episode guarantees laughs, surprises, and maybe a few questioning your own habits. Sit back, relax, and prepare to have your Google history potentially ruined after all, who knew wombats pooped cubes? Guests and facts verified by Google, but the truth is way stranger than fiction. Tune in now for a wild ride through the weird, the wonderful, and the downright disturbing truths of our world—and don’t forget, if you leave us a five-star review, you might just earn your free pint. Cheers to the best podcast in the world—your weekly dose of laughs, broken morals, and animal oddities. Hit play and find out why humans, animals, and politicians are all just a little bit wilder than they seem. Get in touch with us: Email clarkeoutloud@gmail.com TikTok: @clarkeoutloud Instagram: @clarkeoutloud Please remeber to like and subscribe to the show it costs you nothing and it helps us grow. If you have not done so already please leave a 5 star review even if you didnt like it and il buy you a pint!

Mental Health

Most men suffer in silence. A staggering 75% of suicides in the UK are men, yet society still teaches us to hide our feelings and "man up." This episode reveals the hidden struggles many men face, from the pressure to appear strong and stoic to the heartbreaking reality behind high-profile suicides like Robin Williams and Avicii. If you're a man feeling overwhelmed, or if you're worried about a loved one, this episode is a wake-up call you can't afford to ignore. We break down the unspoken reasons behind men's mental health crises, how societal expectations, toxic masculinity, and personal trauma contribute to unseen pain. Alex and Abbie share insights on how stress, financial pressures, relationship issues, and past traumas silently erode well-being. You'll discover practical signs to watch for, whether in friends or yourself, and how to approach difficult conversations about feelings and mental health.This episode tackles the stigma head-on and offers tangible advice: how to reach out, when to seek help, and why vulnerability is a sign of strength, not weakness. You'll hear stories from high-profile figures whose outward success masked private struggles, and learn how mental health is a universal issue—affecting everyone, regardless of wealth or fame. If you're tired of the "macho" myth and ready to challenge the narrative, this episode is your call to action. Men need to talk more than ever, and this conversation could save lives. Whether you're listening for yourself or a loved one, you'll walk away with understanding, tools, and hope for a healthier mental outlook. Perfect for anyone wanting to break the silence around men's mental health, or for those simply searching for meaning in tough times. Don't wait until it's too late, hit play and join the movement to talk, support, and save lives.

The Dream Life

Most couples struggle to find quality time — but what if a simple podcast could change that? On this hilarious episode, We dive into the chaos of modern life, relationships, and the quirky ways We'd redesign our perfect worlds. From dream jobs involving giraffes, to choosing which animal you'd keep as a pet, and even how We would want to die — no topic is too absurd or too relatable. You’ll discover how seemingly small gestures—like leaving notes or making a cup of coffee—can keep the spark alive, even when life gets overwhelming. Alex and Abbie share candid stories about family chaos, pet mishaps, and the painful realities of shopping with kids. Plus, We hilariously debate what era we'd travel back to, and dream up our ultimate versions of happiness—complete with Chris Hemsworth, giant giraffes, and zero spiders in Australia. We break down: * How to create moments of connection in busy relationships * Why shared interests, even bizarre ones like podcasting, matter more than you think * The "what if" of designing your perfect life—who you'd love, what job you'd do, and where you'd live * The weirdest, funniest ways they've imagined their own death * Open and honest advice for couples trying to balance love, chaos, and Netflix without losing their minds This episode is a reminder that life’s imperfections and quirks are what make it worth living. Whether you're in a relationship, navigating family messes, or just love a good laugh, this conversation will inspire you to reimagine what happiness and connection really look like. Perfect for anyone craving more humour, honesty, and a dash of wild imagination in their day. If you think relationships are supposed to be perfect, think again. Hit play and laugh along as we take you on a chaotic, heartfelt ride through life’s absurdities. As usual if you want to get in touch with us with any stories or questions the way to do so is by email or social media which you can find below. Email: clarkeoutloud@gmail.com Instragram: @clarkeoutloud TikTok: @clarkeoutloud As usual please like, share and subscribe as it really helps and is massively appreciates. Thanks to you guys we have been played in 31 countries!! And finally and last of all if you havent already done so please leave a nice 5 star review for us so we can move up and keep gaining more audience. See you all next week!!!