This Is What God Is with Rae Halder

This Is What God Is with Rae Halder

Content warning: Mentions of sexual assault and child sexual abuse. We live within a system that allows sexual abuse of all kinds to flourish without much accountability, and because of that, a lot of us carry deep trauma around sex and intimacy. Rachel (Rae) Halder is one of those people, and she's also a certified trauma resolution and erotic embodiment coach with over a decade of experience helping others heal the same wounds she's been working to heal within herself. This episode deals with some heavy themes, buuuut we also talk about the Italian hippie who worshipped Rae like a sun goddess...so it's not all doom and gloom. Hehe! This is Happy Slut, after all! In this episode: * Rae's journey from childhood sexual abuse survivor to trauma resolution and erotic embodiment coach * Recovering a repressed memory years after the abuse occurred * Why our nervous systems dissociate, freeze, and fawn during sex * How unprocessed trauma gets stored in the body * The devastating gray area of consensual encounters that become traumatic experiences * Why some people intellectually want sex while their bodies experience it as unsafe * The surprising ways trauma can masquerade as asexuality * Growing up Mennonite and questioning patriarchal ideas about God, gender, and sexuality * Starting a groundbreaking blog about sexual violence before the #MeToo movement * The Italian hippie who accidentally sparked Rae's sexual awakening * Goddess worship, tantra, and discovering what truly safe erotic connection feels like * Chronic illness, interstitial cystitis, and the connection between trauma and the body * Why agency, autonomy, and choice are essential ingredients for healing * The difference between wanting sex and feeling safe enough to receive pleasure * How survivors can reclaim their sexuality without forcing themselves past their body's limits * What "erotic safety" actually means * Why healing often happens more slowly—and more gently—than we want it to FOLLOW RAE HALDER: Website: https://www.raehalder.com/ [https://www.raehalder.com/] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachel.rae.halder [https://www.instagram.com/rachel.rae.halder] Real Sex Substack: https://realsex.substack.com/ [https://realsex.substack.com/] FOLLOW SAMIA & HAPPY SLUT: Samia's Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samia.mounts/ [https://www.instagram.com/samia.mounts/] Happy Slut on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happyslutcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/happyslutcast/] Happy Slut on TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@happyslutcast [https://tiktok.com/@happyslutcast] SUPPORT THE SHOW: Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.com [https://samiamounts.substack.com/] Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts [https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts] CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts [https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts] Email me your thoughts or pitches at happyslutcast@gmail.com [happyslutcast@gmail.com]. I read every email! Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week. xoxo, Samia Mentioned in this episode: Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products! Use code CLOSETED at check-out. Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Inside the World of a Professional Orgy Organizer with Ali Bravo

Ali Bravo is a professional orgy organizer, a sex positive educator, a kinky leather artist, and a powerhouse force for destigmatizing kink, pleasure, and desire. When I met her in person a couple of weeks ago at Dixie De La Tour's Birthday Forgy (Friend Orgy), she was freshly resourced from her pre-party kink scene with one of her partners, a man who goes by the moniker Pleasure Wizard (and apparently REALLY lives up to that name!), and she was leading a group of 75 excited attendees through a consent and STI disclosure demo, capping it off with a proud announcement of her own positive herpes status. WHAT. A. BOSS. In this episode: * What it actually takes to organize a 75-person orgy * Why Ali uses kinky “pre-care” scenes as a leadership tool before big events * Growing up fat, horny, and desperate for validation * The heartbreaking origins of Ali’s pleasure journey * Discovering orgasm, restraint, and kink later in life * Why so many women struggle to stay connected to their bodies during sex * How patriarchy disconnects us from pleasure * STI disclosure, herpes stigma, and why “all the hotties have herpes” * The hilariously absurd logistics of glory holes, Grope-a-Clown boxes, pussy pageants and cockstume contests * Why whimsy, play, and crafts belong at sex parties * Ali’s philosophy on polyamory, metamours, and “aurora partnerships” * The difference between “platonic erotic” and “erotic platonic” relationships * Why getting railed is, apparently, a public health necessity * Building chosen family through kink and sex-positive community * Why everything you desire might actually be on the other side of fear READ ALI's COMPREHENSIVE STI DISCLOSURE ARTICLE: https://momotaroapotheca.com/blogs/vaginal-wellness/talking-about-stis-how-to-have-clear-amp-caring-conversations-about-sexual-health?srsltid=AfmBOopWdLDADnQIP53Y-kY3VIm3_wZuU3z4BICMcfa2c6Fqp6lVOMAE [https://momotaroapotheca.com/blogs/vaginal-wellness/talking-about-stis-how-to-have-clear-amp-caring-conversations-about-sexual-health?srsltid=AfmBOopWdLDADnQIP53Y-kY3VIm3_wZuU3z4BICMcfa2c6Fqp6lVOMAE] FOLLOW ALI BRAVO: Ali's Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raptorbravo/ [https://www.instagram.com/raptorbravo/] Ali's Leather Working Instragram: https://www.instagram.com/raptrix/ [https://www.instagram.com/raptrix/] FOLLOW SAMIA & HAPPY SLUT: Samia's Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samia.mounts/ Happy Slut on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happyslutcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/happyslutcast/] Happy Slut on TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@happyslutcast [https://tiktok.com/@happyslutcast] SUPPORT THE SHOW: Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.com [https://samiamounts.substack.com] Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts [https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts] CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts [https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts] Email me your thoughts or pitches at happyslutcast@gmail.com. I read every email! Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week. xoxo, Samia Mentioned in this episode: Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products! Use code CLOSETED at check-out. Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Women Have Out-Menned Men with Mila Jam

Mila Jam is an international pop sensation, an artivist (activist + artist), a trans icon, a rising star, and somehow magically also my friend?!?!? How did life get so cool? Mila and I go deep in this conversation. We talk about gender, womanhood, dating, celibacy, the “boyfriend show,” patriarchal conditioning, trans visibility, intimacy, emotional labor, and why so many modern women are just…tired. Also: men will apparently fuck couches. In this episode: * Mila’s journey from Southern Baptist kid to trans icon * How “the boyfriend show” can last years * The surprising freedom of celibacy * Why modern women are exhausted by men * Dating while trans in pre-social media NYC * The difference between being desired and being valued * Ghosting, emotional cowardice, and modern dating culture * How “women have out-menned men” * Patriarchy, power, and emotional labor * What women actually want from men * How to stop accepting breadcrumb relationships * Trans womanhood, safety, intimacy, and visibility * The healing power of women supporting women * Why good treatment matters more than chemistry alone For ALL THINGS Mila: https://www.milajam.com/ [https://www.milajam.com/] Listen to Mila's music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6m7wJXzvVyE0j6eef6pj1a?si=li_LtmpJSHaHoC99v78yIQ&nd=1&dlsi=8ce32e81b47b4973 [https://open.spotify.com/artist/6m7wJXzvVyE0j6eef6pj1a?si=li_LtmpJSHaHoC99v78yIQ&nd=1&dlsi=8ce32e81b47b4973] Watch Mila's iconic music videos: https://www.youtube.com/user/milajammusic [https://www.youtube.com/user/milajammusic] FOLLOW MILA ON SOCIALS: https://www.instagram.com/themilajam/ [https://www.instagram.com/themilajam/] https://www.tiktok.com/@themilajam [https://www.tiktok.com/@themilajam] SUPPORT THE SHOW! Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.com [https://samiamounts.substack.com] Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts [https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts] CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts [https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts] Email me your thoughts or pitches at happyslutcast@gmail.com. I read every email! Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week. xoxo, Samia Mentioned in this episode: Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products! Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

What If Queerness Was Infinite? with James Patrick Nelson

What if queerness was infinite, instead of limited by the strict rules and norms of our patriarchal world? What if we abandoned the binary of tops and bottoms, gays and straights, women and men, and embraced the idea--nay, the reality!--that all of us are fluid, ever-changing beings with deep wellsprings of desire and turn-on we would never know about if we didn't get curious and explore? I talk about all this and more with my guest this week, James Patrick Nelson, or as I call him, Jamie. In this episode: * Why Jamie thinks the world would be better if more straight men got fucked in the ass * The surprising emotional power of being sexually receptive * Jamie’s chaotic, joyful anal debut story (yes, it involved a threesome) * Why “top” and “bottom” are wildly insufficient ways to describe human desire * The queer loneliness of trying to fit into tiny little boxes * How the pandemic changed Jamie’s understanding of intimacy, beauty, and self-worth * Why joyful, consensual anal sex is still almost absent from mainstream media * The difference between humiliation and vulnerability—and why patriarchy confuses the two * Jamie’s very horny origin story for wanting a tattoo * A sexy game for exes that honestly might fix modern dating * Why the best sex is often about feeling truly seen and worshipped * The making of Jamie’s sensual new indie film Something to Surprise Me * How queer people are reclaiming sexuality from shame, binaries, and bad storytelling * Ass worship, emotional intimacy, and the radical act of yielding with joy SUPPORT SOMETHING TO SURPRISE ME ON SEED & SPARK: https://seedandspark.com/fund/something-to-surprise-me?token=4de1630be7d5a70c7cd806c60339bcf9a171bb0ac77ec1d99238fc1dbd4bc803#story [https://seedandspark.com/fund/something-to-surprise-me?token=4de1630be7d5a70c7cd806c60339bcf9a171bb0ac77ec1d99238fc1dbd4bc803#story] WATCH FOR YEARS TO COME: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=-Tu7iceWO2px5pPU&v=jMrHzo03fxE&feature=youtu.be [https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=-Tu7iceWO2px5pPU&v=jMrHzo03fxE&feature=youtu.be] ALL THINGS JAMIE: https://www.james-patrick-nelson.com/ [https://www.james-patrick-nelson.com/] SUPPORT THE SHOW, CUTIE PATOOT! Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.com [https://samiamounts.substack.com] Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts [https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts] CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts [https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts] Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week. xoxo, Samia Mentioned in this episode: Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products! Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Why Am I So Weird with Women?

In this episode, I ask myself why, oh whyyy, am I so weird with women? I love them, I've known I'm attracted to them both sexually and romantically since I was a kid, and yet I've only managed to have one relationship with a woman that only lasted six weeks in college and otherwise have been a massive failure in the lady-dating department. And I'm not alone. I've heard lots of bisexual girlies talking about how they don't even feel like they can claim the bisexual label because they almost exclusively date and sleep with men. Most of the bi women I know feel they aren't "bi enough." In this episode: * I’ve wanted women my whole life—and stayed silent * One intense, six-week relationship that blew me open…and shut me down * Why men feel “easier” (and what that says about me) * The part I hate admitting: I’m the one getting in my own way * Is this a me problem…or a bi girl problem? * And the twist I did NOT see coming Read the original essay on my Substack: https://samiamounts.substack.com/p/why-am-i-so-weird-with-women [https://samiamounts.substack.com/p/why-am-i-so-weird-with-women] Screen For Years to Come: https://james-patrick-nelson.com/for-years-to-come SUPPORT THE SHOW, CUTIE PATOOT! Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.com [https://samiamounts.substack.com] Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts [https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts] CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts [https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts] Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week. xoxo, Samia Mentioned in this episode: Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products! Use code CLOSETED at check-out. Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted