Navigating Life Transitions with Patricia Barbee

Ship the Art: Originality, Creative Fear & Showing Up in the Wild

Some conversations start one place and end up somewhere you didn't expect. This one started with a simple question — why are people afraid to be original? — and ended up somewhere much closer to home. About the fear of being seen. The exhaustion of putting something real into the world and waiting to find out if it lands. The quiet courage it takes to keep showing up anyway. Ben is a community builder, author, and one of those people who has spent years doing the work before anyone was watching. He's been showing up to the same community event every single Wednesday for 14 years. He wrote one book about entrepreneurship and connection, then spent three years writing every week until a second one — Brew Within — found its shape. He also ended up with 21 contributing authors, including Corey, whose words live on page 284. This conversation is for anyone who has something brewing inside them and hasn't shipped it yet. What we got into: Ben pushes back on the idea that people are afraid to be original — it's more that the environment changes everything. You can be fully yourself with your people. The wild is where it gets complicated. They talk about what it actually means to show up in community spaces without hiding, without performing, and without leading with "so what do you do?" There's a whole thread about the tension between creating and marketing — that shift from building something in the quiet to having to shout about it every day on LinkedIn. Ben is honest about how that wears on you. About checking pre-orders. About your closest people knowing your book exists and still not clicking the link — and what you do with that feeling. Corey shares what he noticed about Ben from the very first email. How collaboration showed up differently here than it usually does. And why he thinks a lot of people miss that piece when they're building something. They also get into writing as a mental health practice — not journaling in the private sense, but publishing your thinking over time until you have a library to pull from. A digitized version of yourself that can keep showing up even when you're not in the room. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, they land on the real thing: if your work never gets seen, it never gets to help anyone. That's not humility. That's selfishness. Ship the art. A moment worth finding: Ben's final words to the camera. About originality. About belonging. About what happens when you stop waiting for permission and just make the ruckus. About Ben: Author of Brew Within and a community-driven entrepreneur who has spent over a decade building genuine connection through consistency, creativity, and showing up in the wild. His work lives at the intersection of entrepreneurship, community, and the belief that generosity builds trust — and trust caffeinate everything you care about. Brew Within — https://pouroverpublishing.square.site/product/brewed-from-within-softcover/3A5KIYHRMGTZW7MCW5DYXLTH?cs=true&cst=custom Resources: These resources are for information only and may not replace professional medical advice. If you are in immediate danger, please contact your local emergency number. Crisis support (U.S.) 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call/text/chat 988) – Free, confidential support 24/7 for suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, substance use, or if you’re worried about someone else. 988lifeline.org NAMI HelpLine  Phone: 800‑950‑NAMI (6264) Text: “NAMI” to 62640 nami.org/help U.S. mental health information & treatment SAMHSA Mental Health  samhsa.gov/mental-health CDC Mental Health Resources  cdc.gov/mental-health Culturally responsive & identity‑affirming care Therapy for Black Men  therapyforblackmen.org Therapy for Black Girls  therapyforblackgirls.com Inclusive Therapists inclusivetherapists.com

Everything and Nothing: Rest, Identity, and Shadow Work with Vanessa McNeal

Rest isn’t laziness—it’s required for healing. In this episode, Corey Dion Lewis and Vanessa talk rest, burnout, high‑achiever anxiety, parts work, inner child healing, and learning you’re worthy beyond your roles or productivity. * Welcome to Coffee Can’t Fix Everything: mental health over a cup of coffee with host Corey Dion Lewis. * Meet Vanessa: speaker and MSW‑trained coach who works with high achievers on rest, regulation, and reclaiming their center. Rest, worth, and burnout * Why we were taught to “earn” rest by doing everything first—and how that mindset leads to exhaustion and burnout. * Rest as prerequisite, not prize: being in your center so you can pour into work, family, and community without self‑betrayal. * The difference between real rest and escape (phone scrolling, overworking, procrastination, numbing out). Identity beyond roles * Corey’s struggle with defining himself as “Corey the father, podcaster, community advocate” and how that fuels burnout. * Vanessa’s first step: list every role you identify with, then recognize none of them are your core identity. * Remembering yourself as a multi‑dimensional being instead of a fixed job title or label. Parts work and inner child * “Characters” vs parts: why you feel different in every room and how internal family systems (IFS) explains it. * The five‑year‑old, 25‑year‑old, and “last‑year you” that still live inside you—and why none of them need to be deleted. * Letting your most aligned, present‑day self “drive the bus” while still honoring younger parts that once protected you. Parenting and breaking cycles * How Vanessa and her husband intentionally “program” their kids with safety, permission to make mistakes, and unconditional love. * The nightly affirmation: “I love you for who you are, not what you do,” and how our voice becomes our children’s inner voice. * Corey on raising teens with calm, safety, and openness so his kids know they can always come to Dad, even when they mess up. Failure, crumbling, and new meaning * When jobs, money, and opportunities fall apart, and how those “crumblings” uncover what can’t be taken from you. * Seeing painful seasons as material for awakening to your inherent worth instead of proof that you’re a failure. * “Everything is neutral until given meaning”: going back to old memories, feeling the pain, and choosing a new, truer story. Shadow work and sitting in the tension * Why sitting with your thoughts for 10 minutes can feel like an hour—and why we grab our phones to avoid it. * The difference between wallowing in pain and actually digesting, processing, and integrating it. * How doing this work lets you help others from a place of truth instead of performance or people‑pleasing. Vanessa’s world now * Living unapologetically expressed: saying what she wants to say, when she wants to say it, without needing to play a role. * A weekly “rest day”: barefoot in nature, blanket by a tree, breathing and remembering she’s part of the world, not just grinding in it. * Centering motherhood, marriage, service, and self‑care so her cup is full enough to pour into others. Closing * Vanessa’s final message to the listener who needed this conversation today: you already know the one thing you need to do—trust what’s showing up and stop overthinking it. * Corey closes with the mission of Coffee Can’t Fix Everything: the more we talk about mental health, the more normal these conversations become Crisis support (U.S.) These resources are for information only and may not replace professional medical advice. If you are in immediate danger, please contact your local emergency number. * 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call/text/chat 988) – Free, confidential support 24/7 for suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, substance use, or if you’re worried about someone else. Website: 988lifeline.org [https://988lifeline.org/] * NAMI HelpLine – Information, resource referrals, and peer support for individuals, families, and caregivers. Available Monday–Friday, 10 a.m.–10 p.m. ET. * Phone: 800‑950‑NAMI (6264) * Text: “NAMI” to 62640 * Website: nami.org/help [https://www.nami.org/nami-helpline/] U.S. mental health information & treatment * SAMHSA Mental Health – Education on mental health, plus links to treatment locators for substance use and behavioral health. Website: samhsa.gov/mental-health [https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health] * CDC Mental Health Resources – Overview of hotlines, treatment locators, and basic‑needs support (housing, food, etc.). Website: cdc.gov/mental-health [https://www.cdc.gov/mental-health/caring/index.html] Culturally responsive & identity‑affirming care * Therapy for Black Men – Therapist directory and support specifically for Black men, focused on judgment‑free, culturally competent care. Website: therapyforblackmen.org [https://therapyforblackmen.org/] * Therapy for Black Girls – Directory of Black women therapists, plus a podcast, blog, and community for Black women and girls. Website: therapyforblackgirls.com [https://therapyforblackgirls.com/] * Inclusive Therapists – Therapist directory centering marginalized identities, with filters for race/ethnicity, gender identity, faith, neurodivergence, sliding‑scale fees, and virtual care. Website: inclusivetherapists.com [https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/]

Healing-Centered Engagement, Generational Trauma, and the Power of “How Are You?” with Christine Her of ArtForce Iowa

In this episode of Coffee Can’t Fix Everything, Corey sits down with Christine Her, Executive Director of ArtForce Iowa, for a raw conversation about mental health, healing-centered engagement, and what happens when we ask “How are you?” and actually mean it. Christine shares her story as a Hmong American daughter of refugee parents, navigating generational trauma, cultural expectations, and the pressure to “be successful” while knowing art was the one thing that kept her alive. She explains how ArtForce Iowa uses creativity and community to create spaces where young people—especially those from marginalized backgrounds—can see themselves, tell their stories, and transform through art instead of being “fixed” by systems. Corey and Christine talk about the loneliness epidemic, why community care is essential for mental health, and how healing-centered engagement moves beyond trauma-informed care by focusing on identity, hope, and collective healing. They dig into breaking stereotypes about Black men and vulnerability, what it looks like to normalize “I love you” between friends, and why you shouldn’t ask “How are you?” if you’re not ready to hold the truth. If you’ve ever struggled with shame, family wounds, or the fear of being “too much,” this episode is a gentle invitation to stop saying no to yourself, build community, and meet yourself more deeply. Corey is not a therapist; this podcast is for storytelling and stigma-breaking, not medical advice. If you need support, please check the mental health resources linked in the show notes. * About today’s guest: Christine Her (Executive Director, ArtForce Iowa) * What is ArtForce Iowa and how art becomes a space for youth to be seen, held, and heard. * Moving from “transforming youth in need” to “creating opportunities for youth to transform through art” (dropping the savior complex). * The “How are you?” PSA during COVID and what it taught Christine about connection, fear, and youth mental health. * Breaking stereotypes about Black men, strength, and silence around therapy. * Healing-centered engagement vs. trauma-informed care: focusing on identity, hope, and community-based healing. * Generational trauma, refugee parents, and learning that “they didn’t know how to love me the way I needed.” * Shame, “pitching a tent but not building a house,” and learning not to live where you feel like you’re the worst version of yourself. * The powerful reminder: “Don’t say no to yourself—let someone else tell you no.” Links mentioned * ArtForce Iowa: https://artforceiowa.org * Healing-Centered Engagement (Shawn Ginwright overview): https://www.boardingschoolhealing.org/resource-database/the-future-of-healing-shifting-from-trauma-informed-care-to-healing-centered Mental health resources (with links) https://www.iowahealthieststate.com/back-the-black * 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988 or chat via 988lifeline.org for free, confidential support 24/7 if you or someone you know is in emotional distress, suicidal crisis, or experiencing a mental health or substance use crisis. * Info: https://www.samhsa.gov/mental-health/988 * Info: https://www.nami.org/advocacy-at-nami/crisis-intervention/988-reimagining-crisis-response * Mental Health America – Screening tools, educational resources, and links to local support and immediate help. * Resources for immediate response: https://mhanational.org/resources/resources-for-immediate-response/ * National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) – Education, support groups, and help finding local services for individuals and families. * Find support and crisis resources via NAMI: https://www.nami.org * SAMHSA National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357), a free, confidential, 24/7 treatment referral and information service for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders in the U.S. * https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline * Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the U.S. to connect with a trained crisis counselor, free and available 24/7. * https://www.crisistextline.org * Find a therapist (U.S.) – You can search for licensed mental health professionals by location, insurance, and specialty. * Psychology Today therapist directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Navigating Life Transitions with Patricia Barbee

Support the show Help sustain independent mental health conversations https://buymeacoffee.com/coreydionlewis [https://buymeacoffee.com/coreydionlewis] Stay connected Sign up for the Healthy Project Media newsletter for new episodes and resources www.healthyprojectmedia.com [http://www.healthyprojectmedia.com] In this powerful episode, host Corey Dion Lewis sits down with Patricia  Barbee (Patty), Executive Director of Project Bridging and educator, for an honest conversation about navigating life's transitions. From morning routines to major life changes, Patty shares her wisdom on helping youth and adults alike move through difficult transitions with grace and intention. They discuss the importance of mentorship, positive reinforcement, love languages, and why sometimes you just need to "be positive or be quiet." KEY TOPICS: • Understanding transition in childhood and adulthood • The power of mentorship and community • Love languages beyond romantic relationships • Positive consequences and reinforcement • Getting out of your own way • Why asking questions matters • Building routines that support growth ABOUT THE GUEST: Patricia Adrienne Barbee is an educator and the Executive Director of Project Bridging, a program focused on middle school students during their critical transition years. With over 20 years in early childhood education, Patty is passionate about advocating for children and helping them navigate life's changes. MEMORABLE QUOTES: "Be positive or be quiet." "If you care, you will learn." "Give yourself time to adjust to things." "You're worth it. Get you some help and get you some people who love you." RESOURCES: Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/coreydionlewis Newsletter: www.healthyprojectmedia.com Coffee Can't Fix Everything is a mental health podcast that breaks stigma through authentic conversation. If you or someone you know needs help, please reach out to a mental health professional. CHAPTER MARKERS: 00:00 - Introduction & Welcome 00:09 - Meet Patricia Barbee: Educator & Advocate 01:39 - The Shoe Game & Personal Style 02:34 - Corey's Journey: Turning 42 & Transitions 03:30 - What Makes Transition So Hard? 04:40 - Learning from Early Childhood: Daily Transitions 05:55 - The Role of Mentorship in Transition 06:36 - Middle School: The Lost Land 08:00 - Love Languages & How We Receive Care 09:45 - Asking the Right Questions 11:27 - "Be Positive or Be Quiet" 12:41 - Fighting Through the Quicksand 14:53 - From Wasting Time to Investing in Yourself 16:41 - It's Okay to Say "This Isn't For Me" 18:04 - Consequences: Positive & Negative 19:52 - Believing in Yourself More Than Outside Voices 20:52 - Patty's Personal Transitions: Loss & Healing 22:00 - The Power of Positive Reinforcement 23:03 - Every Day is a Fresh Start 25:42 - Morning Routines & Self-Care 27:38 - Building Your Village 29:04 - Learning to Be Yourself 30:47 - Not a Morning Person: Embracing Your Process 32:26 - Final Advice: Give Yourself Time 34:11 - Closing Thoughts: You're Worth It Mental health resources * https://www.iowahealthieststate.com/back-the-black * Call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (24/7, free, confidential)  https://988lifeline.org [https://988lifeline.org] * National Alliance on Mental Illness (education and support)  https://www.nami.org [https://www.nami.org] * Mental Health America screening tools and resources  https://www.mhanational.org [https://www.mhanational.org] * Therapy for Black Men directory  https://therapyforblackmen.org [https://therapyforblackmen.org] * Find a therapist near you  https://www.psychologytoday.com [https://www.psychologytoday.com]

I Didn’t Feel Seen Until I Started Podcasting (with Emili Johnson)

In this episode, I’m joined by Emili Johnson, creator of the Black Girl Iowa podcast. Emili shares how starting a podcast became a powerful act of self-love and resistance. We talk about finding your voice when you’ve spent years feeling invisible, navigating mental health as a Black woman in Iowa, and the unexpected burnout that comes with podcasting solo. Emili opens up about her journey with anxiety, depression, and PMDD—and how therapy, journaling, and storytelling helped her reclaim her peace. If you’ve ever questioned your voice, felt unseen, or wondered if your story matters, this episode is for you. Topics covered: • Mental health and healing • Podcasting without a team • DEI rollbacks in Iowa • Black women’s voices and validation • Journaling as self-care • Building creative confidence 👉 Stay connected and find mental health resources in the show notes. If You Need Immediate Support Text or Call: In the U.S., you can reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. Online Support: Many organizations offer chat support, such as the Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741). Support the show - https://buymeacoffee.com/coreydionlewis