106. Why Identity Matters

109. HYPERFOCUS BONUS: Never gonna resolve musical differences

Most great works of art defy simple interpretation. Some pieces are so complex and so deeply rousing that two people (who are otherwise very much alike in temperament and tastes) can walk away from the same composition with very different interpretations. Such is the case with the timeless blue-eyed soul standard Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley. Marcus and Esme discuss their specific point of contention and ask for the listeners' help to resolve the dispute. Also, a family of birds has taken up residence in a planter on the O’Kayvious’ front porch, which has had some surprising impacts on each of the human members of the household. Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Support us on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887 [https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887]  Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDo]

108. Object Permanence and the Neurodivergent “Identity”

Do neurodivergent people really struggle with object permanence? Generally speaking, no. Babies and dogs may struggle to understand that something still exists even if they can’t see it anymore (which explains the rush babies get playing peek-a-boo). However, most older children and adults – regardless of neurotype – tend to understand that mommy has not exited this earthly plain just because she threw a blanket over her head.  That being said, Marcus and Esme think there is one very specific area of neurodivergent peoples’ lives where they might struggle with something similar to object permanence. Specifically, if neurodivergent people: * Acknowledge they live in a world that was built for neurotypical people . . . * And respond to these structural inequities by focusing on improving their “flaws” and “defects” ONLY . . . * Then they are denying the existence of all the ways in which systems are structured against them. This is a natural reaction for neurodivergent people. After all, they’re raised to believe that being neurodivergent is a condition, and as such they must be “fixed” to be successful in school and at the office. But what if neurodivergence isn’t a condition? What if being neurodivergent just meant a person was different?  In other words, what if neurodivergence was an identity? That’s the question Marcus and Esme explore in this episode: what would it mean if we thought of neurodivergence as an identity, and how might that change the way we think not only of our developmental needs, but of the systems and structures that weren’t built with us in mind?   Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Sources for this episode include: * Issitt, Micah. “Object Permanence.” EBSCO Research Starters: Psychology, EBSCO Information Services, 2022, https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/psychology/object-permanence [https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/psychology/object-permanence].  * Guy-Evans, Olivia. “Object Permanence & ADHD: ‘Out of Sight, Out of Mind’.” Simply Psychology, 20 May 2025, https://www.simplypsychology.org/object-permanence-and-adhd.html [https://www.simplypsychology.org/object-permanence-and-adhd.html].  * Robison, John Elder. “Neurodiversity Is an Identity, Not a Disorder.” Psychology Today, 14 Jan. 2024, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/my-life-with-aspergers/202401/neurodiversity-is-an-identity-not-a-disorder [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/my-life-with-aspergers/202401/neurodiversity-is-an-identity-not-a-disorder].  Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDohttps://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp]

107. HYPERFOCUS BONUS: A flower with mature themes and a national treasure

All Esme wanted to do was pay homage to one of her favorite flowers. Unfortunately, Marcus had to go and ruin it with some inappropriate giggling just because the name of the flower sounds a little bit like a certain defining aspect of the male anatomy. It was childish and disrespectful and Marcus apologized profusely for it . . . every time Esme mentioned the flower’s name. Marcus then took a moment to celebrate the 84th birthday of legendary singer/songwriter Taj Mahal. Esme demonstrated far more patience and maturity than Marcus was capable of during her segment, even when he said words like “pianist” and “Ry Cooder.”  Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Support us on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887 [https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887]  Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDo]

106. Why Identity Matters

Have you ever felt like you’ve changed so much you barely recognize yourself? If so, you might be experiencing an identity crisis. Identity crises are pretty common, but they might be an indicator that you could benefit from some professional medical assistance. In this episode, Marcus and Esme discuss the concept of identity and why having a strong, continuous sense of identity is important to our mental health and well-being. They share their own experiences navigating identity crises and the types of interventions they found most helpful (hint: it rhymes with “sherapy”). They also identify additional activities people can try if they feel like they are losing (or have lost) their sense of identity. Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Sources for this episode include: * “Identity.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/identity [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/identity].  * Korfmacher, Carsten. “Personal Identity.” Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy, https://iep.utm.edu/person-i/ [https://iep.utm.edu/person-i/]  * Olson, Eric T. “Personal Identity.” Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, edited by Edward N. Zalta, 20 Aug. 2002, substantive revision 30 June 2023, https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/identity-personal [https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/identity-personal].  Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDohttps://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp]

CT 105 - HYPERFOCUS BONUS: I might have mentioned them in therapy, but . . .

In honor of Mother’s Day and his dad’s birthday, Marcus shares some fond remembrances of his parents. It’s an important reminder that we all end up talking about the people we love in therapy. It’s only natural, because they’re usually the ones who have made the biggest impacts on our lives. Life is complicated that way. But, if we’re lucky, we also have a lot of uncomplicated memories of those people that make us smile and remind us how fortunate we are to have had them in our lives. Marcus also takes a moment to reassure his audience that he and his daughter will be doing their part to make sure Esme has a very special Mother’s Day. She’s really freaking good at being a mom, so they’re happy to do it. He also pushes back on those fathers who opt out of the big day by saying, “She’s not my mother.” Maybe so, but if you’re in a relationship with your kids’ mother, or if your kids are too young to handle things themselves, you might consider doing something nice for her anyway. Chances are, she deserves it. So, get off the couch, Gerald! Visit our website: crazytogetherpod.com [http://crazytogetherpod.com] Support us on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887 [https://ko-fi.com/C0C216B887]  Contact us: https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact [https://www.crazytogetherpod.com/contact] Our theme music * Midnight—Declan DP [Audio Library Release] Music provided by Audio Library Plus Watch:    • Midnight — Declan DP | Free Backgroun... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM4k2HNgnDo&t=0s]  Free Download / Stream: https://alplus.io/midnight-declan-dp [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGZ0T2g0LVBjZkxERXFYbElNNDFSUktIdFJzUXxBQ3Jtc0tuT08zVW90bVJuYW1VcWJlUlZlRlVESkpCNGhrellrbEwyeEFrbUZVbUJ3Z2hFUkFTdEFVci1uMjdPbXhCcUVXV2RXalRwYzRtTnBCdWtKUnY2T0YtVkpndnB4TlJLWU5sUTRudkU3TWZDckdyX2NzZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Falplus.io%2Fmidnight-declan-dp&v=eM4k2HNgnDo]