Gemma Cappoci on Matrescence, Mum Rage & Why Lowering Expectations in Motherhood Is Freedom

Shakira Akabusi: “Women of Colour Are Conditioned to Just Take It” & Why Mothers Are Society’s Shock Absorbers?!

*TW* THIS PODCAST DOES CONTAIN STORIES OF BIRTH TRAUMA. What is the experience of birth like for black women in the uk? Founder of Strong Like Mum and postnatal fitness specialist Shakira Akabusi joins Delivering Better to share her experience of anxiety and OCD during pregnancy and postpartum.From feeling like she had to “save herself” to the reality of life after a c-section - and her experience as a Black woman navigating the NHS - Shakira opens up about maternal mental health, recovery, and the gaps in care. She also shares the tools that helped her heal, and how her journey inspired her to support other women through fitness and nutritionJoin the campaign and sign our open letter here: https://deliveringbetter.org/ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deliveringbetter/ Follow us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@deliveringbetter00:00 - Welcome and introducing Shakira Akabusi00:07 - When Shakira realised she had to save herself00:17 - Why support changes outcomes for mothers00:18 - Body, mind and feeling empowered in birth00:20 - Shakira on caesarean recovery and feeling like an alien00:24 - Why women aren’t prepared for postpartum reality00:28 - What compassionate postnatal care should look like00:30 - The “laughable” 6 to 8 week GP check00:31 - Stitches, infection and being dismissed00:35 - A better idea: postnatal check-ins at 3 and 6 months00:37 - The isolation of 6 to 8 months postpartum00:38 - Sleep deprivation, shame and motherhood00:44 - Strong Like Mum and supporting women’s recovery00:48 - The Beauty Spot: why vulnerability became strength

Gemma Cappoci on Matrescence, Mum Rage & Why Lowering Expectations in Motherhood Is Freedom

*TW* THIS EPISODE CONTAINS DISCUSSION OF BIRTH TRAUMA. What is matrescence and what does it have to do with birth? In this episode of Delivering Better, hosts Jo, Sarah and Sophie are joined by psychotherapist and mum of three, Gemma Cappoci. Together, they unpack matrescence - the profound physical, emotional, and identity shift that comes with becoming a mother- and why so many women feel unprepared for it. From postpartum struggles, “mum rage”, performing motherhood and the lack of societal support, this conversation shines a light on the realities that so often go unspoken. 00:00 Welcome and introducing Gemma Cappoci 00:00 What does a psychotherapist do in the perinatal period? 00:01 What is matrescence? 00:03 Why no one prepares women for becoming a mother 00:07 Therapy, identity shifts and the emotional impact of motherhood 00:11 Motherly Love and the power of honest spaces for mums 00:14 Why motherhood support groups are life-saving 00:15 Why talking honestly about motherhood is political 00:17 Why support for mothers is still treated as a “nice to have” 00:20 Why society still doesn’t care enough about mums 00:22 If the mother isn’t well, nobody is well 00:23 Why maternity is treated as a single event 00:24 The pressure to perform happiness after birth 00:27 The masks mothers wear 00:30 Post-birth plans, villages and what support really looks like 00:36 Mum rage: what it is and why it happens 00:39 Shame, guilt and nervous system overload 00:42 What to do after you lose your shit 00:45 The signals you’re reaching breaking point 00:51 Permission, low standards and survival mode 00:58 There is no “right” way to mother 01:01 The Beauty Spot: healing through helping other mothers

Megan Rossiter on Birth Power, Trusting Women & How Maternity Care Lost Its Way

How did birth become something done to women, instead of centred around them? Birth educator Meghan Rossiter joins us to talk about power, patriarchy, trust and why maternity care still isn’t built around birthing people. *TW* THIS PODCAST DOES CONTAIN STORIES OF BIRTH TRAUMA. Join the campaign and sign our open letter here: https://deliveringbetter.org/ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deliveringbetter/ Follow us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@deliveringbetter00:00 Welcome and introducing Megan Rossiter00:00 How Birth Ed began00:01 Birth Power and reclaiming autonomy00:03 How did maternity care lose its way?00:04 How birth became medicalised00:05 The history of harm in maternity care00:08 How women are shaped before they enter the system00:11 Twilight sleep and the loss of birth wisdom00:13 What women are missing from birth education00:16 Birth as power, autonomy and understanding00:18 Why support matters wherever you give birth00:21 Why continuity of care saves money and improves outcomes00:24 What antenatal appointments don’t give women00:27 Why maternity care is still designed around the system00:30 Why government still doesn’t treat this as a priority00:37 Talking about birth on social media without feeding fear00:40 Different campaigners, shared goals00:44 Why “everybody is born” should settle the argument00:49 The Beauty Spot: women need to be trusted in birth

2 Illiyin Morrison on the 3★ Birth Experience, Fact vs Feeling & Cultural Competence in Care

What happens when birth trauma is minimised - or never properly heard at all? Perinatal trauma specialist Illiyin Morrison joins us to talk about debriefing birth, agency, racism in maternity care and what real support looks like. TW* THIS PODCAST DOES CONTAIN STORIES OF BIRTH TRAUMA. Join the campaign and sign our open letter here: https://deliveringbetter.org/ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deliveringbetter/ Follow us on TIktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@deliveringbetter?_r=1&_t=ZN-95igNrJuYvm 00:00 Welcome and introducing Illiyin Morrison 00:02 Why Illiyin stepped away from midwifery 00:03 Pregnancy, home birth plans and consultant dismissal 00:05 From planned home birth to emergency caesarean 00:06 The moment Illiyin knew she had to leave midwifery 00:10 How birth debriefing became her work 00:11 What a trauma-informed birth debrief actually looks like 00:13 Why clinical notes don’t tell the whole story 00:15 Why women need their own words for birth 00:17 Hospital reflections, trust and being retraumatised 00:20 Why many debriefs stop too early 00:21 Are birth reflections protecting women — or the system? 00:24 Why positive births can feel hard to talk about too 00:26 Home birth after caesarean and making informed choices 00:32 “You birth well when you have agency” 00:35 Home birth stereotypes and misunderstanding women’s choices 00:37 Black women’s experiences in maternity care 00:39 Why better care for Black women improves care for everyone 00:40 The systemic roots of racial inequality in maternity care 00:44 Why maternity care can’t be fixed in isolation 00:47 Maternity, matriarchy and building a better future 00:49 The Beauty Spot: legacy, motherhood and impact

Motherhood Radicalised Us: Sarah, Sophie & Jo on Birth Silence and Trauma

Welcome to Delivering Better - a podcast hosted by Sarah, Jo and Sophie, campaigning for safer, evidence-based and compassionate maternity care in the UK. In this first episode, they share their own birth stories and the experiences that led them to start the Delivering Better campaign. From birth trauma and postnatal mental health to the silence surrounding maternity care, they explore WHY so many women feel unheard - and what needs to change. *TW* This episode contains stories of Birth Trauma. Join the campaign and sign our open letter here: https://deliveringbetter.org/ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deliveringbetter/ Follow us on TIktok: 00:00 - Welcome To Delivering Better00:01 - Meet the founders: Sarah, Sophie and Jo00:03 - Jo’s story and the start of Delivering Better00:08 - Sophie on birth, postnatal isolation and mental health00:13 - Why mums are overlooked in society and politics00:16 - The long-term impact of poor maternity care00:18 - How birth experiences shape motherhood00:24 - Why honest antenatal education matters00:27- What women should be told before birth00:29 - PTSD, flashbacks and trauma after birth00:32 - Why maternity care is still treated as “niche”00:34 - The Beauty Spot00:41 - Sophie’s home birth and what good care looks like