The Dance Between Grief, Capacity, Expectations & Perspective (with a Psychotherapist…Who's Also My Mom)

Intentionality: The Skill That Changes Everything

You know what you want to do. You've done the research, made the plan, and set the intention. And then life happens, and somehow you end up somewhere you didn't choose. This isn't a discipline problem. There isn't something WRONG with you. There's a gap in intentionality...and intentionality is a skill, which means it can be built. In this episode, I'm getting into what intentionality actually is, how it works in your brain, and how to practice it in the real, messy, unpredictable circumstances of your actual life. Not the life where everything goes according to plan. What this episode covers: * Why knowing what to do is never enough, and what the real gap actually is * The difference between intent, intention, and intentionality (they're not the same thing) * Intentionality as a skill of presence and mindfulness, and what that actually means in practice * Intentionality as initiative: how to play offense before you're already in the reaction * The neurobiology of why your behavior gets less intentional when life gets harder (it's not weakness, it's your brain doing exactly what brains do) * How intentionality connects to identity and the story you're building about yourself * Why intentionality is not a set of rules, and how the same action can be aligned or misaligned depending on the context * How to actually build this skill: 5 practical tools you can start using this week Real stories in this episode: A client planning a vacation around connection and fun, who built a proactive approach that let her enjoy every part of the trip and come home feeling good. A client navigating one of the hardest seasons of her life, with a sick parent, a family to care for, and herself in the middle of it, who is doing the work of intentional self-care even when the pull to say screw it is loud. And my own experience with intentionality during pregnancy, where the daily choices feel more loaded than ever and every single one is an opportunity to practice being the person I want to be. This week's reflection questions: Take 10 minutes at the end of the week and write these out. Not in your head. On paper (or your notes app). Writing slows you down and tells you the truth. 1. Where did I act on autopilot this week, and how did I feel afterward? 2. Where did I make a conscious, intentional choice, and how did I feel afterward? 3. What's one area where the gap between what I believe and what I do is widest right now? 4. What would a single proactive step look like, before the next hard moment, to narrow that gap? If this episode hit something real for you, The Self Sabotage Solution is where we do this work together. It's the program I built for people who are already doing the things, but still getting in their own way. We go deep on the mindset, the behavior patterns, the values alignment, and the tools that actually make it stick. Enrollment is open. Get in here: https://go.wickedironstrength.com/self-sabotage-solution-enroll [https://go.wickedironstrength.com/self-sabotage-solution-enroll] Let's Connect: ⁠www.wickedironstrength.com⁠ [http://www.wickedironstrength.com] Email: ⁠meryl@wickedironstrength.com⁠ [meryl@wickedironstrength.com] Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/merylcbc⁠ [http://www.instagram.com/merylcbc] & ⁠www.instagram.com/wickedironstrength⁠ [http://www.instagram.com/wickedironstrength]

Pulling Back the Curtain on My Personal Journey

My husband (Josh) and I just got back from my first real vacation in over 6 years- a week in San Francisco and the surrounding area. Almost 50 miles walked, Muir Woods, Sausalito, Big Sur, Carmel, and probably more pastries than I'd eaten all year. I'm 23 weeks pregnant, up almost 20 pounds this year, and somehow in the best relationship with my body and mind I've ever had. No guilt. No shame. No "I'll fix it Monday." That's what this episode is really about. I get personal in this one. I pull back the curtain on the stuff you may not know about me: the years of restriction, the secret bingeing, the chasing lean at any cost, and how I dug my way out. If you've ever looked at someone in this space and assumed they've got it all figured out, this is the other side of that story. In this episode: * A small trip recap * Eating all the pastries with intention instead of a "last hurrah" * Gaining almost 20 pounds this year and appreciating & trusting my body more than ever * Secret candy bags as a kid and Hydroxycut as a teenager * Not eating a lot and doing cardio, hungover in college, and wondering why nothing changed * The dozen bagels I bought for the office and ate at my desk * The Paleo cult years: half an apple, almond-flour rules, and still demonizing food * Getting the leanest I'd ever been, losing my period, and being completely miserable * The move to Hungary that forced me to slow down and face myself * Hiring my own coach, what I was scared of, and what actually changed * Why I coach the way I do now: regulation, nervous system, emotions, and functional health If any of this hit home, I'd love to hear from you. Send me your questions, tell me what landed, or reach out if you're ready for support in building a different relationship with your body and yourself. And if this episode would help someone you love, send it their way. New here? Follow the Do Cool Shit Podcast so you don't miss what's next. Let's keep doing cool shit. Let's Connect: ⁠www.wickedironstrength.com⁠ [http://www.wickedironstrength.com] Email: ⁠meryl@wickedironstrength.com⁠ [meryl@wickedironstrength.com] Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/merylcbc⁠ [http://www.instagram.com/merylcbc] & ⁠www.instagram.com/wickedironstrength⁠ [http://www.instagram.com/wickedironstrength] Email list: ⁠https://go.wickedironstrength.com/newsletter⁠ [https://go.wickedironstrength.com/newsletter] Join The Self Sabotage Solution, a 12-week group cohort that does the work to get you into a place of confidence, self-trust, and no longer self-sabotaging: https://go.wickedironstrength.com/self-sabotage-solution-817269 [https://go.wickedironstrength.com/self-sabotage-solution-817269]

The Key to Happiness

Everyone says they just want to be happy… but why does it feel like something you’re constantly chasing—and never quite reaching? In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the biggest mindset shifts I’ve ever had around happiness. A few years ago, a mentor asked me a simple question: “Are you happy?” My answer, and what came after, completely changed how I view happiness, growth, and how I support my clients. If you’ve ever felt like: * “I should feel happier than I do” * “Why doesn’t this feel like enough?” * Or like happiness is waiting on the other side of a goal… This episode is for you. We’re unpacking: * Why happiness is NOT a destination or permanent state * The trap of attaching happiness to weight, appearance, money, or achievements * How you can feel discomfort (frustration, sadness, challenge) and still be happy * The powerful reframe: discomfort isn’t the opposite of happiness—it’s often part of it * What to ask yourself instead of “Am I happy?” This is your reminder that happiness isn’t something you unlock at the end… it’s something you experience through how you live right now. Key Takeaways: * Happiness is being engaged in a meaningful pursuit, not arriving at an outcome * Achievements create moments of happiness, not permanent fulfillment * You can feel multiple emotions at once (including happiness and discomfort) * Growth, purpose, and alignment are where happiness actually lives * You might already have happiness—you’re just expecting it to feel different Reflection Questions: * What am I actually chasing right now? * What do I believe happiness is supposed to feel like? * Am I overlooking happiness because it doesn’t match my expectations? * Am I engaged in something meaningful to me? Action Step: This week, shift the question. Instead of asking “Am I happy?” ask: * “Am I showing up in a way I’m proud of?” * “Am I growing when I'm feeling uncomfortable?” That’s where happiness lives. Let's Connect ⁠www.wickedironstrength.com⁠ [http://www.wickedironstrength.com] Email: ⁠meryl@wickedironstrength.com⁠ [meryl@wickedironstrength.com] Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/merylcbc⁠ [http://www.instagram.com/merylcbc] & ⁠www.instagram.com/wickedironstrength⁠ [http://www.instagram.com/wickedironstrength] Email list: ⁠https://go.wickedironstrength.com/newsletter⁠ [https://go.wickedironstrength.com/newsletter]

Redefining Strength w/ Curtis Miller

In this episode of the Do Cool Shit Podcast, Meryl sits down with strength coach, business owner, and former competitive powerlifter Curtis Miller for a conversation that goes far beyond the barbell. Curt shares his philosophy on “redefining the bond between athletes and strength”—and why true strength isn’t built on competition day, but in the persistence, discipline, and identity you build along the way. Together, we dive into: * Why the process > the outcome (and how this mindset creates long-term success) * The difference between chasing big goals vs. focusing on incremental progress * Lessons from 12+ years of powerlifting (including injuries, setbacks, and evolution) * How training builds confidence, resilience, and self-trust that carries into life * The truth about failure—and why it’s not what you think * What a lot of people get wrong about nutrition and performance, * Why honesty (especially with yourself) is the foundation for progress * The role of coaching, connection, and trust in real transformation * How one bold decision can completely change the trajectory of your life Curt also shares: * The mindset shift that helped him transition out of competition * What it actually takes to build strength at a high level * His perspective on doing hard things—even when you don’t feel like it This episode is for you if: * You’re tired of chasing outcomes and want to enjoy the process * You struggle with all-or-nothing thinking in fitness or life * You want to build confidence through action—not perfection * You know what to do… but aren’t consistently doing it * You’re ready to challenge your perspective on failure, progress, and growth Real strength isn’t just what you lift—it’s who you become in the process. Connect with Curtis: https://www.instagram.com/curt_ironboundstrength/ [https://www.instagram.com/curt_ironboundstrength/] Connect with Meryl: ⁠www.wickedironstrength.com⁠ [http://www.wickedironstrength.com] Email: ⁠meryl@wickedironstrength.com⁠ [meryl@wickedironstrength.com] Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/merylcbc⁠ [http://www.instagram.com/merylcbc] & ⁠www.instagram.com/wickedironstrength⁠ [http://www.instagram.com/wickedironstrength] Email list: ⁠https://go.wickedironstrength.com/newsletter⁠ [https://go.wickedironstrength.com/newsletter]

The Dance Between Grief, Capacity, Expectations & Perspective (with a Psychotherapist…Who's Also My Mom)

In today’s episode, I’m joined by someone incredibly special—my mom, Marcia Binder, a psychotherapist who has deeply influenced how I understand people, behavior, and what it actually means to take care of yourself. She's been on before, but this one is a little different. There’s no rigid structure—just a real, layered discussion around something every single person experiences… but not everyone knows how to navigate. We explore the dance between: * Perspective * Grief * Capacity * Expectations …and how these directly impact your decisions, stress levels, behaviors, and your ability to follow through (especially during challenging seasons of life). Most people don’t struggle because they don’t know what to do. They struggle because of what’s happening underneath their behaviors. We cover: * Why the gap between knowing and doing isn’t a discipline problem * How misaligned expectations quietly lead to self-doubt and inconsistency * The difference between capacity as a limit vs. capacity as something you can build * Why grief shows up in more ways than you think (not just death) * How fear of disappointment can drive avoidance and self-sabotage * The role of your nervous system + stress state in your daily decisions * Why slowing down is the hardest—and most important—thing you can do * The difference between reaction vs. response (and how to shift into response) * How to create clarity and direction when life feels chaotic * Why small wins + self-recognition are essential for building self-trust If something in this episode hit home for you, share it with someone who needs it. And if there’s a topic you want us to explore in future episodes—send me a message or email. We may make these conversations a regular thing 👀 Let's Connect: ⁠www.wickedironstrength.com⁠ [http://www.wickedironstrength.com] Email: ⁠meryl@wickedironstrength.com⁠ [meryl@wickedironstrength.com] Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/merylcbc⁠ [http://www.instagram.com/merylcbc] & ⁠www.instagram.com/wickedironstrength⁠ [http://www.instagram.com/wickedironstrength] Email list: ⁠https://go.wickedironstrength.com/newsletter⁠ [https://go.wickedironstrength.com/newsletter]