Evolutionary Men

Shadow Work for When You Can’t Say What You Feel (with Luke Adler)

In this episode I’m joined by Dr. Luke Adler, my co-facilitator in the Heart of Shadow program, to dive into shadow work for one of the most common struggles I see in men: knowing what you feel but not being able to say it. That chasm between awareness and expression, between what’s happening inside and actually moving sound through your body and into a conversation. We break down why so many of us freeze when it matters most and what’s actually underneath that freeze. We explore the origin stories of why our nervous systems learned to lock things up in the first place, the difference between vulnerability and transparency, and why a men’s group is often the only place where you can finally practice bringing yourself forward in a way that actually sticks. If you’ve ever had words stuck in your throat with a partner, struggled to have a hard conversation, or just felt like something is blocked between what you know and what you can say, this one’s for you. Join the next Heart of Shadow cohort at https://heartofshadow.com [https://feeds.evolutionary.men/~/t/0/0/evolutionarymenpodcast/~https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow] [https://feeds.evolutionary.men/~/i/933897395/0/evolutionarymenpodcast] Click the icon below to listen.[https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/podplay.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/-/933897392/0/evolutionarymenpodcast.mp3 [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/fblike20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/28/933897395/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/pinterest20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/29/933897395/EvolutionaryMenPodcast,https%3a%2f%2fevolutionary.men%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2025%2f12%2fe138.jpeg [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/x.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/24/933897395/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/email20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/19/933897395/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/rss20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/20/933897395/EvolutionaryMenPodcast

Shadow Work for Better Sex (with Luke Adler)

In this episode I’m joined by Dr. Luke Adler to explore how shadow work can transform your sex life. We dig into why so many men use ejaculation as their primary emotional release tool and what happens when sex becomes responsible for making us feel better. We unpack the connection between safety, relaxation, and arousal, and why performance anxiety often stems from deeper places we don’t want to look at. We also explore what shifts when sex becomes an expression of connection rather than a destination to escape to. If you’ve ever wondered why “better sex” isn’t about technique, this one’s for you. Shadow work creates the capacity to feel more, stay present, and stop using sex to discharge what we haven’t learned to process. When we release our partners from the burden of managing our emotional lives, something opens up. And when we have a group of men to hold our vulnerability, we stop needing our intimate relationships to do all that work. The path to better sex runs through your gut, your heart, and the shadows you’ve been avoiding. Join the next Heart of Shadow Men’s Group and Retreat [https://feeds.evolutionary.men/~/t/0/0/evolutionarymenpodcast/~https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow] [https://feeds.evolutionary.men/~/i/931450895/0/evolutionarymenpodcast] Click the icon below to listen.[https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/podplay.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/-/931450892/0/evolutionarymenpodcast.mp3 [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/fblike20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/28/931450895/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/pinterest20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/29/931450895/EvolutionaryMenPodcast,https%3a%2f%2fevolutionary.men%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2025%2f12%2fe137.jpeg [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/x.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/24/931450895/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/email20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/19/931450895/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/rss20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/20/931450895/EvolutionaryMenPodcast

What Season is Your Relationship In?

In this episode my wife Violet and I break down why your relationship can’t always be sunny and perfect—and why that’s actually a good thing. We walk through the four seasons of relationships and the reality of how different parts of your partnership can be in completely different seasons at the same time. Your sex life might be in spring while your emotional connection is in winter, and not knowing that can keep you confused about what’s actually going wrong. If you’ve ever wondered why the spark faded or why connection feels harder than it used to, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening—and what to do about it before you lose years to autopilot. Join our free connection date night for couples at https://evolutionarycouples.us/evolutionofus [https://feeds.evolutionary.men/~/t/0/0/evolutionarymenpodcast/~https://evolutionarycouples.us/evolutionofus] Learn more about our programs Evolutionary Couples and 12 Epic Dates at https://evolutionarycouples.us [https://feeds.evolutionary.men/~/t/0/0/evolutionarymenpodcast/~https://evolutionarycouples.us/] [https://feeds.evolutionary.men/~/i/927338063/0/evolutionarymenpodcast] Click the icon below to listen.[https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/podplay.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/-/927338060/0/evolutionarymenpodcast.mp3 [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/fblike20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/28/927338063/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/pinterest20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/29/927338063/EvolutionaryMenPodcast,https%3a%2f%2fevolutionary.men%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2025%2f11%2fe135-1.png [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/x.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/24/927338063/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/email20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/19/927338063/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/rss20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/20/927338063/EvolutionaryMenPodcast

Shadow Work for Anxiety & Worry (with Luke Adler)

In this episode Luke and I dive into the shadow of worry and rumination that keeps so many men trapped in their heads. We break down why living from the shoulders up isn’t strength, it’s avoidance. You’ll hear about the subtle ways fear masquerades as logic, how productivity can become procrastination, and why jacking off might be your nervous system’s go-to discharge pattern. We get into the real work of traversing from your head to your heart to your guts, and why community isn’t optional for this journey. Join a Heart of Shadow Men’s Group & Retreat [https://feeds.evolutionary.men/~/t/0/0/evolutionarymenpodcast/~https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow] [https://feeds.evolutionary.men/~/i/927230555/0/evolutionarymenpodcast] Click the icon below to listen.[https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/podplay.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/-/927230552/0/evolutionarymenpodcast.mp3 [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/fblike20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/28/927230555/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/pinterest20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/29/927230555/EvolutionaryMenPodcast,https%3a%2f%2fevolutionary.men%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2025%2f11%2fe135.jpeg [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/x.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/24/927230555/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/email20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/19/927230555/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/rss20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/20/927230555/EvolutionaryMenPodcast

The Five Scariest Moments in Our Relationship (with Violet Lange)

In this episode my wife Violet and I share the five scariest moments in our relationship. These weren’t just hard conversations or minor disagreements, but the moments where both of us genuinely questioned whether we’d make it, whether we’d chosen the right partner, or whether we were trapped in patterns we couldn’t escape. We get specific about what actually happened, the deep fears underneath each crisis, and the exact moves that allowed us to work through the terror instead of letting it end things. If you’ve ever had that gut-punch moment in your relationship where you think “is this it, is this over?” then listen in! Every long-term couple hits these inflection points where fear can either derail everything or become the catalyst for deeper trust and connection. Tune in to learn how we did it, what we’d do differently, and why these scary moments became some of the most important turning points in building a relationship that actually works. Join our FREE CONNECTION DATE NIGHT for couples at https://evolutionarycouples.us/evolutionofus [https://feeds.evolutionary.men/~/t/0/0/evolutionarymenpodcast/~https://evolutionarycouples.us/evolutionofus] Go on 12 Epic Dates and/or do the Evolutionary Couples program at https://evolutionarycouples.us [https://feeds.evolutionary.men/~/t/0/0/evolutionarymenpodcast/~https://evolutionarycouples.us/] [https://feeds.evolutionary.men/~/i/927020156/0/evolutionarymenpodcast] Click the icon below to listen.[https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/podplay.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/-/927020153/0/evolutionarymenpodcast.mp3 [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/fblike20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/28/927020156/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/pinterest20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/29/927020156/EvolutionaryMenPodcast,https%3a%2f%2fevolutionary.men%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2025%2f10%2fe134.jpeg [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/x.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/24/927020156/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/email20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/19/927020156/EvolutionaryMenPodcast [https://assets.feedblitz.com/i/rss20.png]https://feeds.evolutionary.men/_/20/927020156/EvolutionaryMenPodcast