Himbos: Romance's Most Radical Response to Toxic Masculinity

We're Ranking for "Heated Rivalry Cu*k Chair" and Other Second Year Wins

It’s the anniversary episode! Two years. 108 episodes. Top 10 search rankings for some things that will never be repeated in polite company. Nikki and Meg are celebrating the second anniversary of First Dates and Soulmates with a full retrospective, a reveal of the show’s new direction, some extremely revealing SEO data, and a genuinely sweet conversation about why they’re still doing this. What’s in this anniversary episode: * The new show positioning and why niching down in belief rather than audience changed everything about how the show feels to make * The SEO breakdown that explains how a cuck chair became their number-one traffic keyword * Why food p*rn is a legacy Nikki has to live with * What year three looks like and a podcast strategy built around riding cultural moments without just chasing trends Ships this Week: * The Island by Briar Prescott [https://amzn.to/4tKD48F] * The Best Men by Lauren Blakely and Sarina Bowen [https://amzn.to/3Pv9174] All eight of our romance trope & archetype frameworks: * The FAKING IT Framework [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/faking-it-framework/]: An 8-step acronym for evaluating fake dating romance — from the Falsehood that starts the premise to the Truth that ends it. Use it to figure out whether a fake dating book has earned its real feelings. Based on episode 47: Where Absurd Meets Heartfelt: Why We Love The Fake Dating Trope [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/p/47-where-absurd-meets-heartfelt-why?utm_source=publication-search]. * The [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/second-chance-blueprint/] https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/second-chance-blueprint/Second Chance Blueprint [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/second-chance-blueprint/]: A 7-element framework for the most emotionally demanding trope in romance. Second chance stories open in history, not hope — and this blueprint maps what has to be present for the reunion to land. Based on episode 97: Second Chance Romance: Why We Love Getting Back Together [https://open.substack.com/pub/firstdatesandsoulmates/p/97-second-chance-romance-why-we-love?r=1o37ki&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web]. * The Friendship GAMBLE Framework [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/friends-to-lovers/] A 6-step acronym for friends to lovers romance, built around the central argument: the friendship isn’t the premise, it’s the wager. Use it to evaluate whether a book has actually earned the leap. Based on episode 78:zz Friends to Lovers Explained: The Comfort, Chaos, and Chemistry. [https://open.substack.com/pub/firstdatesandsoulmates/p/78-friends-to-lovers-explained-the?r=1o37ki&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true] * The Identity Disco Framework [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/queer-awakening/]: A 5-stage framework for queer awakening romance, structured around a night out that changes everything. The Identity Disco is the internal awakening that happens any time someone realizes they don’t fit the heteronormative container they were handed — and it’s not a one-night event. Based on episode 56: “I’m Coming Out”: Queer Awakenings in Romance [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/p/56-im-coming-out-queer-awakenings?utm_source=publication-search]. * Enemies to Lovers: 5 Types and How Each Earns Its Ending [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/enemies-to-lovers/]: A taxonomy of the most mislabeled trope in romance — distinguishing past conflict, misunderstanding, rivalry, class, and generational enmity, with victory conditions for each type. Based on episode 7: Trope Deep Dive: Enemies to Lovers. [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/vampire-archtype/] Brooder, Predator, Protector, Monster: The Four Faces of the Vampire Romance Hero [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/vampire-archtype/]: A four-type taxonomy of the vampire romance hero, with a historical arc showing which archetype dominated in each cultural moment — and why. Every era gets the vampire it deserves. Based on episode 73: Love at First Bite: Vampires in Romance [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/p/73-love-at-first-bite-vampires-in?utm_source=publication-search]. Terrifying Exterior, Devoted Interior: The Unexpected Job of Monster Romance [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/monster-romance/] A framework for reading monster romance built around the central argument: it’s not about the monster, it’s about the process of replacing inherited fear with direct observation. Includes four axes for evaluating any monster romance regardless of how weird it gets. Based on episode 75: Monster Romance & Lily Mayne’s Soul Eater [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/p/75-monster-romance-and-lily-maynes?utm_source=publication-search] & episode 93: Morning Glory Milking Farm [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/p/93-morning-glory-milking-farm-yes?utm_source=publication-search] The Himbo Archetype: Romance’s Most Underestimated Hero A framework for the romance hero who arrives already open — no walls, no emotional withholding, no labor required to make him palatable. Includes how to distinguish the Himbo from the Meathead, the Golden Retriever, and the Cinnamon Roll, and why the archetype rose when it did. Based on episode 106: Himbos: Romance’s Most Radical Response to Toxic Masculinity [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/p/himbos-romances-most-radical-response?utm_source=publication-search]. Thank you the soulmates who are on this journey! How You Can Support The Show Share the show with a friend or loved one! Rate, review, and subscribe on your podcast provider of choice Discover your romance trope and get a custom play list at https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/ [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/] Follow Us On Social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/ [https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/] TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates [https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates [https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates] Threads: https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates [https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates] Email us at firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com [firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com] Share the show with a friend or loved one! Got a Little Extra Money to Spend? Check out our sponsorship opportunities: https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/ [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/] Buy our official merch on TeePublic: http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk [http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk] Get Meg’s Latest Book: https://amzn.to/4altuTv [https://amzn.to/4altuTv] Shop our affiliate book recs on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative [https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative] Get a paid subscription on Substack for one month or for many months! Get full access to First Dates & Soulmates: Romance Podcast at firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/subscribe [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Off Campus Season 1: The Good, the Great, and the Unnecessary Nudity?

The Off Campus adaptation has arrived on Amazon Prime, and Nikki and Meg watched all eight episodes in five days because once it started, stopping wasn’t really an option. Their verdict? An 8 out of 10 (Meg holds out for an 8.5) with some genuine craft praise and sharp criticism for where the final episodes lost the thread. Listen in for: * Why Meg thinks the Justin-as-musician swap was actually the right adaptation call * Dean’s consent speech that every person on earth should have to watch * Where the final two episodes lost the thread and what the show needed to deliver for Garrett that it didn’t * The adaptation choice that replaced the blackmail plot and whether it lands with Bad Hockey Dad * Music as a character: how the show used song to do what the book couldn’t * The internet’s circumcision discourse, which was not on anyone’s bingo card The full frontal was unexpected. The feelings were not. Books: * The Deal by Elle Kennedy [https://amzn.to/4wBE1TD] * Don’t Eat Your Human Boyfriend by Lily Mayne [https://amzn.to/3PAToea] * Rope Me Down by N. Slater [https://amzn.to/4fdGE83] How You Can Support The Show Share the show with a friend or loved one! Rate, review, and subscribe on your podcast provider of choice Discover your romance trope and get a custom play list at https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/ [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/] Follow Us On Social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/ [https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/] TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates [https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates [https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates] Threads: https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates [https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates] Email us at firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com [firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com] Share the show with a friend or loved one! Got a Little Extra Money to Spend? Check out our sponsorship opportunities: https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/ [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/] Buy our official merch on TeePublic: http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk [http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk] Get Meg’s Latest Book: https://amzn.to/4altuTv [https://amzn.to/4altuTv] Shop our affiliate book recs on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative [https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative] Get a paid subscription on Substack for one month or for many months! Get full access to First Dates & Soulmates: Romance Podcast at firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/subscribe [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Himbos: Romance's Most Radical Response to Toxic Masculinity

The romance genre has been quietly running a masculinity experiment for years, and Nikki and Meg are here to analyze the data! This week, they’re breaking down the himbo: the handsome, kind, not-always-the-sharpest-tool-in-the-shed hero who may actually be the most politically interesting archetype in contemporary romance. What you’ll catch in this episode: * Why the word “bimbo” was originally Italian slang for a man and the Oxford English Dictionary’s 1929 definition that will make you throw something * What the rise of the himbo says about collective reader exhaustion with alpha heroes, billionaires, and men who need fixing * Why he gets to be big, strong, and protective with none of the control, aggression, or emotional withholding that usually comes packaged with that * Why the himbo’s lack of sexual hangups makes him the perfect vehicle for a queer awakening arc Nikki and Meg make the case that the himbo isn't a silly trope! He's a cultural dispatch from a moment when readers are flat-out done doing the emotional labour of fixing men, even fictional ones. This episode developed the Himbo Archetype Framework [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/himbo-archetype/] — First Dates & Soulmates' guide to romance's most underestimated hero, including how to distinguish the Himbo from the Meathead, the Golden Retriever, and the Cinnamon Roll. The Himbo Book List: * 10 Ways to Accidentally Fall in Love [https://amzn.to/4epUi7s] by Emmy Sanders: https://amzn.to/4epUi7s * An Unwitting Bargain [https://amzn.to/3RhK7Ip] by Grae Bryan: https://amzn.to/3RhK7Ip * Muscling Through [https://amzn.to/4cZeNpc] by JL Merrow: https://amzn.to/4cZeNpc * Whit [https://amzn.to/3RimFL9] by Cora Rose: https://amzn.to/3RimFL9 * Himbo Hitman [https://amzn.to/3R2QGi1] by Saxon James: https://amzn.to/3R2QGi1 * Mr Romance [https://amzn.to/4tKpnaH] by Louisa Masters: https://amzn.to/4tKpnaH * How to Flirt With a Hellhound [https://amzn.to/3P21Y5A] by Shannon Mae: https://amzn.to/3P21Y5A * Not All Himbos Wear Capes [https://amzn.to/4tKpumD] by C. Rochelle: https://amzn.to/4tKpumD * Time to Shine [https://amzn.to/48EAlGt] by Rachel Reid: https://amzn.to/48EAlGt * Irresponsible Puckbo [https://amzn.to/4w3eimR]y by Eden Finley and Saxon James * Jacked (Gymbos 1) [https://amzn.to/4eXYgEr] by KM Neuhold: https://amzn.to/4eXYgEr * The Barkeep and the Bro [https://amzn.to/3Pkbi4O] by AJ Truman: https://amzn.to/3Pkbi4O * Against A Wall [https://amzn.to/4tb66hu] by Cate C. Wells: https://amzn.to/4tb66hu * A Court of Silver Flames [https://amzn.to/42czr05] by Sarah J. Maas Our Ships this week: * Charming Puckboy [https://amzn.to/4t7FMox] by Saxon James and Eden Finley: https://amzn.to/4t7FMox * Bedside Manor [https://amzn.to/4tgCX4K] by C. G. Mason: https://amzn.to/4tgCX4K How You Can Support The Show Share the show with a friend or loved one! Rate, review, and subscribe on your podcast provider of choice Discover your romance trope and get a custom play list at https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/ [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/] Follow Us On Social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/ [https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/] TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates [https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates [https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates] Threads: https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates [https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates] Email us at firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com [firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com] Share the show with a friend or loved one! Got a Little Extra Money to Spend? Check out our sponsorship opportunities: https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/ [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/] Buy our official merch on TeePublic: http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk [http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk] Get Meg’s Latest Book: https://amzn.to/4altuTv [https://amzn.to/4altuTv] Shop our affiliate book recs on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative [https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative] Get a paid subscription on Substack for one month or for many months! Get full access to First Dates & Soulmates: Romance Podcast at firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/subscribe [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

Sm*t With Standards: A Conversation About Short Romance Fiction

Smut has a quality problem and Allison Whaley, founder of Bothered Stories, is fixing it one well-written, high-heat short story at a time. She joins Nikki and Meg to make the case that erotica deserves the same craft and editorial standards as the romance novels you’re already staying up too late to finish. * Why passive voice in a sex scene is basically a crime, and the actual editorial rules Bothered Stories enforces (RIP “member” and “Johnson”) * The argument that a sex scene is exactly like an action set piece and why both get boring fast when they stop moving the story forward * Why curation is the antidote to “infobesity” and why that matters more than ever now that AI is flooding the market with low-quality fiction * Nikki’s official description of Bothered Stories as “a very well-written vibrator” and why Allison is here for it If you’ve ever skipped a cringey sex scene and thought “someone should fix this,” this episode is for you. Find Allison and Bothered Stories at https://www.botheredstories.com Our Ships: * Stick Around: A Punk as Puck Novel (Legends & Fury Book 1) by EM Lindsey [https://amzn.to/48VoEvd] * After Hours on Milagro Street by Angelina M. Lopez [https://amzn.to/4n0UX1j] How You Can Support The Show Share the show with a friend or loved one! Rate, review, and subscribe on your podcast provider of choice Discover your romance trope and get a custom play list at https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/ [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/] Follow Us On Social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/ [https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/] TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates [https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates [https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates] Threads: https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates [https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates] Email us at firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com [firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com] Share the show with a friend or loved one! Got a Little Extra Money to Spend? Check out our sponsorship opportunities: https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/ [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/] Buy our official merch on TeePublic: http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk [http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk] Get Meg’s Latest Book: https://amzn.to/4altuTv [https://amzn.to/4altuTv] Shop our affiliate book recs on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative [https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative] Get a paid subscription on Substack for one month or for many months! Get full access to First Dates & Soulmates: Romance Podcast at firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/subscribe [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]

The 1960s RomComs Were Wild: From Workplace Satire to Fake Hungarian Princesses

Nikki and Meg are going full film critic this week with the 1960s instalment of their Rom-Coms Through the Ages series and one of them refused to pay $4 to finish My Fair Lady. She has zero regrets. What Nikki and Meg get into: * Why The Apartment‘s CC Baxter is the golden retriever hero of 1960s Hollywood and how he holds up against every mediocre romantic lead they’ve covered so far * The coercion hiding in plain sight in both films — and why the collapse of the Hays Code finally let directors put it on screen * How My Fair Lady‘s makeover arc is the blueprint for every “she just needed to be improved to be worthy of love” story that came after, from Pretty Woman to She’s All That * The George Bernard Shaw feminist origin story that the musical completely ignored, and the Rex Harrison lore that will make you feel deeply vindicated on Julie Andrews’ behalf * Where Eliza Doolittle’s internal life went, and why the answer says everything about women’s agency in 1960s Hollywood One of these films is a hidden gem worth watching immediately. The other one ends with a man asking for his slippers and calling it romance. We’ll let you figure out which is which. Our Ships: * Moderating Love by Jax Calder [https://amzn.to/42vw8RK] * Silvercrest U Series by Willow Dixon, Book 1: Wicked Games [https://amzn.to/41Xcmyj] How You Can Support The Show Share the show with a friend or loved one! Rate, review, and subscribe on your podcast provider of choice Discover your romance trope and get a custom play list at https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/ [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/quiz/] Follow Us On Social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/ [https://www.instagram.com/firstdatesandsoulmates/] TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates [https://www.tiktok.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates [https://www.youtube.com/@FirstDatesSoulmates] Threads: https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates [https://www.threads.com/@firstdatesandsoulmates] Email us at firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com [firstdatesandsoulmatespod@gmail.com] Share the show with a friend or loved one! Got a Little Extra Money to Spend? Check out our sponsorship opportunities: https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/ [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.com/sponsor/] Buy our official merch on TeePublic: http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk [http://tee.pub/lic/6TtnpmFagAk] Get Meg’s Latest Book: https://amzn.to/4altuTv [https://amzn.to/4altuTv] Shop our affiliate book recs on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative [https://www.amazon.com/shop/caseboltcreative] Get a paid subscription on Substack for one month or for many months! Get full access to First Dates & Soulmates: Romance Podcast at firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/subscribe [https://firstdatesandsoulmates.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4]