Full But Not Finished

30. When Body Image Meets Aging: a conversation with Deb Benfield

44 min · 13 de may de 2026
Portada del episodio 30. When Body Image Meets Aging: a conversation with Deb Benfield

Descripción

Aging is natural, but women are rarely allowed to experience it that way. In this episode, I talk with Deb Benfield, author of Unapologetic Aging, about the pressure women face to keep defying the evidence. This conversation is really about the promise underneath anti-aging culture: that if we can stay young enough, thin enough, smooth enough, or close enough to the ideal, we might stay safe, wanted, respected, and socially protected. Deb talks about why that promise is so powerful, why it becomes especially intense in midlife, and why it can cost women so much of their attention, creativity, sexuality, and actual life. We also talk about the body hierarchy, the fear of becoming irrelevant, the way younger women are being pulled into anti-aging fear earlier than ever, and what it means to come back into the body from the inside rather than constantly evaluating it from the outside. This is a conversation about aging, but more than that, it's about compliance, embodiment, and the possibility of using midlife for something more... fun. Deb Benfield is 67, a registered dietitian, nutrition therapist, and body image coach who has spent over 40 years working in the ED and body image world. Her current work focuses on helping people mend their relationship with their aging bodies. Deb's Unapologetic Aging Circle [https://www.debrabenfield.com/group-coaching] Deb's Book: Unapologetic Aging [https://www.debrabenfield.com/book] More from Stef: Binge Eating to Intuitive Eating (BE2IE) Self-Study Course iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse] Substack (essays on body image, appetite, and the nervous system) iamstefaniemichele.substack.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.substack.com] Instagram (daily thoughts + short-form content) instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele [https://www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele]

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32 episodios

episode 32. Supporting a Partner Through Binge Eating Recovery (a conversation with my actual husband) artwork

32. Supporting a Partner Through Binge Eating Recovery (a conversation with my actual husband)

In this episode, Stef talks with her husband, Mike, about what it was like to support her through years of binge eating, restriction, body shame, and recovery. They talk about what he noticed in the early years of their relationship, what he misunderstood, what helped him understand binge eating more clearly, and why trying to "fix" it usually didn't work. They also discuss the quieter parts of support: listening without judgment, staying steady when recovery felt terrifying, not making weight gain the center of the relationship, and having a life outside of the eating disorder so the relationship could still hold more than distress. This conversation is for anyone supporting a partner, spouse, friend, or family member through binge eating recovery, and for anyone in recovery who worries that their struggle is taking up too much space in their relationship. It is a real look at what support can sound like when someone does not fully understand the eating disorder, but is still willing to stay present, learn, and keep taking the next step with you. More from Stef: Binge Eating to Intuitive Eating (BE2IE) Self-Study Course iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse] Substack (essays on body image, appetite, and the nervous system) iamstefaniemichele.substack.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.substack.com] Instagram (daily thoughts + short-form content) instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele [https://www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele]

27 de may de 202645 min
episode 31. Hilary Duff, "Strong Not Small," and Body Diversity in Wellness artwork

31. Hilary Duff, "Strong Not Small," and Body Diversity in Wellness

Hilary Duff's "Strong Not Small" campaign has brought up a bigger conversation about wellness culture, diet culture, fitness ideals, and the way bodies are still expected to show up. On the surface, "strong not small" sounds like progress, especially for millennial women who grew up in the early 2000s celebrity body-shaming era. We were taught to fear weight gain, compare ourselves to famous women, and treat thinness as proof that we were disciplined, desirable, and doing life correctly. But what happens when the new ideal still looks very similar to the old one? In this episode, I'm talking about Hilary Duff's strength-training campaign, the shift from "skinny" to "strong," and how wellness culture can repackage diet culture in language that sounds more empowering. This isn't about criticizing Hilary Duff personally, and it's not about criticizing strength training. Movement, muscle, and feeling strong in your body can be genuinely supportive. The issue is the pressure that shows up when "healthy" still has to look toned, small, youthful, sculpted, and commercially beautiful. We'll get into why fitness and wellness messaging can feel inspiring while also activating the same body-image pressure many women are trying to recover from. I also talk about how social media, celebrity culture, wellness trends, and fitness campaigns shape what we believe is normal, even when we logically know celebrities have access to trainers, money, editing, time, and resources most people do not. Topics covered in this episode include: * Hilary Duff's "Strong Not Small" campaign * Millennial body image and early 2000s beauty standards * Why "strong, not skinny" can still become a body standard * The overlap between wellness culture and diet culture * How fitness trends create pressure, rebellion, or over-compliance * Why your nervous system absorbs imagery before your logic can argue with it * The problem with equating health with visible aesthetics * How to reconnect with movement, strength, and wellbeing on your own terms * Questions to ask yourself when "shoulds" start moving in on your empowerment More from Stef: Binge Eating to Intuitive Eating (BE2IE) Self-Study Course iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse] Substack (essays on body image, appetite, and the nervous system) iamstefaniemichele.substack.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.substack.com] Instagram instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele [https://www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele]

19 de may de 202640 min
episode 30. When Body Image Meets Aging: a conversation with Deb Benfield artwork

30. When Body Image Meets Aging: a conversation with Deb Benfield

Aging is natural, but women are rarely allowed to experience it that way. In this episode, I talk with Deb Benfield, author of Unapologetic Aging, about the pressure women face to keep defying the evidence. This conversation is really about the promise underneath anti-aging culture: that if we can stay young enough, thin enough, smooth enough, or close enough to the ideal, we might stay safe, wanted, respected, and socially protected. Deb talks about why that promise is so powerful, why it becomes especially intense in midlife, and why it can cost women so much of their attention, creativity, sexuality, and actual life. We also talk about the body hierarchy, the fear of becoming irrelevant, the way younger women are being pulled into anti-aging fear earlier than ever, and what it means to come back into the body from the inside rather than constantly evaluating it from the outside. This is a conversation about aging, but more than that, it's about compliance, embodiment, and the possibility of using midlife for something more... fun. Deb Benfield is 67, a registered dietitian, nutrition therapist, and body image coach who has spent over 40 years working in the ED and body image world. Her current work focuses on helping people mend their relationship with their aging bodies. Deb's Unapologetic Aging Circle [https://www.debrabenfield.com/group-coaching] Deb's Book: Unapologetic Aging [https://www.debrabenfield.com/book] More from Stef: Binge Eating to Intuitive Eating (BE2IE) Self-Study Course iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse] Substack (essays on body image, appetite, and the nervous system) iamstefaniemichele.substack.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.substack.com] Instagram (daily thoughts + short-form content) instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele [https://www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele]

13 de may de 202644 min
episode 29. Gentle Nutrition After Diet Culture: How To Make It Simple artwork

29. Gentle Nutrition After Diet Culture: How To Make It Simple

Nutrition is a complicated, sometimes scary word after ED recovery or dropping out of diet culture. You may want more energy, steadier meals, better digestion, or a way of eating that supports your body more consistently. But the second nutrition enters the conversation, it can start to feel threatening. Old rules come back. The pressure to get it right comes back. Even a small thought about protein, vegetables, or blood sugar can start to feel like a case for rebellion. In this episode, I'm talking about how to include nutrition in a non-diet relationship with food without turning it into another set of rules or self-sabotage. I get into overthinking, rebellion, adding instead of subtracting, keeping nutrition basic, all-or-nothing thinking, and why one food does not cancel out another. I also talk about life seasons, because what makes sense for your food has to make sense inside your actual life. This is a conversation about letting nutrition become a neutral, shoulders down experience. More from Stef: Binge Eating to Intuitive Eating (BE2IE) Self-Study Course iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.com/iamstefaniemichelecourse] Substack (essays on body image, appetite, and the nervous system) iamstefaniemichele.substack.com [https://iamstefaniemichele.substack.com] Instagram (daily thoughts + short-form content) instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele [https://www.instagram.com/iamstefaniemichele]

6 de may de 202641 min
episode 28. Life After Dieting with Guest Allison: Food Freedom, Body Image, and Motherhood artwork

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29 de abr de 202649 min