Bi Sex Columnist: How Rejection Leads to Sexual Shame

Lesbian Bar Historian — on Windows as Protest, Queer Bar Gentrification, and How You Can Save Them

If a gay bar you love has ever shut down, you must listen to this episode. In this episode, Rachel Karp and I get into her incredible road trip where she visited every lesbian bar in the country with her wife and best friend. She takes us on a tour of Queer bar history, complete with a legal fight to wear pants, how windows are actually a sign of progress, the difference between blue state bars and red, how bars are changing to keep up with the times, and four ways you can actually help your favorite queer bar today. RACHEL KARP is a writer and producer who has worked across podcasts, TV, film, theater, and digital media. The co-creator and producer of the award-winning documentary podcast Cruising, she has also supported series for LinkedIn News, Paramount+, A&E, and Oxygen. She holds a bachelor's degree in theater and English from Skidmore College. We Get Curious About: * How queer bars sometimes start the gentrification that eventually kills them * Why queer bars in Oklahoma have better communities than the ones in New York * Why queer bars with windows are a signal of radical progress * Who gets to exist in Queer bars? * How her podcast helped open a new Queer bar in Massachusetts * Four unique ways you can save the Queer bars you love! Links Pre-Order The Lesbian Bar Chronicles: https://www.beacon.org/The-Lesbian-Bar-Chronicles-P2460.aspx [https://www.beacon.org/The-Lesbian-Bar-Chronicles-P2460.aspx] Cruising Podcast: https://cruisingpod.com Rachel on IG: https://www.instagram.com/rachel.karp/ [https://www.instagram.com/rachel.karp/] Cruising on IG: https://www.instagram.com/cruisingpod [https://www.instagram.com/cruisingpod] Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton [https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton] Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/] Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Queer Spaces and Their Importance (03:17) The Journey of Chronicling Lesbian Bars (07:53) Experiences in Queer Bars Across the Country (12:27) The Significance of Community in Queer Spaces (14:48) Historical Impact of Queer Bars (18:55) Adapting to Modern Times: The Evolution of Queer Bars (22:55) Inclusivity in Queer Spaces: A Double Standard? (25:41) Navigating Identity and Community in Queer Bars (26:39) Exploring Queer Spaces in Red States (29:05) The Impact of Gentrification on Queer Bars (32:56) Supporting and Sustaining Queer Spaces (39:31) The Future of Queer Bars and Community (46:50) Preserving Queer History and Spaces This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Gay Bulge Expert (on Performance Anxiety, Holetox, & Sexting Pitfalls)

If you've ever avoided sex because you were scared of what might happen, this episode is for you. In this episode, nurse aesthetician and founder of Lushful Aesthetics, Chris Bustamante, and I explore all things dick-related. We get into why performance anxiety happens, what your testosterone is doing in your body, how your porn habits might be affecting sex, and why your sexting habits might need to change. CHRIS BUSTAMANTE is an aesthetic nurse practitioner and received his doctorate of Nursing Practice from Columbia University. Chris specializes in aesthetic treatments and utilizes both his knowledge of medicine and passion for aesthetics to deliver effective treatments from top to bottom that help his patients feel more confident about their appearance. Chris cares deeply about education and has built a following by sharing informative and engaging content about Lushful Aesthetics procedures, his clinic, which helps educate people on the world of aesthetic procedures and promotes a deeper understanding of the process behind these treatments. We unpack: * ✊Why you're probably gripping your 🍆 too hard when you're watching porn. * 🌶️Why you might be s*xting 'too hard' * 😫Why bottoming without preparation is making sex painful. * 💪🏼Why you can stop worrying about your testosterone levels. * 😌What your body is trying to tell you when you get soft. Links * Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/injectorchris [https://www.instagram.com/injectorchris] * Lushful Aesthetics: https://lushfulaesthetics.com/ [https://lushfulaesthetics.com/] * Splash Blanket: https://splashblanket.us/ [https://splashblanket.us/] * Aidan on IG: https://instagram.com/aidanwharton [https://instagram.com/aidanwharton] * Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/] Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Vulnerability and Connection (03:18) Exploring Sexual Shame and Anxiety (05:14) Understanding Masculinity and Performance (08:25) The Role of Testosterone in Sexual Health (11:40) Differentiating Between Performance Anxiety and ED (13:33) Rewiring Experiences and Overcoming Anxiety (20:02) The Impact of Porn on Sexual Expectations (25:58) Navigating Vulnerability in Sexual Encounters (28:21) Navigating Online Communication and Expectations (31:09) Understanding Gooning Culture and Its Effects (34:55) Exploring Performance Anxiety and Alternatives (38:39) The Role of Holetox in Enhancing Comfort (41:59) Body Image and Sexual Health Insights (46:51) The Importance of Connection and Community This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

3 Lessons To Make You Happier with JP Brammer

If you're tired of all the noise and want three simple tips to find a little more happiness, this is the episode for you. Today, you and I are sitting down with JP Brammer as he reveals three lessons that are making him genuinely happier right now. We learn how to ask for what you need, why you need to wash your thoughts like dishes, why you might feel lonely in a group of gays, the corrosive effects of comfort, and how to really trust what's best for you. John Paul Brammer is an award-winning writer and artist from Lawton, Oklahoma, currently based in Brooklyn. His memoir-in-essays, ¡Hola Papi!, was published in 2021, and is based on his popular advice column of the same name. His bylines include The New Yorker, The New York times, The Washington Post, and The Los Angeles Times. He is working on his second and third books. We explore: * Why hell is the Fire Island house next door * How a 1700s Swedish mystic can grant you a day pass to heaven * How Buzzfeed personality quizzes created a generation of anxiety * Why the Spotify CEO considers silence his biggest competitor and what that means for your brain * The one piece of advice every gay person needs Links * John Paul Brammer on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/jpbrammer] * John Paul Brammer on Substack [https://johnpaulbrammer.substack.com/] * Splash Blanket Waterproof Blanket [https://splashblanket.us/] * Aidan Wharton on Instagram [https://instagram.com/aidanwharton] * Getting Close on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/] Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Connection and Happiness (03:07) Navigating Advice and Autonomy (06:02) The Journey of an Advice Giver (08:50) Lessons from Vulnerable Communities (11:59) Embracing Your Authentic Self (14:55) The Importance of Asking (18:06) The Role of Spirituality in Connection (20:57) Communities and Personal Growth (27:45) The Complexity of Community and Loneliness (28:42) The Quality of Thoughts and Mental Hygiene (30:39) Influence of Social Media on Thought Patterns (33:31) The Value of Silence and Stillness (36:25) Cruelty and Its Cost on Mental Health (38:46) Trusting Your Intuition and Recognizing Discomfort (41:32) The Illusion of Comfort and Its Consequences (43:31) Navigating Discomfort in Relationships (45:52) Advice for Future Self and Creative Projects (52:36) Community Connections and Personal Growth This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Bi Sex Columnist: How Rejection Leads to Sexual Shame

If you're tired of missing out on opportunities for fear of rejection, this episode is for you. Today, you and I are sitting down with Zachary Zane to discuss how rejection rules our lives and ends up turning into shame. We get into so much juicy stuff like how rejection lives in the body, the nuances of bisexuality, how to overcome shame and embrace your kinky side, the lessons Zach has learned from the vast amounts of sex he's had. Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based sex columnist and author whose work centers on sexuality, culture, and the LGBTQ community. He is the author of https://www.amazon.com/Boyslut-Memoir-Manifesto-Zachary-Zane/dp/1419764713Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto [https://www.amazon.com/Boyslut-Memoir-Manifesto-Zachary-Zane/dp/1419764713] and co-author of https://www.amazon.com/Mens-Health-Best-Sex-Ever/dp/1950785874Men's Health: Best. Sex. Ever. [https://www.amazon.com/Mens-Health-Best-Sex-Ever/dp/1950785874] He is also editor-in-chief of the BOYSLUT zine [https://zacharyzane.substack.com/], and his writing has been featured in Men's Health, Cosmopolitan, New York Times, Rolling Stone, Washington Post, GQ, Playboy, and more. We unpack: * How to take rejection like a pro and keep moving * How to navigate sexual shame to become a bit more liberated * Why being specific about your kinks on the apps actually gets you rejected less * How to navigate bottom stigma in the gay community * Why you should practice your rejections in the mirror Links * Boy Slut by Zachary Zane [https://bookshop.org/p/books/boyslut-a-memoir-and-manifesto-zachary-zane/b84737203b150376] * Zachary Zane on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/zacharyzane_] * Boy Slut on Substack [https://boyslut.substack.com/] * Splash Blanket Waterproof Blanket [https://splashblanket.us] * Aidan on Instagram [https://instagram.com/aidanwharton] * Getting Close on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/] Chapters (00:00) Understanding Rejection and Shame (04:09) Navigating Personal Experiences of Rejection (10:03) The Impact of Rejection on Relationships (13:45) The Role of Kindness in Rejection (20:11) Exploring Bisexuality and Rejection (26:02) Attraction vs. Behavior in Sexual Identity (27:25) The Journey of Oversharing (31:01) Navigating Shame and Vulnerability (35:30) Building Community and Connection (39:12) Challenging Stigmas in the Gay Community (44:25) Exploring Bisexual Representation (47:26) Curiosity and Connection in Literature This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Gay Political Strategist: How to Talk Politics At Brunch

If you've turned off the news and feel guilty about it, this episode's for you. In today's episode, you and I are getting close with Brian Derrick. We discuss the complexities of political engagement, why we're all politically burnt out, why liberals keep losing, and how to turn politics from a hobby to an actionable lifestyle. Brian Derrick is a political strategist, activist, and Founder and CEO of Oath [https://app.oath.vote/] – a civic tech platform transforming political giving. He has consulted on campaigns from city council to president – most notably for Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) and Marti Gould Cummings (NYC City Council). Derrick is also a leader in the nonprofit sector. In this episode, we explore: * Why you need to fight with your friends * When it's okay to stop injesting the news. * Why your state senate donation matters more than your presidential one * How to tell if you've turned politics into a hobby * The real reason liberals keep losing. Before You Go * Please subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/getting-close/id1867210758], rate [https://www.youtube.com/@gettingclosepod], and review [https://open.spotify.com/show/6iZkYMi1cNTr5au8QpISwO?si=a4f34632163c4143] the show! * And share [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/getting-close/id1867210758] it with someone who you think might enjoy it. That's the best way you can help us grow! Links! Follow Brian: https://www.instagram.com/brianderrick_ [https://www.instagram.com/brianderrick_] Check Out Oath: https://app.oath.vote/ [https://app.oath.vote/] Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton [https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton] Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod [https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod] Follow on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@gettingclosepod [https://www.youtube.com/@gettingclosepod] Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Political Engagement (02:17) Understanding Political Burnout (06:03) The Role of Data in Politics (10:16) Taking Action Beyond Knowledge (14:10) Navigating News Consumption (19:54) Long-Term Political Planning (24:32) Building Coalitions Through Disagreement (27:23) Navigating Difficult Conversations (30:21) The Importance of Engaging in Disagreements (33:42) Deciding to Win: Taking Action in Politics (37:04) Leveraging Resources for Political Change (41:21) Finding Hope in Local Elections (45:36) Cultivating Positivity in Political Discourse (47:05) The Role of Voting in Civic Duty (49:24) Curiosity and Connection in Community (52:40) Empowerment and Enacting Change This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]