Steven Rowley - on Gay Aging, Reinvention, and Aliens!

Steven Rowley - on Gay Aging, Reinvention, and Aliens!

If you've ever felt behind in life, like you aren't quite measuring up to your peers, or perhaps you have no clue what you're doing. If that's the case, this is the episode for you. In this episode, Steven Rowley and I sit down to discuss his incredible career and how he became a bestselling author after he turned 45. We unpack what it felt like to take that leap of faith and why it's never too late to reorient your life and start chasing your dreams. We also get vulnerable about the challenges of long-term relationships, our relationships to aging, and what it really means to be a role model in a post-AIDS world. Steven Rowley is the New York Times bestselling author of Lily and the Octopus, The Editor, The Guncle, The Celebrants, The Guncle Abroad, The Dogs of Venice, and Take Me With You. Originally from Portland, Maine, he is a graduate of Emerson College and currently resides in Palm Springs with his husband, the writer Byron Lane, and three rescue dogs. Links Steven's Books: https://www.stevenrowley.com/ [https://www.stevenrowley.com/] Steven on IG: https://www.instagram.com/mrstevenrowley/ [https://www.instagram.com/mrstevenrowley/] Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton [https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton] Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/] Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Reinvention and Second Chances (02:49) The Journey of Coming Out and Embracing Identity (06:09) The Path to Becoming a Writer (09:00) Navigating Relationships and Loneliness (11:54) The Challenges of Long-Term Relationships (15:08) The Leap of Faith into Writing (18:00) Aging and Its Perception in Society (20:51) Exploring Themes of Grief and Relationships in Writing (28:45) The Role of Humor in Grief and Reinvention (30:07) Navigating Grief and Creative Validation (32:19) The Importance of Intergenerational Friendships (34:11) Crushes and Their Significance in Relationships (36:03) The Intersection of Personal Life and Creative Work (37:56) Evolving Perspectives on Marriage and Relationships (40:14) The Impact of Online Discourse on Relationships (42:09) The Artist's Relationship with Their Work (45:24) Advice for Aspiring Authors (47:15) Being a Role Model Through Visibility (49:24) The Power of Storytelling in Building Empathy (49:54) Community and Connection in the Digital Age

Gay Money Expert — How the Gays Afford Their Trips, Surprising Side Hustles, and Shame Spending

If you're constantly worrying about money and wondering how you're going to make it through the summer without maxing out your cards, this episode's for you. In it, I sit down with finance guru Nick Wolny, author of Money Proud, as he teaches you and me his seven words to generate wealth. We also explore how shame makes us spend beyond our means, why Grindr is designed to make you so miserable, the unique ways LGBTQ folks interact with money, why you need to stop shopping on Instagram, and why investing is the key to building wealth. NICK WOLNY is a finance author and editor. He writes about money, behavior, queer culture, and how they intertwine, usually via his email newsletter Financialicious. Nick is the finance columnist for Out magazine and has provided on-air commentary for CNN, Good Morning America, and others. His first book, Money Proud: The Queer Guide to Generate Wealth, Slay Debt, and Build Good Habits to Secure Your Future, was published with HarperCollins and recommended by The New York Times. We Get Curious About: * How consumerism was invented to make you feel like sh*t about yourself * How LGBT folks are much more likely to overspend * Why gig work isn't the long-term side hustle we hope it is * Nick's number one tip to start turning your money around * How the gays afford all their lavish trips * How Grindr's bugs are all part of their plan to make you miserable Links Money Proud by Nick Wolney: https://nickwolney.com/book [https://nickwolney.com/book] Nick on IG: https://instagram.com/nickwolney [https://instagram.com/nickwolney] Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton [https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton] Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/] Wealthfront Investing App - https://www.wealthfront.com Acorns Investment App - https://www.acorns.com Weapon-Free Funds - https://www.ethicalinvesting.com/weapon-free [https://www.ethicalinvesting.com/weapon-free] Prison-Free Funds - https://www.ethicalinvesting.com/prison-free [https://www.ethicalinvesting.com/prison-free] Chapters (00:00) Introduction and Gratitude (02:53) Understanding Money Stress in the LGBTQ+ Community (05:48) The Emotional Side of Spending (09:06) Thought Patterns and Financial Literacy (12:09) The Seven Word Plan for Wealth (14:53) Budgeting and Intentional Spending (17:43) Consumerism and Identity (20:59) The Impact of Advertising on Spending Behavior (26:16) The Economics of Dating Apps (28:04) Exploring Income Opportunities (32:25) The Importance of Multiple Income Streams (33:20) Investing for the Future (39:41) Navigating Ethical Investing (41:58) Community and Connection in Finances

Lesbian Bar Historian — on Windows as Protest, Queer Bar Gentrification, and How You Can Save Them

If a gay bar you love has ever shut down, you must listen to this episode. In this episode, Rachel Karp and I get into her incredible road trip where she visited every lesbian bar in the country with her wife and best friend. She takes us on a tour of Queer bar history, complete with a legal fight to wear pants, how windows are actually a sign of progress, the difference between blue state bars and red, how bars are changing to keep up with the times, and four ways you can actually help your favorite queer bar today. RACHEL KARP is a writer and producer who has worked across podcasts, TV, film, theater, and digital media. The co-creator and producer of the award-winning documentary podcast Cruising, she has also supported series for LinkedIn News, Paramount+, A&E, and Oxygen. She holds a bachelor's degree in theater and English from Skidmore College. We Get Curious About: * How queer bars sometimes start the gentrification that eventually kills them * Why queer bars in Oklahoma have better communities than the ones in New York * Why queer bars with windows are a signal of radical progress * Who gets to exist in Queer bars? * How her podcast helped open a new Queer bar in Massachusetts * Four unique ways you can save the Queer bars you love! Links Pre-Order The Lesbian Bar Chronicles: https://www.beacon.org/The-Lesbian-Bar-Chronicles-P2460.aspx [https://www.beacon.org/The-Lesbian-Bar-Chronicles-P2460.aspx] Cruising Podcast: https://cruisingpod.com Rachel on IG: https://www.instagram.com/rachel.karp/ [https://www.instagram.com/rachel.karp/] Cruising on IG: https://www.instagram.com/cruisingpod [https://www.instagram.com/cruisingpod] Aidan on IG: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton [https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton] Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/] Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Queer Spaces and Their Importance (03:17) The Journey of Chronicling Lesbian Bars (07:53) Experiences in Queer Bars Across the Country (12:27) The Significance of Community in Queer Spaces (14:48) Historical Impact of Queer Bars (18:55) Adapting to Modern Times: The Evolution of Queer Bars (22:55) Inclusivity in Queer Spaces: A Double Standard? (25:41) Navigating Identity and Community in Queer Bars (26:39) Exploring Queer Spaces in Red States (29:05) The Impact of Gentrification on Queer Bars (32:56) Supporting and Sustaining Queer Spaces (39:31) The Future of Queer Bars and Community (46:50) Preserving Queer History and Spaces This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

Gay Bulge Expert (on Performance Anxiety, Holetox, & Sexting Pitfalls)

If you've ever avoided sex because you were scared of what might happen, this episode is for you. In this episode, nurse aesthetician and founder of Lushful Aesthetics, Chris Bustamante, and I explore all things dick-related. We get into why performance anxiety happens, what your testosterone is doing in your body, how your porn habits might be affecting sex, and why your sexting habits might need to change. CHRIS BUSTAMANTE is an aesthetic nurse practitioner and received his doctorate of Nursing Practice from Columbia University. Chris specializes in aesthetic treatments and utilizes both his knowledge of medicine and passion for aesthetics to deliver effective treatments from top to bottom that help his patients feel more confident about their appearance. Chris cares deeply about education and has built a following by sharing informative and engaging content about Lushful Aesthetics procedures, his clinic, which helps educate people on the world of aesthetic procedures and promotes a deeper understanding of the process behind these treatments. We unpack: * ✊Why you're probably gripping your 🍆 too hard when you're watching porn. * 🌶️Why you might be s*xting 'too hard' * 😫Why bottoming without preparation is making sex painful. * 💪🏼Why you can stop worrying about your testosterone levels. * 😌What your body is trying to tell you when you get soft. Links * Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/injectorchris [https://www.instagram.com/injectorchris] * Lushful Aesthetics: https://lushfulaesthetics.com/ [https://lushfulaesthetics.com/] * Splash Blanket: https://splashblanket.us/ [https://splashblanket.us/] * Aidan on IG: https://instagram.com/aidanwharton [https://instagram.com/aidanwharton] * Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/ [https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/] Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Vulnerability and Connection (03:18) Exploring Sexual Shame and Anxiety (05:14) Understanding Masculinity and Performance (08:25) The Role of Testosterone in Sexual Health (11:40) Differentiating Between Performance Anxiety and ED (13:33) Rewiring Experiences and Overcoming Anxiety (20:02) The Impact of Porn on Sexual Expectations (25:58) Navigating Vulnerability in Sexual Encounters (28:21) Navigating Online Communication and Expectations (31:09) Understanding Gooning Culture and Its Effects (34:55) Exploring Performance Anxiety and Alternatives (38:39) The Role of Holetox in Enhancing Comfort (41:59) Body Image and Sexual Health Insights (46:51) The Importance of Connection and Community This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

3 Lessons To Make You Happier with JP Brammer

If you're tired of all the noise and want three simple tips to find a little more happiness, this is the episode for you. Today, you and I are sitting down with JP Brammer as he reveals three lessons that are making him genuinely happier right now. We learn how to ask for what you need, why you need to wash your thoughts like dishes, why you might feel lonely in a group of gays, the corrosive effects of comfort, and how to really trust what's best for you. John Paul Brammer is an award-winning writer and artist from Lawton, Oklahoma, currently based in Brooklyn. His memoir-in-essays, ¡Hola Papi!, was published in 2021, and is based on his popular advice column of the same name. His bylines include The New Yorker, The New York times, The Washington Post, and The Los Angeles Times. He is working on his second and third books. We explore: * Why hell is the Fire Island house next door * How a 1700s Swedish mystic can grant you a day pass to heaven * How Buzzfeed personality quizzes created a generation of anxiety * Why the Spotify CEO considers silence his biggest competitor and what that means for your brain * The one piece of advice every gay person needs Links * John Paul Brammer on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/jpbrammer] * John Paul Brammer on Substack [https://johnpaulbrammer.substack.com/] * Splash Blanket Waterproof Blanket [https://splashblanket.us/] * Aidan Wharton on Instagram [https://instagram.com/aidanwharton] * Getting Close on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/] Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Connection and Happiness (03:07) Navigating Advice and Autonomy (06:02) The Journey of an Advice Giver (08:50) Lessons from Vulnerable Communities (11:59) Embracing Your Authentic Self (14:55) The Importance of Asking (18:06) The Role of Spirituality in Connection (20:57) Communities and Personal Growth (27:45) The Complexity of Community and Loneliness (28:42) The Quality of Thoughts and Mental Hygiene (30:39) Influence of Social Media on Thought Patterns (33:31) The Value of Silence and Stillness (36:25) Cruelty and Its Cost on Mental Health (38:46) Trusting Your Intuition and Recognizing Discomfort (41:32) The Illusion of Comfort and Its Consequences (43:31) Navigating Discomfort in Relationships (45:52) Advice for Future Self and Creative Projects (52:36) Community Connections and Personal Growth This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe [https://gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]