We Hit Every Goal. Still Not Happy. Here's Why.

I Love My Life. Why Do I Want to Run Away from Home at 55?

I had a go bag. Not a hurricane go bag. A leave-my-life go bag. For years, Lisa Wilson kept a secret "leave-my-life" bag at work...cash, a burner phone, extra clothes, and a plan to disappear if she ever needed to start over. The strange part? She wasn't trying to escape a bad life. She loved her husband. She loved her friends. She loved her job. So why did she still feel the need to have an exit strategy? In this episode of High Five Hot Mess, Lisa Wilson and Lisa Smith explore the difference between performing a life and actually living one. They talk about: ✅ The secret "go bag" that started a seven-month therapy conversation ✅ Feeling grateful for your life while still feeling disconnected from it ✅ Why so many people fantasize about running away, starting over, or living a completely different life ✅ The hobbies, dreams, and parts of ourselves that quietly disappear as responsibilities grow ✅ Being known only as "the capable one" ✅ Why "just because I'm good at it doesn't mean I want to do it" became the accidental theme of the episode ✅ Fantasy careers, floral shops, dance studios, cult leadership, and the lives we imagine we'd be living if nobody expected anything from us Most importantly, they ask a question many people secretly wonder: Are you living your life... or performing it? ---------------------------------------- Question for the comments: What percentage of your life feels like living... and what percentage feels like performing? ---------------------------------------- 🎙️ High Five Hot Mess is a comfort-comedy podcast about friendship, reinvention, happiness, modern life, and all the weird contradictions that come with being human. If you've ever looked around and thought: "Wait... how did I get here?" This episode is for you. ❤️ #HighFiveHotMess #Podcast #Midlife #Friendship #LifeTransitions #Authenticity #PersonalGrowth #WomenOver40 #GenX #ComfortComedy #Reinvention #MentalHealth #SelfDiscovery #PerformingALife #LivingYourLife

Do People Who Say NO...Live Longer?

Do people who say no actually live longer? This week Lisa and Lisa get into the emotional cost of always saying yes — and why so many women feel guilty setting boundaries, disappointing people, or putting themselves first. It starts with a study Lisa found claiming that people who resist outside pressure and act on their own terms may actually live longer. Which immediately sent both of them into a spiral about: • people pleasing • guilt • over-functioning • emotional exhaustion • and why women are so often taught that saying no makes them selfish They also talk about: • growing up in the 70s where “no” wasn’t really an option • why Lisa Smith says yes to almost everything • why Lisa Wilson absolutely does not • workplace pressure and career boundaries • friendship guilt • negotiating commitments instead of automatically saying yes • and whether constantly saying yes slowly disconnects us from ourselves This episode is not about becoming ruthless or cutting everyone off. It’s about figuring out where the line is between being kind… and disappearing yourself in the process. Mentioned in this episode: @mrsemmawalz Follow High Five Hot Mess everywhere: Instagram: @highfivehotmess YouTube: High Five Hot Mess Podcast

We Hit Every Goal. Still Not Happy. Here's Why.

You got the job. You hit the number. You built the life. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, you started wondering why you still feel tired, restless, or quietly empty. Turns out, that's not a personal failure. That's your brain doing exactly what it was designed to do. This week Lisa Wilson and Lisa Smith went down a happiness rabbit hole and found Yale professor Laurie Santos — whose class on the science of happiness is the most popular in Yale's history (and free online). What they discovered stopped her cold: our brains were not designed to choose happiness. They were designed to survive. And somewhere along the way, a lot of us confused productivity with happiness — and have been on the treadmill ever since. This week we get into: * The happiness treadmill — why your brain keeps moving the goalposts no matter what you achieve * Were we raised to earn happiness rather than just feel it? * Why stillness feels uncomfortable — and what that says about how we grew up * Two Netflix shows proving we're not always great at choosing what's good for us * The Southern Ladies Council on Appropriateness and Manners — and why every woman needs a group that tells her the truth * What did you think would make you happy — that didn't? New Here? High Five Hot Mess is a comfort-comedy podcast for everyone looking for a high five in this hot mess world. Two real friends with zero guru energy. Honest conversation and a lot of "wait, me too." Drop us a review if this episode felt like it was written for you — it genuinely helps people find us. Let's hang out! Find us: •       YouTube: @highfivehotmess •       Instagram: @highfivehotmess •       Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/high-five-hot-mess-podcast/id1883400763 [http://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/high-five-hot-mess-podcast/id1883400763] •       Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/1FJGMijJvEVb6TfE7p8KpG [http://open.spotify.com/episode/1FJGMijJvEVb6TfE7p8KpG] •       TikTok: @highfivehotmesspod •       Website: highfivehotmesspod.com [http://highfivehotmesspod.com]

How We’re Making Life Work Without Cutting Everything

Tide Pods are $30. Gas is $5.50 a gallon. Streaming services somehow cost as much as cable now… and one of us is unemployed. So no — we’re not cutting everything. We’re making trades. In this episode of the High Five Hot Mess Podcast, we talk about the emotional math women are doing right now to keep life working without giving up every single thing that still brings joy. We talk about: ✋ cutting cable but keeping the trip ✋ making homemade laundry detergent ✋ grocery store sticker shock ✋ spin classes during unemployment ✋ subscriptions quietly draining money ✋ how Lisa used ChatGPT to audit the podcast subscriptions and save $500 ✋ why “intentional spending” looks different for everyone This isn’t financial advice. It’s two Gen X women trying to figure out modern life in real time — while still trying to find the high fives. Because maybe the answer isn’t cutting everything. Maybe it’s making better trades. 🎙️ High Five Hot Mess Podcast New episodes every Thursday.

We Said We Were Fine… But We Weren’t | Recalibrate, Don’t Restart

We’ve all said it: “I’m fine.” “I’m okay.” “It’s all good.” But what if we’re not? This week on High Five Hot Mess, Lisa Wilson and Lisa Smith talk about the quiet weight so many women carry—stress, family pressure, changing goals, health fallout, emotional overload, and the pressure to keep functioning while life piles on. From buffalo humps and burnout to honesty, boundaries, and redefining happiness, this is a real conversation about what happens when life gets heavy. Sometimes the answer isn’t starting over. Sometimes the answer is recalibrating. 🖐️ Listen / Watch High Five Hot Mess: 🍎 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/ [https://podcasts.apple.com/] 📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@highfivehotmesspodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@highfivehotmesspodcast] 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/ [https://open.spotify.com/] 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highfivehotmesspodcast/ [https://www.instagram.com/highfivehotmesspodcast/] 🎙️ Recorded at The Pod Place – Las Vegas, Nevada https://thepodplace.com/ [https://thepodplace.com/] If this episode felt like your life right now, share it with a friend who keeps saying she’s “fine.” Please follow, rate, review, comment, and subscribe. It helps more than you know.