20 | Romantic Love vs. Real Love, Relationship Anxiety, and the Stage After Infatuation

22 | Leaving White American Evangelicalism, Christian Nationalism, Church in the South

Memphis, Tennessee is often considered the focal point for Christian Nationalism and conservative evangelicalism. My guest, Mark Hackett, grew up in this environment and refers to it as "white American evangelicalism." In our conversation, we discuss the characteristics of this type of Christianity and how it is unique to the South. According to Mark, the moralism, patriarchy, and strict authoritarian structures found in white American evangelicalism are not aligned with the Gospel and true Christianity. Mark shares candidly about how him and his family painfully left their church due to corruption and toxic political discourse. Mark shares how authentic Christianity is less about the afterlife and more about following the pattern that Jesus presents for how we live our lives and interact with others. Sign up for Mark's newsletter: https://www.markhackett.com/newsletter [https://www.markhackett.com/newsletter] Check out Mark's website: https://www.markhackett.com/about-me [https://www.markhackett.com/about-me] Mark's Article about his story: https://www.markhackett.com/writings/escaping-white-american-evangelicalism [https://www.markhackett.com/writings/escaping-white-american-evangelicalism] References: * Jesus and John Wayne [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/53121662-jesus-and-john-wayne] by Kristin Du Mez * The Flag and the Cross [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58783229-the-flag-and-the-cross?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=TaNdvAgNte&rank=1] by Philip Gorski Things we discuss: * Church culture in the South compared to California * Tolkien * What is Christian Nationalism? * Individualism in the church * The effects of Trumpism in Southern churches * Church abuse and corruption * Searching for a new church * What is true Christianity? What is the Gospel? * Why Mark shares his story via blogging and podcasting -- Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast]

Special Episode: Faith & Mental Health, Podcasting, What to Know About Gen-Z

Pat talks about why he started the podcast, the importance of storytelling, deconstructing Christian fundamentalist faith, and what people should know about Gen-Z. Learn more about the Weave project: https://weavers.org/ [https://weavers.org/] Join the Weaving Us community: https://weaving.us/ [https://weaving.us/] We discuss: * Growing up fundamentalist Christian * Faithful storytelling * Being quick to learn and not to judge * What others should know about Gen-Z * Gen-Z's cultural and economic context Contact Pat: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM [PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM] New Substack for the podcast! https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57 [https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57] Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast]

21 | When Your Child Doesn't Believe in God Anymore, Parenting, Views on Hell

After diligently raising her children in the church and conservative Christianity, Regan was shocked when her son Jonas confessed to not believing in the existence of God. Regan discusses how she saw proper Christian parenting as a step-by-step process that guaranteed the perseverance of her children's faith. The shift in her son's faith made it difficult for Regan to watch other Christian parents send their kids off on missions trips or marry their kids to other young Christians. We discuss Regan's journey leaving an abusive church, trusting a new community, and the developmental appropriateness of questioning belief during adolescence. She highlights the importance of retaining a loving and supportive relationship with her children, irrespective of their religious beliefs. Regan shares honestly about how her own faith has been challenged and refined as she navigates these realities.  Topics we discuss: - Parenting - Conservative Christianity - Homeschooling - Atheism - Views on hell - Eastern Orthodoxy - Spiritual and church abuse - Child development - Leaving room for mystery in faith - Importance of safe community __ Contact Pat: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM [PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM] New Substack for the podcast! https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57 [https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57] Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast]

20 | Romantic Love vs. Real Love, Relationship Anxiety, and the Stage After Infatuation

When Marianne was 21 years old, she started dating, Tony, the man of her dreams. Initially smitten and deeply infatuated, she thought of him constantly. Then nine months into the relationship, these feelings began to fade and Marianne experienced intense emotional turmoil, leading her to question the nature of love and her connection with Tony. It affected her so deeply that she couldn't eat or sleep.  Marianne talks about how society has idolized romantic love and elevated it to a godlike status, expecting it to fulfill our every need. Doubt is not presented as a normal part of relationships but rather a sign that something is wrong. Through resources like Cheryl Paul's work on relationship anxiety, Marianne discovered that love is more about action and commitment rather than just feelings. She learned that love is a choice to commit to someone even when it's difficult. Marianne's podcast about fantasy books: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AmfNU6P3iINRmE2x3uAgS?si=MNhfRqfkS8eEotCh4B4F8Q [https://open.spotify.com/show/2AmfNU6P3iINRmE2x3uAgS?si=MNhfRqfkS8eEotCh4B4F8Q] Marianne's newly published children's book about children of immigrant parents: https://www.amazon.com/Came-Here-You-Marianne-Boules/dp/1662953585 [https://www.amazon.com/Came-Here-You-Marianne-Boules/dp/1662953585]   Topics we discuss: - Relationship anxiety - Infatuation stage of a relationship - Romantic love versus real love - Love as a choice - Elizabeth Gilbert's book "Eat, Pray, Love" - Hozier's song "Take Me to Church" - Romantic love as a deity in culture - Doubt as a normal part of relationships __ New Substack for the podcast! https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57 [https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57] Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast]

19 | Myths of Adulthood, Becoming a "Complete" Person, and Holding Life Loosely

I created a new Substack for the podcast! It was time to revive my 2008 blogging skills. My first article is about my own "I Used to Think..." journey. Check it out here: https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57 [https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57] Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast] _____ Guy assumed there would be a day where he finally felt complete as a person. Looking back, he realized that instead, life is a journey of moments of completion. I talk with Guy about the concepts of growth, maturity, and the journey towards personal completion. We explore metaphors like lighthouses and skyscrapers to illustrate the differences between internal transformation and external appearances. We talk about our childhood perceptions of adulthood and evolving understandings of what it means to be complete. Guy shares the importance of recognizing life milestones of "completion" such as becoming a parent for the first time. We also delve into the importance of self-awareness and the invaluable role of mentors and spiritual guidance in navigating the ongoing journey of personal growth. Contact Pat: DM me on Instagram! @iusedtothinkpodcast Email: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM