The Relationship That Shapes Everything Else | Series on Self-Worth, Validation & Identity (Part 1)

The Relationship That Shapes Everything Else | Series on Self-Worth, Validation & Identity (Part 1)

You likely know how you feel about your relationships with other people - but how do you feel about your relationship with yourself? Whether we realize it or not, our relationship with ourselves influences nearly everything: our relationships, choices, ambitions, and even how we interpret everyday experiences. In this new series, we'll explore that relationship from many angles, including self-esteem and self-worth, validation, comparison, limerence, trauma, self-concept, and more. In this first episode, we explore why our relationship with ourselves matters so much - and why examining it isn't just navel-gazing or self-absorption. We discuss how self-esteem and self-worth issues can show up in subtle, often unconscious ways, introduce key concepts we'll build on throughout the series, and lay the foundation for the conversations ahead. If you've ever wondered why certain patterns keep repeating in your life, why some feedback affects you more than it should, or why your sense of worth can feel surprisingly fragile despite your accomplishments, this series is for you.  This is Part 1 of an ongoing series exploring our relationship with ourselves and how it shapes the way we move through the world. 00:00 How Is Your Relationship With Yourself? 00:53 Why Does This Matter? 03:49 How Common Is Low Self-Esteem? 05:51 What We'll Explore in This Series 09:10 Foundational Ideas for the Journey Ahead 10:27 Key Terms & Definitions 12:22 Beyond Self-Care: Feeling Worthy and Taking Loving Actions 15:37 Why We Sometimes Sabotage Ourselves 17:48 Does Self-Esteem Make Us Arrogant? 19:41 A Simple Definition of Self-Esteem Article mentioned:  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9276660/ Leave a voice message here [https://www.speakpipe.com/pamelacarey] Newsletter sign up [https://www.pamcarey.com/subscribers] YouTube - channel  [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjptoOwpT_auMHKf0akGexw] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/immersion_podcast/] - we will be posting here soon

The Hidden Personality Trait That Shapes Your Reality: Intuition vs. Sensing

There’s an often-overlooked personality trait that shapes how you process almost everything you encounter day-to-day. While traits like introversion and extraversion get all the spotlight, this core piece of our psychology is just as crucial to understand. Originally introduced by Carl Jung, the balance between Intuition and Sensing dictates whether you prefer to live in the tangible world of facts or the world of endless possibilities. In this episode, we explore: * The Tangible vs. The Possible: How Sensors and Intuitives see the exact same world differently. * Better Connections: How understanding this trait helps you communicate and connect with others. * Valuing Both: Why we need both perspectives to navigate the world effectively. Understanding how you process information is one of the best ways to navigate life more smoothly. I love this topic, and I hope it's helpful to you! Timestamps:  00:00 Sensing vs. Intuition: The Core Difference  06:44 Population Statistics of Sensors and Intuitives 10:03 Personality Preference vs. Being Put in a Box 12:25 Diversifying Skills: Valuing Sensing and Intuition 18:06 Meeting in the Middle: Communication for Sensors and Intuitives 20:55 Main Takeaways for Each Personality Type 21:32 Zen and Transcendence Between Both Resources:  * Free Personality Assessment: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test  (NOTE: This isn't a "true" MBTI test, but it's a great one that blends a few different theories together. You can read about their theory here) https://www.16personalities.com/articles/our-theory * Alternative Test (If past tests haven't felt right) https://mistypeinvestigator.com  * Article on the "Ladder of Abstraction" https://tombarrett.medium.com/up-and-down-the-ladder-of-abstraction-cb73533be751 * Past Video: "Why doesn’t my Myers-Briggs type fit me?" https://youtu.be/wHoj2Q6qYy8 Leave a voice message here [https://www.speakpipe.com/pamelacarey] Newsletter sign up [https://www.pamcarey.com/subscribers] YouTube - channel  [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjptoOwpT_auMHKf0akGexw] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/immersion_podcast/] - we will be posting here soon

Happiness Is Not the Opposite of Sadness | How to Handle Negative Emotions

If you’ve ever felt deeply grateful and incredibly sad at the exact same time, you know emotions don't always fit into neat boxes. We often view emotions as a simple spectrum, with happiness on one end and sadness on the other. But our feelings are far more nuanced than that. Instead of living on opposite sides of a continuum, our emotions operate more like individual "knobs" that turn up and down independently. In this episode, we explore how embracing this complexity can enrich our lives, help us move away from black-and-white thinking, and deepen our connections with others. We also talk through what to practically do when those feelings start to feel overwhelming. Timestamps:  00:00 - Are you experiencing an emotion, a feeling, or a mood? 04:15 - The spectrum myth: Can you be happy and sad at the same time? 11:00 - What is DBT? (And why we need to let emotions come up) 17:07 - "What do I do with this?" How to actually process a heavy emotion Resources mentioned in this episode: - APA Definition of Emotion: https://www.apa.org/topics/emotions - Stanford Research on Cultural Differences: https://news.stanford.edu/stories/2015/07/emotions-chinese-americans-070215 - Harvard Business Review (On Chasing Happiness): https://hbr.org/2015/08/happiness-isnt-the-absence-of-negative-feelings - Dr. David Matsumoto’s Research Paper on Emotions: https://davidmatsumoto.com/content/NG%20Spain%20Article_2_.pdf - Psychology Today (Emotions vs. Feelings): https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-pleasure-is-all-yours/202202/the-important-difference-between-emotions-and-feelings This is a follow up to this episode on how culture shapes our perception of happiness: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/19001429 Leave a voice message here [https://www.speakpipe.com/pamelacarey] Newsletter sign up [https://www.pamcarey.com/subscribers] YouTube - channel  [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjptoOwpT_auMHKf0akGexw] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/immersion_podcast/] - we will be posting here soon

Ending Excess Screen Time (Habits that actually work)

We’ve all heard the basic advice: turn off notifications, put your phone in grayscale, or just "try harder." But if you’re like me, those tips didn't stick. After years of experimentation and diving into the psychology of habit formation, I’ve finally found a system that is working for me. In this episode (Part 2 of our series on technology), we are moving past the philosophy and getting into more specific action steps. We’re talking about building friction, managing decision fatigue, and finding the "why" that actually keeps you away from the screen. In this episode, we discuss: * The Power of Friction: Lockboxes, website blockers, and "dumb phones."  * Beating Decision Fatigue: Creating a "Guidelines List" so you don't have to make constant difficult choices. * Drilling Down to Your "Why": Finding a compelling reason to change.  * Why adding fulfilling activities is better than just "stopping" (Shout-out to Cal Newport and his "Deep Life" work!). * Analog Switches: Why using tools such as paper planners, watches, and physical notepads helps more than we may have initially thought.  Timestamps:  00:00 Intro: The bold claim about ending screen time 01:10 Strategic Friction: Using lockboxes & blockers to break the habit 07:20 Ending Decision Fatigue: How to create your "Guidelines List" 15:39 The Deep Life: Why "just stopping" doesn't work (inspired by Cal Newport) 17:29 The Core Shift: Digging to your compelling "Why" 19:27 Analog Wins: The psychology of paper, pens, and watches 23:46 Join the Conversation: How to leave a voice note (SpeakPipe) 24:33 A Personal Note: Life update & why the schedule changed Resources and Episodes Mentioned:  * Changing Your Relationship With Technology (Part 1): https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/17789635 * Finding Purpose and Meaning: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/18932472 * How to Organize Your Mind: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/17960805 * Cal Newport’s The Deep Life Podcast: https://www.thedeeplife.com/ * Gretchen Rubin: Abstainers vs. Moderators: https://gretchenrubin.com/articles/abstainer-vs-moderator/ Leave a voice message here [https://www.speakpipe.com/pamelacarey] Newsletter sign up [https://www.pamcarey.com/subscribers] YouTube - channel  [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjptoOwpT_auMHKf0akGexw] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/immersion_podcast/] - we will be posting here soon

How Culture Changes Your Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness is a universal human aim, but what we believe makes us happy, and how we define a life well-lived, varies. In Part 10 of our Positive Psychology deep dive, we explore how cultural norms, language, and social safety nets dictate our personal views on flourishing. In this episode, we explore: * How cultural norms and language shape the way we express happiness. * Why a national safety net changes how we behave day-to-day. * The 6-D Model of culture - from uncertainty avoidance to individualism vs. collectivism  * Why some cultures prize "excitement" while others seek "peace." * Dialecticism: The unique ability to experience conflicting emotions simultaneously. * A Global Perspective: My friend Zad shares his story of a family spread across the globe and what flourishing means to them. * Cultural Evolution: How societies are changing and the nuanced exceptions to the models we study. Timestamps:  00:00 How do different cultures express / show happiness: Interview part 1 07:00 Affect Valuation: Why we want to feel what we feel 09:10 Dialecticism: Finding room for "Both/And" emotions 10:55 The 6-D Model of National Culture 15:35 Does culture shifts over generations: Interview part 2:  18:36 Global roots and the meaning of flourishing: Interview part 3:  21:30 The PERMA+ Recap: Building your own wellbeing toolkit Thank you to Zad for coming on! You can find more from him at his instagram: @zadbullfitness  Further reading available here: - https://geerthofstede.com/culture-geert-hofstede-gert-jan-hofstede/6d-model-of-national-culture/ - https://behavioralpsychstudio.com/what-the-heck-is-a-dialectic/ - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16536652/ Jeanne Tsai's research on AVT Leave a voice message here [https://www.speakpipe.com/pamelacarey] Newsletter sign up [https://www.pamcarey.com/subscribers] YouTube - channel  [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjptoOwpT_auMHKf0akGexw] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/immersion_podcast/] - we will be posting here soon