Ep 53 - validation roadblocks

Ep 53 - validation roadblocks

The skill of validation can be both incredibly useful AND really challenging to use interpersonally and with ourselves. My sister Ruth joins me for a conversation about what challenges she's encountered in practicing validation. We discuss some of the beliefs we grew up with around validation and problem-solve ways to remove those roadblocks. HELPFUL RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: DBT REFERENCES: DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/DBT-Skills-Training-Handouts-and-Worksheets-Marsha-Linehan-COMPRESSED.pdf] – online pdf version; DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets [https://44thand3rdbookseller.com/book/9781572307810] – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store! [https://44thand3rdbookseller.com/book/9781572307810] DBT HANDOUTS USED IN THIS EPISODE: General Handout 4 – Skills Training Assumptions; Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 17 – Validation; Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 18 – A “How To” Guide to Validation; Emotion Regulation Handout 5 – Model for Describing Emotions (alternate version: E Wheel) [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/resources/#ewheel]; Emotion Regulation Handout 6 – Ways to Describe Emotions; Distress Tolerance Handout 8 – Self-Soothing OTHER RESOURCES USED IN THIS EPISODE: Levels of Validation [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/resources/#validationlevels] Beliefs that Get in the Way of Self-Soothing [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/resources/#selfsoothe] How to Tell if You're Invalidating Yourself [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/resources/#invalidatingself] Examples of Validation Phrases [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/resources/#validationphrases] Biosocial theory graphic [https://static1.squarespace.com/static/668ad70da93f73799f38e676/t/67cf346db0674a594711d8ac/1762887817786/biosocial_theory.pdf] by Jesse Finkelstein Instagram @theaustralianfeminists: psychological invalidation [https://www.instagram.com/p/Ba_RSKiDtjN/] Instagram @hellothrivers: healthy vs toxic empathy [https://www.instagram.com/p/DQqBuB7j3P2] ——— More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/ [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/] Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen. Follow me on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/letstherapize], Twitter [https://twitter.com/letstherapize], Instagram [https://instagram.com/letstherapize], and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@letstherapize] Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon [https://patreon.com/letstherapize].

Ep 52 - actually helpful reasons to live

WARNING: If you or someone you care about is experiencing a mental health crisis and/or suicidal ideation, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline [https://988lifeline.org/] is available via call, text, chat, and with resources for Deaf/HoH folks. Please use discretion in listening to this episode. I currently do want to live AND there are times when I don't. I know that in those times, most of the things that people say in an attempt to be helpful actually ends up making things worse. So I thought it might be useful to have the version of myself who wants to live write a letter to the version of myself who doesn't, and include all the things that I think would actually be validating, useful, and hope-giving when I'm at my lowest. This episode includes the entirety of that letter. HELPFUL RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: Transcript of the letter [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/letter-to-myself/] Instagram post (caption): @CharlieMerril [https://www.instagram.com/reels/C6FO0g6MuHw/] ——— More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/ [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/] Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen. Follow me on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/letstherapize], Twitter [https://twitter.com/letstherapize], Instagram [https://instagram.com/letstherapize], and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@letstherapize] Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon [https://patreon.com/letstherapize].

Ep 51 - an insider's guide to DBT

Interested in DBT and want to hear about it from the patient's side instead of the therapist's side? You're in luck! I've done a variety of DBT skills groups and individual therapy, and have finally created an episode all about: what DBT is, who created it, what various DBT programs are like, and an overview of what skills are covered in the skills training manual. I also go over what I love about DBT and where it's gaps are. HELPFUL RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: DBT REFERENCES: DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/DBT-Skills-Training-Handouts-and-Worksheets-Marsha-Linehan-COMPRESSED.pdf] – online pdf version; DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets [https://44thand3rdbookseller.com/book/9781572307810] – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store! [https://44thand3rdbookseller.com/book/9781572307810] OTHER RESOURCES USED IN THIS EPISODE: NY Times article - Expert on Mental Illness Reveals Her Own Fight [https://web.archive.org/web/20220111065144/https://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/23/health/23lives.html] by Benedict Carey; Wikipedia article - Marsha Linehan [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marsha_M._Linehan]; Wikipedia article - Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy]; Wikipedia article - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy]; Book - Building a Life Worth Living: A Memoir [https://44thand3rdbookseller.com/book/9780812984996] by Marsha Linehan ——— More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/ [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/] Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen. Follow me on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/letstherapize], Twitter [https://twitter.com/letstherapize], Instagram [https://instagram.com/letstherapize], and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@letstherapize] Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon [https://patreon.com/letstherapize].

Ep 50 - hurting others & acceptance pt 2

My sister Ruth joins me for the second part of our conversation around accepting that she hurts others and others hurt her. We identified where she’s out of acceptance in episode 49, so in this episode we’re practicing acceptance of those things, step by step. It’s a lengthy process but we get faster as we go and she moves closer to accepting by the end of the episode! HELPFUL RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: DBT REFERENCES: DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/DBT-Skills-Training-Handouts-and-Worksheets-Marsha-Linehan-COMPRESSED.pdf] – online pdf version; DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets [https://44thand3rdbookseller.com/book/9781572307810] – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store! [https://44thand3rdbookseller.com/book/9781572307810] DBT HANDOUTS USED IN THIS EPISODE: Mindfulness Handout 5 – Taking Hold of Your Mind: “How” Skills * Non-judgmentally; Emotion Regulation Handout 19 – Build Mastery and Cope Ahead * Cope Ahead of Time with Difficult Situations; Distress Tolerance Handout 9 – Improving the Moment; Distress Tolerance Handout 11 – Radical Acceptance; Distress Tolerance Handout 11A – Radical Acceptance: Factors That Interfere; Distress Tolerance Handout 11B – Practicing Radical Acceptance Step by Step Distress Tolerance Handout 14 – Half-Smiling and Willing Hands Distress Tolerance Worksheet 9 – Radical Acceptance OTHER RESOURCES USED IN THIS EPISODE: Ep 29 – annoyance when skills work [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/episodes/ep-029] The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World [https://44thand3rdbookseller.com/book/9780062203571] by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu; The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power [https://44thand3rdbookseller.com/book/9780593329528] by Katherine Morgan Schafler; Instagram account: Christabel Mintah-Galloway [https://www.instagram.com/christabelmintahgalloway] on relational repair: ——— More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/ [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/] Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen. Follow me on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/letstherapize], Twitter [https://twitter.com/letstherapize], Instagram [https://instagram.com/letstherapize], and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@letstherapize] Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon [https://patreon.com/letstherapize].

Ep 49 - harming others & acceptance pt 1

My sister Ruth joins me to drill down to what she's not accepting around how she impacts others. Because she's not accepting that she hurts others, she's unable to repair relationship effectively. It takes quite a bit of testing various ideas to land on what lies at the root of her fear that she might hurt other people. But we find it! HELPFUL RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE: DBT REFERENCES: DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/DBT-Skills-Training-Handouts-and-Worksheets-Marsha-Linehan-COMPRESSED.pdf] – online pdf version; DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets [https://44thand3rdbookseller.com/book/9781572307810] – buy the manual from a Black-owned book store! [https://44thand3rdbookseller.com/book/9781572307810] DBT HANDOUTS USED IN THIS EPISODE: Mindfulness Handout 3 – Wise Mind: States of Mind; Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 17 - Validation; Interpersonal Effectiveness Handout 18 - A “How To” Guide to Validation; Emotion Regulation Handout 6 - Ways to Describe Emotions; * Shame; * Guilt; Distress Tolerance Handout 11 – Radical Acceptance; Distress Tolerance Handout 11A – Radical Acceptance: Factors that Interfere OTHER RESOURCES USED IN THIS EPISODE: Cognitive distortions [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/resources/#cognitivedistortions] The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power [https://44thand3rdbookseller.com/book/9780593329528] by Katherine Morgan Schafler; Characteristics of white supremacy [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XR_7M_9qa64zZ00_JyFVTAjmjVU-uSz8/view] by Tema Okun Radical acceptance comic [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/resources#acceptancecomic] ——— More resources are available at https://therapize.joygerhard.com/ [https://therapize.joygerhard.com/] Please rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen. Follow me on Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/letstherapize], Twitter [https://twitter.com/letstherapize], Instagram [https://instagram.com/letstherapize], and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@letstherapize] Like what you hear? Support me and this podcast on Patreon [https://patreon.com/letstherapize].