Exiting the spiritual community, embracing devil's work, & becoming a single mom forged a rich life.

Lost her brother before Christmas, her Mom, & 15 yr relationship! How she turned loss into new life.

Awhina Matthews-Egnot has lived multiple lives in one — personal training for 15 years, binge eating, bodybuilding, grief, identity collapse, becoming a single mom, losing her mother, and rebuilding a life that actually feels like hers. This episode isn’t “high vibe.” It’s real. It’s nervous system truth. It’s the kind of self-love that’s earned through radical responsibility — the kind that lands in the body, not just your notes app. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the “right” things… but your body still feels unsafe… or you keep defaulting to control, over-functioning, or self-sabotage… this conversation will hit. Welcome to Level Up with Rachel — with breathwork facilitator, retreat creator, and community builder Awhina. In this episode we get into: How grief shows up as control, food, overtraining, and “being fine” The moment Awhina realized her “discipline” was actually self-destruction Why breathwork works when talking doesn’t (somatic healing, no performance) Rebuilding identity after motherhood, loss, and separation Feminine flow + masculine structure (without the internet’s weird extremes) The real meaning of self-love: safety, action, and self-trust If you’ve been craving a deeper conversation about healing — not the aesthetic version — this one will feel like a homecoming. Chapters 00:00 Intro 01:05 Meet Awhina + her mission 02:08 Personal training, binge eating, body image + self-hate 03:23 The moment it clicked: “This isn’t normal” 04:05 NLP + childhood roots of the “void” 06:58 The first pivotal moment: losing her brother 09:02 Disconnection, coping, and pain stored in the body 11:40 Identity collapse: pregnancy + leaving the gym world 13:45 Losing her mom + rebuilding from the ashes 16:07 Separation + the deeper layer of healing 18:39 Surf retreats + HeartLED Collective 21:16 Self-love now: inner child work + taking action 25:25 Seasons, devotion, and going “all in” 27:07 Feminine/masculine balance in real life 35:54 Single mom life, friendships, and capacity 47:13 Safety, receiving support, and creating a new reality 50:15 Pushing through fear: the “waterfall” metaphor 54:20 Meaning of life Connect with Awhina: Website: https://www.awhinamatthewsegnot.com/ Instagram: @awhinamatthewsegnot Surf Retreats IG: Surf and Soul Adventures Community: HeartLED Collective (If you’re in Christchurch — go be in the room. Your nervous system will thank you.) Work & Connect with Rachel Explore Self Love Society membership, 1:1 Mentorship + ways to go deeper: www.levelupwithrachel.com Instagram & Facebook : @levelup_with_rachel If this landed, don’t just binge it, integrate it. Subscribe, comment what hit the hardest, and share this with the woman who’s been “holding it together” while quietly falling apart. — Rachel

From Drug Dealer to Future Psychologist: ADHD, Attachment Trauma, & Self Love with Josh Townshend

Josh Townshend has lived an entire lifetime before 30 — addiction, prison, infidelity, heartbreak, ADHD, and the collapse of every identity he built to survive. What happens when a man with that past becomes the one teaching men about attachment, self-worth, and healthy love? If you’ve ever wondered why you attract emotionally unavailable partners… why self-awareness alone doesn’t change your patterns… or why love feels safe one minute and threatening the next — this conversation will land. Welcome to Level Up with Rachel — featuring psychology student, men’s coach, and attachment storyteller Josh Townshend. Two humans, same medicine: self-love that comes through radical responsibility and nervous system truth. We get honest about: * The self-destruction you don’t notice until everything falls apart * Avoidant attachment disguised as “I’m fine” * Why vulnerability feels like a threat to the nervous system * The moment your body decides you can’t outrun yourself anymore And we go deeper into how ADHD, addiction, attachment trauma, and brutal self-honesty can open the door to true change — not the performative kind, the embodied kind. Inside this episode, we explore: *ADHD, addiction, and self-medicating from age 13 *When hyperfixation becomes a career in the drug world *Heartbreak, infidelity, and relational sabotage *Attachment styles in real life: anxious, avoidant, disorganized *Male victims of abuse — the stories society often ignores *Why owning your darkest truths creates the deepest healing *Generational trauma and nervous system wiring *Disorganized attachment: the push-pull that feels like love but isn’t safety *Emotional vs physical safety — and when it’s time to walk away *Healthy vs unhealthy anger, and how to regulate instead of react *What healthy relationship dynamics actually look like If you’ve ever loved someone who couldn’t love you all the way… If you’ve done “the work” but still lose yourself in relationships… If you’re ready to understand your patterns — and the men you choose — through a deeper psychological and somatic lens… This episode will feel like someone finally turned the lights on. If this landed, don’t just binge it — integrate it. Subscribe for more grounded conversations on self-love, nervous system healing, feminine leadership & embodiment, and emotionally healthy relationships. Comment what resonated most. Share this with someone who needs to hear a man speak honestly about accountability, attachment, and change. Connect with Josh Townshend: Podcasts: ‪@thesocialwildlife‬ [https://www.youtube.com/@thesocialwildlife] and The Love and War Podcast  Instagram: @townshendjosh + @thesocialwildlife + @theloveandwarpod Facebook:   / townshendjosh  [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqa0E1U1BERnBGSElLN0dEbnd2VVNWNS1GS29ZZ3xBQ3Jtc0tuUnhXNDBWMEVydVVEdDkxV085and2Rlo4T2xCa1ZGNGNFRFRHQVpXOWpDNkRmZmZLdHZ0OEdGOXAxWjl5cTFHM1VwYUpWOUdWcFdpVFZTOEhsVnhIS2E2SlktU0VpWDRMV3dyNWJpNnZhVzl2QWFXQQ&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Ftownshendjosh&v=sx_KxID5E5w] Website: www.townshendjosh.com Work With Rachel: Explore Freebies, Self Love Society Membership, & 1:1 Mentorship Website: www.levelupwithrachel.com Instagram: @levelup_with_rachel Facebook:   / levelupwithrachel   [https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbTdaenRhMTJmZ3BwZHQxVXVUVlVQMmFjTER2Z3xBQ3Jtc0tsWlpjV3FoYTladVp2alhXZ3MwNWE0Uy1EdVdrU00yOUlJb3JnYWxrcWt3eGRWa1EzLUVxSjhJWUFHVUNGVlVBZWRES2ViTzA1TWdKcU9tcjNHSFRJbHM3dFNpanRYakZpSXBfNVZfOXoyaGlIN05DZw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Flevelupwithrachel&v=sx_KxID5E5w]

Recovering overachiever. How numbing with food, alcohol, & exercise led to Cara's breakthrough.

Cara did everything “right” and still felt disconnected. If success hasn’t brought the fulfillment you thought it would… this conversation will land. Welcome to Level Up with Rachel — featuring Identity Transformation Coach, author, and keynote speaker, Cara Calvin. Two women, same medicine: self-love that lands in the body. We get honest about: - The hamster wheel of achievement -Burnout that looks like “discipline” -The terror of slowing down And what happens when your body finally says “enough.” We cover: nervous system regulation, numbing patterns, feminine/masculine polarity, releasing friendships, identity grief, and building a life that actually feels like yours. If you’ve checked all the boxes yet still feel like something is missing or off, this one will hit home. Regulate to receive. Let it be safe to soften and succeed. In this episode: *Corporate validation → rock bottom → realignment *Numbing patterns (food, alcohol, scrolling, over-exercise) and how to unwind them *The productivity = worthiness trap (and how to break it) *Nervous system safety: discerning fear vs. expansion *Feminine & masculine balance without the fluff *Grieving old identities and friendships — with integrity *Practical self-love: identity, values, tiny daily practices that compound *Spiritual activation: intuition, breathwork, energy work, past-life insights Who this is for: High-achieving, hyper-independent women who want depth, intimacy, and ease without losing their edge. Women who know they can’t keep powering through. Women who feel everything but rarely allow themselves to feel with themselves. Women who are ready to be held, nourished, and feeling alive in their body again. If this served you, send it to a woman who also needs to hear it. Like, comment, and subscribe for more conversations on nervous system wealth, feminine leadership, and relationships that make your life bigger. Connect with Cara Instagram: @cara.calvin @meon.nz @leadersinthelight Website: meon.co.nz [https://www.meon.co.nz/] Connect with Rachel Instagram: levelup_with_rachel Website: levelupwithrachel.com [https://www.levelupwithrachel.com/] ✨ Work With Rachel If you’re a high-achieving woman who’s done “the work” but still feels disconnected from yourself, your body, or your relationships — this is your invitation to go deeper. → Self Love Society: The membership for women ready to soften, receive, and reconnect to themselves in a real, embodied way. Join here: Self Love Society [https://www.levelupwithrachel.com/self-love-society] → 1:1 Mentorship: For the woman who is ready to step into her next identity while staying grounded in her body, relationships, and truth. Apply by clicking HERE [https://www.levelupwithrachel.com/coaching]

Exiting the spiritual community, embracing devil's work, & becoming a single mom forged a rich life.

Guest speaker Rachel Small from @raise.withrachel shares her journey of self love starting from the age of 14. Rachel Small desires to bring an awareness to different aspects and variable points when it comes to the depths of personal development. Follow Rachel Small on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/raise.withrachel?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZzRqbGV1MmxhMmo4]  Read more about guest speaker, Rachel Small and how to work with her here [https://linktr.ee/raise.withrachel?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=77658fb9-002c-4bec-9e12-97b41f15ca58] Read more about Rachel here [https://www.levelupwithrachel.com/] Follow Rachel on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/levelup_with_rachel/] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/levelupwithrachel/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@levelupcoaching-rachel115]

Healing isn’t meant to be done alone: Relationships, Sisterhood, and the Sacred Art of Self-Return

In this podcast episode, Serena Rose from @spiritualsexcoach on Instagram and Rachel from @levelupwithrachel on Instagram dive more into their personal experiences with different relationship dynamics, healing that's available in healthy relationships that you can't access in solitude, growth from choosing yourself, and navigating how to integrate what you learn. Serena shares her inspiring golden nugget she's never shared before on what's been the best thing to come from divorce.  Rachel shares the best thing she learned and what she feels is the deep underlying disconnect from women being able to fully surrender into their feminine energy.  Then they dive into learning the difference of intuition and fear.  How deep, healthy sisterhood friendships are not only life changing but are the key in learning how to have healthy relationships on a romantic level. Rachel gets emotional when sharing about how grateful she is for being able to hold and receive healthy sisterhood relationships. How one of her passions is to help every women on their journey to love themselves deeply in order to experience this level of deep love from others.  Serena shares how she navigated her recent break up and breaks down the differences of conflict based & solution based styles. They continue to dive into the nitty gritty of communication and why its crucial in any relationship.  They also go into what different trauma responses are and how they can show up in relationships. Which leads them into talking about how all this is tied to the intimacy connection in relationships.  Finally Serena and Rachel dive into how being single can be a really sacred time for not just healing but exploration of yourself on a deeper level. Follow Serena Rose on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/spiritualsexcoach?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==]  Read more about Serena and how to work with her by clicking here [https://www.serenarosejarvis.com/].  Read more about Rachel here [https://www.levelupwithrachel.com/] Follow Rachel on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/levelup_with_rachel/] Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/levelupwithrachel/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@levelupcoaching-rachel115]