The Male Loneliness Epidemic

The Male Loneliness Epidemic

This episode is about the male loneliness epidemic. I know. I spent about a month talking to men about it and kept noticing the same thing: you can't approach it directly. You have to come at it sideways, usually as a joke, which is both the only way in and the reason no one gets very far. What I kept seeing is that the joke is doing two things at once. It opens a door. But it also keeps that door from opening all the way. You can make it funny, you can build a whole podcast around the irony of the name, and still not quite arrive anywhere.

Everyone Else

Lilly talks to Lily Lady and Maya, two escorts who are friends, about the friendships that form when you already speak the same language. What it means to be in a hotel room with someone who knows exactly which hotel it is. What it looks like to work alongside a friend, and what you see when you do. Then Lilly talks to Jennifer Worley, author of Neon Girls, about the women she met at the Lusty Lady, a San Francisco peep show where the dancers organized the first successful sex worker union in the US and then bought the place. Jennifer didn't know most of their real names. Some of them she's still in touch with. The word that keeps coming up is civilians. As in, everyone else.

You've Been Selected

Ren found a friend application on Instagram at midnight, filled out all 40 questions, went to sleep at 2am, and a few weeks later got an email saying she'd been selected. Now she's back. In the first talk show episode, Lilly and Ren cover their friendship origin story, the experience of having a different personality in a second language, a karmic relationship that has not improved despite many talks, and two questions called in by listeners.

PUBLIC DISPLAY

Lilly records from bed to share what happened after releasing the podcast. Her 93-year-old grandpa refuses the friend project t-shirt because he needs to keep certain people at the veteran's home at a distance, her uncle won't even wear it to sleep, and a family miscommunication spiral ensues. Plus, the New York Times features her flyers but doesn't bring more listeners (just cosmic validation), Lilly realizes the flyers and podcast are an ouroboros of connection, and she announces a new monthly call-in show where you can confess your friendship crimes or just say whatever. Also, she has way too many XL and XXL shirts. Call (929) 454-5213 to leave a voicemail or submit at https://www.lillyfriendproject.com/friendship-submission [https://www.lillyfriendproject.com/friendship-submission]. #GrandpaKeepingPeopleAtADistance #UncleWontEvenSleepInIt #NYTimesButNoNewListeners #FlyersAreAnOuroboros #CallInWithYourFriendshipCrimes #TooManyXXLShirts #CosmicTapOnTheShoulder #TheShirtWasTooVulnerable

CONNECTION

In the final episode, Lilly tries to answer the question she's been avoiding: what is connection? She calls random people including a poet, her mom, a barista, a therapist, a Vegas wedding chapel, and accidentally interviews mayoral candidate Brad Lander on election day. After seventy questionnaire responses and twenty-four interviews, Lilly reflects on whether she actually made friends or just performed an elaborate art piece around her own loneliness. Plus, a Rumi quote about patience that initially pissed her off starts to make sense. #StillDontKnowWhatConnectionIs #VegasWeddingChapelWisdom #ElaboratePerformanceArtOrJustLonely #RumiWasRightAndItsPissingMeOff #FourHundredFlyersLaterStillFiguring