The Stories We Tell Ourselves

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

At some point, you decided something about yourself. Maybe you decided you were the difficult one, the responsible one, the one who doesn’t need much, or the kind of person good things don’t happen to. You probably didn’t make that decision consciously. It settled in quietly over time, until the story started to feel like the truth. In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW explore the stories we tell ourselves and how those inner narratives shape our relationships, choices, sense of worth, and capacity for change. Drawing from narrative therapy, existential psychology, Viktor Frankl’s idea of the space between stimulus and response, and the body’s role in carrying old beliefs, Christopher and Kenyon examine how these stories form, why they often begin as protection, and how they can become limiting over time. The conversation looks at confirmation bias, shame, people-pleasing, perfectionism, substance use, and the quiet ways a person’s life can become organized around a story they never consciously chose. The episode also offers a compassionate path toward revision: noticing the story, tracing where it came from, looking for the exceptions it leaves out, allowing the body to practice something new, and experiencing relationships that help you tell a different story about yourself.  To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.  Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform! Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

The Weight Men Carry with Jake Ross, MSW, LISW-S

There’s a version of masculinity that looks strong on the outside but feels like silent overload on the inside. In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW are joined by Jake Ross, MSW, LISW-S, a therapist specializing in men’s mental health, to explore the invisible weight that many men carry. Drawing from Jake’s work with outwardly functioning but internally overwhelmed men, the conversation introduces what Jake calls the “Man Plate”: an expanding set of expectations placed on men today that ranges from provider and protector to emotionally available partner, engaged father, and steady presence under pressure. Christopher, Kenyon, and Jake examine how boys raised to value toughness and silence often become men who are expected to be emotionally fluent without ever being taught the language. They also explore Jake’s Appalachian lens, examining how regional values such as resilience, responsibility, loyalty, and community can serve as powerful protective factors against isolation, stoicism, shame, and unprocessed trauma. This episode offers a compassionate look at fatherhood, anxiety, emotional suppression, and the quiet cost of saying “I’m fine,” while offering practical ways for men to name what they’re carrying, reconnect with other men, and begin sharing a burden that was never meant to be carried alone. To learn more about Jake Ross, MSW, LISW-S, visit the Ross Wellness Group website [https://www.therosswellnessgroup.org/] and connect with him on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/jake-ross-52918960/] and Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/therosswellnessgroup?igsh=MzZjMjdoaDFuZjVq].  To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.  Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform! Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

Codependency: When Caring Becomes Too Much

There’s a version of love where the appearance of devotion masks self-abandonment, and the line between two people becomes blurred beyond all recognition. In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW explore one of the most widely used and misunderstood concepts in modern mental health lingo: codependency. Drawing from its roots in addiction research and clinical experience, they examine how a term originally used to describe patterns in families affected by substance use has expanded into something far broader—and is often used to mislabel normal human connection as pathology. Christopher and Kenyon clarify the difference between healthy interdependence and true codependency, which they define as a pattern in which your sense of self, emotional stability, and worth become organized around managing, fixing, or controlling another person. The conversation explores how this shows up internally—from hypervigilance and guilt to losing touch with your own needs—and how these patterns often begin as adaptive responses to unstable environments. The episode also offers practical, compassionate guidance for shifting the pattern so you can reconnect with your own internal experience, practice detachment with love, and care for someone without losing yourself. To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.  Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform! Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

Gaslighting: What It Is and What It Isn’t

What if the problem isn’t just what’s happening in your relationships, but how those relationships are shaping your sense of reality? In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW break down one of the most overused and misunderstood terms in modern mental health language: gaslighting. Drawing from clinical experience and real-world dynamics, they explore how gaslighting is not a single disagreement or difference in memory, but a sustained pattern of manipulation designed to erode your trust in your own perception, judgment, and reality. Christopher and Kenyon unpack why the term has exploded culturally—highlighting both the relief it has given survivors and the confusion created by its overuse—while offering a clear, grounded definition that separates true gaslighting from everyday conflict, defensiveness, lying, or miscommunication. The conversation delves into the lived experience of gaslighting—from chronic self-doubt and emotional fog to the subtle ways people begin shrinking, second-guessing, and outsourcing their reality to someone else. It also examines where gaslighting shows up most often, including romantic relationships, families, workplaces, and even within oneself through patterns of self-invalidation. Most importantly, this episode offers practical, compassionate guidance for recognizing patterns, re-anchoring your reality, testing relational safety, and making decisions that support your emotional well-being—all while empowering you to reclaim your internal authority.  To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.  Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform! Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

The Trouble with Trauma

What happens when a word meant to describe something specific becomes the language we use for everything? In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW explore the cultural overuse of the word “trauma” and why that shift, while validating, can sometimes blur what people actually need. Drawing from clinical insight, they clarify that trauma is not just something painful, but something that overwhelms the nervous system’s ability to process in real time—often leaving the body reacting as if the event is still happening. Christopher and Kenyon break down key distinctions between single-incident, complex, and vicarious trauma, along with the spectrum of “Big T” and “little t” traumatic experiences—while also examining the risks of overidentifying with trauma as a fixed identity or applying it to ordinary human pain like grief or disappointment. The conversation highlights how unprocessed trauma shows up through reactivity, avoidance, and disconnection, and why real healing often requires body-based approaches, relational safety, and careful pacing—not just talking about the past. At its core, this episode is about precision, not gatekeeping—because when we can accurately name what happened to us, we have a better chance of finding the kind of support that actually helps.  To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.  Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform! Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.