Monday Morning Ketchup

You ever think about that phrase? "Comin' up the rear." Huh. After a long and well-deserved bout of almost-seasickness, the boys are back together and taking a trip down to the ketchup mines for that classic bout of weird business you know and love. More deep dives are on the way, but this week exploding VR headsets, 40 rotisseries chickens, excrement-covered British gimps, and racist horses will have to tide you over! Fun Fact: Napoleon Bonaparte was reportedly a huge fan of rotisserie chickens, ensuring his servants would be able to prepare and them to him 24/7. He's still got nothing on our Philadelphian hero! Email us! | mondaymorningketchup@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! | twitter.com/MondayKetchup Review us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts! Nothing helps us more than great reviews! Palmer Luckey Develops Lethal VR Headset Inspired By Sword Art Onlin [https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/interest/2022-11-08/palmer-luckey-develops-lethal-vr-headset-inspired-by-sword-art-online/.191682]e Hundreds cheer the red carpet eating of 40th rotisserie chicken, 'a part of Philly history' [https://billypenn.com/2022/11/06/philadelphia-rotisserie-chicken-walmart-pier-not-a-party/] Possible Native American burial ground exposed at Florida beach after Hurricane Nicole [https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2022/11/12/hurricane-nicole-native-american-burial-ground-florida/10674432002/] CREEPY BRITISH GIMP [https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1689606/Somerset-gimp-video-sighting-Cleeve-village] METH DONUT [https://www.dw.com/en/bavaria-police-find-crystal-meth-in-doughnut/a-63605930] Likened to KKK: Ghost costumes on Ohio police horses cause controversy [https://thehill.com/homenews/3715643-likened-to-kkk-ghost-costumes-on-ohio-police-horses-cause-controversy/] Woman Accused of Drugging Men Using Her Nipples [https://ugandaradionetwork.net/story/cctv-footage-helps-police-arrest-woman-drugging-men] JUST A FLORIDA MAN EATING CHEESECAKE IN THE EVERGLADES [https://old.reddit.com/r/FloridaMan/comments/yqixgu/florida_man_caught_naked_in_everglades_eating/] Florida traveler stuffed gun into a raw chicken and tried to bring it on the plane, TSA says [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/tsa-gun-raw-chicken-carry-on-bag-plane-florida/] --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/monday-morning-ketchup/message

Welcome to Ketchup Packets, a new Monday Morning Ketchup series where Mike and PJ take a deep dive into a singular bizarre topic. To kick things off we're covering the ancient and insane practice of animal trials -- the history, the philosophy, and best of all, all the absurd cases of animals being subject to the cold gavel of justice!  Email us! | mondaymorningketchup@gmail.com  Follow us on Twitter! | twitter.com/MondayKetchup   Review us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts! Nothing helps us more than great reviews! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/monday-morning-ketchup/message

To begin this week's Ketchup, a ball-dropping of epic proportions. Only we could go several weeks ignoring the biggest two bizarre news stories in the world: the left and the right one. With that podcasting crime rectified, we then move on to furry litter boxes, hot (and strong) youth pastors, Spanish bishops-turned-pig-masturbators, a HORRIFYING layering of contact lenses, emotional support alligators, and so much more! Fun Fact: "Interior Crocodile Alligator" has an actual place of origin, and it's this song [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIfSaDNVjXI]. It's a FREESTYLE. The line came from A GOD DANG FREESTYLE! My life has CHANGED FOREVER.  Email us! | mondaymorningketchup@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! | twitter.com/MondayKetchup Review us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts! Nothing helps us more than great reviews! HOW DID WE MISS THE BIG TIDDY SHOP TEACHER [https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/ontario-transgender-teacher-sparks-controversy-by-wearing-giant-prosthetic-breasts-in-class] SCOTTISH DOG SUICIDE BRIDGE [https://www.indiatimes.com/trending/human-interest/overtoun-bridge-dog-suicide-553059.html] Do you <3 hot youth pastors? [https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/pastor-who-gave-kids-i-%E2%9D%A4%EF%B8%8F-hot-youth-pastors-stickers-placed-on-leave/] THE FAT BEAR CONTEST WAS RIGGED [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/oct/11/alaska-fat-bear-week-voting-scandal] LITTER BOXES FOR THE FURRIES [https://www.kare11.com/article/news/politics/scott-jensen-repeats-false-rumor-about-litter-boxes-in-schools/89-f3f72174-db76-441b-95a3-9e73f4c239d0] Personal lubricant made from cow mucus may protect against HIV [https://headtopics.com/us/personal-lubricant-made-from-cow-mucus-may-protect-against-hiv-30737421] Spanish bishop who quit clergy to be with sexologist lover finds new job exporting pig semen [https://www.inentertainment.co.uk/spanish-bishop-who-quit-clergy-to-be-with-sexologist-lover-finds-new-job-exporting-pig-semen/] Man plays his saxophone through 9-hour, "very, very complex" brain surgery to remove tumor [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/saxophone-surgery-brain-tumor-italy-awake-neurosurgery/] Oil protesters arrested after throwing tomato soup at Van Gogh painting [https://www.cnbc.com/2022/10/14/oil-protesters-arrested-after-throwing-tomato-soup-at-van-gogh-painting.html] Doctor removes 23 contact lenses from eye of patient who 'forgot to take them out for almost a month' [https://news.sky.com/story/doctor-removes-23-contact-lenses-from-eye-of-patient-who-forgot-to-take-them-out-for-almost-a-month-12720149] Calls to feed contraceptive pills to aggressive seagulls are flawed, says BirdWatch Ireland [https://www.joe.ie/news/calls-feed-contraceptive-pills-aggressive-seagulls-flawed-says-birdwatch-ireland-756449] Pennsylvania man's alligator becomes emotional support animal [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/wally-alligator-emotional-support-animal/] Man, high on magic mushrooms, causes chaos on flight from Miami [https://www.local10.com/news/local/2022/10/10/man-high-on-magic-mushrooms-causes-chaos-on-flight-from-miami-prosecutors-say/] --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/monday-morning-ketchup/message

The Ketchup Gods are not always so gracious in their bounty. Weeks go by filled not with the thick, viscous and rich ketchup we take for granted, but the watered-down, swished around dregs that we must cling to in times of utter desperation. Sometimes, you gotta find the fun. And Mike and PJ sure found a lot of fun in this week's on-their-face-kinda-not-so-bizarre roundup of stories. Ready to sling some wein? Fun Fact: The federal government lowered the limit of fluoride levels in public water utilities in 2015, from a range of 0.7 to 0.12 milligrams per liter to a maximum of 0.7 milligrams. Admission of guilt? Or a subtle proof point that maybe fluoride isn't making everyone dumber? I don't know, but these chompers be sparklin'! Email us! | mondaymorningketchup@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! | twitter.com/MondayKetchup Review us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts! Nothing helps us more than great reviews! Mace Attack at Manhattan Subway Station Causes Mass Coughing, Vomiting [https://www.the-sun.com/news/6389953/panic-union-square-manhattan-unknown-substance-released/] 6 Women In Neon Green Leotards Attack 2 New York Subway Riders [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/green-goblin-gang-attack_n_633c763de4b04cf8f367684f] New York Man Charged With Putting Several Reptiles In His Pants [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/man-charged-snakes-in-pants_n_633f8696e4b0e376dc000a55] Bruce Willis denies selling rights to his face [http://bbc.com/news/technology-63106024] Disgruntled Tourist Smashed Two 2,000-Year-Old Statues in the Vatican Because He Was Denied a Meeting With Pope Francis [https://news.artnet.com/art-world/a-disgruntled-tourist-smashed-two-2000-year-old-statues-in-the-vatican-because-he-was-denied-a-meeting-with-pope-francis-2187060] Town employee quietly lowered fluoride in water for years [https://apnews.com/article/health-vermont-fluoridation-climate-and-environment-375fe7224a329bafb7a6dfa7480b5750] A Small Canadian Town Is Now the Home of a 17-foot-tall Cheeto Statue [https://www.foodandwine.com/news/cheetos-statue-cheadle-alberta-canada?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark] Climate protesters arrested after gluing themselves to Picasso painting at Melbourne gallery [https://www.perthnow.com.au/news/climate-protesters-arrested-after-gluing-themselves-to-picasso-painting-at-melbourne-gallery-c-8493041.amp] Vladimir Putin’s Two [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/vladimir-putin-birthday-gift-tractor_n_6340475de4b08e0e60784ebc]Birthday Gifts [https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/russias-ria-state-agency-reports-fuel-tank-fire-kerch-bridge-crimea-2022-10-08/] Jair Bolsonaro Would Totally Eat an Indian [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/oct/09/brazil-jair-bolsonaro-cannibalism-boast] Woman pays for "Russian astronaut" to return to Earth in alleged no scam [https://english.kyodonews.net/news/2022/10/f6ca132ade77-woman-pays-for-russian-astronaut-to-return-to-earth-in-alleged-scam.html] NASA Crashes Into Asteroid to Test Defense System [https://www.npr.org/2022/09/26/1124340144/nasa-dart-shove-asteroid-first-test-planetary-defense] Florida Man Rides out Hurricane Ian on Sailboat [https://www.naplesnews.com/story/news/2022/10/05/fort-myers-beach-resident-joe-wilson-who-rode-out-ian-his-boat-it-evil/8185553001/#l8wcpye2wd8nd1yow8s] --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/monday-morning-ketchup/message

What happens when you stuff two week's worth of ketchup into one show?  Bad things. Horrifying, emergent, potentially multidimensionally evil things... But also good things! Giant African land snail escargot... Robotrippin chicken... Clown wigs at Dairy Queen... and even COO cannibalism! All this, and somehow so much more, on this week's Monday Morning Ketchup! Get into it! Disclaimer: Not EVERY Latin family contains a Maria (at least one of us believes). Fun Fact: Pica is the term for a broad array of mental disorders associated with eating non-food objects. There are many "flavors" of pica disorder, such as Trichophagia (hair, wool, and other fibers), Cautopyreiophagia (burnt matches), Acuphagia (sharp objects), and Geomelophagia (raw potatoes) -- this last one just a general symptom of being Irish. Email us! | mondaymorningketchup@gmail.com Follow us on Twitter! | twitter.com/MondayKetchup Review us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts! Nothing helps us more than great reviews! DELUGE OF DILDOS [https://www.newsweek.com/avalanche-sex-toys-spill-out-highway-after-truck-flips-over-1743642] Chess grandmaster accused of using anal beads and artificial intelligence to cheat [https://wcyb.com/news/nation-world/chess-grandmaster-accused-of-using-sex-toy-to-cheat-win-against-worlds-top-player-hans-niemann-magnus-carlsen-anal-beads-cheating-ai-artificial-intellegence?fbclid=IwAR0DoskxW09hIZ8G65HgiKF1ymxTU3Y2I-MjATSaE4CzjG1hpWYmzABaoyo] The 9/11 Menu [https://www.tastingtable.com/1002358/a-restaurants-911-themed-menu-sparked-fury-and-disbelief/] LOAB [https://twitter.com/supercomposite/status/1567162288087470081] Irish Woman Swallows a Disturbing Number of Batteries  [https://www.livescience.com/ingestion-of-fifty-five-batteries-case] THE SNAIL EXPORT INDUSTRY IS ALIVE AND WELL [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/slime-trail-leads-customs-to-bags-93-giant-african-land-snails-duesseldorf-airport/#app] Armed PA man in wig trying to ‘restore Trump as President’ arrested at Dairy Queen [https://www.wearecentralpa.com/news/regional-news/armed-pa-man-in-wig-trying-to-restore-trump-as-president-arrested-at-dairy-queen/?10974] IGUANA BOUNTIES IN MIAMI [https://www.local10.com/news/local/2022/09/15/miami-beach-commissioner-thinks-putting-bounty-on-iguanas-could-curb-growing-population/] FDA warns of chicken ‘marinated’ in NyQuil TikTok challenge [https://www.wfla.com/news/national/fda-warns-of-chicken-marinated-in-nyquil-tiktok-challenge/] Beyond Meat COO arrested for biting man’s nose near Razorback Stadium [https://www.nwahomepage.com/news/beyond-meat-coo-arrested-for-biting-mans-nose-near-razorback-stadium/?utm_campaign=socialflow&utm_source=t.co&utm_medium=referral] Popular Food Truck Owner Accused of Luring Women Into a ‘Cult’ [https://www.thedailybeast.com/bad-rooster-popular-minnesota-food-truck-accused-of-luring-women-into-a-cult] A patient couldn’t pass gas or poop after a Florida doctor’s colon mistake, state says [https://news.yahoo.com/patient-couldn-t-pass-gas-172219361.html] --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/monday-morning-ketchup/message