#09-Turning 40: A Funeral, Love, Desire, and Finding Meaning

#11-You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Feel Worthy

You’re not broken. You’re just caught in a world that keeps asking you to prove you deserve love, rest, joy—anything. This episode is about that quiet, stubborn belief deep down: Am I really allowed to feel worthy? Even when I’m not perfect? Even when I mess up? I’ve often been seen as someone with high self-worth. But the truth is, worthiness isn’t something you “have” or “don’t have”—it’s something we build, slowly, from within. In this conversation, we explore: ● Why perfection is a trap ● How self-criticism creeps in from external judgment ● The difference between inner strength and performative confidence ● And how to develop a sense of worthiness that doesn’t rely on approval This isn’t about quick hacks. It’s about doing the quiet, honest work of meeting yourself—and deciding you’re already enough. May you walk your path with clarity, face both success and failure with compassion, and know that every step you take is worth it. 00:10 So... what is worthiness, really? 03:39 How our inner belief system and external validation are always tugging at each other 14:10 When you don’t feel worthy, it’s easy to get trapped in the illusion of being “perfect” 15:00 Truth is, the opposite of perfect isn’t failure — our obsession with “perfect” is often just fear in disguise 16:23 We mess up out there, and somehow start doubting ourselves in here 17:10 That harsh inner voice? Watch it. You have every right to ask for what you need 19:06 My “farewell ceremony” wasn’t really about the event — it was about the people who came together 24:29 Flashback to my Chaos Academy speech: the moment I took off my heels and finally got real applause 29:46 Feeling unworthy? Happens to everyone. Seriously. 32:37 About all that talk around getting thinner—do what feels good, aim for health, not just a smaller number 34:41 If it makes me happy and I can afford it (in every sense), I deserve it 39:20 Wanting approval in a relationship? Totally normal — and often tied to our sense of worth 42:50 Talk to yourself kindly. Feel your feelings. And let yourself be human 45:32 Go live. Go feel. Every moment is part of your story 46:53Take a closer look — especially when it comes to the hard stuff in close relationships 49:44 Worthiness vs. being a little too much — how to tell the difference? 50:24 See what’s really going on, face it head-on, then do the work to grow from it 51:23 The truth might stir the pot, but it also sets people free 56:07 Success, failure — they’re just pebbles on the path. Every step still counts BGM: It’ll Be Alright

#10-Living Several Lifetimes in One: My Time Management Philosophy

"What if your calendar could tell the story of your life? I once flipped through a year’s worth of my planner—365 days of scribbles, meetings, and little notes to myself—and it hit me: how I spend my time is exactly how I’m living my life. Your relationship with time is really your relationship with yourself. The way you see your current life shapes how you use each day—and how much control you feel you have over it. So today, I’m sharing my natural-flow approach to time management. No over-engineered systems, no color-coded chaos—just practical ways to reclaim your time and make each moment feel richer." What you’ll hear: 01:52 — How your relationship with time mirrors how you see your life 02:52 — Self-love in action: where your time goes, your life follows 04:19 — A fresh way to measure “wealth” — not in money, but in time 05:24 — Time’s double edge: healer and trap 05:57 — Seeing the present through a “countdown” lens 07:33 — Simple tools to keep your time from slipping away 08:22 — Locking in key milestones to anchor your year 09:24 — Why time, like any rare resource, needs its own hierarchy 13:00 — Planning around geography to save hours 14:27 — My 3-part formula for annual planning 15:59 — The “time-folding” trick for single moments 18:39 — Turning life’s “in-between” moments into gold — even mid-workout 20:26 — Knowing when to use someone else’s time vs. when they need yours 22:13 — Applying time management to your relationships 25:29 — Why we stay up late just to enjoy the quiet 32:00 — Using scent to ground yourself in the present 35:00 — Staying authentic without getting swept into group emotions 36:01 — The art of feeling “complete” in the moment 41:08 — Budgeting your year for learning, work, and play 42:27 — My “do-nothing” days — and why they matter 44:21 — Should you batch time or break it up? 46:23 — Looking beyond the 1-year frame to find deeper meaning 49:48 — Aligning your actions with your goals 54:07 — One year of podcasting: the feedback that keeps me going BGM: If I Could Turn Back Time

#09-Turning 40: A Funeral, Love, Desire, and Finding Meaning

January 2025 is a really special month for me — I turned 40. As this milestone approached, I found myself facing again the anxiety I felt at 29. Back then, I was lost, knowing I’d be entering a new phase at 30 but unsure how to do it. Eventually, I decided to start a business. Now, at 40, that same anxiety has returned — but this time, it’s about who I really am. I realize I’m going through a kind of “shedding” process. I’m no longer just thinking about business goals; I truly want to do something meaningful for society. So in this episode, I want to share my recent reflections on life’s purpose, love and desire, even life and death — hoping to bring you some new perspectives and feelings. 00:35 — Approaching 40, anxiety returns; 03:43 — Flashback to my lively, dramatic 25th birthday party; 06:26 — Gifts from friends pooled together; 08:01 — Inspiration from Wuzhen Theatre Festival — planning a “funeral” for my 40th; 11:19 — Destiny has reasons, but mastering yourself can raise your fate’s ceiling; 13:18 — Why is 40 called the “age of no confusion”?; 14:29 — Launching a “personal board meeting” for life; 15:57 — Exploring “how to use yourself”; 17:50 — Reflecting on my podcast’s original purpose and turning to social value; 18:04 — Why social purpose matters; 19:36 — Friend Tuobuhua’s poetic description of me; 20:25 — The vulnerability of crabs shedding their shells — a necessary growth process; 21:53 — How to reduce internal conflict — whoever apologizes grows; 22:40 — Growth is about self-awareness, not just learning skills; 23:03 — How to get along with yourself; 23:57 — Healthy relationships are between two whole individuals, not “finding your other half”; 24:42 — Loving someone without expecting anything back — but first loving yourself fully; 25:44 — Life driven by two forces: desire and love; 26:46 — Desire isn’t negative — it can bear good fruit; 28:50 — Facing and distinguishing your love and desire; 31:59 — Becoming an independent person; 32:36 — Pure love that doesn’t expect reciprocation; 34:19 — Experiencing “no-self” in religious practice; 36:35 — Being called “Yang Youli” (Always Right Yang) — but no arguing this time; 38:16 — Avoid comparing lives — everyone’s journey is unique; 39:43 — I’m neither arrogant nor humble — I want to be real; 41:38 — The inevitability of “darkness” in human nature — who are we really?; 45:10 — From “experience seeker” to “long-term thinker”; 48:27 — The beauty of life lies in its finiteness; 49:42 — Life’s richness comes from beginnings and endings, ins and outs. Background Music: “Beauty In The Mundane”

#08-When ‘Common Wisdom' Isn't Wise: Building Independent Thought

In our journey of growth, we often hear familiar Chinese sayings like "Failure is the mother of success" and "The boat will straighten when it reaches the bridge." These age-old proverbs made sense in specific historical contexts, but today, such "social consensus" can sometimes suppress our individuality and limit how we express our views. In this episode, we explore how to break free from these societal constraints when using these traditional Chinese sayings. We'll look at how to respect our own thoughts while also honoring the differences in how others understand the world — connecting more authentically with life around us. Join the conversation in the comments and share your unique perspective! 01:02 Why social consensus isn't always accurate   01:37 How common proverbs can limit personality and expression   02:09 "Failure is the mother of success": The original meaning of growth   02:40 Challenging the myth that suffering is required for success   06:20 How to develop a healthy mindset toward failure — effective review and reflection   09:37 The limits of "Nothing in the world is difficult for the willing"   11:22 Why cognitive ability often outweighs effort in achieving success   13:05 Finding what you truly excel at   14:21 Facing real difficulties without blaming yourself   15:43 Trusting your body more than your mind   17:59 How perspectives evolve through different life stages   19:51 "The boat will straighten when it reaches the bridge": Fate or active choice?   20:32 Choosing to do nothing can also be a thoughtful decision   22:04 How to manage crises proactively   24:41 Planning within your ability and using results to improve   26:40 On Qiong Yao's passing: Why "轻生" (undervalue or disrespect one's own life by choosing to end it) is a problematic term   29:45 Respect goes beyond politeness — it means honoring uniqueness in yourself and others   32:00 "Travel far and read widely": Nurturing your personality and emotions   33:50 "If you're upright, don't fear crooked shadows": Justice requires evidence and proof   35:19 How rumors spread and stir emotions — a natural part of human nature   35:55 How the information we receive shapes our crisis responses   38:14 "Business fails but friendship remains": Reflections on human relationships   40:14 Breaking free from ineffective socializing today   41:53 Protecting your core feelings in relationships is your right   44:34 The pressure of "Doing the right thing at the right time" as a social template   46:45 Everyone has their own value priorities — reducing the impact of groupthink   47:53 Much of our suffering comes from conflicts between desires and social consensus   48:18 Protect your energy — become the one who controls your life's direction   Background Music: "I Bet You're Cold"

#07-Facing Life’s Bugs Head-On: How a Strong Mindset Breaks Through and Drives Growth

In this episode, I dive into the “bugs” — those everyday glitches and challenges — that trip us up in work and life. Drawing from your questions and comments, we explore how to confront these bugs head-on, using a strong mindset to break through obstacles and grow. Here’s what you’ll hear: 00:10 — Bugs are just part of life; it’s how you fix them that creates the colorful moments you remember 01:22 — Q1: Feeling less fulfilled at work than in school? Here’s how to find real meaning in your job 02:39 — Build your sense of purpose from within, not by comparing yourself to others 03:37 — The thrill of new places fades fast — focus on what your current role truly needs from you 04:10 — Learn to focus your attention and say “no” when needed at work 05:48 — Understand your job’s full cycle to master how it really works 9:25 — Turn your work into a tool for self-discovery — know your strengths and weaknesses 11:36 — Use work to uncover who you really are 13:10 — Q2: Struggling to control yourself and stop procrastinating? You’re not alone 14:19 — Everyone has their own style of discipline — find yours 15:37 — Let go of what others think, and tune into what you really want 19:12 — Goals are everything; methods are just tools — find what works for you 21:23 — It took me 39 years to discover cycling — and the joy it brings 23:16 — True self-control comes from motivation, not just willpower 24:28 — Q3: How do you deal with goodbyes? Here’s how to accept them 25:48 — Fully accept yourself as just a regular person — life’s events are normal 30:19 — We’re the stars in our own stories, but just extras in others’ 30:40 — Change and uncertainty are just part of life 31:05 — Most pain comes from our own false thoughts 32:56 — Q4: Starting fresh in a new field? How to get up to speed and figure out if it’s right for you 33:18 — Find your ideal role model and learn their ways 36:22 — Identify what it takes to succeed in your dream job 37:30 — Learners master knowledge; earners master social savvy and flexibility 38:55 — Life’s a giant resource exchange — the rarer and more relevant your skills, the more you earn 41:08 — Build your unique strengths consciously as you grow BGM: Everything Must End.