S2E21 - How to Build Self-Trust When Life Falls Apart | Sarah Beaver on Healing After Divorce, Cancer & Life's Biggest Challenges

S2E21 - How to Build Self-Trust When Life Falls Apart | Sarah Beaver on Healing After Divorce, Cancer & Life's Biggest Challenges

How to Build Self-Trust When Life Falls Apart | Sarah Beaver on Healing After Divorce, Cancer & Life's Biggest Challenges How do you trust yourself when life feels like it's falling apart? In this powerful episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, Kaytlyn sits down with cancer survivor, podcaster, and retreat host Sarah Beaver to explore how self-trust becomes the foundation for healing during life's most difficult seasons. After navigating both divorce and a Stage 3 cancer diagnosis, Sarah shares the mindset shifts, daily practices, and emotional resilience tools that helped her move through uncertainty, grief, fear, and major life transitions with greater confidence and self-compassion. Together, they discuss why self-trust isn't something you magically find—it's something you build. Through journaling, meditation, community support, nervous system regulation, and focusing on what you can control, Sarah learned how to navigate adversity without losing herself in the process. Whether you're facing heartbreak, anxiety, illness, loss, uncertainty, or a major life transition, this conversation offers practical tools and hope for rebuilding trust in yourself, even when life doesn't go according to plan. * How to build self-trust during difficult seasons of life * Healing after divorce and major life transitions * Navigating a cancer diagnosis and recovery * Why focusing on what you can control reduces anxiety * Journaling as a tool for emotional healing and self-awareness * Meditation, resilience, and nervous system regulation * How community support helps us navigate hardship * Trusting your intuition during uncertainty * Holding multiple emotions at the same time * Finding meaning and purpose through adversity ✔ Self-trust is built before the storm—and strengthened during it. ✔ Healing doesn't mean avoiding pain; it means learning how to move through it. ✔ Anxiety often decreases when we focus on what we can control. ✔ Journaling and meditation can help strengthen emotional resilience. ✔ Community and connection are essential during life's hardest moments. ✔ Healing is not a destination—it's an ongoing process. "Divorce prepared me for cancer." "Feelings can be complex and dual in nature." "Healing is an ongoing process." Sarah Beaver is a cancer survivor, podcast host, retreat leader, and advocate for personal growth and emotional healing. Through her work, she helps people cultivate resilience, joy, and self-trust while navigating life's inevitable challenges. Instagram: https://instagram.com/sarahbeaver [https://instagram.com/sarahbeaver] Creating Sunshine Podcast: https://creating-sunshine-podcast.com [https://creating-sunshine-podcast.com/] Creating Sunshine Retreats: https://creating-sunshine-retreats.com [https://creating-sunshine-retreats.com/] Insight Timer Meditation App: https://insighttimer.com [https://insighttimer.com/] Anxiety or a Red Flag? A free DBT-informed guide to understanding relationship anxiety, emotional triggers, attachment wounds, intuition, nervous system dysregulation, and emotional safety. https://therapy-kay-2.kit.com/freebie [https://therapy-kay-2.kit.com/freebie] 00:00 Why Self-Trust Matters When Life Falls Apart 01:20 Cancer Diagnosis & Focusing on What You Can Control 02:45 Journaling as a Tool for Healing and Self-Trust 04:45 Meditation, Anxiety & Managing Uncertainty 06:55 Did Divorce Prepare Her for Cancer? 08:15 Sharing Her Cancer Journey Publicly 10:50 The Most Important Emotional Resilience Tools 11:15 Creating Sunshine: Finding Joy During Hard Times 13:40 The Power of Duality & Holding Two Emotions at Once 16:40 What Cancer Taught Her About Suffering 17:45 Helping Children Navigate Grief and Loss 21:00 Discovering Purpose Through Adversity 24:35 Community, Support & Finding Your People 26:50 Signs You're Building Real Self-Trust 30:05 What Healing Looks Like Today 34:00 Where to Find Sarah Beaver #SelfTrust #HealingAfterDivorce #CancerSurvivor #EmotionalResilience #PersonalGrowth #MentalHealthPodcast #GriefHealing #AnxietySupport #HealingJourney #WomensMentalHealth #LifeTransitions #TrustYourself

S2E20-Surviving Columbine: How Trauma Changes the Nervous System and What Healing Really Looks Like | Krista Hanley

Surviving Columbine: How Trauma Changes the Nervous System and What Healing Really Looks Like | Krista Hanley What happens to the nervous system after trauma—and how do you learn to feel safe again? In this powerful episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, Kaytlyn Gilner sits down with Columbine survivor, writer, speaker, and trauma-informed educator Krista Hanley to discuss the lifelong impact of trauma, PTSD, hypervigilance, emotional safety, boundaries, trust, and nervous system healing. Krista shares her experience surviving the Columbine tragedy and offers an honest look at what trauma recovery actually looks like years later. Together, they explore how trauma affects the body, relationships, self-trust, and the ability to feel safe in everyday life. This conversation dives into the realities of living in survival mode, finding the right therapist, rebuilding trust after trauma, somatic healing, self-defense as empowerment, and why healing isn't about becoming fearless—it's about teaching your nervous system that safety, connection, and trust are possible again. Whether you're recovering from trauma, navigating PTSD, struggling with hypervigilance, or supporting someone on their healing journey, this episode offers insight, hope, and practical tools for moving forward. * How trauma impacts the nervous system long after the event is over * PTSD, hypervigilance, and living in survival mode * Why emotional safety is essential for healing * The role of boundaries in trauma recovery * How trauma affects trust and relationships * Somatic healing and reconnecting with the body * Finding the right therapist after trauma * Self-defense, empowerment, and reclaiming your voice * Rebuilding a sense of safety after violence * Post-traumatic growth and resilience ✔ Healing is not about eliminating fear—it's about expanding your capacity for safety. ✔ Trauma lives in both the mind and the body. ✔ Boundaries are a critical part of nervous system healing. ✔ Trust can be rebuilt, even after profound trauma. ✔ Recovery is not linear, but healing is possible. "Healing isn't about becoming fearless." "Your nervous system learns safety through experience." "Boundaries are part of healing." Krista Hanley is a Columbine survivor, writer, speaker, trauma-informed facilitator, and violence prevention educator. She is the co-owner of We Are Safer Together, where she teaches trauma-informed safety, self-defense, empowerment, and violence prevention. Her memoir, How to Survive a Mass Shooting: A Columbine Memoir, explores the long-term impact of trauma, resilience, and recovery after surviving one of the most significant school shootings in American history. Krista Hanley: https://kristahanley.com/ [https://kristahanley.com/] We Are Safer Together: https://wearesafertogether.com/ [https://wearesafertogether.com/] Preorder: How to Survive a Mass Shooting: A Columbine Memoir https://www.motinabooks.com/book/how-to-survive-a-mass-shooting-a-columbine-memoir/ [https://www.motinabooks.com/book/how-to-survive-a-mass-shooting-a-columbine-memoir/] Anxiety or a Red Flag? A free DBT-informed guide to understanding relationship anxiety, attachment wounds, emotional triggers, intuition, nervous system dysregulation, and emotional safety. https://therapy-kay-2.kit.com/freebie [https://therapy-kay-2.kit.com/freebie] 00:00 Introduction to Krista Hanley and Her Work 04:18 The Impact of Columbine on Personal Safety 07:14 PTSD, Hypervigilance, and Survival Mode 10:37 Finding the Right Therapist 14:09 Trust Issues and Relationships After Trauma 18:14 The Role of Boundaries in Healing 25:51 Navigating Relationships and Emotional Safety 26:48 Somatic Healing and Nervous System Recovery 27:51 Yoga, Self-Defense, and Reclaiming Power 29:19 Finding Your Voice After Trauma 31:14 Empowerment Through Self-Defense 34:59 Creating Safe Spaces for Healing 37:46 The Journey of Recovery 38:59 Redefining Safety After Trauma 43:46 Advocating for Yourself in Health and Healing #TraumaRecovery #PTSD #Columbine #NervousSystemHealing #SomaticHealing #EmotionalSafety #MentalHealthPodcast #TraumaHealing #Hypervigilance #Boundaries #WomenMentalHealth #HealingJourney

S2E19-Anxiety or a Red Flag? How to Tell If Your Relationship Is Toxic

Anxiety or a Red Flag? How to Tell If Your Relationship Is Toxic Are you experiencing relationship anxiety—or are you ignoring real red flags? If you've ever found yourself overthinking texts, questioning your intuition, wondering if you're being too sensitive, or asking whether your relationship is healthy or toxic, this episode is for you. In this episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, MSW candidate and therapist-in-training Kaytlyn Gilner breaks down the difference between anxious attachment, relationship anxiety, and legitimate relationship red flags. Social media often labels every disagreement, uncomfortable feeling, or trigger as "toxic," but healthy relationships aren't conflict-free. The real question is whether there is emotional safety, accountability, repair, curiosity, and mutual respect. Drawing from attachment theory, DBT skills, nervous system regulation, and the work of relationship experts like Dr. Sue Johnson, Kaytlyn explores how to recognize unhealthy relationship dynamics without confusing anxiety for intuition. * The difference between relationship anxiety and genuine red flags * Signs of anxious attachment and hypervigilance * What emotional safety actually looks like * Healthy conflict vs. toxic relationship patterns * Why relationship repair matters more than perfection * How nervous system dysregulation affects dating and relationships * Trust, accountability, and communication in healthy partnerships * How to stop second-guessing yourself and build self-trust Is It Anxiety or a Red Flag? https://linktr.ee/kaytlynm [https://linktr.ee/kaytlynm] 00:00 Why Social Media Is Confusing Relationships 02:14 Red Flags vs. Relationship Anxiety 05:02 Understanding Attachment Styles 08:31 What Actually Makes a Relationship Healthy? 12:06 Conflict Is Normal—Repair Is What Matters 15:42 Emotional Safety & Nervous System Regulation 19:27 Anxious Attachment, Hypervigilance & Overthinking 23:11 Secure Relationships vs. Toxic Dynamics 26:48 How to Know If a Relationship Is Safe 30:15 Learning to Trust Yourself Again 33:04 Final Thoughts on Healing & Relationships #RelationshipAnxiety #AnxiousAttachment #RedFlags #ToxicRelationships #HealthyRelationships #AttachmentTheory #DatingAdvice #DBTSkills #EmotionalSafety #TrustYourself #RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealthPodcast In This Episode:Download the Free Guide:Chapters

S2E18- Is It Anxiety or Intuition? Trauma, Attachment & Relationships

Is It Anxiety or Intuition? Trauma, Attachment & Relationships #traumahealing #intuition #relationship #dating #anxiousattachment #attachment #nervoussystemregulation How do you know if it’s your intuition… or your anxiety talking?In this episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, Kaytlyn Gilner explores why so many women struggle to trust themselves in relationships, dating, and emotional decision-making — especially after trauma, attachment wounds, toxic relationships, or chronic anxiety.We discuss how trauma changes the nervous system, why hypervigilance can feel like intuition, and how societal conditioning teaches women to disconnect from their needs, emotions, and inner voice.If you constantly overthink relationships, question your instincts, struggle with anxious attachment, or feel trapped between “trusting your gut” and fear of overreacting, this episode will help you better understand the difference between anxiety, intuition, trauma responses, and emotional dysregulation.Kaytlyn also breaks down practical DBT-informed tools for emotional regulation, nervous system healing, self-trust, and accessing “wise mind” — the balance between emotion and logic.Topics Include:• Anxiety vs intuition• Trauma and hypervigilance• Nervous system dysregulation• Women’s mental health• Attachment styles and relationships• Emotional regulation• DBT skills and wise mind• Self-trust after trauma• Relationship anxiety• Healing anxious attachment• How trauma impacts perception• Women and societal conditioningRESOURCES:FREEBIE- DBT-Informed Guide: “Is It a Red Flag or My Anxiety?”https://linktr.ee/kaytlyngilnerDeepen Your Healing with the DBT Workbook:https://linktr.ee/kaytlyngilnerIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share with someone navigating healing, anxiety, attachment wounds, or relationship confusion.#anxiety #intuition #trauma #attachmentstyles #dbt #mentalhealth #relationships #healing #emotionalregulation #selftrust #podcast #womenmentalhealth #relationshipanxiety #notsodumbblondeCHAPTERS:00:00 Anxiety vs Intuition Explained02:11 Why Women Struggle to Trust Themselves04:37 Trauma, Hypervigilance & Relationship Anxiety07:22 How Trauma Changes the Nervous System10:08 Societal Conditioning & Women’s Emotional Needs13:02 Why Dysregulation Feels Like Intuition15:46 DBT Skills, Wise Mind & Emotional Regulation18:31 How to Rebuild Self-Trust After Trauma21:10 Practical Tools for Relationship Clarity23:42 Final Thoughts on Healing & Intuition

S2E17-5 Signs Your Teen Might Be Depressed & How Parents Can Help

5 Signs Your Teen Might Be Depressed | Teen Depression, Mental Health & Parenting Support How do you know if your teenager is struggling with depression — and what should you do about it? In this episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, Kaytlyn sits down with pediatric psychologist Dr. Jessica Rabon to discuss the warning signs of teen depression, how parents can support adolescent mental health, and why early intervention matters. They explore how depression and anxiety show up differently in teens, the impact of social media and COVID-19 on adolescent development, and how parents can create safer conversations around mental health. If you’re a parent, caregiver, therapist, teacher, or someone who works with teens, this episode offers practical tools, therapy insights, and mental health resources to better understand teenage depression and emotional well-being. Topics Covered: ✔️ 5 signs your teen may be depressed ✔️ Teen anxiety and behavioral warning signs ✔️ Parenting and adolescent mental health ✔️ How to talk to teens about depression ✔️ Suicide prevention and crisis resources ✔️ Therapy approaches for teenagers ✔️ The impact of COVID and social media on teens ✔️ Mental health support for families ⸻ ✨ FREE RESOURCES + LINKS ✨ 📌 American Foundation for Suicide Prevention https://afsp.org/ [https://afsp.org/] 📌 The Trevor Project https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ [https://www.thetrevorproject.org/] 📌 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline https://988lifeline.org/ [https://988lifeline.org/] 📌 Affordable Therapy Resources — Open Path Collective https://openpathcollective.org/ [https://openpathcollective.org/] 🎙️ Dr. Jessica Rabon’s Podcast — Psych Talk https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/psych-talk/id154123456 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/psych-talk/id154123456] ⸻ CONNECT WITH DR. JESSICA RABON: Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/jessicaleephd [https://www.instagram.com/jessicaleephd] TikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@jessicaleephd [https://www.tiktok.com/@jessicaleephd] YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/c/PsychTalk [https://www.youtube.com/c/PsychTalk] ⸻ ABOUT NOT SO DUMB BLONDE: Not So Dumb Blonde is a mental health and psychology podcast hosted by MSW student Kaytlyn Gilner, focused on trauma, relationships, women’s mental health, emotional regulation, DBT skills, and healing in a world that often tells women to shrink themselves. Subscribe for weekly conversations on: 🧠 Mental health 🩷 Trauma healing 🎙️ Therapy insights 👩‍👧 Family dynamics ✨ Emotional growth & relationships ⸻ TIMESTAMPS / CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Jessica Rabon 01:21 How Dr. Rabon Got Into Pediatric Psychology 04:10 Why Helping Teens Matters 05:20 Understanding Adolescent Brain Development 06:42 Parent-Teen Relationships & Therapy Dynamics 08:23 Behavioral Changes Parents Should Notice 10:32 Common Signs of Teen Depression 14:11 COVID-19’s Impact on Teen Mental Health 14:29 5 Signs Your Teen Might Be Depressed 19:24 How Depression Looks Different in Boys vs Girls 21:17 How to Talk to Your Teen About Mental Health 23:56 Therapy Resources for Teens & Parents 27:29 Effective Therapy Approaches for Teen Depression 30:39 Serious Behavioral Issues & Safety Concerns 34:04 Family Communication & Family Therapy 35:30 Teen Suicide Prevention & Crisis Support 40:01 Why We Need to Normalize Mental Health Conversations 42:20 Mental Health Advocacy & Crisis Resources 43:14 Final Thoughts on Supporting Teen Mental Health ⸻ #TeenDepression #MentalHealth #ParentingTeens #TeenMentalHealth #DepressionAwareness #TeenAnxiety #Therapy #Psychology #SuicidePrevention #Parenting #AdolescentMentalHealth #MentalHealthPodcast