EP 56: The Thought That Kills Confidence

EP 56: The Thought That Kills Confidence

Send a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2112885/open_sms] The fastest way to kill confidence is not failure. It is the moment your child thinks, “I better not mess up again.” That one thought shifts them from competing to protecting. And once they are protecting… performance drops. In this episode, we break down why kids lose confidence after mistakes and how parents can help them recover fast using a simple reset strategy. If your child struggles after missing a kick, falling behind in points, or making a mistake in competition, this will help. Inside this video: • The difference between competing and protecting • Why mistakes do not destroy confidence • The real reason performance drops mid match • The Three Rs reset tool • How parents should respond in the moment Kids do not lose confidence because they mess up. They lose confidence because they do not know how to recover. The good news… recovery is a skill. And it can be taught. If this resonates with you, start using the Three Rs at home and at tournaments this week. 🎥 Watch next: Martial Arts Mindset and Confidence https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNG9pziJ_TmsBwBNbodowNFbT_XOouiUj&si=g944N1Wk31VALgQY ============================= 📱 Subscribe to Off the Mat Podcast HERE: Apple → https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/off-the-mat/id1672160372 Spotify → https://open.spotify.com/show/17JWPk4LPRAyiXkyPWxHrD Amazon → https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/5eb5541a-ddf9-48b8-870e-eaace60ff7c8/off-the-mat Google → https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8yMTEyODg1LnJzcw ⏱️ Timecodes: 00:00 The confidence killing thought 00:27 Competing vs protecting 01:00 Why mistakes are not the problem 01:22 The Three Rs reset 01:35 Recognize the mistake 01:57 Release the tension 02:14 Refocus with one word 02:29 What parents must avoid 02:53 Why this matters beyond sport 📌 About Off The Mat Podcast We help parents and martial artists raise strong kids through martial arts and mindset. Our mission is to share lessons on confidence, discipline, and character that last a lifetime… on and off the mats. STAY CONNECTED Website → https://www.championtkd.ca Josh → https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/ Nicole → https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/ Email → championtkd15@gmail.com STAY CONNECTED WITH US Website | www.championtkd.ca Josh's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/ Nicole's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/ Email | championtkd15@gmail.com WANT A ICE BATH FOR HOME? Website | www.nurecover.com Use COUPON CODE | JOSH66116

EP 55: Your Reaction Becomes Their Inner Voice

Send a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2112885/open_sms] When your child makes a mistake in class, what you do next matters more than what they did wrong. Because your reaction… becomes their inner voice. In martial arts — and in life — kids aren’t learning just technique. They’re learning whether mistakes are safe. And when a parent’s face, tone, or sigh signals frustration, it quietly tells them: don’t mess up again. In this episode, I  break down how small parental reactions shape big emotional patterns, and how to build confidence through calm. You’ll learn: Why frustration teaches fear, not discipline The 5-second rule that changes how your child experiences mistakes How to model emotional control without losing standards Why “you’re good, next” is one of the most powerful coaching tools a parent can use How calm builds confidence that lasts beyond the mats If this helped you, hit subscribe — and keep learning how to raise confident, resilient kids through martial arts. 🎥 Watch next: For Parents: Raising Strong Kids in Martial Arts → https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNG9pziJ_TmtPAIOJr9RLanf-ALPJ_Wrr&si=mQIhTB2roAbrp3nF 📱 Subscribe to Off the Mat Podcast HERE: Apple → https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/off-the-mat/id1672160372 Spotify → https://open.spotify.com/show/17JWPk4LPRAyiXkyPWxHrD Amazon → https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/5eb5541a-ddf9-48b8-870e-eaace60ff7c8/off-the-mat Google → https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8yMTEyODg1LnJzcw ⏱️ Timecodes: 00:00 Mistakes are part of training 00:31 The danger of frustration 01:02 Why kids stop feeling safe to struggle 01:48 What “protection mode” looks like 02:18 The 5-second rule for parents 02:55 The power of “you’re good, next” 03:27 Teaching emotional control at home 04:01 How calm builds confidence 📌 About Off The Mat Podcast We help parents and martial artists raise strong kids through martial arts and mindset. Our mission is to share lessons on confidence, discipline, and character that last a lifetime… on and off the mats. STAY CONNECTED Website → https://www.championtkd.ca Josh → https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/ Nicole → https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/ Email → championtkd15@gmail.com STAY CONNECTED WITH US Website | www.championtkd.ca Josh's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/ Nicole's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/ Email | championtkd15@gmail.com WANT A ICE BATH FOR HOME? Website | www.nurecover.com Use COUPON CODE | JOSH66116

EP 54: The Car Ride Home Rule Every Parent Needs

Send a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2112885/open_sms] The car ride home is where confidence quietly disappears.  Not because your child failed…  But because the timing is wrong. After class, games, or tournaments, kids aren’t ready for feedback. Their emotions are high. Their nervous system is buzzing. And when parents try to coach in that moment, kids don’t hear help… they hear judgment. This is the car ride home rule for parents. And it’s one of the simplest ways to protect your child’s confidence without lowering standards. In this episode, we talk about why post-training feedback backfires, what sports psychologists say about emotional timing, and the three sentences every parent should stick to until their child is ready to talk. In this video, you’ll learn: * Why the car ride home is emotional, not teachable * How well-meaning feedback turns into confidence erosion * Three phrases that keep kids feeling safe and valued * When feedback actually sticks * How to hold standards without damaging the relationship Primary CTA: Watch this episode, then try the rule once this week… and notice the difference. 🎥 Watch next: For Parents: Raising Strong Kids in Martial Arts https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNG9pziJ_TmtPAIOJr9RLanf-ALPJ_Wrr&si=mQIhTB2roAbrp3nF [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNG9pziJ_TmtPAIOJr9RLanf-ALPJ_Wrr&si=mQIhTB2roAbrp3nF] =============================  📱 Subscribe to Off the Mat Podcast HERE:  Apple → https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/off-the-mat/id1672160372 [https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/off-the-mat/id1672160372] Spotify → https://open.spotify.com/show/17JWPk4LPRAyiXkyPWxHrD [https://open.spotify.com/show/17JWPk4LPRAyiXkyPWxHrD] Amazon → https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/5eb5541a-ddf9-48b8-870e-eaace60ff7c8/off-the-mat [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/5eb5541a-ddf9-48b8-870e-eaace60ff7c8/off-the-mat] Google → https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8yMTEyODg1LnJzcw [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8yMTEyODg1LnJzcw] ⏱️ Timecodes: * 0:00 Where confidence actually breaks * 0:23 Why parents coach too soon * 0:56 When feedback feels like judgment * 1:17 The car ride home rule * 1:25 Three things to say… only * 1:53 Why this doesn’t lower standards * 2:10 When kids can actually learn * 2:22 This applies beyond sports * 2:32 Protect the relationship first 📌 About Off The Mat Podcast We help parents and martial artists raise strong kids through martial arts and mindset. Our mission is to share lessons on confidence, discipline, and character that last a lifetime… on and off the mats. STAY CONNECTED  Website → https://www.championtkd.ca [https://www.championtkd.ca] Josh → https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/ [https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/] Nicole → https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/ [https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/] Email → championtkd15@gmail.com [championtkd15@gmail.com] STAY CONNECTED WITH US Website | www.championtkd.ca Josh's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/ Nicole's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/ Email | championtkd15@gmail.com WANT A ICE BATH FOR HOME? Website | www.nurecover.com Use COUPON CODE | JOSH66116

EP 53: How One Beach Lesson Changed My Coaching

Send a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2112885/open_sms] As parents, we think we’re just watching class. But our kids are listening… closely. What you look for in training becomes their inner voice. And that voice follows them long after they step off the mats. This episode came from a quiet moment on a beach in Mexico… and it turned into one of the most important parenting lessons I’ve learned through martial arts. Instead of scanning for mistakes, I’ll show you how to use a simple filter that helps your child build real confidence, resilience, and courage over time. Inside this episode, you’ll learn: * Why your attention shapes your child’s mindset * The hidden danger of focusing on mistakes * How effort builds confidence faster than talent * Why mistakes don’t matter as much as recovery * The three behaviours that actually predict long-term success This isn’t about more rules. It’s about choosing better lenses as a parent. 👉 Watch with this question in mind: What am I training my child to notice about themselves? 🎥 Watch next: Life Skills Through Martial Arts https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNG9pziJ_Tmu0SAoRn5_T9xSNAm2AsTcp&si=jnwiEufwxYd1ZeUp [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNG9pziJ_Tmu0SAoRn5_T9xSNAm2AsTcp&si=jnwiEufwxYd1ZeUp] ============================= 📱 Subscribe to Off the Mat Podcast HERE: Apple → https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/off-the-mat/id1672160372 [https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/off-the-mat/id1672160372] Spotify → https://open.spotify.com/show/17JWPk4LPRAyiXkyPWxHrD [https://open.spotify.com/show/17JWPk4LPRAyiXkyPWxHrD] Amazon → https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/5eb5541a-ddf9-48b8-870e-eaace60ff7c8/off-the-mat [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/5eb5541a-ddf9-48b8-870e-eaace60ff7c8/off-the-mat] Google → https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8yMTEyODg1LnJzcw [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8yMTEyODg1LnJzcw] ⏱️ Timecodes 00:00 The beach lesson I didn’t expect 00:38 What changes when you get closer 01:12 Parenting works the same way 01:48 Why kids hear mistakes louder 02:04 The Three Shells filter 02:10 Shell 1: Effort 02:40 Shell 2: Reset 03:12 Shell 3: Bravery 03:42 The voice you’re creating 📌 About Off The Mat Podcast We help parents and martial artists raise strong kids through martial arts and mindset. Our mission is to share lessons on confidence, discipline, and character that last a lifetime… on and off the mats. STAY CONNECTED Website → https://www.championtkd.ca [https://www.championtkd.ca/] Josh → https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/ [https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/] Nicole → https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/ [https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/] Email → championtkd15@gmail.com [championtkd15@gmail.com] STAY CONNECTED WITH US Website | www.championtkd.ca Josh's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/ Nicole's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/ Email | championtkd15@gmail.com WANT A ICE BATH FOR HOME? Website | www.nurecover.com Use COUPON CODE | JOSH66116

EP 52: Discipline Is Decided in Advance

Send a text [https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/2112885/open_sms] Discipline isn’t about trying harder.  It’s about deciding earlier. Most parents aren’t dealing with lazy kids.  They’re dealing with daily negotiations that quietly drain consistency. When kids are asked to decide based on how they feel, the answer usually leans toward comfort. Screens. Couches. Skipping. That’s not a flaw. That’s human nature. In this episode, we break down how discipline for kids is built when decisions are made in advance, not debated in the moment. This simple shift removes emotional tug-of-wars and replaces them with calm, clarity, and follow-through. In this video, you’ll learn: * Why asking “Do you want to go?” creates resistance * How routine actually builds energy, not burnout * The role identity plays in confidence and consistency * Why preparation the night before matters more than motivation * A simple phrase that removes daily negotiations When kids hear “this is just what we do,” something changes.  Training stops being optional.  Discipline becomes part of who they are. 👉 Join our Off The Mat school community for deeper tools on discipline, confidence, and consistency: https://www.skool.com/off-the-mat-2701/about?ref=8abd7605a9694f68bcb79a2d393c903a [https://www.skool.com/off-the-mat-2701/about?ref=8abd7605a9694f68bcb79a2d393c903a] 🎥 Watch next: For Parents: Raising Strong Kids in Martial Arts https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNG9pziJ_TmtPAIOJr9RLanf-ALPJ_Wrr&si=mQIhTB2roAbrp3nF [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNG9pziJ_TmtPAIOJr9RLanf-ALPJ_Wrr&si=mQIhTB2roAbrp3nF] =============================  📱 Subscribe to Off the Mat Podcast HERE:  Apple → https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/off-the-mat/id1672160372 [https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/off-the-mat/id1672160372] Spotify → https://open.spotify.com/show/17JWPk4LPRAyiXkyPWxHrD [https://open.spotify.com/show/17JWPk4LPRAyiXkyPWxHrD] Amazon → https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/5eb5541a-ddf9-48b8-870e-eaace60ff7c8/off-the-mat [https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/5eb5541a-ddf9-48b8-870e-eaace60ff7c8/off-the-mat] Google → https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8yMTEyODg1LnJzcw [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8yMTEyODg1LnJzcw] ⏱️ Timecodes * 0:00 Discipline isn’t trying harder * 0:32 The hidden cost of negotiating * 1:02 Why feelings can’t lead decisions * 1:30 When the decision is already made * 1:47 Preparation kills resistance * 2:18 Why offering an out backfires * 2:46 Identity builds confidence * 2:55 One sentence that changes everything 📌 About Off The Mat Podcast We help parents and martial artists raise strong kids through martial arts and mindset. Our mission is to share lessons on confidence, discipline, and character that last a lifetime… on and off the mats. STAY CONNECTED  Website → https://www.championtkd.ca [https://www.championtkd.ca] Josh → https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/ [https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/] Nicole → https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/ [https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/] Email → championtkd15@gmail.com STAY CONNECTED WITH US Website | www.championtkd.ca Josh's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/josh.dumoulin/ Nicole's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/nicole99kicks/ Email | championtkd15@gmail.com WANT A ICE BATH FOR HOME? Website | www.nurecover.com Use COUPON CODE | JOSH66116