Conditioning: The Things We Never Thought to Question

Conditioning: The Things We Never Thought to Question

Episode 8: In this episode, we dive headfirst into the invisible scripts running our lives — the ones we didn’t choose, didn’t question, and in many cases, didn’t even realise were optional. Not just what we’ve been taught to do and think — but the deeper, sneakier layer: What have we been taught is simply not up for debate? The difference between “I chose this” and “it never occurred to me not to.” We walk through the classic checklist: Get married, have a baby, have another baby - because that is an obvious expectation, as Selin knows all too well. The disorienting (and occasionally liberating) moment when you see someone choose differently, and realize, "Wait - you can just...DO THAT?" We also explore the subtle (and not-so-subtle) conditioning around what men and women are “supposed” to know and be.  And what happens when you underestimate a woman in a Star Wars trivia contest. This is a midlife reckoning of all the things we sleepwalked into without even thinking about it. Selin's recommendation: Jono Lancaster www.instagram.com/jonolanc [http://www.instagram.com/jonolanc] Heather's recommendation: Slash: The Autobiography Links  Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast]  Selin’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens [https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens]  Heather’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab [https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab]  Heather’s Substack: https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites [https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites]

Does Marriage Still Make Sense?

Episode 7: Does Marriage Still Make Sense? This week on Only Gets Better, we’re talking about marriage. Which is funny, because Selin is… happily married, and yet, she’s also the one asking all the questions. So, we follow that curiosity — not about her relationship, but about the whole idea of marriage. What it is, what it’s become, and why we don’t really question it as much as we probably should. We get into: * Sleepwalking into things that society expects of us. * Not being terribly cool with the government having a say in when we end a relationship, or that marriage began as a contract between men. * How people react when you don’t follow the expected script. We also talk about the divorce rate — and yes, we’re calling it a positive. Not because divorce is easy or something to aim for… but because it means women have choices. And before you think we're complete cynics (looking at you, Heather) we do discuss the romance part, too. This one is a deep dive from two different perspectives and we have a few laughs along the way, as always. Selin's recommendation:We Don't Have Time For This - Podcast - Apple Podcasts [https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/we-dont-have-time-for-this/id1544178687] Links  Podcast Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast]  Selin’s Insta: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens]  Heather’s Insta: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab]  Heather’s Substack: ⁠⁠https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites⁠⁠ [https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites]

What Are You Looking Forward To?

Episode 6: This one is exactly what it says on the tin. We are certain that it only gets better, and we discuss what we're looking forward to in life - after a brief (and on-brand) detour into Heather's latest head injury. We share what we're finding about the next stage so far: that it's knowing yourself, deeper friendships, more freedom, and far less worrying about what other people think (especially once you realise they’re not thinking about you at all). We talk about moving past our own conditioning and being constantly needed to uncover the creativity, hobbies, travel, and independence that are waiting for us. If you’re getting through the days one coffee at a time, this episode is proof that the fun part is still ahead — and yes, it only gets better. Selin's recommendation: Mel Robbins book, The Let Them Theory. Heather's recommendation: Thomas Sainsbury on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thomassainsbury Links  Podcast Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast]  Selin’s Insta: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens]  Heather’s Insta: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab]  Heather’s Substack: ⁠https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites⁠ [https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites]

Inside the Manosphere: We Laugh, We Recoil, and We Recover with a Palate Cleanse of Good Men.

Episode 5: This week we dive into the Netflix documentary Inside the Manosphere and explore the bizarre, bleak, and unintentionally comedic world of manosphere influencers - the self‑proclaimed “alphas” shouting into ring lights, and the grifters selling confidence in 12 easy payments.  We give the topic the seriousness it deserves while still keeping our sense of humour intact, because if you can’t laugh at a man roasting in a tight suit, performing dominance theatre beside a leased sports car, then really… why are we here.  We break down how this ecosystem works — all while laughing just enough to keep from screaming into the void. Then we cleanse our palates with men who actually deserve attention, including everyone's favourite, Robert Irwin. We discuss our plan to clone him (ethically… probably) and share some recent encounters with genuinely good young men that left us feeling surprisingly hopeful about the future. If you’re curious about toxic masculinity, influencer culture, or just want to hear us roast the manosphere while finding reasons to believe humanity isn’t doomed, this episode is for you. Selin's recommendations:  Jordan Stephens podcast: WHOLE TRUTH with Jordan Stephens | Podcast on Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/show/5BNHb0Gyzqs87CevYJuBZB] Will Hitchins:  www.instagram.com/willhitchins [http://www.instagram.com/willhitchins] Heather's recommendation: Watch The Last Kingdom | Netflix Official Site [https://www.netflix.com/au/title/80074249]  Links  Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast]  Selin’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens [https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens]  Heather’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab [https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab]  Heather’s Substack: https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites [https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites]

Mental Load: And Why We’d All Be Thriving If We Had Wives Like Us

Episode 4: We tackle the mother of all mother issues: mental load — the invisible, relentless cognitive labour that keeps families, households, and lives running smoothly… and that women somehow still carry almost entirely alone. We go beyond the tired “men just don’t notice things” explanation (though yes, that too), and dig into the deeper systems that make mental load so stubbornly gendered. We talk about: - Why women end up carrying the mental load even in loving, progressive relationships - The difference between the default parent and the opt‑in parent (and why that single distinction explains so much) - How astonishingly successful most women would be if they had partners who managed life the way they do - Why the problem isn’t individual men so much as a culture that quietly assigns responsibility without consent - And the single, surprisingly radical thing we can do to bring down the patriarchy. Yes, we’re serious. And yes, we’re laughing. This conversation is part therapy session, part sociological deep‑dive, and part love letter to the women holding twenty tabs open in their heads at all times. Come for the validation. Stay for the jokes. Leave feeling seen, slightly furious, and maybe just a little freer. Selin's rec: Yumi Stynes Ladies, We Need To Talk | Podcast on Spotify Links  Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/onlygetsbetterpodcast]  Selin’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens [https://www.instagram.com/littlefacelens]  Heather’s Insta: https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab [https://www.instagram.com/progression_lab]  Heather’s Substack: https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites [https://substack.com/@heatherpatersonwrites]