She Found Me: One mother's story of adoption, Down syndrome, and love that defied the plan | Parenthoot Spotlight

#67: Building Brands, Raising Babies, and Losing Yourself: Maya Varma on Entrepreneurial Motherhood

In this episode, Neha sits down with Maya Varma – entrepreneur, co-founder and Chief Brand & Product Officer of fashion labels Joker & Witch and Teejh – for a conversation that is equal parts raw and revelatory. Maya and her husband Satish built two thriving brands together, raised a few dogs, and then in 2020, in the middle of a pandemic, had their son Vivaan. What followed was a reckoning – with identity, with partnership, with anger she didn't recognise as her own, and with a version of motherhood nobody had prepared her for. This episode traces that entire arc: the early euphoria of building together, the slow erosion of boundaries between work and marriage, the postpartum haze, the resentment, the therapy, and the ongoing, imperfect journey back to herself. Why You Should Listen If you are a mother who has ever felt like the invisible load is entirely yours – the night feeds, the googling, the logistics, the emotional labour – this episode will feel like someone finally said it out loud. Maya doesn't perform healing. She talks about the cycles of fight and cold war, the anger that landed on her child and scared her, the solo trip to Delhi where she slept eight hours straight and called it a luxury. She talks about what it actually takes to work on a marriage after a decade, what individual therapy did that couples therapy couldn't, and why asking for help is not defeat – it's the only way through. If you are building something while raising someone, this one's for you. Practical Takeaways * Start a memory draft. Maya has kept a running draft email since Vivaan was five months old – milestones, first words, funny moments, things she'll miss. A low-effort, high-return ritual any parent can begin today. * Solo travel, even briefly, counts. A two-day work trip to Delhi where Maya slept uninterrupted became her first real reset. You don't need a retreat – you need a night that belongs only to you. * Individual therapy before couples therapy. Maya found that working inward first – understanding her own triggers, expectations, and patterns – made everything else more possible. * Bring your child into your workspace if you can. Maya set up a nursery corner in their office, breastfed during breaks, and let Vivaan grow up around the team and dogs. It's not for everyone, but it dissolved the guilt of the binary choice. Resources & References * Joker & Witch: Maya's fashion jewellery label, known for bold, story-led design. jokerandwitch.com [https://www.jokerandwitch.com/] * Teejh: Maya's second label, focused on contemporary Indian jewellery. teejh.com [https://www.teejh.com/] * On postpartum depression and mood changes: Many mothers go undiagnosed for years. If Maya's experience resonates, the iCall helpline (India) offers accessible mental health support: icallhelpline.org [https://icallhelpline.org/] * On entrepreneurial loneliness: Paul Graham's essay "How to Do What You Love" and the broader canon around founder mental health speak to the isolation Maya describes. About the Guest Maya Varma is the co-founder and Chief Brand & Product Officer of Joker & Witch and Teejh, two of India's most distinctive fashion jewellery labels. She built both brands alongside her husband and business partner Satish, whom she met in 2013 and married in 2015. A self-described creative, passionate, and deeply grounded person, Maya draws on her Kerala roots, her love of nature, and a finely tuned instinct for design and people. She is also a mother to five-year-old Vivaan and to three dogs – and is, by her own admission, still figuring it all out. Follow Maya on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/kmayavarma/] --- Enjoyed this episode? Share it with someone who needs to hear it. Follow Parenthoot on your favourite podcast platform and leave a review if this conversation stayed with you.  ☕ Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.

#66: Vivitsa Kohli on Unplanned Pregnancy, Ambition, and Retrieving Yourself After Motherhood

Vivitsa Kohli is a potter, business owner, and mother to Maitreya, born in 2023. She describes herself as ambitious, calculative, disciplined — and not particularly fond of unplanned things. Which makes an unplanned pregnancy quite the plot twist. In this episode, Vivitsa speaks with rare, unmasked honesty about first trimester depression, the deep physical and emotional inequity of pregnancy, the anger she felt at having to sacrifice more than her partner ever could, and the long wait before she actually began to enjoy her child. She also talks about protecting her ambition with zero apology, navigating an equal marriage that comes with its own flavour of conflict, and the slow, quiet process of retrieving herself as her son Maitreya grew into a talking, laughing, chaos-causing toddler. Why You Should Listen If you have ever felt angry during pregnancy and didn't know where to put it — this episode is for you. If you've waited longer than felt acceptable to enjoy your baby — this episode is for you. If you're an ambitious woman trying to hold your work, your identity, and your child all at once — Vivitsa sees you, names it, and refuses to apologise for any of it. Notable Quotes * "There was a very deep sense of this is unfair. This is unequal. There is never going to be anything that this person can do that would balance it." * "That unfairness of that pregnancy made me shamelessly ask for help." * "Vivitsa Kohli as a human being is not really here anymore. It's Vivitsa Kohli the mom who tries to do other things also." * "Moms just give up, bro. They give up their selves and lives. They just have to." Practical Takeaways * Asking for help is not weakness. For Vivitsa, the inequity of pregnancy became the very thing that broke open her resistance to asking. Shamelessly and specifically. * Adapting ambition is not abandoning it. She didn't give up her work — she recalibrated expectations, leaned on her support network, and protected even 40% of her vision. The vision stayed alive. * Not enjoying your newborn is more common than anyone admits. Vivitsa was candid that enjoyment came almost two years in, when Maitreya began to talk. There is no universal timeline for falling in love with early motherhood. * Equal partnerships require more negotiation, not less. Shared control means shared conflict. Learning to ask for what you need without leading with complaint is its own skill — one she's still building. * Morning time is a lifeline. Four to five hours of kindergarten in the morning changed everything for Vivitsa — yoga, work, creative time, and the ability to show up as a mother for the rest of the day. About Vivitsa Kohli Vivitsa Kohli is a potter and business owner currently based in Israel with her partner Constantine and their son Maitreya. Her work as a maker is instinct-led and tactile — she creates because she cannot not create. She is currently working on expanding her studio practice and her India-based business operations. Follow Vivitsa on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/vivikoh.studio/] --- Enjoyed this episode? Share it with someone who needs to hear it. Follow Parenthoot on your favourite podcast platform and leave a review if this conversation stayed with you. ☕ Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.

#65: Worth The Wait: One Woman's Journey Through Infertility, Unexpected Pregnancies and a Partnership Built to Last

In this deeply personal episode, Neha sits down with Snigdha Ghosh Roy — digital marketing entrepreneur, mother of two, dog parent to Fang, and partner of fifteen years to Tushar Das. Snigdha's story is not a straight line. It winds through eight years of infertility treatment, a deliberate decision to stop, adoption registration, two completely unexpected natural pregnancies, pandemic parenthood, and the quiet daily work of building a marriage between two people who are, by every measure, poles apart. What holds it all together, she says, is one word: acceptance. Not resignation — acceptance. This episode is about what that actually looks like in practice. Why You Should Listen If you have ever felt like your life is moving sideways when everyone else seems to be moving forward — this one is for you. Snigdha speaks with rare candour about infertility's isolation, the sunk cost trap of repeated treatments, what a miscarriage feels like when no one around you has the vocabulary for it, and how she and Tushar found their footing not in spite of their differences but because of the work they did around them. She also talks about what it means to parent with intention — firmly, warmly, and without making your children into projects. Notable Quotes * "Acceptance is not resignation. Acceptance is understanding and absorbing the person or the situation as they are, before you can do anything about it." * "My life revolved around these cycles and these injections. And then they tell you the dates when you need to try. It's God awful. It's disgusting after a while." * "I was so broken that I didn't cry. It was more a loss of hope. It was deeper than tears." * "We talk about love language. We never talk about the fight language. It took me years to understand how important it is to fight, to confront, to resolve." * "Children need more space than we admit. They don't need to be projects. The easiest way for them to have what you want them to have is to let them observe that." Practical Takeaways * Name the fight language. In calm moments, tell your partner what you need when you're upset — what the indicators are, when to give space, when to step in. Don't assume they'll read the room. * Let the village be messy. Different caregivers, different rules. Rather than enforcing uniformity, Snigdha teaches her children that every person has different preferences — and that's not confusion, that's emotional intelligence. * Know when to stop. Whether it's a treatment cycle or an argument — recognising your limit is not failure. It is self-knowledge. * Appreciate out loud. Snigdha makes it a point to tell Tushar, specifically and regularly, what she values about him. She believes men are rarely on the receiving end of that, and it matters. Resources & References * CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority) — India's nodal body for adoption. If you are considering adoption, this is where the process begins. cara.nic.in * iCall, TISS — Free and low-cost mental health support, including for infertility-related grief and pregnancy loss. icallhelpline.org * The Infertility Project (Instagram: @theinfertilityproject) — Community-led conversations around infertility in India. * Fang — A Labrador Retriever and, as Snigdha puts it, the one who started it all. About the Guest Snigdha Ghosh Roy is a digital marketing and content entrepreneur based in Delhi NCR. She has built her professional life around work she genuinely loves, from home, on her own terms. She is mother to Fang (Lab, first child, non-negotiable) and two humans born sixteen months apart during the pandemic. She has been with her partner Tushar for fifteen years and will tell you, without hesitation, that finding him is the one thing she did absolutely right. Connect with Snigdha on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/snigdhacontentstrategy/]. -- Enjoyed this episode? Share it with someone navigating infertility, partnership, or the beautiful mess of early parenthood. Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.

#64: Trust the Child: Shruti Taneja on Conscious Parenting, Letting Go, and Building a Life from the Inside Out

Shruti Taneja – mother, aspiring farmer, social worker, and "lazy entrepreneur" – joins Neha for a conversation about parenting as a practice of deep listening and radical trust. Shruti and her partner Abhishek moved to Solan, Himachal Pradesh, a decade ago to build a regenerative farm and a life where work, family, and mission are indistinguishable from each other. In this episode, she speaks about releasing the grip of identity, co-parenting as co-creation, why she abandoned her homeschooling ideology when her daughter asked to go to school, and how her daughter Aisha continues to be her most honest teacher. Why You Should Listen This one is for parents who feel the tension between their values and the reality of raising a real, opinionated child. Shruti doesn't perform conscious parenting – she lives it, contradictions and all. She talks about the fights, the ideologies that got cancelled, the unlearning that happened in real time. If you've ever felt like your child outwitted your parenting plan, this episode will make you feel seen. Notable Quotes * "Nature teaches you that the most basic thing of life – not roti kapda makan, but breathing – you're interdependent. So there's nothing called independence really." * "It was like, you just cancelled my TED talk. So the intentions just go off the window." – on Aisha choosing school over homeschooling * "It's best sometimes, being a parent, to get out of the way." * "Kids are beautiful sensing machines." Practical Takeaways 1. Use the grandparents as a calibration tool. If your parents and in-laws aren't anxious about something, that's a signal it probably doesn't need your anxiety either. They've watched two generations grow up. 2. Presence over hours. One hour of undivided attention – phone face down, fully there – is worth more than a full distracted day. Aisha taught Shruti this by getting "damn irritated" when Shruti had her phone on mid-conversation. 3. Your child's body knows. Shruti never forced Aisha to eat, and she grew into a child who never overeats, reads her own hunger, and makes seasonal food choices intuitively. Trust the body's wisdom. 4. Invest in the village – for yourself, not just the child. A support network doesn't just make children more vibrant; it gives parents breathing room. Build it intentionally. 5. Hold your parenting ideology lightly. Shruti arrived at parenthood with a homeschooling plan. Aisha chose school. The best parenting move was listening. Resources & References * Teach for India Fellowship: The two-year fellowship that pivoted Shruti's life from advertising towards education and social impact. teachforindia.org [https://www.teachforindia.org/fellowship] * Sabarmati Gandhi Ashram, Ahmedabad: Where Shruti encountered the value of interdependence that cracked her "fiercely independent" identity open. gandhiashramsabarmati.org [https://gandhiashramsabarmati.org/] * Satat Sammelan: The intergenerational sustainability confluence Shruti and Abhishek run in Himachal Pradesh, designed for participants from age 3 to 80. About the Guest Shruti Taneja is a mother, farmer-in-the-making, coach, and social entrepreneur based in Solan, Himachal Pradesh. She began her career as a copywriter in advertising before pivoting to education through the Teach for India Fellowship – a shift that changed everything. Over the last decade, she and her partner Abhishek have built a regenerative farm, a consultancy that works with corporates and startups, and a non-profit working towards making Himachal Pradesh regenerative. She is raising her daughter Aisha alongside chickens, cattle, and a learning ecosystem that refuses to separate work from life. Connect with Shruti on LinkedIn [⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/shrutisachdeva/⁠]. 💬 Join the Conversation 🔔 Review & Subscribe: If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave a review, subscribe, and share it with your friends and family! 💖 Follow Us: * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parenthootwithneha/ [https://www.instagram.com/parenthootwithneha/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/parenthoot/ [https://www.linkedin.com/company/parenthoot/] ☕ Support Us: ⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha⁠ [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.

She Found Me: One mother's story of adoption, Down syndrome, and love that defied the plan | Parenthoot Spotlight

Kavita never planned to be a mother. She told her husband as much before they married. But a chance encounter with a child with Down syndrome in the US set something in motion — a slow, deliberate turning toward a life she hadn't imagined. Nine years ago, she and her husband Himanshu returned to India, filed their adoption paperwork, and within 45 days, brought home Veda — a 16-month-old girl with Down syndrome and a blurry profile picture they were too excited to notice. This episode is the story of that journey: the bonding that didn't look like bonding, the inclusion that doesn't start at school, the achievement pressure she refuses, and the future she has stopped trying to predict. Kavita speaks with the kind of clarity that only comes from having lived something fully. Why You Should Listen If you have ever questioned what family is supposed to look like — or felt the weight of other people's ideas about what your child should become — this episode will settle something in you. Kavita does not perform strength. She cries first, she admits it openly, and then she finds her footing. She is also very funny. Notable Quotes * "Down syndrome was not even a con for us." * "I thought bond is like child hugging you. But bond was when only I could understand what she was saying — and then it clicked, because I'm her mom." * "What if she will be Veda the non-famous? She doesn't need to be something to be respected. Her respect will start from home. That's where inclusion starts." * "It's weird that I don't see her future. I see my future with her." Practical Takeaways * Bonding after adoption can look nothing like what you expect. It may arrive quietly, sideways, in a moment nobody else witnesses. * Inclusion begins at home — in how you speak about your child, not in which school admits them. * You do not have to fight every battle. Finding the right people is also a form of advocacy. * Your child's story belongs to them. Share your perspective, not their history. * The "what after us" fear is real — and also universal. You are not alone in carrying it. Resources & References * CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority): India's nodal body for adoption. For families exploring adoption: cara.nic.in * Down Syndrome Federation of India: Runs weekly support sessions for parents, including those in rural areas with limited access to therapy. downsyndromefederation.in * Down Syndrome International: Global resources, research, and community. ds-int.org * Trisomy 21: The chromosomal condition underlying Down syndrome. A reliable starting point for new parents: ndss.org/resources/down-syndrome-facts * Sensory and play-based learning: Kavita describes following Veda's lead through puzzles, tracing, and hands-on curriculum. A useful framework: understood.org/play-based-learning * Child digital privacy: Kavita's thoughtful approach to sharing online. For parents navigating this: internetmatters.org/issues/sharenting About the Guest Kavita is Veda's mother — and that, she will tell you, is the most defining thing. Based in Chandigarh, she has spent the last nine years sharing her family's life through her Instagram account Learning with Veda and her YouTube channel, with the quiet, steady purpose of showing parents — especially those who have just received a Down syndrome diagnosis — that this life is not scary. It is, in fact, full. Her account has grown into a community of over 14,000 people, with lawyers, advocates, and parents who show up for each other. She didn't plan any of it. Veda found her. Follow her on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/learningwithveda/] Watch her videos on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/c/learningwithveda] Visit her website [https://learningwithveda.com] Join the Conversation Review & Subscribe: If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave a review, subscribe, and share it with your friends and family! Follow Us: * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parenthootwithneha/ [https://www.instagram.com/parenthootwithneha/] * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/parenthoot/ [https://www.linkedin.com/company/parenthoot/] Support Us: https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha [https://buymeacoffee.com/gargneha] Your support helps keep the show running.