When Feedback Hurts (and When to Ignore It)

How Your Upbringing Is Secretly Shaping Your Creative Life (And What To Do About It)

How much of your creative life was actually chosen by you,  and how much of it was shaped long before you even realized it? In this episode of Pickles & Pasta, Steph and Jay dive into one of the most personal and overlooked conversations in the creative world: how culture, upbringing, family values, and identity quietly shape the way we pursue creativity, success, and even permission to dream bigger. Steph opens up about growing up in a traditional Italian-American environment where creativity often felt secondary to stability, practicality, and responsibility, and how that influenced the way she viewed art, ambition, and risk. Jay reflects on being raised in a first-generation American Jewish household where education and diligence were deeply valued, but entrepreneurship and creative careers felt far less familiar or understood. Together, they unpack the invisible beliefs many creatives inherit growing up: the fear of instability, the guilt around pursuing artistic work, the pressure to justify creativity as “real work,” and the complicated relationship between financial struggle and artistic ambition. They also discuss how global connectivity and social media have transformed modern creativity, breaking down cultural silos and exposing artists to inspiration, aesthetics, and communities from around the world. From travel and visual culture to language itself, this episode examines the subtle ways society has historically minimized creative professions — and why redefining success matters more now than ever. This episode also explores: * How cultural upbringing influences creative confidence * The pressure to pursue “safe” careers instead of artistic ones * The immigrant mindset versus generational privilege in creative spaces * Whether financial struggle actually fuels great art * Catholic guilt, Jewish educational values, and creative identity * Why artists often feel the need to justify their work * And more! Artists and cultural references discussed in this episode include Joan Mitchell, Helen Frankenthaler, Kennedy Yanko, Bob Dylan, and Jimi Hendrix. Pickles & Pasta is hosted by Steph and Jay and produced by Rainbow Creative & ephelants with Matthew “MoJo” Jones as Executive Producer. For sales and partnership inquiries, contact podcasts@rainbowcreative.co [podcasts@rainbowcreative.co] * 0:00 Cold Open * 0:51 Intro & Topic Overview: Creativity Across Cultures * 2:24 Steph's Italian-American Upbringing & Family Attitudes Toward Art * 5:14 Jay's Jewish-American Background & the Value of Education * 8:43 What If Your Creative Path Had Been Supported? * 9:23 Playing Tournaments Alone: Jay's Experience Without Family Support * 11:37 Wealthy Artists: Joan Mitchell, Frankenthaler & Privilege in the Art World * 12:34 The Starving Artist Myth — Does Struggle Fuel Creativity? * 24:52 The Internet & How Global Culture Changed Creativity * 33:54 Is Creativity a Luxury or a Necessity? * 34:53 Would a Different Environment Have Changed You? * 40:34 Beliefs About Success We Inherit from Family * 43:28 Defining Success on Your Own Terms Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

How to Pivot Successfully as a Creative

What does it actually mean to pivot creatively? And how do you know when evolution is necessary versus when you're just running from discomfort? In this episode of Pickles & Pasta, Steph and Jay open up about the pivots that completely reshaped their personal and professional lives. From Steph’s transition from fashion brand CEO to full-time artist, to Jay’s evolution from building a tennis stringing business into entertainment and creative production, this is an honest conversation about identity, reinvention, and learning to trust your next chapter. Steph reflects on the emotional side of stepping away from something you once built your entire identity around, the grief that can come with reinvention, and how COVID unexpectedly pushed her back toward painting and creativity in a deeper way. Jay shares the story behind building “Jay Custom,” how customer service became the foundation of everything he does, and why naming his company Effluence represented a bigger vision for the future. Together, they explore the difference between intentional pivots and impulsive decisions, the transferable skills that follow you into every industry, and why some people stay stuck because they wait too long to evolve. This episode also explores: * The difference between a pivot and natural evolution * Why identity shifts can feel uncomfortable and emotional * Skills that transfer across every business and industry * How customer care became a core philosophy for Jay * Steph’s creative journey back into painting and art * The emotional challenge of letting go of old versions of yourself * Why some pivots fail and others create long-term growth * When to tell people you're making a major life or career change * How to recognize the signs that it may be time to pivot * And more! This show is hosted by Steph and Jay and produced by Rainbow Creative & ephelants with Matthew “MoJo” Jones as Executive Producer. For sales and partnership inquiries, please contact podcasts@rainbowcreative.co [podcasts@rainbowcreative.co] Chapters * 0:00 Intro | How do you step away without it all falling apart? * 1:20 What even is a pivot? Evolution vs. major change * 3:11 Steph’s pivot from fashion brand CEO to artist * 7:07 Identity shifts and the grief of letting go * 11:26 Jay’s pivot from tennis stringing into entertainment * 18:59 The story behind “ephelants” and “Jay Custom” * 22:31 Skills that transfer across every business * 26:20 Why customer care became a core identity * 28:44 Steph’s pivots through the lens of design * 30:02 Intentional vs. impulsive pivots * 40:43 When to tell people you’re pivoting * 42:06 Final thoughts: recognizing when it’s time for change Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

Leading Creative Teams, Feedback & Vision | Creative Leadership Without Losing Yourself

What does it actually take to lead creative people without burning out, micromanaging, or losing your own voice in the process? In this episode of Pickles & Pasta, Steph and Jay unpack the realities of creative leadership, feedback, and building with other people when your vision is deeply personal. From Steph's experience transitioning from solo creative to leading a growing brand, to Jay's lessons managing teams across film, sports, and creative production, this is an honest conversation about what leadership really looks like behind the scenes. Steph reflects on learning how to communicate creative direction clearly, navigate difficult feedback, and balance collaboration without compromising instinct. Jay shares stories about hiring mistakes, managing personalities, and the responsibility that comes with guiding people through creative work. Together, they explore the emotional side of leadership, why some feedback builds better work while other feedback creates confusion, and how authenticity becomes the foundation of strong creative teams. This episode also explores: * The difference between being a creator, producer, and leader * The challenge of giving feedback without crushing creativity * The four creative personality types and how they work together * What makes someone a great team leader in creative environments * Why authenticity matters more than performative leadership * Lessons learned from leading teams in fast-moving creative industries * What great leadership looks like when you're not in the room * And more! This show is hosted by Steph and Jay and produced by Rainbow Creative [https://www.rainbowcreative.co/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] & ephelants [https://ephelantsz.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] with Matthew “MoJo” Jones as Executive Producer. For sales and partnership inquiries, please contact podcasts@rainbowcreative.co Chapters * 0:00 Intro | Creative leadership & building teams * 4:00 Transitioning from solo creative to team leader * 9:20 Learning how to give feedback effectively * 13:06 Different creative personalities & communication styles * 18:12 Leadership mistakes and lessons learned * 20:41 The four creative personality types * 26:09 Perfectionism vs. execution * 31:26 Leading creatives without micromanaging * 35:13 Protecting creative space as a producer * 42:55 Authenticity and trust in leadership * 47:13 Final thoughts on leadership, vision & growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

When Feedback Hurts (and When to Ignore It)

What happens when feedback stops being helpful and starts feeling personal? In this episode of Pickles & Pasta, Steph and Jay explore the complicated reality of receiving feedback as a creative, a leader, and a public-facing builder. From formative critiques in design school to unsolicited opinions from strangers online, this is a grounded conversation about what it actually feels like to put your work into the world and have it reflected back through other people’s perspectives. Steph reflects on her time at Parsons, where her work was dissected by industry names like Michael Kors, and how that early exposure to high-level critique shaped her ability to separate useful feedback from emotional noise. Jay brings in the leadership side of the conversation, breaking down what it means to give feedback responsibly when other people are building what you’ve asked them to create. Together, they unpack the difference between critique that sharpens your work and criticism that reveals more about the person giving it than the work itself. They also talk about the emotional side of visibility, from reading feedback third-hand to the unexpected sting of something as small as a friend unsubscribing from an email list. This episode also explores: * Why early critique from top-tier professionals can build long-term resilience * How to tell the difference between constructive feedback and disguised opinion * Why third-party criticism often lands harder than direct conversation * What it means to lead creatively without shutting people down * The responsibility that comes with giving feedback as a leader * The “man in the arena” idea and who actually earns the right to critique your work * Dave Grutman’s philosophy of “taking it personal” and what that unlocks * A closing reflection on whether your work would change if no one else’s opinion existed Follow & Connect with the Show!Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@PicklesAndPastaPodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@PicklesAndPastaPodcast]Follow ephelants on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ephelants/ [https://www.instagram.com/ephelants/] Steph’s brand: Have Some Fun Today [https://havesomefuntoday.com/] This show is hosted by Steph and Jay and produced by Rainbow Creative (https://www.rainbowcreative.co/ [https://www.rainbowcreative.co/]) & ephelants (https://ephelantsz.com/ [https://ephelantsz.com/]) with Matthew “MoJo” Jones as Executive Producer. For sales and partnership inquiries, please contact podcasts@rainbowcreative.co Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]

The Psychology of Creativity: How Ideas Actually Work (and What It Takes to Build Them)

What does it really mean to be creative, and what does it actually take to turn an idea into something real? In this episode of Pickles & Pasta, Steph and Jay dive into the psychology of creativity, from where ideas come from to what happens after inspiration hits. This is an honest, layered conversation about instinct, execution, and the often-overlooked gap between being creative and building something sustainable. They reflect on how creativity showed up early in their lives, from first-grade daydreaming to feeling “different”, and how those instincts evolved into real-world pursuits. But this episode goes beyond inspiration. It gets into the reality of bringing ideas to life: the mistakes, the money lost, the pressure, and the lessons learned the hard way. Jay shares how he started a tennis racket stringing business before the age of 20 with zero experience, while Steph opens up about walking into Bendel’s with hand-sewn dresses, landing a major moment with Brooke Shields, and still having to figure out the business side behind the scenes. They talk candidly about undervaluing your work, navigating creative blocks, and why not every idea needs to become a business. Sometimes the smartest move is knowing what to build—and what to keep as a passion. This episode also explores: * Why daydreaming might be your greatest creative tool * Letting ideas “come through you” vs. forcing them * The difference between creativity and business acumen * Pricing, marketing mistakes, and lessons from ~$100K in losses * Creative intuition and recognizing “the tap on the shoulder” * Fear of success and self-sabotage * The importance of environment and the people around you * How to move through creative blocks and actually execute Books & References Mentioned: * The Creative Act: A Way of Being – Rick Rubin * The Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron * Stutz (Netflix) – Jonah Hill & Dr. Phil Stutz * New Crits artist talks (NYC) * Artist Cam Roone (Whitney Biennial) Follow & Connect with the Show! * Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@PicklesAndPastaPodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@PicklesAndPastaPodcast] * Follow ephelants on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ephelants/ [https://www.instagram.com/ephelants/] * Steph’s brand: Have Some Fun Today [https://havesomefuntoday.com/] This show is hosted by Steph and Jay and produced by Rainbow Creative (https://www.rainbowcreative.co/ [https://www.rainbowcreative.co/]) & ephelants (https://ephelantsz.com/ [https://ephelantsz.com/]) with Matthew “MoJo” Jones as Executive Producer. For sales and partnership inquiries, please contact podcasts@rainbowcreative.co Timestamps: * 0:00 – Welcome & intro: the psychology of creativity * 0:18 – Were we always creative? Growing up “different” * 1:27 – Steph’s first-grade daydreaming & Sister Alisan * 2:46 – Jay’s first day of school: kicking and screaming * 4:14 – Daydreaming as a superpower: visualization vs. fantasy * 6:57 – Rick Rubin & letting ideas come through you * 14:49 – Steph’s painting In Your Dreams * 22:29 – The Artist’s Way & creative process * 25:41 – The origin of Have Some Fun Today * 28:19 – Deadlines, pressure & creativity * 32:01 – The idea Steph almost ignored * 35:23 – Protecting your creativity * 44:02 – Fear of success & self-sabotage * 52:38 – The “snapshot” trap (Stutz) * 57:16 – Creating with purpose * 1:02:49 – Creative blocks & how to move through them * 1:07:27 – Environment: stimulation vs. stillness * 1:16:57 – Takeaway exercise 1:22:01 – Final thoughts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices [https://megaphone.fm/adchoices]