How Abusive Men Make You Think You're the Abuser | Emma Davey | S4E2

Character Isn’t Chemistry: How to Stop Falling for Sparks and Start Seeing Who He Really Is | Chantel Hyde S4E5

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2503841/fan_mail/new] If you've ever felt terrified to date again after abuse, wondered why your "radar" keeps failing you, or questioned how to trust yourself (and others) moving forward—this episode is going to validate everything you've sensed and give you clear, practical tools to move forward with confidence. Canada’s Dating Coach Chantel Hyde joins us to share her powerful insights drawn from sociology, psychology, personal experience, and years of coaching women through healing and dating. We dive deep into why slowing down is non-negotiable, how to properly vet partners, the biology and psychology behind toxic attraction, and how to rebuild your self-respect so you never settle for less again. This conversation dismantles the societal conditioning that leads women into unhealthy dynamics and replaces it with empowering strategies for choosing (and being chosen by) high-quality partners. Support the show [https://paypal.me/strongerthanbefore2?country.x=CA&locale.x=en_US] This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com [https://lisasonni.com]  Book A Session with Lisa [https://lisasonni.com/book-a-session/] Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective [https://lisasonni.com/memberships/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=dynamic_content&utm_campaign=she_rises_collective] where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG [https://www.instagram.com/lisasonnicoaching] Watch on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@lisasonni] Get My Books Here [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0C4ZMN8Y6/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=c9f3febb-d3cb-41df-8487-b4b515ab3a90&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=92a0de38-f3bb-4d11-881a-bb1ccd609c70] New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

He Doesn’t Want A Partner. He Wants A Mother | Aishia Grevenberg S4E4

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2503841/fan_mail/new] If you've ever been told your standards are too high, that you're trying to change him, or that real love means accepting everything he does - this episode is going to name something you've been feeling for a long time but maybe couldn't say out loud. Therapist, educator, and LCSW Aishia Grevenberg is back for her third conversation with me, and this time we're getting into why abusive men genuinely believe love should be unconditional - and why that belief has nothing to do with love. What they're really asking for isn't a partner. It's a mother. And once you understand the dominance dynamic underneath that demand, so much of what happened to you starts to make a different kind of sense. We talk about why your needs feel like a threat to a man who needs control, the difference between pity and compassion and how men use one to keep you stuck, what love bombing actually does to a woman who grew up without a baseline for healthy love, and why having conditions in a relationship isn't selfish - it's the bare minimum. If someone has ever made you feel like your standards were the problem, this one will make you feel a lot less crazy and a lot less alone. Find Aishia: @mytherapistlife on all platforms Support the show [https://paypal.me/strongerthanbefore2?country.x=CA&locale.x=en_US] This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com [https://lisasonni.com]  Book A Session with Lisa [https://lisasonni.com/book-a-session/] Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective [https://lisasonni.com/memberships/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=dynamic_content&utm_campaign=she_rises_collective] where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG [https://www.instagram.com/lisasonnicoaching] Watch on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@lisasonni] Get My Books Here [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0C4ZMN8Y6/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=c9f3febb-d3cb-41df-8487-b4b515ab3a90&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=92a0de38-f3bb-4d11-881a-bb1ccd609c70] New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

5 Covert Gaslighting Tactics That Make You Question Your Own Reality | Dr. Robin Stern | S4E3

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2503841/fan_mail/new] You know what gaslighting is. ”You're too sensitive.” ”I was just joking.” ”That never happened.” But there is a version of gaslighting that is much harder to name. It does not announce itself. It works slowly, through tone and framing and forgetfulness and calm. And by the time you notice it, you have already started doubting your own memory, your own perception, and your own mind. Lisa sits down with Dr. Robin Stern, therapist, author, and co-founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, to go deep on the 5 covert tactics that most people never recognize as gaslighting. Dr. Stern is clear that these tactics are not always conscious, but in the hands of someone who uses them consistently, the effect is the same. You stop trusting yourself. You begin organizing your life around avoiding his reaction. You forget who you were before the confusion started. Because sometimes the calmest person in the room is causing the most damage. Resources mentioned: * The Gaslight Effect by Dr. Robin Stern * Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence Support the show [https://paypal.me/strongerthanbefore2?country.x=CA&locale.x=en_US] This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com [https://lisasonni.com]  Book A Session with Lisa [https://lisasonni.com/book-a-session/] Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective [https://lisasonni.com/memberships/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=dynamic_content&utm_campaign=she_rises_collective] where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG [https://www.instagram.com/lisasonnicoaching] Watch on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@lisasonni] Get My Books Here [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0C4ZMN8Y6/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=c9f3febb-d3cb-41df-8487-b4b515ab3a90&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=92a0de38-f3bb-4d11-881a-bb1ccd609c70] New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

How Abusive Men Make You Think You're the Abuser | Emma Davey | S4E2

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2503841/fan_mail/new] If you have ever wondered whether you are the toxic one, the narcissist, the problem…that question is not a coincidence, it was put there on purpose. Lisa sits down with Emma Davey, trauma-informed counsellor and master's candidate in the psychology of coercive and controlling behaviour, to break down exactly how abusive men flip the script. Together they walk through how self-blame gets installed from the very beginning, why the fawn response has so many women working overtime to manage someone else's mood, and what DARVO actually looks like in real time inside a relationship and in court. They also get into the fight response, the moment you finally explode after months or years of being poked, prodded, and worn down, and why that moment gets weaponized as proof that you are the unstable one. Emma is clear: that reaction does not make you the abuser, it makes you human. Your nervous system was doing exactly what it was built to do. One of the most important reframes in this conversation is also one of the simplest. The person genuinely causing harm is not lying awake at night wondering if they are hurting you. They are not on YouTube looking for answers. You are. And that tells you everything you need to know. Resources mentioned: * Mynara app by Emma Davey (evidence tracking, disguised as a calculator) * My Trauma Therapy: mytraumatherapy.co.uk [http://mytraumatherapy.co.uk] Support the show [https://paypal.me/strongerthanbefore2?country.x=CA&locale.x=en_US] This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com [https://lisasonni.com]  Book A Session with Lisa [https://lisasonni.com/book-a-session/] Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective [https://lisasonni.com/memberships/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=dynamic_content&utm_campaign=she_rises_collective] where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG [https://www.instagram.com/lisasonnicoaching] Watch on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@lisasonni] Get My Books Here [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0C4ZMN8Y6/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=c9f3febb-d3cb-41df-8487-b4b515ab3a90&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=92a0de38-f3bb-4d11-881a-bb1ccd609c70] New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.

Why Narcissists Explode When You Set Boundaries | Bill Eddy on High Conflict Escalation | S4E1

Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2503841/fan_mail/new] You knew it was coming. Maybe not the exact moment, but you felt it building. The tension in the room. The stillness before it broke. Your nervous system clocked it before your brain caught up. That's pattern recognition, and there's a reason these conflicts follow a script. Lisa sits down with Bill Eddy, lawyer, therapist, mediator, and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute, to break down exactly why escalation in high conflict relationships is predictable, what triggers it, and how it plays out differently across three distinct personality patterns. Bill explains why setting a boundary isn't just uncomfortable for these people, it's experienced as a threat that requires a response. He covers how they move from verbal attacks to punishment to recruiting others into the conflict, why they see themselves as the victim even while causing harm, and what survivors consistently get wrong when they're in the middle of it. One of the most important moments in this conversation is a simple reframe: escalation is not proof that you did something wrong. It's proof that the system was challenged. Once you understand that, everything shifts. Resources mentioned: * SLIC Solutions: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences by Bill Eddy * Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy * High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.com [http://highconflictinstitute.com] Support the show [https://paypal.me/strongerthanbefore2?country.x=CA&locale.x=en_US] This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com [https://lisasonni.com]  Book A Session with Lisa [https://lisasonni.com/book-a-session/] Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective [https://lisasonni.com/memberships/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=dynamic_content&utm_campaign=she_rises_collective] where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy.  Follow on IG [https://www.instagram.com/lisasonnicoaching] Watch on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@lisasonni] Get My Books Here [https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0C4ZMN8Y6/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=c9f3febb-d3cb-41df-8487-b4b515ab3a90&ref_=ap_rdr&ccs_id=92a0de38-f3bb-4d11-881a-bb1ccd609c70] New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.