Recovery Elevator

Today we have Amy. She is 41 years old and lives in Raleigh, NC. She took her last drink on December 12th, 2023.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help [https://www.betterhelp.com/get-started/?go=true&slug=elevator&utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=2687&utm_term=elevator&promo_code=elevator&landing_page_img=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FqYHezjI.jpg&aff_channel=podcast&discount_rate=10&discount_period=P1M&date_interval=P1M&percentage_off=10&amount=1&amount_spelled_out=one&unit=month&gor=start] – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature [https://exactnature.com] – use code RE20 to save 20% off of your order   October 2026 [https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/] we have a new retreat we have yet to do. This is an in-person alcohol-free ukulele retreat taking place in Guanacaste, Costa Rica. There will be ukulele instruction in the mornings and Spanish immersion courses in the afternoon.   [02:01] Thoughts from Paul:   Addiction is disconnecting with the self and your fellow humans. More sobriety is connection with the self, your fellow humans and more. “I” equals illness, “we” equals wellness.   Quitting drinking is a perfect circle. Your drinking crisis is an opportunity for someone to help. Phrased with 12 step verbiage, your first step is someone else’s 12th step. And when you find your footing, you can then assist someone else in their drinking crisis.   When the soul is hurting, the healing only happens when you’re not alone. And speaking of being alone, listeners, you are not alone. You are not the only one who struggles with alcohol. You, along with the other listeners, are seeking not only sobriety but seeking a deeper connection with all. Seeking answers that the bottle can’t deliver. You are in the right place.   [07:37] Paul introduces Amy:   Amy is 41 years old and lives in Raleigh, NC with her husband and a three-year-old son. Amy says she is a theater nerd and does improv comedy for fun.    Amy grew up in the southwest side of Chicago where she says her father was an alcoholic. She has memories of being a child at AA and Al-Anon meetings with her parents as well as memories of her father taking her to bars when they would tell her mother they were somewhere else.   Amy had her first drink when she was 15 while going to a concert with older teens. There was a bottle passed around the group and they all got drunk. Later that night she was found in the field of the concert venue by paramedics and taken to the hospital to have her stomach pumped.   She began to live a double life throughout high school and college. Amy saw that if she got good grades and joined all of the clubs, she would get praise and recognition. On the flip side she would drink very hard, and it wasn’t uncommon for her to get alcohol poisoning. Only after going to grad school in New York was Amy able to calm down a bit.   After COVID, Amy and her husband were doing IVF. Amy says she didn’t drink much at this point, but after having the baby, she suffered from postpartum anxiety which led her to daily drinking as a tool to cope with it. Over time she would begin to try moderation but limiting herself to two drinks was difficult and led to binges.   Amy’s last bender was at a holiday work party. The next day she found herself hungover and asked herself how her drinking was any better than her father’s was when she was younger. She knew that she may be heading down a dangerous path, so Amy decided to call the local AA helpline.   Amy began going to AA meetings and found a sponsor. She shares that her mother was a great support because of her experience with Al-Anon and she understood what Amy was going through.   One of the best things for Amy was burning the ships and gaining accountability. Even after 18 months, Amy admits there is white knuckling at times. She realizes that after 25 years of drinking, it doesn’t all heal within 18 months, but she is grateful to be where she is and says that since getting sober, she hasn’t missed a day of her son’s life.   Amy’s parting piece of guidance: everything that she was looking for while getting drunk can be found in recovery and she found it in Café RE and AA. Take what works and leave the rest.   Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.   Café RE [https://www.cafe-re.org/] – the social app for sober people RE on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/recoveryelevator/?hl=en] Recovery Elevator YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuWac9dxkn3J93xJOka3L2g] Sobriety Tracker iTunes  [https://appsto.re/us/z8w_5.i]

Today we have Brian. He is 40 years old from Spring Hill, MA and he took his last drink of alcohol on July 16th, 2024.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help [https://www.betterhelp.com/get-started/?go=true&slug=elevator&utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=2687&utm_term=elevator&promo_code=elevator&landing_page_img=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FqYHezjI.jpg&aff_channel=podcast&discount_rate=10&discount_period=P1M&date_interval=P1M&percentage_off=10&amount=1&amount_spelled_out=one&unit=month&gor=start] – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature [https://exactnature.com/RE20] – 20% off your order with code RE20   Shout out to these alcohol-free brands for sponsoring our seventh Bozeman Retreat:   Athletic Brewing [https://athleticbrewing.com/] Sober Link [https://www.soberlink.com/partners-soberlink-users/recovery-elevator] - save 50% on a device Rise Up Coffee [https://riseupcoffee.com/] Better Rhodes [https://www.betterrhodes.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorWeob-TIE5LHNYy7YGh1rjrkGcjnEFv5tRON8q8ytg7ja77B0J] – use code RECOV_EL_15 at checkout for 15% off Odyssey Elixirs [https://odysseyelixir.com/?srsltid=AfmBOopXvZrT5Oe8QN_2uhGHsmQwKHyqC8kOX6Eg7lbrQLuZ1PXCZdLV]   [03:25] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us Bill W., the founder of AA once shared letters back and forth with Swiss psychologist Carl Yung looking for feedback on the program he was creating. Perhaps the most important letter from Yung to Bill W. was a letter suggesting a spiritual solution was needed to overcome addiction. He was a firm believer that addiction has nothing to do with weakness but is a misdirected cry for wholeness.   Another viewpoint that Carl Yung gave us is to not ask why you want to quit drinking but what pain you are trying to silence? Or what role is alcohol playing?   When we start asking the right questions and stop fighting the addiction, the healing process begins. If you keep doing your own inner work, the massive ship called your addiction will change course. It takes time to redirect the energy called an addiction, but when we start asking the right questions, it’s going to happen. It’s just a matter of time.   [07:36] Paul introduces Brian:   Brian is 40 years old and lives in Springfield, MA. He has been married 13 years, and they have two children. For fun he enjoys weight training, cooking, and spending time with his kids.   Brian is the oldest of four kids and his parents divorced when he was young. He shares that he internalized a lot of stuff growing up and carried a lot of emotion. Brian wasn’t the kid to act out, but he recalls the first time he drank was when his mother was out of town and he ended up getting very sick. He says it taught him a lesson, and he didn’t party much in high school.   In college, Brian says, alcohol acted like that warm hug that people talk about. It gave him a lot of confidence socially and he became friends with people older than him. Once they started graduating, he lost a lot of the friends he drank with, so he found himself drinking alone occasionally which he didn’t think there was anything wrong with.   After graduation, the job market was tough which had Brian stressed out and he began using alcohol as a coping mechanism. He was drinking daily and ended up getting pancreatitis after a while, which was a bit of a wake up call for him. The drinking didn’t end but Brian began to try and moderate.   Over the years Brian was able to quit for periods of time but would return to drinking to cope with traumatic events. He was working on sobriety, watching YouTube videos, trying naltrexone and listening to podcasts. He was making progress, but COVID came and knocked him down again.   Brian did not want to fall onto the same path that his father had with his alcoholism. Brian had a rock bottom moment when his behavior on a vacation had him showing a negative side of himself to his in-laws.   On the weekend of his wife’s birthday, Brian had a few days sober, and his internal voice was trying to convince him to drink. He turned on the RE podcast while he was mowing the lawn and soon after had made the decision that he was going to quit drinking forever. He then burned the ships and told his wife about his decision.   Since quitting drinking Brian’s health has improved, he has lost 35 pounds and has found a community in Café RE. He is planning on finding more connection locally to him through AA soon.   Brian’s parting piece of guidance: listen to your heart rather than your brain. Follow your instincts.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this.       RE on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/recoveryelevator/?hl=en] Recovery Elevator YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuWac9dxkn3J93xJOka3L2g] Sobriety Tracker iTunes  [https://appsto.re/us/z8w_5.i] Café RE [https://www.cafe-re.org/]

Today we have Lori. She is 58 years old from Vancouver, Canada. She took her last drink on February 21st, 2024.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help [https://www.betterhelp.com/get-started/?go=true&slug=elevator&utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=2687&utm_term=elevator&promo_code=elevator&landing_page_img=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FqYHezjI.jpg&aff_channel=podcast&discount_rate=10&discount_period=P1M&date_interval=P1M&percentage_off=10&amount=1&amount_spelled_out=one&unit=month&gor=start] – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Café RE [https://www.cafe-re.org/] – the social app for sober people   [03:11] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that his second book, Dolce Vita, is currently in the editing process and should be out by November this year. This was also the name of the bar he owned Spain when he was in his 20’s. The name is Italian for “the good life” which Paul once thought he could find at the bottom of a bottle. He began to notice that his Dolce Vita had an expiration date that would get shorter and shorter over time.   The thing Paul thought was delivering the dolce vita was slowly and methodically destroying any chance of having one. It wasn’t until he finally ditched the booze that the good life actually showed up. He learned that the sweetness wasn’t in escaping life, it was finally showing up for it.   The good life is right here in front of us all, right here in this moment, as long as we stay away from a drink today.   [09:19] Paul introduces Lori:   Lori is 58 years old and lives in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada. She has been married for 37 years, and they have two grown children and one grandchild. Lori has been a realtor for 35 years and for fun she enjoys golf and physical fitness.    Lori shares that she had a great childhood, but her mother was an alcoholic, and it affected her negatively throughout the years. In high school, Lori aspired to be an actress and craved attention. Having an already outgoing personality, it just got bigger when she was drinking and garnered more attention.   Lori had a lot of resentments towards her mother over the years and admits she treated her poorly. They did not make amends before her mother passed, and Lori says that is when her drinking started ramping up. On the outside, everything was going well with her career and her kids, but the weekends revolved around drinking.   Some mornings Lori would wake up depressed, regretful of her actions the night before and be plagued with the “not again” feelings. Lori and her husband would discuss cutting back on drinking and she acknowledges that he only drank as much as he did because of her.   In 2022 Lori was able to quit drinking for 77 days with the help of This Naked Mind and participated in two 30-day alcohol experiments. Then something negative happened and Lori found herself reaching for a glass of wine. Before long she was drinking at any time of day, hiding alcohol in her sock drawer and sneaking shots of moonshine.   After a weekend trip with some friends where Lori could not get the happy buzz that she was looking for from the alcohol, she knew that something had to change. She joined the RE Ukelele course and decided to stick around. With the help and encouragement of some fellow members, she started to believe that maybe she could be alcohol-free.   Lori began going to a lot of chats with Café RE, first with the camera off just taking notes. She began to participate by asking questions and listening. The community has helped Lori find her mantra to hit the pillow sober every night. The first 30 days felt like the calendar was moving backwards, but she kept going.   Lori still stays social with her friends but has recently been feeling like she is at a crossroads. Some events that used to be fun no longer are and she is feeling a shift. The RE community means a lot to her and she is currently seeking more sober connections local to her.   Some of the bright lights in sobriety for Lori are the ability to be heard, being reliable, and she now feels better physically as well as mentally.   Lori’s parting piece of guidance: please decide your “whys” If the cons outweigh the pros, you need to take alcohol out of your life.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this. I love you guys.     RE on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/recoveryelevator/?hl=en] Recovery Elevator YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuWac9dxkn3J93xJOka3L2g] Sobriety Tracker iTunes  [https://appsto.re/us/z8w_5.i]

Today we have Rachel. She is 48 years old and lives in Minneapolis, MN. She took her last drink on August 28th, 2018.   This episode brought to you by: Better Help [https://www.betterhelp.com/get-started/?go=true&slug=elevator&utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=2687&utm_term=elevator&promo_code=elevator&landing_page_img=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FqYHezjI.jpg&aff_channel=podcast&discount_rate=10&discount_period=P1M&date_interval=P1M&percentage_off=10&amount=1&amount_spelled_out=one&unit=month&gor=start] – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Sober Link [https://www.soberlink.com/partners-soberlink-users/recovery-elevator] – learn more and save $50 off of a device     Come join us in beautiful Bozeman, Montana [https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/] this August 6th – 10th for our annual flagship retreat. We have a few camping spots as well as a few spots left in the men’s cabin.   [02:50] Thoughts from Paul:   Healing can look a bit like a paradox and Paul shares several examples showing this. Tying this same idea into ditching the booze we can say that quitting drinking can make you feel more anxious at first, when it’s actually making you calmer in the long run. Quitting drinking can make you feel more emotional and raw when it’s actually making you more resilient. Sobriety can make you feel bored at first, but it’s actually clearing space for hobbies and adventures that you’ll deeply enjoy.   Healing can hurt at first, but look out, brighter days are just on the horizon. Can you do this? Absolutely. Will there be stumbles, bad days? Without a doubt.   You can do this, you are doing this and you’re further along on your AF journey than you think. Keep moving forward.   [06:30] Paul introduces Rachel:   Rachel is 48 and lives just outside of Minneapolis, MN. She is married and they have three cats. She is a director in financial services and for fun she enjoys reading, writing and attending meet ups with other sober people.   Alcohol was always present when Rachel was growing up. She was an achiever in school and had already completed some college before graduating high school. Drinking was not a focus for her through her school years, and she didn’t start drinking until later in her life.   Around 2008 during the national financial crisis, Rachel says her drinking changed. Being a bond trader during this time was tough due to the uncertainty of the future. Rachel found herself having a drink after work and it became part of habit loop for her: go to work, come home, have a drink.  Over the next 7 to 10 years, that one drink turned into multiple bottles.   Rachel was desperate to figure out how to solve this issue without drinking and tried moderation with no luck. She began reading books like This Naked Mind and listening to podcasts like RE. She felt the stories on the podcast were relatable because they were normal people and not the stereotypical bum under a bridge with the brown paper bag.   After hearing suggestions of trying to quit for 30 days, Rachel decided to try it and has been sober ever since. She says the first three days were hard but within seven days she was sleeping better than she ever had. Rachel began substituting wine with sparkling water and while it was tough at first, it became her new habit. She also joined Café RE and found community there and in AA.   Rachel recently self-published a book called Functional: A High Performer's Guide to Achieving Freedom from Alcohol [https://www.amazon.com/Functional-Performers-Achieving-Freedom-Alcohol/dp/B0F9ZZFMBB/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3CSG40X0QXF8F&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.ZtYdgHwmLDoJlWWVbNnl4zkQA86ujmafAhItM5R9GSeV-IjJj285giva6CBEmvNI54Hi79l8IYISj66-PHQ2JXznC4ek4Rj_F8lZ-RUH3oGiaASc-2Q5kQRF10Yr6T1R9Em1wgqFMLYl398b1pZszWhEeouFL9a53JFYKVuMONZ8dwJPvESlAqNIS24iC8rFW0k8arQ1sGxNr89VfkYf_cAn2nBVYW066iuEar1mJRQ.MQ8AQMPv5NHiu15oOlDlwybMDioyAAObGzySoG_j0Jo&dib_tag=se&keywords=functional+book&qid=1753582623&sprefix=functional+book%2Cspecialty-aps%2C94&sr=8-1-catcorr&srs=19633587011]. She says she wrote a book that she wishes were available to her when she got sober. Many of the books out there have glaring rock bottom moments which Rachel said she didn’t have. She believes that it may sometimes be harder for people without a rock bottom to quit because it isn’t as obvious that they need to.   Rachel’s best advice to somebody that is functional is to just try to quit for 30 days and use it as a time of self-discovery.   Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. We can do this.   Café RE [https://www.cafe-re.org/] – the social app for sober people RE on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/recoveryelevator/?hl=en] Recovery Elevator YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuWac9dxkn3J93xJOka3L2g] Sobriety Tracker iTunes  [https://appsto.re/us/z8w_5.i]

Today we have Thea. She is 55 years old from Madison, WI and took her last drink on February 10th, 2019   This episode brought to you by: Better Help [https://www.betterhelp.com/get-started/?go=true&slug=elevator&utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=2687&utm_term=elevator&promo_code=elevator&landing_page_img=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FqYHezjI.jpg&aff_channel=podcast&discount_rate=10&discount_period=P1M&date_interval=P1M&percentage_off=10&amount=1&amount_spelled_out=one&unit=month&gor=start] – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature [https://exactnature.com/RE20] – 20% off your order with code RE20   We have just a couple of cabin spots left for our upcoming retreat in Bozeman, Montana. [https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/] This retreat is from August 6th through 10th.   Coming in January 2026, our AF Ukelele Course [https://www.recoveryelevator.com/ukulele/]. Registration for that opens in December.   Also coming next year in October 2026, we will have an in-person ukelele retreat where we’re having Spanish instruction in the afternoons. This will be in Costa Rica. More information will be coming soon about that event.   [02:45] Thoughts from Paul:   On the journey into an alcohol-free life, it almost always consists of a chapter where we are trying to control the uncontrollable. But something takes place that we aren’t aware of and that’s that alcohol has become uncontrollable – and we haven’t realized it yet.   You might be asking yourself if your drinking has reached that point and may have searched for a sobriety podcast because there were aspects of your drinking that you were unable to control. The longer you try to control the uncontrollable, the less sanity you are left with.   Paul wants you to ask yourself if you are trying to control the uncontrollable thing. He and many of us have learned that we cannot control our drinking, but the opportunities are endless in what we CAN do without alcohol in our lives, the same can be true for you.   [07:06] Paul introduces Thea:   Thea is 55 years old, grew up in a small town in Wisconsin but now lives in Madison with her husband of almost 30 years, and they have three grown boys. Thea works in education. She loves to cook, bake, read, and attend sporting events.   Thea says she drank a little in high school, but it wasn’t out of control. After going to college where the culture involved binge drinking, Thea drank more. Being someone that didn’t suffer from hangovers, she never looked at her drinking as a problem.   Thea met her husband after college when they married and had three kids. She says she would binge drink occasionally, but not enough to create red flags and her husband can take it or leave it. Thea says she didn’t drink during her pregnancies or drink every night, but as her kids got older and needed her less, she fell into the habit of drinking more.   Thea would drink socially but preferred to drink covertly at home where she could have as much as she wanted. Over time she began to feel like she needed the alcohol to function and was becoming physically addicted to it.   A few years later, some family members had an intervention with Thea. The message she took away was that she needed to hide her drinking better in the future. The following summer, Thea’s sister-in-law called her out on her drinking again, and they went to the ER. It was recommended that she go to a detox center which Thea refused to do. She opted to detox on her own, which is not recommended. After doing that, she enrolled in an IOP but was just going through the motions to try and become a normal drinker again – she had no intention of quitting.   Thea feels she was getting nudges from God to address the issue. It wasn’t until February 10th, 2019, that the message finally got through. Thea was very sick and throwing up blood. She was in and out of the hospital dealing with the symptoms of her failing liver. Thea feels that something finally clicked, and she has not wanted to have a drink since that first day when she went to the hospital.   After two years sober, Thea started listening to podcasts and reading quit lit. She eventually found her way back to AA and it feels like home this time. Thea is very open about her recovery with her family and is grateful they never gave up on her.   Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.   RE on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/recoveryelevator/?hl=en] Recovery Elevator YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuWac9dxkn3J93xJOka3L2g] Sobriety Tracker iTunes  [https://appsto.re/us/z8w_5.i] Café RE [https://www.cafe-re.org/]